Pitchfork's Chris Ott takes No Prisoners

"I never go to the P4K main page" is the new "I don't even own a TV"

otm

best new music more like best new bullshit

I know that "tl;dr" is annoying these days but you guys would make an exception if I used it for this, right

Lots of people say they don't read Chris Ott's Needle Drop rant. They do.

this thing is like a year old, why

tbh i hadn't even heard of No Fanta until like a few months ago so i'm guessing this thing just pops back up as he becomes more well known

αυтнєηтι¢ ρяινιℓєgє @shallowrewards · 17h

The Internet is real. Break the cycle.

Surprised that nobody has a summarisation startup called tldr.com

"Any freelancers reading this are probably drooling right now, and they should be."

...unless they're female, in which case doing a youtube vlog with your face and voice and home decor attached is more likely to result in death threats and/or rape threats and/or stalking threats and/or actual stalking?

I appreciate how Ott uses examples from everyday life to ground his high-flying cultural criticism in terms we can all understand.

"Fantano went to SCSU and is originally from Prospect, which is sort of the Connecticut equivalent of being from Farmingdale and watching fuckheads from Oyster Bay cut through your town in color-coordinated 458s whenever the LIE goes harsh realm."

(which isn't hypothetical at all. I follow a couple popular youtube partners -- no idea how much money they actually make, but they're close to the upper limit of success in their niche -- and several have said they are reluctant to have female guests because literally every time they've invited a female guest on she has been stalked.)

xp: brio, I had to google almost all of that sentence.

I know what Connecticut and fuckheads are. The rest is lost on me. Does he maybe put all his writing through an online translator into Bulgarian and back into English?

Let me explain it for you: Being from Town A is the equivalent of being from Town B and watching people drive through your town

makes totally sense

I did get that much as well, sorry for exagerating

Lots of people say they don't read Pitchfork. They do.

actual lol

So is being from Prospect but attending SCSU the equivalent of watching fuckheads from Oyster Bay cut through your town in color-coordinated 458s whenever the LIE goes harsh realm? Or is it simply just being from Prospect that is the equivalent?

xpost I'm joking too--the sentence doesn't actually make sense

it's like 'he attended this school and is originally from this somewhat nearby town, which is like watching people drive through your town to avoid traffic jams.'

when Ott blogs, he creates his own reality. And while we’re studying that reality — judiciously, as you will — he’ll blog again, creating other new realities, which we can study too, and that’s how things will sort out.

haha

Lots of people say they don't read Pitchfork. They do.

actual lol

― dude (Lamp), Tuesday, May 20, 2014 12:52 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

my mom has been denying that she has a problem....i went through her browser history and there it was...the url for the stream of the new hercules and love affair ;_;

You read it when someone reblogs or retweets them; you follow “attribution” back-links to understand why every other site on the Internet is shitting out second-stage coverage of Something Pitchfork Did.

The last thing I read on Pitchfork was their update of the Flaming Lips saga...which was shat-out second-stage coverage of Something Rolling Stone Did.

Anthony can probably even afford his own health care plan.

bennies

the Chevy Cruze is actually not a bad car, terrible name but a decent ride tbh

omg ums

it is GM's top selling vehicle after all

shallow-rewards:
mbmelodies:
The Needle Drop Reviews Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

So this is a very conflicting review for me personally. First, the negative…

lmao

http://images.dazedcdn.com/1000x800/dd/1070/3/1073071.JPG

Never got to the positive

i started writing a little bit for pfork and guess what, lots of people *don't even know what pitchfork is*. and lots of people know what it is *but don't care*.

Never got to the positive

that was actually mbmelodies assessing needle dropbro's faulty ideas about j-pop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHs81dv0y9s

A lot of people say they don't read Tyler's essays about Pavement bootlegs. They do.

A lot of people say they don't read my stuff. They do.

http://i.imgur.com/h2VO2Kz.jpg

http://m.memegen.com/y0xdkf.jpg

i can't believe how long this guys bluster has gone on. keep negatively sub-tweeting musicians into your 40s you brave soul. you're really saving music

whenever i read about this dude and his "ideas" i think his social circle must be incredibly narrow and circumscribed because he writes about stuff in the "rock" world with no perspective or sense of proportion whatsoever. as if he had no idea that there were other taste groups, other realms of human experience.

more narrow than that, the "indie rock" world

it's like his world is coextensive with the walls of a college radio station

..and even more narrow than that, the "indie rock" world of his past

his views are completely archaic at this point

i sort of still stand behind my theory that he's behind a certain widely hated ilx poster/troll/potential sock whom i think we all know, though some v solid holes were poked it it elsewhere

in any case, yeah, his schtick is utterly pathetic, and aside from a small cult audience of TROO BELIEVERZ all his reads/video views/twitter TL scrolls are probably of the "lol i can't believe this dude" variety. its gamergate logic with less sexism (or at least less violent sexism), applied to music and music writing.

yeah chris, everyone's a sellout, p4k has corporate sponsorship (OMG NOOOO HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN *clutches pearls*) and some obscure-ass vaguely postpunk or noise or whateverthefuck bands you saw in allston or NYC when you were in your 20s are the only real musicians. real brave of you to point that out. finally, it's hilarious to think that he honestly thinks p4k cares as much about him as he does about them.

tbh it seems like a "twlight zone" premise: some revenant from my college radio days returns 20 years later still complaining about the same shit in the same terms, referencing the same bands, wearing the same t-shirts. it's unsettling and almost kind of uncanny.

how many new artists does he even take on? to my understanding he specifically targets a lot of these vaguely 90's revisionist college rock bands (Speedy Ortiz) that only a scant few people give a shit about anyway.

i guess it's his chance to have a "moment" in the scene that neglected him. whatever helps you sleep at night bud

dude's got bennies he can get treated for sleep apnea if he wants

yeah man an apnea sleep mask isn't even that expensive with decent insurance

that might be an actual problem of his tho

he's currently harrassing craig jenkins (forgive me for not knowing his poster name if indeed he is on ILX, i'm still a relative n00b) saying he "doesn't get to decide" when he gets dragged into ott going truth to power once again on yet another p4k writer (hard to feel sympathy when it's cohen tho)

he forgot take his heart attack pills