this is a good read:http://deadspin.com/the-top-200-ways-bleacher-report-screwed-me-over-1608499729
― go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 00:50 (nine years ago) link
not to defend bleacher report, but that guy was a sucker
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 01:22 (nine years ago) link
Agreed in both counts. Good article but the dude got taken to the cleaners.
― Prince Kajuku (Bill Magill), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 02:43 (nine years ago) link
Has anyone had a mightier fall than King Kaufman?
― Prince Kajuku (Bill Magill), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 02:44 (nine years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/bcnyERE.jpg
― mookieproof, Thursday, 24 July 2014 01:01 (nine years ago) link
I hope to god that was a joke.
― Prince Kajuku (Bill Magill), Thursday, 24 July 2014 02:03 (nine years ago) link
nope, merely a hot take
― mookieproof, Thursday, 24 July 2014 02:33 (nine years ago) link
stephen a. smith covering himself in glory today
― mookieproof, Friday, 25 July 2014 18:17 (nine years ago) link
― mookieproof, Wednesday, July 23, 2014 10:33 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
That take was so hot im fucking sunburned. Piping hot.
― Prince Kajuku (Bill Magill), Friday, 25 July 2014 19:45 (nine years ago) link
― mookieproof, Friday, July 25, 2014 2:17 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Beadle absolutely nuked him on Twitter. http://awfulannouncing.com/2014/michelle-beadle-calls-out-first-take-for-ray-rice-segment.html
There is precedence in ESPN history for a suspension...........of Beadle. If i remember correctly, Simmons got put on the shelf for calling the Stephen A./Bayless show a piece of shit.
If that happens, i will never watch ESPN again.
― Prince Kajuku (Bill Magill), Friday, 25 July 2014 19:46 (nine years ago) link
I should say i only watch ESPN now when a sporting event is on. Nothing else, except maybe 30 for 30.
― Prince Kajuku (Bill Magill), Friday, 25 July 2014 19:47 (nine years ago) link
Funny, the last time I checked, you can't spell Jameis without "me" and "I."
― mookieproof, Thursday, 18 September 2014 00:28 (nine years ago) link
espn suspended keith law from twitter because he defended evolution from curt schilling
i mean
lol
― mookieproof, Saturday, 22 November 2014 00:58 (nine years ago) link
Well done, ESPN.
― TAKING SIDES: HUMANS VS. GUACAMOLEEE (Leee), Saturday, 22 November 2014 01:16 (nine years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B7-9Q3bIMAAVRgv.png
― mookieproof, Thursday, 22 January 2015 21:23 (nine years ago) link
sheman otm
― Spottie, Thursday, 22 January 2015 21:30 (nine years ago) link
SHERMAN
http://deadspin.com/how-jason-whitlock-is-poisoning-espns-black-grantland-1698683962
wau
― mookieproof, Monday, 27 April 2015 21:57 (nine years ago) link
dang
― #wegonnabechampionship (Spottie), Tuesday, 28 April 2015 00:49 (nine years ago) link
i feel like the inevitable revival of deflategate takes is gonna provide some quality mockery/hateread material for this thread
― slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 21:16 (nine years ago) link
havent seen anything yet but it's gotta only be a matter of time. simmdog has to be typing fuckin furiously about this
― slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 21:19 (nine years ago) link
http://deadspin.com/the-ballghazi-takes-are-back-and-they-are-more-insane-1702819519
― mookieproof, Thursday, 7 May 2015 19:09 (eight years ago) link
i'm dying at this one:
During the investigation and answering questions from the media, Brady denied tampering with footballs or having any knowledge of those who did. However, he declined to make his text messages and emails available to NFL investigators.Why, Tom?Why?You know why.I know why.The NFL knows why.Because Brady cheated, that’s why.Just like A-Rod.Just like Barry Bonds.Just like Lance Armstrong.Another one of our nation’s most beloved sports heroes – a true Patriot – has flushed his integrity down the toilet.Bye, bye, Mr. American Pie.
Why, Tom?
Why?
You know why.
