Why do I hate that thing (excluding image macros) that people put on facebook? Why am I such a jerk?

l-o-l

Man Tries to Hug a Wild Lion, You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!
earthporm.com
When you hear of someone trying to hug a wild lion, you immediately think you know exactly what's about to happen. But trust me when i say, you will not

Trayce, You Wouldn't Believe The Word For Flocks of Bird Swooping in Formation.
And when you learn it you'll cry.

(It's murmuration)

Hahaha! (thankyou. I thought it was sussuration so I was close)

She's all I need, all my life
I feel so good if I just say the word
Sussuration

You're the meaning in my life...

A Guy Started Dancing Alone – But What Happened Next Was Amazing

Here Are The Top 37 Things Dying People Say They Regret. Learn From It Before It’s Too Late

repost of a reblog of a german article which is a re-write of an australian article that says "hey vegans! you killed a load of animals. macho red meat eaters save the world with kindness to animals you narcissistic hippies. suck it up!"
wack science, warped invective & cherry picked statistics in original.
bros meat down yo's i gotsta loves me some red steak y'all

Not a vegan but fuck that

https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/l/t1/1623643_10152234053285120_1303368807_n.jpg

a new and deadlier form

oops wrong thread

amazed at how quickly + shamelessly huffpo's adapted to the upworthy brand of titles

these have been really bad this week in the wake of that 'strangers kissing' thing, every third thing on my feed is now *bad* black and white images of people doing something banal for the first time, or doing it every day for a year, and "The result is beyond..." (actually gets cut off there, fuuuuuuuck this). I realize a lot of these tropes have been around for ages, but it's the crummy low-contrast badly-lit B&W that unites them now.

amazed at how quickly + shamelessly huffpo's adapted to the upworthy brand of titles

Christ, event the NY Times and Slate, too.

https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/t1.0-9/1922333_10153965577400724_1709314915_n.jpg

look at her freakishly small hands

actual lol and wtf

that is maybe the funniest thing ive seen on this thread

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Tempted to unfriend everyone I see repost this passive-aggressive bullshit:

"I am very selective when it comes to befriending friends and family that's why I don't have many on Facebook, but I'm doing this once and once only, so now's your chance.........It occurs to me that for each and every one of you on my friends list, I catch myself looking at your pictures, sharing jokes and news, as well as support during good and bad times. I am also happy to have you among my friends. We will see who will take the time to read this message until the end. If you appreciate your friends and family from all over the world, copy this into your status, even if it's just for a minute. I'm going to be watching to see who takes care of the friendship, just like me. Thank you all for being a part of my life. Copy and paste please, DON'T SHARE!! If no one reads my wall, this should be a very short experiment. So, if you read this, leave one word as to how we met. Only ONE word, then copy & paste this to your wall so I can leave a word"

Ha, yeah, instant unfriend, also confusing as hell. Copy and paste, but add ONE word about how they met? Like at the end it would just say ''tree'' or ''street'' or ''doggystyle''?

"Is 'crack house' one word or two?"

I think what it's trying to say is: "Leave a word in the comments section saying how we met, then copy-paste this message into your own status so that I can leave a word on yours saying how we met." So the only way you can prove your friendship to this person is to impose the same friendship test on all your other friends...

facebook is the worst

i don't have any data to back this up but i feel like there was a moment recently when facebook entered its decline -- like i can more easily envision its passing over to the land of myspace, friendster, etc. i mean, everyone know it would pass eventually but i feel like it's going to be sooner? no one seems excited about it anymore. i could be wrong though. i dont know what the kids are doing these days

The kids want nothing to do with Facebook, apparently.

I'm starting to see the same signs I saw with Flickr. Hit someone's profile, and yeah, they're still commenting on others' posts or posting a link to Between Two Ferns, but look at their albums. Seeing a lot of ones where the last one updated is something like "Christmas 2012" or "At the Lake 2013".

I'm finally at the point where I have Facebook friends and Instagram friends. I don't know what will come next to tie everything back together, but it seems really segmented right now and Facebook -- with its older audience, news feeds in the corner about Will Wheaton and menu bar full of apps that seemed to have come from out of nowhere -- is looking very Prodigy-like lately.

