VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

Spent my last week broke, finally got paid, and when I took money out I went to put it in my wallet and found £50. I never use my wallet, is the problem. Free money, I guess, but it was an unnecessarily horrible week.

This might all be related to side effects of chemo, incl the 4 hrs' sleep a night i get on steroids, or not. In the last 24 hours I have:

-accidentally thrown out my midday snack of mixed nuts
-thrown the day's new underwear and socks into the toilet *shrug*
-selected replacement underwear, put it on backwards (as i discovered when i went to piss)

Oh god lol but also jeeeeeez.

overpriced Planters mixed nuts, i might add

welcome Morbz. free coffee in back, help yourself to a donut.

I only buy the NY Times on Sun, Wed and Fri, because y'know $2.50. So I bought it today cuz it's obviously Friday.

lol

I've been making evening cups of tea for me & mr veg for I don't know how long. I know the routine. boil the kettle, wait for the DING, set up the teabags & pour the water, set the timer for 5 minutes, done.

lately I boil the water...and mr veg will come ask me 20 minutes later if I was making tea because the kettle boiled.

Or I will boil the water, pour the water into the cups, and 20 minutes later we'll have cold tea and I'll have to start all over again.

Yesterday I almost handed Mr Veg a cup of boiled water with no teabag.

most of the time Mr Veg will just intervene and complete the process because I suddenly am terrible at making a goddamn cup of tea ffs

I threw my phone in the laundry hamper this morning.

I did that thing where I had mr veg call my phone because I had put it down somewhere and I couldn't find it

standing in the middle of the living room when he's calling it and then he gives me this look and points

it's literally RIGHT in front of me, on the coffee table face down.

so much failure in one person, how can it be possible

I've been meaning to post this but kept forgetting (naturally). Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I was preparing breakfast. I had an empty plate waiting for toast and an empty cup waiting for (instant (hush)) coffee. As I was waiting for my bread to toast, I scooped out my heaping teaspoon of instant coffee and dumped it onto the plate.

Also feeling this tweet: https://twitter.com/leyawn/status/488515392990498816

on saturday I set out my cereal bowl and a mug for my tea. went to pour the boiling water for tea & realized I'd put the teabag in the cereal bowl.

Sisterz

:D

About 80% sure I poured half a glass of real milk into my iced coffee instead of the almond milk right next to it. This is not as comic as the teabag on plate antics of the rest of the thread, I apologize. Also it has given me 6 hours of pain.

no way, that's the real talk of absentmindedness - sometimes its lols & sometimes it legit affects yr actual life in negative ways

that supersucks, io :(

As caek once said after biting into some non-vegetarian mystery food, "When it tastes too good, I know there's meat in it." That's how I am with dairy, and I thought that iced coffee was suspiciously delicious.

sorry io :(

I went to trim my toenails last night and then saw they were already trimmed and I have no recollection of doing it. I mean it's not a very exciting event to remember but generally I find the whole procedure enough of a pain in the ass that it should trigger some kind of "oh yeah, I did that last night".

Few weeks ago I went to put my shoes on and found one in the usual place and one on top of a pile of paper several feet away*, so neatly upright and central that it didn't even look like I'd kicked it off, and I thought "surely I should remember either putting it there or watching this absurd miraculous landing" but no.

(* yes I have a foot-high pile of assorted paper on my bedroom floor, probably including utterly useless mailshots mixed in with important documents and all things in between, but if there's any thread where I can admit to that...)

Sort of felt like I'm beginning to lose it but I suppose the existence of stories throughout the ages of ghosts'n'gremlins moving yr stuffs and elves creeping in to do yr housework suggests I'm not the first.

did that thing where I had mr veg call my phone because I had put it down somewhere and I couldn't find it

standing in the middle of the living room when he's calling it and then he gives me this look and points

it's literally RIGHT in front of me, on the coffee table face down.

so much failure in one person, how can it be possible

I'll add: ...and then I instantly forget what was even happening and answer the goddam phone. And spend about three confused seconds before I realise why nobody is replying to my "Hello? Hello?"

This has happened more than once. I am seriously scatterbrained.