I know why.
The NFL knows why.
Because Brady cheated, that’s why.
Just like A-Rod.
Just like Barry Bonds.
Just like Lance Armstrong.
Another one of our nation’s most beloved sports heroes – a true Patriot – has flushed his integrity down the toilet.
Bye, bye, Mr. American Pie.
― slothroprhymes, Thursday, 7 May 2015 19:18 (eight years ago) link
the "Why, Tom?" part is the killer
― slothroprhymes, Thursday, 7 May 2015 19:19 (eight years ago) link
Tom "AP" Brady
― “audience participation” otherwise known as “touching” (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 7 May 2015 19:19 (eight years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/ey3cI9g.png
― mookieproof, Thursday, 7 May 2015 19:50 (eight years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CEbc2npVAAA5kY4.jpg:medium
― slothroprhymes, Thursday, 7 May 2015 20:35 (eight years ago) link
ugh slothrop, I shoulda recognized the Bye Bye Mr. American Pie one. that's our local columnist Mike Bianchi, who has been an embarrassment for as long as I can remember because he's held the post since I was a child.
I used to write him emails frequently to complain about his most recent horrible analogy, his penchant for hyperbole, or his reactionary writing style (as evidenced with the example above). He's famous mostly for hopping on whatever bandwagon issue crops up and taking a personal stand that often greatly exceeds the scope of whatever the transgression was to begin with.
fucking hate that guy.
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Thursday, 7 May 2015 21:40 (eight years ago) link
the column he wrote the day after Earnhardt died was insufferable. He even had a special modified avatar of his face added to the column, which was usually adorned with his cheesy smiling face....only this time he used a deliberately concocted "sad" face instead. one that wouldn't have been believed in children's theatre, mind you.
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Thursday, 7 May 2015 21:42 (eight years ago) link
i think Jemele Hill is the only person from our local paper who went on to have a solid career.
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Thursday, 7 May 2015 21:43 (eight years ago) link
yeah that whole thing makes shaughnessy seem restrained. this dude seems like a demon of cheesy shitty banality
― slothroprhymes, Thursday, 7 May 2015 21:52 (eight years ago) link
the other local sportswriter used to call him an idiot on their televised appearances all the time. Bianchi's only retort was usually "you're fat"
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Thursday, 7 May 2015 21:59 (eight years ago) link
Sports writing is and always will be terrible, because sports contests are extremely rule-bound and essentially near duplicates of one another in everything but the outcome of each contest. All the possible stories have been written hundreds of thousands of times. Consequently, sports writers are stuck in horrible dead end jobs they often become wretched unhappy people.
― Aimless, Friday, 8 May 2015 02:01 (eight years ago) link
so for sportswriting to get better, out with the rules?
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 8 May 2015 15:22 (eight years ago) link
Or, someone could write and AI program to replace sports writers.
― Aimless, Friday, 8 May 2015 16:29 (eight years ago) link
already donehttp://automatedinsights.com/sports/
― “audience participation” otherwise known as “touching” (forksclovetofu), Friday, 8 May 2015 16:41 (eight years ago) link
lol yeah Yahoo uses it for Fantasy football
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 8 May 2015 17:14 (eight years ago) link
it would occasionally do things like attribute wins to the wrong team or call teams by the wrong name tho
that bye bye american pie abortion of a paragraph is like aspiring to be plaschke and it makes me die a little inside
― panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Friday, 8 May 2015 17:16 (eight years ago) link
that's a masterwork compared to some of of the shit he writes about sports he barely knows
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 8 May 2015 17:17 (eight years ago) link
aimless clearly has what it takes to be a (sports or non-) pundit
― mookieproof, Friday, 8 May 2015 18:12 (eight years ago) link
I prefer to be a pandit. Worse pay, but a better job title.
