I think we're talking about more key things you can pick up on right away, like "does this person treat the wait staff of a restaurant like human beings"
― valleys of your mind (mh), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 20:23 (nine years ago) link
is being visibly terrified of everyone a swipe left or swipe right?
― example (crüt), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 20:24 (nine years ago) link
nb i don't know which direction is the positive one
kind of nervously swipe back and forth until the card flies off the screen
― valleys of your mind (mh), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 20:26 (nine years ago) link
― valleys of your mind (mh), Tuesday, December 16, 2014 8:23 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
i'm not sure how that is a key thing, unless you notice your date is treating them poorly. If they treatment them normally/politely, i wouldn't think the person is necessarily a better person. but yeah, this is part of what different people prioritise, i suppose.
in my experience, most people around me have not mistreated waiters, so it's hard to tell who they really were based on these general human interactions, where everyone kind of acts accordingly--i want to say basic human decency?
― ∞, Tuesday, 16 December 2014 20:30 (nine years ago) link
you have been lucky enough not to run into people who lack decency, then!
― valleys of your mind (mh), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 20:31 (nine years ago) link
also stuff like "does this person frequently make jokes at the expense of others" or "does this person get into heated arguments over petty things" -- does this person have a baseline level of personal integrity? no profile would be able to tell me that. i'd have to see it for myself.
― vigetable (La Lechera), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 20:31 (nine years ago) link
xp
yeah, i'm willing to concede to that, because i spent most of my life in a medium-sized city. huge cities tend to be pretty surreal to me, so yeah
― ∞, Tuesday, 16 December 2014 20:33 (nine years ago) link
LL otm, also people who talk over you in person or don't seem interested in engaging with what you're saying -- it's harder to fake that online.
I have no idea what size of the city has to do with it! I've seen people be jerks everywhere.
― valleys of your mind (mh), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 20:38 (nine years ago) link
― vigetable (La Lechera), Tuesday, December 16, 2014 9:31 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
While this is entirely true, one gets a sense of another person fairly quickly though right? Three or four emails back and forth, how the other person reacts, tells you loads no? I've not had a single bad experience with internet dating. And certainly no things like people acting rude in public or anything. Intuition and a general sense of the other person, even if only after a couple of letters, weeds out traits like this. At least it has done for me. (But then I haven't tried tinder and always write with someone for a week or two first)
― a pleasant little psychedelic detour in the elevator (Amory Blaine), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 20:52 (nine years ago) link
Three or four emails back and forth, how the other person reacts, tells you loads no? It tells you loads of stuff that they're willing to show you. Not the full picture by any stretch. I don't trust people easily though -- this is probably already abundantly clear.
― vigetable (La Lechera), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 21:00 (nine years ago) link
― example (crüt), Tuesday, December 16, 2014 3:24 PM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark
You found the girl from Pomplamoose on Tinder?
― 龜, Tuesday, 16 December 2014 21:16 (nine years ago) link
Three or four emails back and forth, how the other person reacts, tells you loads no?
It tells you loads of stuff that they're willing to show you. Not the full picture by any stretch. I don't trust people easily though -- this is probably already abundantly clear.
― vigetable (La Lechera), Tuesday, December 16, 2014 10:00 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Didn't want to be disrespectful LL, and am sorry if it came across that way. And I truly understand. The full story cannot be told in a couple of emails, I agree. No one can, we - the 'good ones', the ones not meaning harm - can't. My experience has been solely pleasant so far, even if it didn't work out in the end; the basics of mutual respect and kindness were always there. And I do believe I knew they would be, after having written or communicating for a couple of weeks. But not having gone through bad experiences myself, I realize I am easy to speak on this perhaps.
― a pleasant little psychedelic detour in the elevator (Amory Blaine), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 21:31 (nine years ago) link
we - the 'good ones', the ones not meaning harm
making a lot of assumptions here *purses lips*
― valleys of your mind (mh), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 22:06 (nine years ago) link
Yeah I know :)
― a pleasant little psychedelic detour in the elevator (Amory Blaine), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 22:32 (nine years ago) link
dating app required for ppl who dont like ppl
― local eire man (darraghmac), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 22:40 (nine years ago) link
http://gawker.com/tinder-is-dead-1683394434
― goole, Wednesday, 4 February 2015 20:41 (nine years ago) link
alternately,
http://domesticity.gawker.com/the-only-tinder-opening-line-you-need-1681214764
― goole, Wednesday, 4 February 2015 20:46 (nine years ago) link
Everything about dating is depressing
― 龜, Wednesday, 4 February 2015 20:47 (nine years ago) link
RIP
― markers, Wednesday, 4 February 2015 20:49 (nine years ago) link
for a while i was openning with just "nice"
it actually worked pretty well, a typical interaction would be
me: nicegirl: lolme: ;-)me: sup
and then it just took off from there. but then a super beautiful girl unmatched me first shot so i stopped
― flopson, Wednesday, 4 February 2015 20:54 (nine years ago) link
this guy 3v4n dub1n$ky, kind of a douchey but hilarious promoter from montreal has been writing articles for an online website thats kind of the pheonix that rose from the local alt-weekly's ashes, i only read the first one but it was pretty hilarious & on point. there's a whole series now
http://cultmontreal.com/2014/11/tinder-dates/
― flopson, Wednesday, 4 February 2015 20:56 (nine years ago) link
tinder seems skewed really young tho? i'm 23 and it makes me feel old
― flopson, Wednesday, 4 February 2015 21:11 (nine years ago) link
There's no good way to tell you this but... you're old
― 龜, Wednesday, 4 February 2015 21:16 (nine years ago) link
jesus flopson is still only 23, and that's still ancient
― mh, Wednesday, 4 February 2015 22:05 (nine years ago) link
yeah i am as much as 2 flopsons w/ a little powdered flopsons on top
― A Severus of Snapes (contenderizer), Wednesday, 4 February 2015 22:19 (nine years ago) link
age ain't nothin but a #old
― flopson, Wednesday, 4 February 2015 22:39 (nine years ago) link
just caught up with this thread, lots of good discussion all around.
