shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

it really is!

Rapist blames ankle monitor for low self-esteem and social phobia

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B71AywxCEAAP2R4.png

http://pitchfork.com/news/58191-bob-dylan-giving-new-album-away-to-50000-aarp-magazine-subscribers/

Shit that looks like a Clickhole article, but isn't
http://www.vocativ.com/gallery/culture/photos/isis-japan-hostage-manga/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=japan&utm_campaign=jan1

McDonald's to Accept Selfies and Hugs as Payment

http://buff.ly/1yVxYId

end times man

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/jan/29/catty-sarah-palin-speech-inadvertently-raises-50k-hillary-clinton

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/02/gop-senator-let-restaurants-opt-out-of-handwashing-after-toilet-to-reduce-regulatory-burden/

I would actually be all for that rule if the restaurant opting out had to place large, visible signage all over its storefront, by its register, its tables, in the bathroom, etc. "EMPLOYEES NEED NOT WASH THEIR HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK."

Of course, the best retorts to his dumb argument I've heard is that it's actually no less burdensome a regulation to require signage than it is to require handwashing.

http://brotherhipster.com/2015/01/06/heres-why-selfie-sticks-arent-a-big-deal/

something abt the tone really reminds me of an Onion op-ed

https://meduza.io/en/news/2015/03/05/russia-s-only-gulag-memorial-is-redesigned-to-celebrate-the-gulag

Wow:

“Now Perm-36 will be a museum dedicated to the difficult and noble work of the Gulag’s valiant workers, and about the technologies they used to protect the great [Soviet] people from the fifth column and various Nazis from Ukraine.”

wow

solzhenitsyn is rolling in his grave

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B_1jlN3UIAALtAI.png

http://www.salon.com/2015/03/12/rudy_giuliani_i_wish_president_obama_were_more_like_bill_cosby

hooooooly shit

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-hot-sauce-seizure-met-20150313-story.html

Man credits hot sauce with saving his life.

http://i58.tinypic.com/bg75dv.png http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2399141-evander-holyfield-to-fight-mitt-romney-for-charity-event

i wonder if holyfield knows he'll be up against a robot. here's what happened to the last guy who tried to romney on

http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2015/03/18/lottery-loser-plans-to-keep-losing-at-lottery/

http://www.12newsnow.com/story/28566302/new-hampshire-students-hawk-bill-provokes-abortion-comment

Omg what

Haha, I just posted that on the American Right Wing thread!

http://judiciary.house.gov/index.cfm/2015/3/at-the-flick-of-a-switch/

shit that looks like a clickhole article but isn't

That lottery story is deeply sad.

that judiciary page is mindboggling

"Girl Dancing With 30 Hula Hoops Looks Like She's About to Get Teleported"

http://sploid.gizmodo.com/girl-dancing-with-30-hula-hoops-looks-like-shes-about-t-1628255133

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2015/03/23/voices/spare-thought-western-men-trapped-japan/#.VRew89qRUup

http://i.imgur.com/OQZfsL8.png

thinkin baout things

read that as LOLCAL GARDOVA

http://nypost.com/2015/02/12/i-dont-regret-my-office-romance-and-neither-should-you/

"TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS AFTER SAYING “I DO,’’ I STILL THINK THAT MY HUSBAND IS THE CUTEST THING IN PANTS."

cheesy as fuck, but not onion level parody

http://ww2.kqed.org/news/2015/04/02/new-luxury-bus-lines-roll-into-san-francisco

“When I work late and I can’t take the express bus home — how do I say this — it’s uncomfortable the amount of passengers and the type of passengers. Sometimes I don’t feel safe,” Schiermeyer says.

https://vimeo.com/122275278

“I get triggered when I think about all of the people who don’t have access to Leap.”
Ilyse Magy, San Francisco Transit Riders Union

alol

http://www.hopesandfears.com/hopes/future/science/168959-mysterious-deep-space-signals-revealed-to-be-rogue-microwave-ovens

amazing

http://fusion.net/story/118657/the-worlds-first-hologram-protest-held-in-spain/

Kelley Paul says husband Rand Paul not a sexist

http://www.indyweek.com/indyweek/what-its-like-to-be-a-grown-man-whose-favorite-band-is-three-women/Content?oid=4374935

jesus motherfucking christ

couldn't scroll past the photo

But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male.

A balding ranga no less.

Stephen Hawking tells fans Zayn Malik could still be in a parallel One Direction

http://gu.com/p/47pth

http://thoughtcatalog.com/sarah-larson/2014/01/i-think-people-without-kids-have-empty-lives-and-im-not-sorry-about-it/

I Think People Without Kids Have Empty Lives And I’m Not Sorry About It
Sarah Larson
1764 Comments

lol