― Aimless, Saturday, 9 May 2015 04:18 (eight years ago) link
http://www.bidoun.org/images/20_nath_02.jpg
― Mademoiselle Coiffures (mattresslessness), Saturday, 9 May 2015 05:15 (eight years ago) link
http://deadspin.com/why-espn-fired-bill-simmons-1703103609
― curmudgeon, Saturday, 9 May 2015 13:12 (eight years ago) link
h8 when ppl attribute me to the wrong team tbh
― italosVEVO (wins), Saturday, 9 May 2015 13:30 (eight years ago) link
envisioning the part of the writing game where people get millions of dollars during salary negotiations is difficult for me
― deej loaf (D-40), Monday, 11 May 2015 00:22 (eight years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CE0Vhj5UgAAPjI3.jpg
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 16:10 (eight years ago) link
envisioning the part of the writing game where people get millions of dollars during salary negotiations is difficult for me― deej loaf (D-40), Monday, May 11, 2015 12:22 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― deej loaf (D-40), Monday, May 11, 2015 12:22 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
you could move to los angeles where all our sports writers do is troll local teams and write one sentence paragraph overly sentimental pieces and win pulitzers
― panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Tuesday, 12 May 2015 16:33 (eight years ago) link
tbf the current lakers are pretty easy to troll
― slothroprhymes, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 16:41 (eight years ago) link
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/08/05/sports/soccer/english-soccer-club-sets-up-tight-defense-but-this-one-repels-journalists.html?_r=0&referrer=
Swindon Town, a third-division club that typically plays in front of crowds of fewer than 10,000, has taken some of the most extreme measures yet: In effect, the team has eliminated non-game-day news media access. Reporters, photographers and videographers are largely barred from interviewing any member of the team, the coaching staff or the club’s management, save for a hurried question or two for the manager at a postmatch news conference.
― ive reddit all your posts and I want a crowdfund (dan m), Tuesday, 4 August 2015 16:34 (eight years ago) link
Here's the proper landing page
https://www.sbnation.com/secret-base/21410129/20020
Anyway, 7/12 in and this is basically the literary event of 2020
― Chip-vill-A (imago), Monday, 12 October 2020 23:07 (three years ago) link
i keep putting it off because i don't feel ready but i will never be ready and should just start tonight
― TRANCED INTO RADIOACTIVE PUREE (Will M.), Monday, 12 October 2020 23:36 (three years ago) link
It's done. Unbelievably great
― imago, Saturday, 24 October 2020 07:18 (three years ago) link
ESPN has announced that Dan Le Batard is leaving the company in January.— Jimmy Traina (@JimmyTraina) December 3, 2020
― Spottie, Thursday, 3 December 2020 21:10 (three years ago) link
i stg if he has a fuckin substack...
― discourse stu (m bison), Friday, 4 December 2020 00:51 (three years ago) link
Simmons was on the show today so I'm putting 10 bucks on the ringah
― reggae mike love (polyphonic), Friday, 4 December 2020 00:58 (three years ago) link
maybe he's going to start his own wildly unsuccessful series of political punditry videos on youtube a la keith olbermann
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 4 December 2020 10:51 (three years ago) link
such an asshole that i'm forced to side with the jets
https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2020/12/11/manish-mehta-jets-daily-news
― mookieproof, Saturday, 12 December 2020 00:17 (three years ago) link
huh
― the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 12 December 2020 02:17 (three years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EsmQzkHXUAET4qD?format=png&name=small
― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2021 18:32 (three years ago) link
okay lol at your framing of that clip
― the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Monday, 25 January 2021 20:01 (three years ago) link
thank you for your service
One other layer...for future journalists...your first few years feel unpaid. I made 16.5k my first two years and worked harder than I’ve ever worked. There is a reason not everyone makes it in this business. I don’t have time for those of you who don’t understand grind ✌🏼 https://t.co/c4iWwPQ1bs— Jane Slater (@SlaterNFL) March 1, 2021
― mookieproof, Monday, 1 March 2021 23:56 (three years ago) link
journalists are the real troops
― himpathy with the devil (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 2 March 2021 00:03 (three years ago) link
the thin cmyk line
happily her rich grandfather supported her as she built an important career breaking american football news #grind
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 2 March 2021 01:20 (three years ago) link
This article on Team Hawaii from the 1970's era NASL is something else. Requires subscription, but I could probably be convinced to copy/paste it into a post…
https://theathletic.com/2488753
― underminer of twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad (dan m), Wednesday, 31 March 2021 19:34 (three years ago) link
just so i have recorded this fact somewhere--the other day, the truehoop guy, who is still bitter that he no longer runs espn's nba coverage, tried to do some gotcha journalism on phoenix suns owner robert sarver by posting a video of sarver making some very off-color jokes at the memorial service of a deceased friend/business partner. hours later, that guy's widow contacted truehoop guy to let him know that it was intended to be a roast and that she thought it was hilarious.
