shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

http://images.dailystar-uk.co.uk/dynamic/pixfeed/covers/257x330front/2014-01-25.jpg

for the subheadline

http://thegrio.com/2014/01/12/pimp-sues-nike-for-not-warning-shoes-could-be-dangerous-if-used-to-beat-people/

nyt, sub-sub-onion, not even gonna waste teh effort to bypass the paywall

Opinion
Pastoral Icon or Woolly Menace?
By RICHARD CONNIFF

Sheep. They’re not as harmless as they seem.

http://www.salon.com/2014/01/28/radical_activist_sentenced_to_read_malcolm_gladwell/

lolololol

as onion knock-offs go this is pretty good http://the-toast.net/2014/01/29/everyone-imposter-syndrome-except/

huh, interesting that this came out a few days later; basically the same piece
http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-today-the-day-they-find-out-youre-a-fraud,35133/

http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2004/2/9/hundreds-register-for-new-facebook-website/

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/02/06/272490481/taliban-release-video-of-captured-american-military-dog

http://www.splicetoday.com/pop-culture/an-embarrassment-of-nouveau-riches

http://kotaku.com/norway-mass-murderer-goes-on-hunger-strike-for-better-1522910916

Chevron apologizes for fracking well explosion with coupons for free pizza
Residents affected by the massive explosion and fire are also eligible for a 2-liter bottle of soda

haha, i was thinking about posting that one

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs/2014/02/chronicle_deals_with_sperm-fil.php

http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/21/haters-going-to-hate-research-suggests/

ilxor.com

http://www.financialjesus.com/interesting-economics/top-10-countries-to-have-your-wallet-stolen-by-pickpockets/

Carter Too Jewish For Jewish Role

British actress HELENA BONHAM CARTER stunned director PAUL WEILAND with her Jewish accent on the set of their new movie SIXTY SIX and even had to be asked to tone down her impersonation The PLANET OF THE APES actress, who has Austrian Jewish roots, stars as social-climber ESTHER REUBEN in the British film and reveals it wasn't hard to do because of her family upbringing She says, "People always think I'm indelibly English, but actually I was brought up in Golders Green (north west London) and there's tons of Jewish blood on my mother's side " Of her role as Mrs Reuben, Carter laughs, "I was off-the-Richter-scale Jewish I sounded like MAUREEN LIPMAN (of THE PIANIST fame)!"

14 Insane Moments From RT's Coverage Of The Russian Invasion Of Ukraine
www.buzzfeed.com

"Relax, Chipotle won't stop serving guacamole because of global warming"
-LA Times

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2014/03/06/joseph_morse_the_army_s_top_sexual_assault_lawyer_accused_of_sexual_assault.html

Study finds 1 in 10 Americans think HTML is an STD

http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20140305/wicker-park/kickstarter-fail-artist-raises-51k-publish-books-burns-them-alley

Wait so this jackass didn't think to include the shipping cost in the amount he was asking per book?

Campbell said he spent $30,000 of the Kickstarter money to print 2,000 copies of the 200-page hardback book and then spent more money to include a dead wasp inside of each book.

Sorry to hear that u failed to print stick figures on paper and put them in the mail, guy

this is the best because the only losers in this story are people that would pay money for a book of webcomics

He's probably mentally ill tbh; and he did deliver 700 books to people. Obviously lost his mind

yeah, i'm def sad for dude's mental health, but good luck getting me to find a modicum of empathy for people who gave some dude $35 for a book of stick figures

must... refrain... from... hipster... puppy... book... comment...

ahahha

uhh i've been following this guy's comics for like five years now. he's very good at what he does and has a history of deep trolling. iirc he previously claimed that he just pretends to be depressed for the $$$ etc

sounds like denial, depression is not a good money maker

Women: Hot Guys Don’t Drive Mail Trucks
http://cdn.govexec.com/media/img/upload/2014/02/18/021814mailtrucksGE/medium.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2579884/Perrie-Edwards-mums-fury-Holby-City-story-line-deranged-fan-plots-decapitate-singer-rusty-chainsaw-obsession-1Ds-Zayn-Malik.html

publish-books-burn-them-alley

xpost looks more like a daily mash article

apologies for two Mail links in a row but this is great

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/1545560_653608554700595_73441332_n.png

lol what the fucking fuck

ws time distortion pill

Ellie Lolzwhatthefuckingfuck

futuristic techniques in torture is pretty much exactly what we should expect from the mail adding its new profile as a tech-forward news enterprise to its traditional profile

Correctional policy ideas from a 12-year-old boy

"New Technology To Extend Criminal Suffering Until The Nightmares Stop And We Can Finally Live A Normal Life After What That Bastard Did And Not Have To Look Over Our Shoulder When Doing Something As Mundane As Going To Get Groceries Or Even Go Outside For That Manner"

Fans time vasectomies for NCAA tourney

"If you are going to be laid up on the couch for a few days, you might as well get (a vasectomy) done when there is some great college basketball on TV," said Mike LaSalle, a 40-year-old father of two who had a vasectomy Friday. "You had all the conference championship games over the weekend and the NCAA tourney starts this week."

makes sense

Courtney Love claims to have found missing Malaysian Airlines plane http://nme.assets.ipccdn.co.uk/themes/default/static_images/buy_ticket_button_green.jpg

BUY TICKETS!

excellent

Mad Men's Creator: Don Draper Represents American Society