New Beckett play

If you search "Beckett play" on ilx you get 20-odd results only one of which is from a discussion of Samuel Beckett, all the rest are people making this joke

LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
I'm glad to see you back. I thought you were gone forever.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Me too.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Together again at last! We'll have to celebrate this. But how? (He reflects.) Get up till I embrace you.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
(irritably). Not now, not now.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
(hurt, coldly). May one inquire where His Highness spent the night?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
In a ditch.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
(admiringly). A ditch! Where?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
(without gesture). Over there.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
And they didn't beat you?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Beat me? Certainly they beat me.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
The same lot as usual?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
The same? I don't know.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
When I think of it . . . all these years . . . but for me . . . where would you be . . . (Decisively.) You'd be nothing more than a little heap of bones at the present minute, no doubt about it.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
And what of it?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
(gloomily). It's too much for one man. (Pause. Cheerfully.) On the other hand what's the good of losing heart now, that's what I say. We should have thought of it a million years ago, in the nineties.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Ah stop blathering and help me off with this bloody thing.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Hand in hand from the top of the Eiffel Tower, among the first. We were respectable in those days. Now it's too late. They wouldn't even let us up. (MILADY PINKPANTHER tears at his boot.) What are you doing?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Taking off my boot. Did that never happen to you?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Boots must be taken off every day, I'm tired telling you that. Why don't you listen to me?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
(feebly). Help me!
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
It hurts?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
(angrily). Hurts! He wants to know if it hurts!
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
(angrily). No one ever suffers but you. I don't count. I'd like to hear what you'd say if you had what I have.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
It hurts?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
(angrily). Hurts! He wants to know if it hurts!
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
(pointing). You might button it all the same.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
(stooping). True. (He buttons his fly.) Never neglect the little things of life.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
What do you expect, you always wait till the last moment.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
(musingly). The last moment . . . (He meditates.) Hope deferred maketh the something sick, who said that?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Why don't you help me?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Sometimes I feel it coming all the same. Then I go all queer. (He takes off his hat, peers inside it, feels about inside it, shakes it, puts it on again.) How shall I say? Relieved and at the same time . . . (he searches for the word) . . . appalled. (With emphasis.) AP-PALLED. (He takes off his hat again, peers inside it.) Funny. (He knocks on the crown as though to dislodge a foreign body, peers into it again, puts it on again.) Nothing to be done. (MILADY PINKPANTHER with a supreme effort succeeds in pulling off his boot. He peers inside it, feels about inside it, turns it upside down, shakes it, looks on the ground to see if anything has fallen out, finds nothing, feels inside it again, staring sightlessly before him.) Well?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Nothing.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Show me.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
There's nothing to show.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Try and put it on again.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
(examining his foot). I'll air it for a bit.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
There's man all over for you, blaming on his boots the faults of his feet. (He takes off his hat again, peers inside it, feels about inside it, knocks on the crown, blows into it, puts it on again.) This is getting alarming. (Silence. LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS deep in thought, MILADY PINKPANTHER pulling at his toes.) One of the thieves was saved. (Pause.) It's a reasonable percentage. (Pause.) Gogo.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
What?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Suppose we repented.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Repented what?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Oh . . . (He reflects.) We wouldn't have to go into the details.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Our being born?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS breaks into a hearty laugh which he immediately stifles, his hand pressed to his pubis, his face contorted.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
One daren't even laugh any more.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Dreadful privation.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Merely smile. (He smiles suddenly from ear to ear, keeps smiling, ceases as suddenly.) It's not the same thing. Nothing to be done. (Pause.) Gogo.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
(irritably). What is it?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Did you ever read the Bible?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
The Bible . . . (He reflects.) I must have taken a look at it.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Do you remember the Gospels?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
I remember the maps of the Holy Land. Coloured they were. Very pretty. The Dead Sea was pale blue. The very look of it made me thirsty. That's where we'll go, I used to say, that's where we'll go for our honeymoon. We'll swim. We'll be happy.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
You should have been a poet.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
I was. (Gesture towards his rags.) Isn't that obvious?
Silence.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Where was I . . . How's your foot?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Swelling visibly.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Ah yes, the two thieves. Do you remember the story?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
No.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Shall I tell it to you?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
No.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
It'll pass the time. (Pause.) Two thieves, crucified at the same time as our Saviour. One—
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Our what?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Our Saviour. Two thieves. One is supposed to have been saved and the other . . . (he searches for the contrary of saved) . . . damned.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Saved from what?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Hell.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
I'm going.
He does not move.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
And yet . . . (pause) . . . how is it –this is not boring you I hope– how is it that of the four Evangelists only one speaks of a thief being saved. The four of them were there –or thereabouts– and only one speaks of a thief being saved. (Pause.) Come on, Gogo, return the ball, can't you, once in a way?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
(with exaggerated enthusiasm). I find this really most extraordinarily interesting.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
One out of four. Of the other three, two don't mention any thieves at all and the third says that both of them abused him.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Who?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
What?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
What's all this about? Abused who?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
The Saviour.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Why?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Because he wouldn't save them.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
From hell?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Imbecile! From death.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
I thought you said hell.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
From death, from death.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Well what of it?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Then the two of them must have been damned.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
And why not?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
But one of the four says that one of the two was saved.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Well? They don't agree and that's all there is to it.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
But all four were there. And only one speaks of a thief being saved. Why believe him rather than the others?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Who believes him?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Everybody. It's the only version they know.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
People are bloody ignorant apes.
He rises painfully, goes limping to extreme left, halts, gazes into distance off with his hand screening his eyes, turns, goes to extreme right, gazes into distance. LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS watches him, then goes and picks up the boot, peers into it, drops it hastily.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Pah!
He spits. MILADY PINKPANTHER moves to center, halts with his back to auditorium.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Charming spot. (He turns, advances to front, halts facing auditorium.) Inspiring prospects. (He turns to LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS.) Let's go.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
We can't.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Why not?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
We're waiting for Godot.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
(despairingly). Ah! (Pause.) You're sure it was here?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
What?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
That we were to wait.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
He said by the tree. (They look at the tree.) Do you see any others?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
What is it?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
I don't know. A willow.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Where are the leaves?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:

