Kids say the darndest things

ha i once came home from school in 1st or 2nd grade and told my parents "the bus driver is an asshole" not really knowing what that meant :-/

Alice has been known to bang her fist on the table and yell 'dammit!' but I strongly suspect her dad has been coaching her for his own amusement. Though come to think of it she's also started a thing of regularly shouting 'it's a deal!' and shaking hands with us. Clearly a future CEO :(

OK, heree goez:

In Venice, back at the flat, playing whist:

Mum: "Hearts!"
Alice: (Oh, fuMMMFTH)

The sound of Alice slapping her hand over her mouth, too late.
She got embarrassed, we just laffed. (She was 8)

Future son‘s latest thing is fighting to stay awake when he has something that he wants to do, then giving in immediately when he realizes he can’t do that thing.

Two days ago, we were driving home from an event, with plans to go play outside, when it started raining:
FS: It’s raining
Me: Yeah. I’m sorry, buddy. Looks like we won’t be able to play in the yard.
FS: Awww….snores

Last night:
Me (turning off TV): Well, it’s time to snuggie-down.
FS: But Scooby-Doo’s almost on.
Me: Sorry, buddy: it’s late.
FS (within 20 seconds): snores

Ava's two-part exploration of Bossness, with special reference to World Poverty.

Last night -
"Sometimes little children can be the boss. You get to be the boss sometimes, Daddy, but kids can be the boss too. Sit down over here next to me for a DISCUSSION."
Tonight -
"Some people don't ever get to be the boss. Some people don't have any food or clothes or medicine. They just cough."

LOL.

RS's co-worker's husband let their 4 year old watch Austin Powers last week after which said to her, "Mom, you're kind of a lot like fat bastard." !!!

We let ours (4 also) watch Gremlins a few weeks ago, after which he kept immitating the "flasher" Gremlin from the bar scene.

If you were thinking about letting your kids watch Gremlins, that's one of many things to note, along with Phoebe Cates breaking it down about the non-existence of Santa(this was during a boring grown-up part though, so I don't think he noticed).

Gremlins was one of those movies that pushed the MPAA over the edge to create a PG-13 rating.

yeah my kids so want to see gremlins but it ain't happening

re: PG-13, I always thought indiana jones and the temple of doom was the proverbial straw?

ha i once came home from school in 1st or 2nd grade and told my parents "the bus driver is an asshole" not really knowing what that meant :-/

― HHooHHHooHH-oob (harbl), Tuesday, March 17, 2009 6:53 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

a woman I work with once had this exchange with her 6 year old daughter as they were getting ready to go out

kid: where the fuck are my socks?
parent: WHAT?
kid: my SOCKS! where the fuck are my SOCKS!

lolz

Temple of Doom, Gremlins, POLTERGEIST (!!!!) were all PG movies that led to PG-13.

Beeps is getting to that age now where I'm starting to be more aware of what we're watching on TV. I was rocking her the other night and started watching "Summer of Sam". It starts with the sound of a dog barking and then moves on to show Berkowitz humping the mattress in his tighty-whities. Beeps is on her puppy kick right now, so became interested at the dog barking and by the time the scene cut to two girls sitting in a parked car, I decided that she was starting to soak a little too much in.

yeah my kids so want to see gremlins but it ain't happening

It was in the check-out line at the supermarket and it had a cute little fuzzy guy on the cover. I had no idea.

That might be a good thread idea -- "what would you warn new parents about that you learned the hard way?"

Yeah, sorry. This has gone a little off topic.

(Without wanting to prolong the thread digression any further - Poltergeist was actually an "X" in UK on release (and the US-equivalent "R" over there); the "15" category was introduced about a year later, and Poltergeist was reassigned to that. I think Poltergeist was downgraded to PG or PG-13 on appeal in the US. I have a very specific memory of this as 14-y-o me couldn't believe that I wasn't allowed to see the new Spielberg film!)

I saw Poltergeist at 8 years old, and couldn't do anything---anything---alone for almost a year. If I ever go to therapy, I'm sure Poltergeist will be a chief topic.

My kids, the oldest of whom is 8, is afraid of The Little Mermaid, so we won't make the same mistake my parents did.

more on topic: today my youngest (age 2) blathered something angrily at lunch that she punctuated with something that sounded like "dammit". My wife said, well, she knows how to use her "dangit". My daughter then blurted, "I didn't say dangit, I said dammit" and emphasized a few more times the "mmm" in "dammit" to make sure we understood her.