The counterpoint to that "the kids don't use facebook" argument is that we don't know that they won't start using it more when they get older. Snapchat and tumblr aren't of much use for creating a page to share pictures of your baby with family, tracking down your high school classmates, etc.

But obvs that doesn't mean that something isn't going to come along that fills those purposes better

I gotta feel that the latter will come true before the former.

everyone shut up i don't know where else to put this but i need to put it somewhere

http://s9.postimg.org/rq8wqvf4v/cleveland.jpg

<<<enter evil>>> you walked right into my trap and set up this next remark

brb, adding this to my browser macros for easy ilx posting

Cleveland jokes wow so edgy such humor wow

you walked right into my trap and set up this next remark

i'm so lonely

lonely lonely lonely LONELY. Now I am a troll.._.

or Sting.

seriously i don't understand why people still find cleveland jokes funny

detroit gets all the depression glamour and cleveland just gets the same tired burning river jokes

smoking a blu is like smoking crack. exactly, precisely

Cleveland sure has a lot of people traps.

ahaha, my clever ploy of doubting the Indians' opening day attendance has lured him in. Now I must be patient, wait for just the right moment...

Ooooh, mad one! We see your trap. You can never escape.. your Cleveland. Submit with honor to a duel with my next remark!

*doffs fedora*

Cleveland sure has a lot of people traps.

― pplains

Dance as though no one is watching you. Sing as though no one can hear you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Live as though heaven is on earth.

Whatever Belinda Carlisle.

Belinda was not talking about some airy metaphysical/metaphorical thing, she insisted on the absolute knowledge that heaven IS a place on earth

She wasn't sure what it was worth though.

based on the principle that they say in heaven love comes first, she is making the logical error of assuming that if she is somewhere where love comes first that place is necessarily heaven.

i dunno because again that appeal to one of the necessary attributes of Heaven - that love comes first - is immediately used as a demand that Heaven MUST BE BUILT, ON EARTH, and not left as an imaginary form of pacification

http://blog.petflow.com/this-is-a-video-everyone-needs-to-see-for-the-first-time-in-my-life-im-speechless/

"This Is A Video EVERYONE Needs To See. For The First Time In My Life, I'm Speechless.
“This media we call social is anything but, when we open our computers and it’s our doors we shut”… This is one of the most vital messages that everyone needs to hear.

Look Up is a spoken word for the “online” generation. Written, performed and directed by Gary Turk, it is an extremely important life lesson for our youth. Children are growing up in a world where they don’t play outside or communicate with their friends. It seems today everything is done via text message or over the internet. It’s heartbreaking… I feel guilty myself. We need to spread this message before it’s too late. Please do your part and SHARE it with everyone you know."

before it's too late!!!

how tf am I still seeing people posting/being tagged in shitty ads for discounted Ray-Bans on facebook in 2017?

[I know it's unintentional but come on]

https://scontent.fphl2-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/19756702_1599164503448724_6422587242939143484_n.jpg?oh=e07eb664149a28e8f026d2baf064eb56&oe=59F9BCB7

That's horrible. I feel bad for the ellipses.

haven't been on facebook properly for ages. decided to start posting again to keep in touch with friends and family with whom i wouldn't otherwise keep in touch. now in an argument with some 'be nice to tories otherwise they won't vote for you' centrist bullshit friends. :/

if by "being nice", they meant don't carve your initials in their backside with a razor, or waterboard them, or repeatedly slap them about the face and head, then your centrist friends have a valid point and are not entirely out of line, imo.

otoh, if they meant do not challenge tories when they talk nonsense, or spout racism/sexism, or cite non-existent 'facts' or blatantly incorrect 'history', or merely indulge in mean-spiritedness, then fuck 'em.

tbh aimless i think this was the crux of the argument. i wasn't so sure about the initials on the backside or the slapping i'm afraid.

i mean wasn’t so sure about them being bad.

Is there a way to change your visibility settings so it doesn't show everyone when you're going to an event? I find FB helpful to keep track of what shows I'm going to but I don't like that it clutters up peoples' feeds every time I add a danged event.

https://i.imgur.com/LdBcelY.jpg