Goat Simulator

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-MILLIONS OF BUGS! We're only eliminating the crash-bugs, everything else is hilarious and we're keeping it

i wish mainstream devs were this honest

bizarro gazzara, Friday, 4 April 2014 15:46 (ten years ago) link

I'm enjoying the high-scoring reader reviews:

Commodent
Apr 1, 2014
10
This game has truly given me a deeper perspective of life. It has it all, a magnificent story that speaks straight to your heart, stunning voice acting (baaaa), and a wide room for exploration.

Swayvill
Apr 1, 2014
10
This is the game that all fans of realistic goat simulation have been waiting for! I graduated from biology & now work as a farmer at a goat farm and I have to applaud the game's simulation. Very realistic, very fun, very engaging simulator overall..

Anoukshuk
Apr 1, 2014
9
If you have been looking for the best product available in terms of simulation of 'Capra aegagrus hircus' - or the domestic goat, look no further. This simulator manages to avoid all the traps of confusing the representation with that of the inferior 'Ovis aries, or sheep (after all, goats tend to display less clumping behavior than sheep). Instead, Goat Simulator focuses on the unique skills and abilities of the independent goat, such as jumping and licking, but allows for some freedom of interpretation to enhance the overall experience of being a goat.
All in all, Goat Simulator will finally satisfy the high demand for goat simulation we have seen in today's market.

Arphiax Apr 1, 2014
10
This is by far the most splendid goat simulator I have ever played. It captures the running, jumping, licking, and headbutting essence of a real goat in a way that the other goat sims just don't deliver. If you have ever pondered about the daily life of a goat, look no further.
Also includes the addictive mini game 'Flappy Goat' so this is like getting two games for the price of one.

10/10 would goat it again.

and the haters:

notsoslow Apr 1, 2014
0
This is the death of PC gaming. We could've stopped it. Our standards have become so low that we rate indie games that look like they've been made in an hour 1010. Stop for a second and think about the future of video games, please.

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Friday, 4 April 2014 15:50 (ten years ago) link

Stop for a second and think about the future of video games, please.

http://www.djrobswift.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/bruce-lee-dont-think-feel-gif-MWB0.gif

bizarro gazzara, Friday, 4 April 2014 15:58 (ten years ago) link

this game is basically skyrim fyi

adam, Friday, 4 April 2014 16:08 (ten years ago) link

skyrim is the best pc game ever so that's not a bad place to be

ciderpress, Friday, 4 April 2014 16:11 (ten years ago) link

Waiting the inevitable Oculus/goat action

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Friday, 4 April 2014 16:14 (ten years ago) link

Haha, I got a trailer for "Gods Not Dead" as the pre-roll for this. Even better given all the deliberately satanic shit they chucked into the game for a laff.

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Friday, 4 April 2014 16:31 (ten years ago) link

these wankers took a great idea and made it stupid. heartbroken

― twistent consistent (Noodle Vague), Friday, 4 April 2014 08:36 Bookmark

chacun à son goat

r|t|c, Friday, 4 April 2014 17:22 (ten years ago) link

rat ta tat ta dah...

Mark G, Friday, 4 April 2014 17:26 (ten years ago) link

While this is pretty funny, it also leads to the unedifying spectacle of everyone wanting to be in on the joke and outlets, without a trace of irony, awarding Goat Simulator the kind of decent scores and writeups that may tempt people towards a purchase. This is where I have to say baa humbug. The joke with Goat Simulator is that it's crap. And while this is a funny joke for 10 minutes, it becomes a different thing when the game's on the front page of Steam for £7.

http://i418.photobucket.com/albums/pp264/killahz1_2008/aholes/HATERZ-3.jpg

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Friday, 4 April 2014 19:36 (ten years ago) link

Never forget the goat listener on greenspun...

Spencer Chow, Friday, 4 April 2014 20:14 (ten years ago) link

I'm waiting for someone to hack multiplayer and voicechat into this thing. Then we should see some fun.

