shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

Something directly copied from someone I don't like or respect

shit that looks like a clickhole article but isn't:
http://mic.com/articles/106974/we-asked-men-to-draw-vaginas-to-prove-an-important-point

http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/08/kareem-abdul-jabbar-to-publish-a-novel-about-sherlock-holmess-brother-mycroft/

The mobile nytimes is a harsh mistress

KAJ's entire post-basketball career has just been people being surprised he has interests and talents besides basketball

This one quote felt so Onion-esque

"You know what it feels like when you don't have a good internet connection. Everything is buffering, you're trying to download a video, you got that little circle thing that goes round and around. It's really aggravating," Obama said.

http://www.theverge.com/2015/1/13/7541253/obama-wants-cheaper-broadband-in-the-us

Holy shit you guys dont seriously average 100+mbps in youtr contry and complain its SLOW, do you?

How about 1mbs? Or dialup/satellite speed? #fuckin3rdworlddesert

we invented the internet goddamnit, no one should be faster than US

lol as if that happens in the white house, xp

"Michelle, did you call Comcast?!"

I don't think we average 100mbps, fwiw. I pay extra for like 30mbps.

Yeah I was thinking it seemed a bit OTT

I've got 100Mbps FTTP in my apartment from a local ISP but they're doing like line-of-sight microwave to the Westin or something so it's kind of cheating, infrastructure-wise

Say no more!

"Testimony has covered everything from the assassinations of drug lords to the inner workings of the motorsport industry."

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nascar/2015/01/13/kurt-busch-ex-girlfriend-assassin-domestic-abuse/21693523/

Florida cops used black mugshots as target practice

http://news.sky.com/story/1409452/cops-used-black-mugshots-as-target-practice

http://whnt.com/2015/01/12/alice-program-arms-children-with-cans-books-to-fight-off-classroom-intruders/

wtf

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- Man rescued from burning house, taken to hospital

xp omg the stupidity

not onion per se but... something

"The Sundays Reveal Plans For New Music In Rare Interview With American Airlines’ Inflight Magazine"

http://www.stereogum.com/1677331/the-sundays-reveal-plans-for-new-music-in-rare-interview-with-american-airlines-inflight-magazine/news/

Five-year-old misses friend's birthday party and gets invoice for £15.95

not onion per se but... something

"The Sundays Reveal Plans For New Music In Rare Interview With American Airlines’ Inflight Magazine"

http://www.stereogum.com/1677331/the-sundays-reveal-plans-for-new-music-in-rare-interview-with-american-airlines-inflight-magazine/news/

― Jennifer 8.-( (Stevie D(eux)), Monday, January 19, 2015 12:55 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's kind of Spinal Tap

it really is!

Rapist blames ankle monitor for low self-esteem and social phobia

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B71AywxCEAAP2R4.png

http://pitchfork.com/news/58191-bob-dylan-giving-new-album-away-to-50000-aarp-magazine-subscribers/

Shit that looks like a Clickhole article, but isn't
http://www.vocativ.com/gallery/culture/photos/isis-japan-hostage-manga/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=japan&utm_campaign=jan1

McDonald's to Accept Selfies and Hugs as Payment

http://buff.ly/1yVxYId

end times man

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/jan/29/catty-sarah-palin-speech-inadvertently-raises-50k-hillary-clinton

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/02/gop-senator-let-restaurants-opt-out-of-handwashing-after-toilet-to-reduce-regulatory-burden/

I would actually be all for that rule if the restaurant opting out had to place large, visible signage all over its storefront, by its register, its tables, in the bathroom, etc. "EMPLOYEES NEED NOT WASH THEIR HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK."

Of course, the best retorts to his dumb argument I've heard is that it's actually no less burdensome a regulation to require signage than it is to require handwashing.

http://brotherhipster.com/2015/01/06/heres-why-selfie-sticks-arent-a-big-deal/

something abt the tone really reminds me of an Onion op-ed

https://meduza.io/en/news/2015/03/05/russia-s-only-gulag-memorial-is-redesigned-to-celebrate-the-gulag

Wow:

“Now Perm-36 will be a museum dedicated to the difficult and noble work of the Gulag’s valiant workers, and about the technologies they used to protect the great [Soviet] people from the fifth column and various Nazis from Ukraine.”

wow

solzhenitsyn is rolling in his grave

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B_1jlN3UIAALtAI.png

http://www.salon.com/2015/03/12/rudy_giuliani_i_wish_president_obama_were_more_like_bill_cosby

hooooooly shit

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-hot-sauce-seizure-met-20150313-story.html

Man credits hot sauce with saving his life.

http://i58.tinypic.com/bg75dv.png http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2399141-evander-holyfield-to-fight-mitt-romney-for-charity-event

i wonder if holyfield knows he'll be up against a robot. here's what happened to the last guy who tried to romney on

http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2015/03/18/lottery-loser-plans-to-keep-losing-at-lottery/

http://www.12newsnow.com/story/28566302/new-hampshire-students-hawk-bill-provokes-abortion-comment

Omg what

Haha, I just posted that on the American Right Wing thread!

http://judiciary.house.gov/index.cfm/2015/3/at-the-flick-of-a-switch/

shit that looks like a clickhole article but isn't

That lottery story is deeply sad.

that judiciary page is mindboggling

"Girl Dancing With 30 Hula Hoops Looks Like She's About to Get Teleported"

http://sploid.gizmodo.com/girl-dancing-with-30-hula-hoops-looks-like-shes-about-t-1628255133

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2015/03/23/voices/spare-thought-western-men-trapped-japan/#.VRew89qRUup