Why do I hate that thing (excluding image macros) that people put on facebook? Why am I such a jerk?

My sister-in-law posted this today...it has a headline written in That Style, but it is otherwise transcendent:

https://vine.co/v/MgZ3l1AtnOm

At First I Thought It Was Written In That Style....But What I Read Next Was Transcendent

The King Of All Men Saw Something Drowning In The Ocean. And I Still Can't Believe What He Did.

What he did...whoa.

I wonder if I'd hate these as much if they Didn't Capitalize Words Like In, The, And Of.

ILXor Mookieproof was RTing some of these from https://twitter.com/SavedYouAClick Good stuff.

Saved You A Click @SavedYouAClick · 5h
St. Maarten RT @HuffingtonPost: What happens when you put a working airport RIGHT next to a tourist beach

Saved You A Click @SavedYouAClick · 15h
Drinking alcohol. RT @MensHealthMag: The habit that ages you:

Saved You A Click @SavedYouAClick · Jun 13
Dancing dinosaur says racism is bad. RT @ClickHole: This Video Seems Silly, But It Makes a Good Point

i am so happy about clickhole

24 Statements That Get More True The Longer You Think About Them

oh wow

it's the reaction gifs that take from dumbest thing ever to actual clickhole material

need a script that inserts one of those gifs every time someone posts to the truthbombs thread

i'm having trouble understanding why ppl 'like' things that are posted by nonhuman entities/corporations/etc? like. it isn't getting bookmarked. it does nothing for you. you're not making someone feel good.

basically i'm just really annoyed at this one friend who likes every single esquire.com article thereby forcing every single horrible esquire.com article onto my wall

16. What if the Egyptians didn’t actually revere cats, but only jokingly did like we do on the internet?

xp so you just answered your own question!

23. 1980 is as far away as 2048.

this statement actually gets less true the longer you think about it, think about it

OMG I HAVE BLOWN YOUR MIND

http://blog.petflow.com/14-grandparents-walked-on-stage-the-judges-werent-impressed-until-they-did-this

:[

I almost feel like I'm part of the problem if I click on that.

i'm not actually viewing that so i don't if those are verified grandparents or not but i'm so annoyed by the tendency to call all old people "grandparents" when their lack of grandparentness has nothing to do with whatever it is they're doing, as if old people who do not have kids who also had kids look different from normal old people (obv the actual assumption is all old people have grandkids)

One of my aunts was a grandparent before age 40.

https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/t1.0-9/1549339_695217307167998_1216709721_n.jpg

Paste whatever is still on your clipboard in the comments below, unless you're a coward.

"Eight hundred and fifty classic rock song titles? Well, if you say so!"

...zing?

Universal Energy

http://s11.postimg.org/uxaj5pk4j/noize.png

http://www.worthytoshare.com/he-told-his-loving-wife-he-wants-a-divorce#

isn't that one a mainstay of this/other Facebook threads? It's so utterly bizarre

i confess i didn't pay enough attention to this thread to have seen it before

well more that I'm sure it's been doing the rounds for ages! and people must still be posting it!
BUT WHY

oh i understand. i don't know! it's not even remotely sense-making!

I still see it at least once a year, and it makes no more sense now than it did the first time I trudged through it.

so someone shared a video of animals being killed at a factory farm and then captioned it "Don't watch!!!"

http://www.tickld.com/x/zach-galifianakis-might-have-been-the-funny-guy-but-this-is-amazing

^ why you hate that?

because i am such a jerk

There's an image-story thing going around about how Zach Galifianakis, and starts with "Zach Galifianakis Might Have Been The Funny Guy As The One Man..." and I was really hoping it was a Clickhole parody that would go on to detail everything crappy and un-funny he's done since then. Unfortunately it's about him being a hero to a homeless person.

http://www.tickld.com/x/zach-galifianakis-might-have-been-the-funny-guy-but-this-is-amazing

― flatizza (harbl), Saturday, September 6, 2014 12:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^ why you hate that?

― Aimless, Saturday, September 6, 2014 1:03 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

because i am such a jerk

― flatizza (harbl), Saturday, September 6, 2014 3:39 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There's an image-story thing going around about how Zach Galifianakis, and starts with "Zach Galifianakis Might Have Been The Funny Guy As The One Man..." and I was really hoping it was a Clickhole parody that would go on to detail everything crappy and un-funny he's done since then. Unfortunately it's about him being a hero to a homeless person.

