sports and/or sport writing

SHERMAN

http://deadspin.com/how-jason-whitlock-is-poisoning-espns-black-grantland-1698683962

wau

dang

i feel like the inevitable revival of deflategate takes is gonna provide some quality mockery/hateread material for this thread

havent seen anything yet but it's gotta only be a matter of time. simmdog has to be typing fuckin furiously about this

http://deadspin.com/the-ballghazi-takes-are-back-and-they-are-more-insane-1702819519

i'm dying at this one:

During the investigation and answering questions from the media, Brady denied tampering with footballs or having any knowledge of those who did. However, he declined to make his text messages and emails available to NFL investigators.

Why, Tom?

Why?

You know why.

I know why.

The NFL knows why.

Because Brady cheated, that’s why.

Just like A-Rod.

Just like Barry Bonds.

Just like Lance Armstrong.

Another one of our nation’s most beloved sports heroes – a true Patriot – has flushed his integrity down the toilet.

Bye, bye, Mr. American Pie.

the "Why, Tom?" part is the killer

Tom "AP" Brady

http://i.imgur.com/ey3cI9g.png

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CEbc2npVAAA5kY4.jpg:medium

ugh slothrop, I shoulda recognized the Bye Bye Mr. American Pie one. that's our local columnist Mike Bianchi, who has been an embarrassment for as long as I can remember because he's held the post since I was a child.

I used to write him emails frequently to complain about his most recent horrible analogy, his penchant for hyperbole, or his reactionary writing style (as evidenced with the example above). He's famous mostly for hopping on whatever bandwagon issue crops up and taking a personal stand that often greatly exceeds the scope of whatever the transgression was to begin with.

fucking hate that guy.

the column he wrote the day after Earnhardt died was insufferable. He even had a special modified avatar of his face added to the column, which was usually adorned with his cheesy smiling face....only this time he used a deliberately concocted "sad" face instead. one that wouldn't have been believed in children's theatre, mind you.

i think Jemele Hill is the only person from our local paper who went on to have a solid career.

yeah that whole thing makes shaughnessy seem restrained. this dude seems like a demon of cheesy shitty banality

the other local sportswriter used to call him an idiot on their televised appearances all the time. Bianchi's only retort was usually "you're fat"

Sports writing is and always will be terrible, because sports contests are extremely rule-bound and essentially near duplicates of one another in everything but the outcome of each contest. All the possible stories have been written hundreds of thousands of times. Consequently, sports writers are stuck in horrible dead end jobs they often become wretched unhappy people.

so for sportswriting to get better, out with the rules?

Or, someone could write and AI program to replace sports writers.

already done
http://automatedinsights.com/sports/

lol yeah Yahoo uses it for Fantasy football

it would occasionally do things like attribute wins to the wrong team or call teams by the wrong name tho

that bye bye american pie abortion of a paragraph is like aspiring to be plaschke and it makes me die a little inside

that's a masterwork compared to some of of the shit he writes about sports he barely knows

aimless clearly has what it takes to be a (sports or non-) pundit

I prefer to be a pandit. Worse pay, but a better job title.

http://www.bidoun.org/images/20_nath_02.jpg

http://deadspin.com/why-espn-fired-bill-simmons-1703103609

h8 when ppl attribute me to the wrong team tbh

envisioning the part of the writing game where people get millions of dollars during salary negotiations is difficult for me

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CE0Vhj5UgAAPjI3.jpg

envisioning the part of the writing game where people get millions of dollars during salary negotiations is difficult for me

― deej loaf (D-40), Monday, May 11, 2015 12:22 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you could move to los angeles where all our sports writers do is troll local teams and write one sentence paragraph overly sentimental pieces and win pulitzers

tbf the current lakers are pretty easy to troll

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/08/05/sports/soccer/english-soccer-club-sets-up-tight-defense-but-this-one-repels-journalists.html?_r=0&referrer=

Swindon Town, a third-division club that typically plays in front of crowds of fewer than 10,000, has taken some of the most extreme measures yet: In effect, the team has eliminated non-game-day news media access. Reporters, photographers and videographers are largely barred from interviewing any member of the team, the coaching staff or the club’s management, save for a hurried question or two for the manager at a postmatch news conference.