Great.

yeah I think I was 9 or 10 when I saw poltergeist which makes me think it must have been a G or M but my dad also took me to texas chainsaw massacre when i was a year or so younger and that was definitely rated R

(M in australia meaning anyone can get in but its recommended for 16(?) and over)

http://www.impawards.com/1982/posters/poltergeist.jpg

^^ With the PG Rating...

Wouldn't it just be something if we all watched Poltergeist again and realize that it wasn't really that bad?

btw that is a std strategy for dealing w/PTSD

just fyi

I was too scared to sit through Ghostbusters and made my mom leave the theater because I couldn't handle it. I've still never seen the whole thing. I should watch it now and get over the FEAR.

Don't do it, you'll never eat another marshmallow.

Sorry, still with the films but we watched Goonies the other day - and I would have sworn that there was nothing PG-13 (or 12 I think is the UK equivalent - kind of) about it but we're only a few minutes in and Child No.2 says "What did he say? Did he say shit? You're not supposed to say shit are you?"

The 11 year old thought it was the best "kids" film ever - it's even got willy jokes!

Wouldn't it just be something if we all watched Poltergeist again and realize that it wasn't really that bad?

Because i haven't watched that shit in over 20 years.

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, April 1, 2009 10:54 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

i dont know.. being scared of the new dunkin donuts ad is probably a good sign im not ready

I've watched Poltergeist a few times since 1982 and some of it's cheesy now, like the giant face popping out of the closet. But the build-up is still epically scary (the way those storm clouds roll in!); the meat/eroding face thing remains creepy; and the corpses in the swimming pool, yuck.

My daughter has already snuck in a few "dammit"s this morning, it looks like we're headed for trouble here, with the conservative mother-in-law coming to stay with us for a week starting tomorrow.

some of it's cheesy now, like the giant face popping out of the closet.

ok ok stfu please i'm not ready yet, oh god.

I will show mercy and not embed this image

http://www.thegreenhead.com/imgs/poltergeist-clown-3.jpg

oh shit I'd forgotten about the clown

My daughter has already snuck in a few "dammit"s this morning, it looks like we're headed for trouble here, with the conservative mother-in-law coming to stay with us for a week starting tomorrow.

yeah this is a major problem, you don't want to go "don't say that, never say that" cuz that guarantees she will say it whenever she wants to get a rise out of you

when my son was 3 or 4 we were in the bathroom, he was washing his hands and I was whizzing. he glanced over and casually remarked "nice big penis, dad."

things always look bigger when you're a child

yeah we laughed at it yesterday (big mistake) but ignored it this morning and so I'm hoping if we watch our mouths for a while we'll be ok long-term. She's still a mumbler so you have to pay attention to catch the cussing. We're in that hard transition between when you could say anything when the kid is around and figure it won't make a serious impression, to when everything seems to stick.

xpost hell yeah, I've been there too

My wife is about to give birth. Her C-section's scheduled for Monday, but honestly, she could go at any minute. So last night we were all driving home from somewhere and she was moaning about her discomfort and my six-year-old goes:

"I want to bleed beautiful blood! I want to be pregnant in pain!"

My six-year-old son. : )

haaaaaa

good luck btw!

Thank you. I was doing pretty well until yesterday, but now I am extremely stressed out. I would like to fast-forward a couple of days, seriously.

what's up, ugly girls?

Zac, myself and 3 yr old Julia went to an apple orchard the other day and picked from trees of several different varieties, so at some point one of us referred to the "Empire apples". as we soon found out, Julia apparently heard "VAMPIRE apples" !! and maybe it makes us bad parents, but so far we're way too amused to correct her.

Oh yeah, when they're that young and they make cute little mistakes like that, in most cases it's okay to let it slide for a while.

Howie (after a small accident the other day): "Mummy take off my trants and pousers!"

Listen, this thread totally slept on "optical course." I'm telling ya.

i once very cheerfully yelled to my pal "see you later, asshole!" as our parents were taking us home from preschool. my mom was not, uh, thrilled

― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Tuesday, March 17, 2009 9:54 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

^^^winner

haw I saw this thread bumped and wondered if I'd shared that here before.

2 yr old farted last night "hehehe i fahhted, do it again time"

lol

I'm enjoying Opal's poems.

thanks.

https://y.yarn.co/c4c95f9b-86f9-42bc-8319-95ccc3e7b392_text.gif

Whereas my 9yo managed to insult the whole of Wales when we were out walking in Cardiff (we live in England) - he saw a sign and said "Why does that sign look like a child typed random letters on a typewriter?" - he wasn't trying to be clever, I think it hadn't occurred to him what the Welsh language looks like, despite having a friend who speaks Welsh with his family...