my personal feeling/experience is that tinder/okc are obviously flawed and cant replicate irl interactions, but they've also helped me counter my flawed approach to meeting women irl.
i dated/hooked up with lots of women i would have never thought twice about talking to irl, either because sizing them up at a bar/party/etc just wouldn't have been likely do anything for me in the way of interest or attraction, or because i was too intimidated or would never be at a bar/party/etc with them in the first place.
its easy to assume that shopping for people based on carefully-groomed profiles is gross and makes you picky beyond reason, but the opposite has proven true for me more than once
― gr8080, Thursday, 5 February 2015 19:02 (nine years ago) link
gr80, your experiences and perspective are both insightful and inspirational. thanks.
― mh, Friday, 6 February 2015 01:11 (nine years ago) link
def agree about it making you consider people you otherwise wouldn't have
― flopson, Friday, 6 February 2015 01:25 (nine years ago) link
has anyone tried hinge?
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, 6 February 2015 21:16 (nine years ago) link
heard it was for swingers
― mattresslessness, Saturday, 7 February 2015 00:30 (nine years ago) link
lol
― harperlee jot shilly (wins), Saturday, 7 February 2015 00:34 (nine years ago) link
Haaaaaa
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Saturday, 7 February 2015 00:40 (nine years ago) link
loool
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Saturday, 7 February 2015 18:24 (nine years ago) link
Nice
― 龜, Saturday, 7 February 2015 21:08 (nine years ago) link
I feel way more comfortable chatting people up on OKC than Tinder. I've taken to using Tinder strictly as a delivery system for lil' ego bossts whenever I get a new match. just a collection of sexy, approving digital heads I never interact with
― Simon H., Sunday, 8 February 2015 01:21 (nine years ago) link
I'm trying this out and it's not really working because I reflexively swipe left 98% of the time. How do you decide, beyond attractiveness and type, you actually "like someone"? Or is it really just a matter of throwing caution to the wind and liking anyone you're attracted to, then contacting them to find out if they're actually interesting and not some right-wing douchebag or whatever?
― ed.b, Saturday, 23 May 2015 03:38 (eight years ago) link
lol, i also just realized my age on facebook is 77 (as opposed to 27). Might change that...
― ed.b, Saturday, 23 May 2015 03:49 (eight years ago) link
right wing douches r cool
― hunangarage, Saturday, 23 May 2015 03:55 (eight years ago) link
https://upload-assets.vice.com/files/2015/05/22/1432319107meattinderizer.gif
― sktsh, Saturday, 23 May 2015 12:04 (eight years ago) link
'beat your meat to Tinder' joek in 3... 2... 1...
― passive-aggressive rageaholic (snoball), Saturday, 23 May 2015 12:06 (eight years ago) link
fix yr age and throw caution to the wind
― gr8080, Saturday, 23 May 2015 13:11 (eight years ago) link
Yah just swipe right unless you're totally repulsed. They can turn you off, for real, in messages later
― ultimate american sock (mh), Saturday, 23 May 2015 13:19 (eight years ago) link
gr8080 have you/will you dispense yr Tinder opening message tipz itt?
― WE WANT FET WAP (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 27 May 2015 18:25 (eight years ago) link
I think that's a fine idea, Steve
― ultimate american sock (mh), Wednesday, 27 May 2015 19:21 (eight years ago) link
no.
― gr8080, Wednesday, 27 May 2015 20:03 (eight years ago) link
So I got this app last week and since then, I have apparently swiped ... Everybody? it says "there's no one new around you" :( Is that normal? I'm in the ~25th largest city in the US..
― Nobody ever knows anything. (sleepingbag), Thursday, 28 May 2015 01:04 (eight years ago) link
Closer to 20th biggest actually, just had to dbl check myself. I mean, I know there are a Lott more ppl in ny or Chicago, but.... One week of only moderately obsessive swiping and that's it?
― Nobody ever knows anything. (sleepingbag), Thursday, 28 May 2015 01:07 (eight years ago) link
now you just sit back and let the love roll in
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 28 May 2015 01:14 (eight years ago) link