It must be dead.

MILADY PINKPANTHER:
No more weeping.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Or perhaps it's not the season.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Looks to me more like a bush.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
A shrub.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
A bush.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
A—. What are you insinuating? That we've come to the wrong place?
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
He should be here.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
He didn't say for sure he'd come.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
And if he doesn't come?
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
We'll come back tomorrow.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
And then the day after tomorrow.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
Possibly.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
And so on.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
The point is—
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
Until he comes.
LORD RAGGETT OF NEDNESS:
You're merciless.
MILADY PINKPANTHER:
We came here yesterday.

^^^amazingly, not from legendary momus thread 'the tragedie of michael jackson, king of pop'

However, scores of Twitter users expressed disbelief that he had received the honour, flooding the social network with criticisms of the decision. Here are just 37 of them.

Comment is free
Tower Hamlets psycho: a symbol of Britain’s housing crisis
Nell Frizzell

Nell Frizzell is a freelance journalist who has
contributed to Guardian music, the Observer, Little White Lies, NME and is assistant editor at IdeasTap.com

Ron Ulrich ‏@RonUlrich11 15h

Weltklasse! Zwei Bodybuilder diskutieren heftig darüber, wie viele Tage eine Woche hat. www.deathandtaxesmag.com/233107/two-body-builders-argue-on-the-internet-about-how-many-days-are-in-the-week/ …

The Revengerists! ‏@TheRevengerists

Today body builders argue about how many days are in a week. If trends continue they'll be on unified field theory by Christmas.

8:20 AM - 7 Feb 2015

https://soundcloud.com/dazedandconfused/lee-gamble-decayed-mini-mix

freekeyz says at 18:04:

beckett in sound sculpture

lmao

fucking ban him, anyone

landfill di tutti landfill

yh I suppose you just have to wait for it to get all preciously irked at some perceived or actual slight and head off to facebook

I am very content with my size. some girls have complained I hurt them because I was so big.

I also have shown my penis to a live audience (have to love live theatre). granted it was for 4 seconds...

― Where's Mexican Waldo? (Cattle Grind), Sunday, 21 March 2010 14:10 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I am very content with my size. some girls have complained I hurt them because I was so big.

Surely these two sentences don't tally unless you are a sadist?

― emil.y, Sunday, 21 March 2010 14:27 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol, I didn't word that so well. I wasn't happy to hurt them, no, and they got used to it and enjoyed it. these comments were usually made after the first time we had relations where they may not have known of my Italian descent prior.

― Where's Mexican Waldo? (Cattle Grind), Sunday, 21 March 2010 14:30 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

that figured in your choice of mots justes above didn't it

Dear T*** (my ex-ex),

It is unfair that even though it's now been 1 year and 3 months since we broke up, I still miss you a lot, and that you seem to get more attractive as time goes on. Also it sucks that today is the two year anniversary of our Valentine's Day dinner at C@rmela's, the first of many Italian restaurants we visited together.

