"Fuck it, I'm off" vs stability: advice needed

I tried agian this afternoon and just got voice mail. FUCK. Term starts a week on Monday.

I'm on the first train to Oxford tomorrow morning. Any other ideas what to do?

I'd especially like advice on how to act rationally through all this.

OH FUCK THE LOT OF YOU

WE ARE NOT HERE TO SORT OUT YOUR LIFE

It's a good idea to go to Oxford as it is easier to sort out course changes in person. Hopefully you can find somewhere to stay that doesn't cost the earth. If not beg from your parents etc. This is not shameful but realistic.

And be patient. And polite. If you pretend to be rational then you will act rational.

Thanks Isadora.

(I'm not expecting people to help me sort out my life, I'm expecting them to be friendly)

Yes, but not everyone expresses friendship in the same way, and demanding that people speak to you just for the sake of speaking to you isn't looking friendship as much as it is being extraordinarily clingy. There was a lot of silence to your requests for advice; I took this to mean no one had any advice beyond that which was already given. You took it to mean that no one gave a fuck about you and then took a tack which, regardless of the scenario, is much more likely to push people into the category of not giving a fuck.

So, I guess my best advice is don't blow up at the people at Oxford if they can't help you out, as that will disincline them from taking heroic measures to help you. You've got to find a constructive way to vent your frustration (unfortunately, I don't know what that constructive way is).

Bursting in to tears in reception?

Only if you're dealing with women.

(Seriously. This was how people worked financial aid when I Was in college, and people who had opposite sex aid officers always got more money if they cried.)

I really got up at 6am today. Really.

I went to the Admissions Office first. They phoned people and been phoning and basically told me as they hadn't been dealing with it they couldn't do anything, and gave me phone numbers of the people they'd been trying to ring. But no sympathy.

So I found the Engineering department and harassed the secretary, and she said there wasn't anything she could do as Julia was away, as was the head of the course. I asked if they had mobile numbers and she said yes but she couldn't phone them when they were away. After a lot of pointing out how screwed I was, she went and found some guy, who was the head of Mechanical Engineering. He said Julia had been very busy preparing a report for him and seemed a bit guilty. He took my details and said everything looked good, but he couldn't do anything until he spoke to the Field Chair, who was away until Monday. There's no rooms in halls available, so next week is going to be very interesting.

Oh fuck, I just phoned them and got the "If you want to start next week, there isn't much time..." vagueness. I did get to speak to the actual course tutor, who hasn't previously known anything about my application. She said she still needed to speak to this Julia person before I got an answer. I really really should have asked what she wanted to know from her, so I could work out what her answer would be.

Would it be worth my while going to Oxford again tomorrow? That would give me an extra day to sort things out. I guess I should have asked her that.

Is it too late to ring her back, Graham? No wands to wave, unfortunately, but Oxford is a nice place (if you can ever get used to the crowds of people with Cameras that you have to barge through on your way to lectures if they're in the centre of town - I never did :o) ) Hope this works out for you. I've got my fingers crossed (and as a consequence, damn you, am finding it very hard to type).

You knopw that wall of silence that they sadi went up after those girls were shot. I'm finding out exactly what they meant. God I wish I'd gone to Oxford today.

ouch!

I never realised you were going to try and change between semesters. I thought you were going to take a break till september and try something else. Good Luck.