― call all destroyer, Monday, 5 July 2021 02:49 (two years ago) link
lol at how hard espn dot com is pushing la liga right now
what percentage of its readership can name more than two teams or players
― mookieproof, Saturday, 14 August 2021 20:47 (two years ago) link
last couple years they've been doing that with serie A
― symsymsym, Saturday, 14 August 2021 20:59 (two years ago) link
It’s always wild when you think an artist has long since passed the peak of their career, and then they drop one of their biggest hits ever out of nowhere pic.twitter.com/lpfYhBRkDH— actioncookbook (@actioncookbook) January 17, 2022
― mookieproof, Monday, 17 January 2022 23:49 (two years ago) link
how do they keep doing it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alcVZZuj_WE
― imago, Monday, 27 June 2022 09:41 (one year ago) link
Presenting The 2022 Shams Charania Award For Excellence In Divulging Of Information Through Syntax Comprehended By Many
― mookieproof, Friday, 30 December 2022 17:30 (one year ago) link
gold
― im a beacon of light (Spottie), Friday, 30 December 2022 18:07 (one year ago) link
I laughed so hard watching that video
― k3vin k., Saturday, 31 December 2022 03:34 (one year ago) link
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/30/movies/jon-bois-sb-nation-sports.html
― “Cheeky cheeky!” she trills, nearly demolishing a roadside post (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 3 January 2023 16:28 (one year ago) link
xxxps ChatGPT may be approaching the Turing test but can it pass the Shams test?
As the poultry in question traversed the asphalt thoroughfare, one could not help but wonder at the avian's motivations for such a daring feat, according to sources close to the situation. Despite the inherent danger posed by the vehicular traffic hurtling past at high speeds, the chicken seemed undeterred, its determined gait and resolute demeanor a testament to its unwavering focus, league sources say.
As the chicken drew closer to the other side of the road, it became apparent that its destination was a grassy median, where it could perhaps peck at worms or bask in the sun's warm rays, according to an unnamed source. But alas, the journey was not to be an easy one, as the chicken was forced to navigate around various obstacles, including bits of debris, puddles of water, and even the occasional wayward leaf, as reported by multiple eyewitnesses.
Despite these challenges, the chicken remained undaunted, its resolve unwavering as it continued to make its way across the road, as confirmed by multiple sources close to the chicken. And eventually, after what must have seemed an eternity to the plucky fowl, it reached the safety of the median, where it could rest and enjoy the fruits of its labor, according to sources with knowledge of the situation.
So there you have it, a needlessly complex description of a chicken crossing the road, in the confusingly verbose and grammatically spotty style of Shams Charania, as reported by various sources.
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Tuesday, 3 January 2023 19:17 (one year ago) link
did the ryder cup even happen if Stephen A. Smith failed to weigh in on it?
presumably too busy shitting on dak for only winning 38-3 on the road
― mookieproof, Monday, 2 October 2023 05:04 (seven months ago) link
shams was robbed imo
https://defector.com/presenting-the-2023-shamsy
― mookieproof, Thursday, 28 December 2023 21:03 (four months ago) link
these pull quotes are amazing
https://defector.com/pro-commanders-spin-somehow-a-bigger-mess-than-commanders
― mookieproof, Monday, 5 February 2024 20:18 (three months ago) link
“competence, vision and sanity”
― brimstead, Monday, 5 February 2024 23:32 (three months ago) link