@WhitlockJason
Tell Greg Howard that Craggs and Marchman ghostwriting his stuff and rewriting Ta Coates talking points won't save his ass #daddyshome

smdh

http://j.school/post/131134873540/the-explanation-20-still-undefeated

rip grantland

that sucks. love zach lowe, esp his podcasts, and some of their soccer stuff was p good, and a couple of outstanding tennis features as well iirc

http://jeffbradleyblog.blogspot.com/2015/11/a-little-ditty-about-out-of-work.html

Interesting take on being out of work/underemployed. Guy is the brother of former USA National team coach Bob Bradley.

I would tell you that - not gonna be humble here - my writing was really good. I will also tell you that my other skills - live tweeting, posting random photos of things in the stadium, in the press box - were really bad.

it's a new world

in which michael wilbon and tony kornheiser hold forth on sportswriting

http://povichcenter.org/povichsymposium10

https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3073/2767638386_d8efc6fb1f.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CadY6_DVIAAjzme.jpg:large

bomani jones was tweeting out excerpts of her cam piece all morning, truly vomitous bullshit

impressive that espn has found room, amidst their coverage of how the 2011 nfl draft *should* have gone, to cover pro wrestling with a straight face

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CuvR8NmXgAAq0u_.jpg:small

@darrenrovell
Fastest way to a job today is to provide a team, a player, an agency, great work unsolicited and for free. Great way to be noticed.

bloodbath at espn

ed werder looks like biggest name so far

pretty much everyone who covered hockey is gone, which i guess shouldn't be a surprise

just so i have recorded this fact somewhere--the other day, the truehoop guy, who is still bitter that he no longer runs espn's nba coverage, tried to do some gotcha journalism on phoenix suns owner robert sarver by posting a video of sarver making some very off-color jokes at the memorial service of a deceased friend/business partner. hours later, that guy's widow contacted truehoop guy to let him know that it was intended to be a roast and that she thought it was hilarious.

lol at how hard espn dot com is pushing la liga right now

what percentage of its readership can name more than two teams or players

last couple years they've been doing that with serie A

It’s always wild when you think an artist has long since passed the peak of their career, and then they drop one of their biggest hits ever out of nowhere pic.twitter.com/lpfYhBRkDH

— actioncookbook (@actioncookbook) January 17, 2022

how do they keep doing it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alcVZZuj_WE

Presenting The 2022 Shams Charania Award For Excellence In Divulging Of Information Through Syntax Comprehended By Many

gold

I laughed so hard watching that video

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/30/movies/jon-bois-sb-nation-sports.html

xxxps ChatGPT may be approaching the Turing test but can it pass the Shams test?

As the poultry in question traversed the asphalt thoroughfare, one could not help but wonder at the avian's motivations for such a daring feat, according to sources close to the situation. Despite the inherent danger posed by the vehicular traffic hurtling past at high speeds, the chicken seemed undeterred, its determined gait and resolute demeanor a testament to its unwavering focus, league sources say.

As the chicken drew closer to the other side of the road, it became apparent that its destination was a grassy median, where it could perhaps peck at worms or bask in the sun's warm rays, according to an unnamed source. But alas, the journey was not to be an easy one, as the chicken was forced to navigate around various obstacles, including bits of debris, puddles of water, and even the occasional wayward leaf, as reported by multiple eyewitnesses.

Despite these challenges, the chicken remained undaunted, its resolve unwavering as it continued to make its way across the road, as confirmed by multiple sources close to the chicken. And eventually, after what must have seemed an eternity to the plucky fowl, it reached the safety of the median, where it could rest and enjoy the fruits of its labor, according to sources with knowledge of the situation.

So there you have it, a needlessly complex description of a chicken crossing the road, in the confusingly verbose and grammatically spotty style of Shams Charania, as reported by various sources.

did the ryder cup even happen if Stephen A. Smith failed to weigh in on it?

presumably too busy shitting on dak for only winning 38-3 on the road

shams was robbed imo

https://defector.com/presenting-the-2023-shamsy

these pull quotes are amazing

https://defector.com/pro-commanders-spin-somehow-a-bigger-mess-than-commanders

“competence, vision and sanity”