So pathetic is it that I think of you more now than my most recent ex, and can't find excuses to hate you anymore like I used to be able to.

*sigh*

Yours truly,

R0b

― furious styles p diddy kong (San Te), Friday, 11 February 2011 04:34 (4 years ago)

It's cute, because you try so hard.

― John Justen, Saturday, 12 January 2008 14:51 (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's cute that you're a pseudo-intellectual wank. get AIDS and die.

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Saturday, 12 January 2008 14:52 (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://twitter.com/I_Say_Now_Chaps/status/587973170038231040

hope the convicted wifebeater loses

― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Sunday, 3 May 2015 04:55 (8 hours ago)

I can’t stop thinking about this film. Gimmicky, maybe, but brutally confident and powerful, and encased in its own miasma of strangeness. The Tribe is by the 41-year-old Ukrainian writer-director Miroslav Slaboshpitsky. It was first aired at last year’s Cannes, and then at the London film festival, where its avant-garde reputation went before it, and audiences assembled in the spirit of those attending the performance of an undiscovered text by Samuel Beckett, or a new classical stage production by Tim Supple

https://twitter.com/theemptypage_/status/646419416444469248

two bodybuilders argue who was more dope, Simba or Cecil (lion)

any day now...

― flappy bird, Monday, 12 October 2015 19:29 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I sure hope so.

― austinato (Austin), Monday, 12 October 2015 20:42 (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i have a feeling it's gonna drop sometime this week

― j. winters (josh), Monday, 12 October 2015 21:20 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://www.businessinsider.com.au/why-everyones-laughing-at-yahoos-review-of-rihannas-new-album-2015-11

So wait this was a real fuckup? Not a sarcastic commentary on the state of music journalism?

― moans and feedback (Dinsdale), Friday, November 27, 2015 12:47 PM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's now like /Waiting For Godot 2015: The Tiger Crew Conundrum/

Rob Francis ‏@rob_francis 23m23 minutes ago

Here @SpenceLivermore says that Labour isn't learning from its mistakes.
http://www.progressonline.org.uk/2016/04/18/mistakes-on-repeat/ …
2 retweets 2 likes
Rob Francis ‏@rob_francis 22m22 minutes ago

There really isn't much new here. I've seen many articles like this; hell, I've written some like it. I find it self-evidently true.
0 retweets 1 like
Rob Francis ‏@rob_francis 21m21 minutes ago

What is frustrating is that there just aren't enough members who are yet prepared to make the compromises, the hard calls necessary.
0 retweets 2 likes
Rob Francis ‏@rob_francis 20m20 minutes ago

That's the problem, right there. We are going to lose if we keep on like this. Nobody will be able to say they weren't warned. Repeatedly.
0 retweets 1 like
Rob Francis ‏@rob_francis 19m19 minutes ago

Once you strip everything away, the party is insufficiently focused on winning. And that sucks for those who see the warning signs flashing.
0 retweets 1 like
Rob Francis ‏@rob_francis 18m18 minutes ago

A Labour government could do so much good. But there won't be one if we carry on like this. Which is really depressing. Huff.
0 retweets 1 like

Rob Francis
‏@rob_francis

Ah well. To cheer everyone up, here's a thread where people argue about how many days there are in 2 weeks
https://t.co/Y9NeoObkdU

Cory Booker should go to Wall Street, find an empty office, lock himself in it, and die.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, May 6, 2016 9:24 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that was a good beckett play

― wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, May 6, 2016 9:26 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

http://i.imgur.com/APlmqBy.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/APlmqBy.gif

*clink* *clink*
that's the sound of the puh-lease! that's the sound of amateurist!

https://media.giphy.com/media/iLab0CR7PreJG/giphy.gifhttps://media.giphy.com/media/iLab0CR7PreJG/giphy.gif

is that a dig?

Beckett could've written a great play about the misfortunes and soliloquys of that man Cron.

― Le Bateau Ivre, Saturday, 18 June 2016 21:42 (7 minutes ago)

https://twitter.com/DavidAllenGreen/status/746663908870586368

It was like something from Beckett.

― They could have been Stackridge. (Tom D.), Thursday, June 30, 2016 6:41 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://www.bestplaces.net/images/city/3404400_NJ_Beckett.png

In 2009, Pozzo purchased Spanish club Granada CF. selling it on the 16 June 2016 to a Chinese Businessman.

― r|t|c, Friday, July 1, 2016 11:57 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

wonder what nakhers makes of the self-styled 'jack of kent'