― Doctor Casino, Sunday, September 7, 2014 2:28 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

trenchant social commentary?

hahaha ok totally missed that, i don't read urls anymore btw, ilx should display all HTML as a series of images in a long vertical strip

john mclaughlin video where he says in not these exact words but man the world sucks cos musos don't get paid mad money for playing arse backwards jazz noodling. govt funds orchestras therefore govt must fund jazz.
i mean, can you imagine?
of course jazz noodlers & musos think the world should lap up their solipsistic widdling for $$$ for their entire life span, so cries of "hear hear!", "tell it like it is!" abound.

SOMEONE. MAKE IT STOP.

http://imgur.com/a/eTtNu?gallery

http://i.imgur.com/dj2PBmA.jpg

huh, this guy went to my high school (but I didn't know him personally). feel like imgur glurge should be its own thread.

http://elitedaily.com/sports/30-things-can-tell-boyfriend-based-nfl-team-supports/760163/

i want to send that into outer space so aliens can find it and judge us for what we truly are

Samantha Perez · Cheney, Washington
So not true. And really. Seahawks fans are not loyal most are not real fans. The ones that are loyal are Cowboys fans we will always be fans no matter what happens. You need to get you facts right before stereotype fans

13 PROBLEMS WITH PORK

1) A pig is a real garbage gut. It will eat anything including urine, excrement, dirt, decaying animal flesh, maggots, or decaying vegetables. They will even eat the cancerous growths off other pigs or animals.

2) The meat and fat of a pig absorbs toxins like a sponge. Their meat can be 30 times more toxic than beef or venison.

3) When eating beef or venison, it takes 8 to 9 hours to digest the meat so what little toxins are in the meat are slowly put into our system and can be filtered by the liver. But when pork is eaten, it takes only 4 hours to digest the meat. We thus get a much higher level of toxins within a shorter time.

4) Unlike other mammals, a pig does not sweat or perspire. Perspiration is a means by which toxins are removed from the body. Since a pig does not sweat, the toxins remain within its body and in the meat.

5) Pigs and swine are so poisonous that you can hardly kill them with strychnine or other poisons.

6) Farmers will often pen up pigs within a rattlesnake nest because the pigs will eat the snakes, and if bitten they will not be harmed by the venom.

7) When a pig is butchered, worms and insects take to its flesh sooner and faster than to other animal's flesh. In a few days the swine flesh is full of worms.

Swine and pigs have over a dozen parasites within them, such as tapeworms, flukes, worms, and trichinae. There is no safe temperature at which pork can be cooked to ensure that all these parasites, their cysts, and eggs will be killed.

9) Pig meat has twice as much fat as beef. A 3 oz T bone steak contains 8.5 grams of fat; a 3 oz pork chop contains 18 grams of fat. A 3 oz beef rib has 11.1 grams of fat; a 3 oz pork spare rib has 23.2 grams of fat.

10) Cows have a complex digestive system, having four stomachs. It thus takes over 24 hours to digest their vegetarian diet causing its food to be purified of toxins. In contrast, the swine's one stomach takes only about 4 hours to digest its foul diet, turning its toxic food into flesh.

11) The swine carries about 30 diseases which can be easily passed to humans. This is why God commanded that we are not even to touch their carcase (Leviticus 11:8).

12) The trichinae worm of the swine is microscopically small, and once ingested can lodge itself in our intestines, muscles, spinal cord or the brain. This results in the disease trichinosis. The symptoms are sometimes lacking, but when present they are mistaken for other diseases, such as typhoid, arthritis, rheumatism, gastritis, MS, meningitis, gall bladder trouble, or acute alcoholism.

13) The pig is so poisonous and filthy, that nature had to prepare him a sewer line or canal running down each leg with an outlet in the bottom of the foot. Out of this hole oozes pus and filth his body cannot pass into its system fast enough. Some of this pus gets into the meat of the pig.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purity_and_Danger

Hmm, bacon.

That list perfectly explains why every civilization that allowed pigs to be cultivated and eaten disappeared from the earth long ago. And why there are so many rattlesnakes nowadays.

Oh man that pig list...

PIGS ARE FILTHY ANIMALS

THIS IS WHY I LOVE LIVING IN CALIFORNIA *heart emoticons*

(Uploads photo of smoggy sunset over a concrete industrial area wasteland)

#myview #nofilter