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Friday, 4 April 2014 20:43 (ten years ago) link

when juggalos game

We hugged with no names exchanged (forksclovetofu), Friday, 4 April 2014 21:13 (ten years ago) link

Is there a rift/debate about video game 'theory' or what have you? Like, as an exaggeration, merry prankster goat simulator types vs. "Let's make each shooter more realistic than the last one" types.

brimstead, Friday, 4 April 2014 21:50 (ten years ago) link

Like, accurately simulating modern physics/life vs. making up yr own physical laws or w/e

brimstead, Friday, 4 April 2014 21:51 (ten years ago) link

I haven't played this yet but I have seen a few videos. Not sure it will hold up longer than 10 mins. I would probably give it more a benefit of the doubt if Octodad hadn't come out recently and offered a truly bizarre and inhuman playing experience. This seems more like a GTA mod with a goat instead of the main avatar or something.

▴▲ ▴TH3CR()$BY$H()W▴▲ ▴ (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 4 April 2014 22:05 (ten years ago) link

more games should aim for "GTA with a" or "GTA in a ". Shenmue = Moses

brimstead, Friday, 4 April 2014 22:10 (ten years ago) link

Finally got home from Northwestern Arkansas. Downloading now.

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Saturday, 5 April 2014 02:43 (ten years ago) link

Like, accurately simulating modern physics/life vs. making up yr own physical laws or w/e

everything is an abstraction to some level, thanks to the uncanny valley, so how much do you play up that abstraction and what can you do with you deliberately limit yourself in visual verisimilitude? Zelda: Wind Waker has held up the best of any LoZ game for the last 10+ years.

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Saturday, 5 April 2014 02:45 (ten years ago) link

Oh man, even the soundtrack is sarcastic

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Saturday, 5 April 2014 03:51 (ten years ago) link

As the resident ILG lover of terrible games I can't even begin to explain how heart wrenching my lack of compatible system is.

Corpsepaint Counterpaint (jjjusten), Saturday, 5 April 2014 03:58 (ten years ago) link

Jesus Christ do they openly ref Tony Hawk in everything but explicit name

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Saturday, 5 April 2014 04:02 (ten years ago) link

Ok, so far I've found Goathenge and the tv where you can play 'Flappy Goat'(starring NyanGoat).

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Saturday, 5 April 2014 22:19 (ten years ago) link

Goat Simulator
April 7 at 6:54am · Edited ·

ATTENTION GOATS

A lot of you have been asking for DLCs for Goat Simulator. However, we wanted to do a free update instead, because goats don't like to charge for new content.

Patch 1.1 for Goat Simulator will be adding a whole new playable map, roughly the size of the original map, local splitscreen multiplayer, new achievements, new goats, and more!

Patch will come in the middle of May!

Honey-Roasted Cashews (kingfish), Thursday, 10 April 2014 07:44 (ten years ago) link

dam man

purposely lend impetus to my HOOS (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Thursday, 10 April 2014 14:33 (ten years ago) link

three weeks pass...

If you thought Goat Simulator's suburban setting was just a ramshackle playground for an adorable animal get into all sorts of glitchy, physics-based mayhem, you'd be wrong. It turns out that this chaotic realm of mischievous mammals and jetpacks has a far more sinister purpose: it's purgatory.

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2014-05-09-goat-simulators-disturbing-lore-finally-explained

bizarro gazzara, Saturday, 10 May 2014 23:28 (nine years ago) link

three weeks pass...

v1.1 PATCH is out! Goat parkour is go!

also:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=793433460668309&set=vb.207933782551616

Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Wednesday, 4 June 2014 21:11 (nine years ago) link

one year passes...

This is out and on sale for PS3 this week, fyi.

Grilled Floam In A Gak Reduction (Old Lunch), Saturday, 15 August 2015 14:46 (eight years ago) link


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