why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

"I just remembered that I have feet and lots of money lol imma go buy some shoes"

yep

http://i.imgur.com/uRMyU9z.jpg

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/iaCTdBqpIyU/hqdefault.jpg

"You see a hostile headless."

gite privilege

The ransom note pasting happening here...

http://i.imgur.com/QMara3A.jpg

If you actually understand these jokes and cannot wait to tell all your

other

Arkansas

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in

literally anywhere

initials at the bottom are DPJ. Maybe this is the work of an Arkansas-universe DJP?

oh, you mean famed ILXor HOWDY DERE?

Seriously, replace the word "chilly" with "warm" and you could completely turn that into an Iowa macro.

Only in Idaho - If you install security lights on your...
https://www.facebook.com/onlyinidaho/.../646158245434501?...
If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in Idaho .

Michigan - Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/WelcomeToMichigan/.../1015201496295383...
"If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Michigan." -Jeff Foxworthy.

Folks From Texas - Internet Forwards
www.pleacher.com/forwards/forwards/texas.html
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas; If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows ...

Read More - Rainy Lake Houseboats
www.rainylakehouseboats.com/newsletter/jan09newsletter3.html
If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, You might live in Minnesota. If you think of the major food groups as beer, fish, ...

Living in #Oregon... - DiasporaBR
https://diasporabr.com.br/posts/126618
If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Oregon. · If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during ...

CDN Currency - "If you install security lights on your house ...
khjones.tumblr.com/post/13486422787
"If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada." -J. Foxworthy.

HUMOR... Jeff Foxworthy on New Englanders Conversation - Growing ...
https://growingbolder.com/.../humor-jeff-foxworthy-on-new-214729.ht...
If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in New England. If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife ...

Missouri According to Jeff Foxworthy - Armsmart
www.armsmart.com/includes/emails/2014/Missouri.html
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Missouri. If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife ...

Newer - Kajara - Tumblr
kajara.tumblr.com/post/.../here-is-what-jeff-foxworthy-has-to-say-about
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Minnesota. If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife ...

Creative Broadcast Services Inc. - You Might be from ...
www.livewithjt.com/content/.../364-you-might-be-from-wisconsin-if.htm...
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Wisconsin. If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife ...

thank you for the laffs, oh arkansas

would you just look at all those states where women know how to use their jumper cables. next thing you know, they'll pumping their own gas too.

pretty sure it's about wisconsin

I doubt Foxworthy is doing routines about the Midwest

What's this nationwide epidemic of people wearing parkas and shorts about then?

pretty sure it originally said Portland, Maine

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20071203233349/simpsons/images/5/5a/Black.jpg

parkansas

The 55 speed limit, youre going 80, everyone is passing you is pretty spot on tbf

That's the only actually funny (a bit) one.

i love how videos autoplay with no audio cause i just watched this thing just started playing and i have no idea what's happening and it's hilarious

Yeah I said somewhere the other day that I like the autoplay vids, whiners are kinda whining imo

These began to circulate:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/21/quotes-banned-books_n_5759808.html

I want to make some of those with quotes from Naked Lunch

I just ate something that was half pumpkin pie and half pumpkin cake. Whatever it was, I thought it was top drawer.

http://i.imgflip.com/cgq0a.jpg

I just ate something that was half pumpkin pie and half pumpkin cake. Whatever it was, I thought it was top drawer.

― ILX preorders SPYRO for Playstation (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, September 25, 2014 10:18 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

shit, cat

https://scontent-a-vie.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash2/v/t1.0-9/942356_512736398800368_1961746112_n.jpg?oh=74eb097403b818a30209c27ddd47ef62&oe=5487B2DD

lol can't tell if it's intentional or not

is that hemlock or something?

I think that's a picture of the new Washed Out album.

What great advice! I plan to take about a dozen positive people hostage and use them as human shields.

atoms are surrounded by negativity

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/10500536_10152389576639086_7835691396839411170_n.jpg?oh=cc6adda5e951ed18b239f356ef9e941f&oe=54C1B170&__gda__=1421808421_caa68a292d921725ea3144e2b5a48f2c

is this real or just another made-up marley quote?

i've heard that cliche attributed to other things

those are the lyrics to buffalo soldier

heh, i literally typed just that and then erased it an hour ago

alert alert pumpkin spice oreos exist

also i made that buffalo soldier joke a year ago, knew it sounded familiar great minds think alike (mine)

Had a pumpkin spice hard cider yesterday and it was great.

you savage

nutmeg has its niche

my wife is always telling me to get on facebook. i say, if i wanted to give up my constitutional rights, i'd move to north korea!

but seriously, i'd bet if facebook closed down for one day, not only would american offices be more productive, we'd find the cure for cancer and solve the global financial crisis in one day!

i mean, i wonder how facebook employees kill time at work? i mean, what, are they all on myspace or something?

Please ladies and gentlemen, a warm round of applause for missing "Shecky" NO. He's here all week.

Also:
I had an apple juice with pumpkin spice vodka a few years ago and it was quite nice.

How long are you here for?

Please ladies and gentlemen germs

fixed

The comic says germs, the MC says gentlemen. And based on my history, I'll be here the rest of my life.

https://scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/1779970_733580726686928_1815861250_n.jpg?oh=9f2390359c491bdbb11450753bf83bc1&oe=54BF2EBF