:D

Left the house, went to the store, walked to the bus and boarded before realizing I'd only buttoned the bottomed two buttons on my shirt (neck to mid-low abdomen exposed). Fortunately I was wearing an undershirt but still.....

i arrived at work with my fly open. you are defeated.

I think I bought a book earlier and then left it on the counter at the charity shop i bought it in. But I can't remember what the book is. I can just think about what was on the price tag and where i bought it.

& I did manage to walk out of a shop without what I bought last week after messing around trying to get the right change for the counter assistant. Thankfully he called me back as I left but god, felt really embarrassed and annoyed at myself.

used work door pass in the oystercard reader. looked very silly.

I spend hours at work, reviewing the procedures, waiting to be given something to do. Then when I actually get something I display the memory of a goldfish.

Left the house, went to the store, walked to the bus and boarded before realizing I'd only buttoned the bottomed two buttons on my shirt (neck to mid-low abdomen exposed). Fortunately I was wearing an undershirt but still.....

― Je55e, Tuesday, August 5, 2014 1:20 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That's amazing.

I was listening to the last minute or so of a podcast while waiting for the subway. I take my kindle out of my bag since I want to read on the subway and put it on the bench next to me. Subway arrives, I get on. At this point, I am listening to the podcast that was next in the queue. About 2 stations later I realize I no longer have my kindle. I go back but the kindle is gone. Contacted lost and found multiple times in the last week but nothing turned up. This sucks. RIP kindle, I will replace you eventually.

Somehow, $25 worth of shrimp disappeared between my putting it in the cart and checking out.

put new package of smoked turkey in the fridge only to discover an unopened package already in there

absentmindedness is expensive & stupid :(

but yay double turkey

xp, Put in wrong cart?

A co-worker once bought like a 20-lb bag of frozen shrimp, put it in the trunk of his car, and forgot about it by the time he got home. Only remembered days later when he smelled it.

oh fuck

I think it got hung on the edge of the conveyor belt and never moved forward for me to scan it, and I didn't notice until I got home.

Earlier today I dumped a scoop of cat food into my shoe instead of the cats' bowl.

You maniac. I am stifling laughter so as not to wake up a sleeping baby.

lol

wow

je55e irl:

http://i57.tinypic.com/2j4qa9d.png

Wow. Worst I've done is poured cereal into a cup.

Once a ticket collector on a train asked for my ticket, I showed him my book for a few seconds and didn't understand why it wasn't accepted.

I tried to pay for a movie with my library card. Last Tuesday I wrote a check to someone, folded it up and put it in my wallet, and handed the person my checkbook instead.

looool

The number of times I've tried to swipe my (non)drivers license or company ID at the subway turnstile is amazing.

Just very nearly sprayed toothpaste under my arms instead of deodorant (cans next to each other on bathroom countertop).

the other night i got to my front door and was a bit puzzled when i tried to tap in with my oyster card and found a lock there instead

i think my sense of direction is gone to shit, i couldnt find my way driving back from my friends house last night. although its been a while its a trip i must have made about 20 or 30 times

bought some apples at a farm stand. like anywhere you hand them the fruit, they weigh it, tell you the price and you give them the money.

on Sunday I was just on autopilot or something. I handed the farmer my bag of apples and $5.
he takes the apples but not the money. I try to hand him the money again, like some kind of defective robot.

he gives me this look (and I come by every week so he knows that I know how this works) and he says 'I have to weigh them before I can take your money'

mr veg is standing next to me all 'lol wtf'

booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop *no signal*

The classic looking for my glasses for an hour and they were on my head. It sort of pissed me off in a very dispassionate way.

I was walking around with a letter, looking around for a mailbox. I finally stopped to search for one on the USPS app and realized I was leaning on one.

lol

Did you ever glance at the warnings about package size and then drop your parcel in there without considering its weight? I felt so bad when I did this, fortunately it wasn't that big and honestly wasn't a bomb, just some heavy books...

reached a new low a few weeks ago as I forgot I was pouring boiling water into the sink and unthinkingly reached to turn on the cold tap. you will all be glad to know I dealt w/ the scald v responsibly.

i went out with the sole intention of buying lunch, came home with shampoo and envelopes and washing up liquid but no lunch.