This is the thread where we judge other people's parenting

Everything is harder when you haven't gotten enough sleep for a year or two.

i know! that's what i'm saying -- i am trying to understand how maybe there is a relationship between sleep deprivation and the tendency to judge/feel judged. it just bums me out because i know people aren't being as harsh on my friends as they think people are being but my friends are so tired and worn out that i think they just slide into feeling blue. it bums me out on their behalf. this is why i asked.

i was wondering if anyone thinks there's a connection between sleep deprivation and vocal judgment of other people's parenting?

just to be clear - are you referring to parenting-related sleep deprivation?

or just regular old garden variety sleep deprivation

IDC about other people, parents or not, judging me. But I do judge other parents all the time, but mostly in silence.

^^^this

bear in mind I started this thread in the spirit of comedy, I don't really go around yelling at people about their shitty parenting. and we're all very supportive of each other here ime

the former

Maybe you're more likely to discuss what other parents you know do vs what you do and compare, and sometimes that gets judgey. At the same time I'm much more sympathetic when I see a random parent having trouble with their child in the street or something.

and my friends i'm referring to are not on ilx
i just get bits and pieces of these difficulties from them periodically

Maybe you're more likely to discuss what other parents you know do vs what you do and compare, and sometimes that gets judgey.
this, basically
and what i'm wondering, just idly and without malice, is whether sleep deprivation makes ppl extra sensitive about this
and the answer is probably yes but i wanted to see what you guys thought out of curiosity

I have no idea really, I'm going on 2 1/2+ years of constant sleep deprivation myself

if people do judge my parenting I'm not really aware of it and if I was well hey fuck them what do I care

that's easier for some people to say than others, ime -- and this is why i brought it up
i did not expect my friends to be so fragile, but sleep deprivation makes some people mean and some people fragile
no?

I'm sure it affects different people differently, mostly it just makes me out of it

LL I feel like you are talking around a specific bad experience

maybe
i don't know, and that's why i asked!

no I mean it just sounds like you were recently hanging out with some specific parent friends who freaked out about something and kind of shocked you and you're wondering if it's normal, ha

maybe
i wish we were hanging out
it was just via email/text (they're my college friends, only one of them is local)

The family of a six-year-old US boy staged his mock kidnapping because they thought he was too nice to strangers, Missouri police say.

dear god

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/f4/f47db4327d68f7bc38f0feab94c9632177ff2ecf4a31ee6836c1f86096aecc0a.jpg

Bike-helmeted dad riding a bike down a busy street while carrying your (unhelmeted) toddler in one arm: i judge you

I get IA about kids and parents biking where the kid is wearing a helmet and the parent is not. I mean, I don't care if anyone wears a helmet or not, just goddamn match, especially if you are forcing your kid to wear one.

eh I've witnessed too many bike accidents in this city - every time I see someone on a bike without a helmet I instantly think they are morons, but protecting yourself while endangering your kid is next level

I generally can't take seeing a little kid on the back of a bike in a busy urban area. When I consider what a high percentage of my friends who bike regularly in the city have been in at least one accident, it just seems like an unacceptable risk to me.

kid wasn't even on the back, dad was literally cradling him in one arm while steering the bike with the other. In the middle of rush hour traffic on a busy 4-lane street!

A-ok with your judging there.

I see kids balanced on handlebars or--on one notable occasion, sitting between Dad's arms on the top tube?--pretty normally. At first it seemed absolutely crazy, but I think it's just an offshoot of using bikes to get around. You don't have other transpo but you do have a bike? There you go.

Tbh I find it freakier when parents have their kids on the back in carriers. I'm sure I'm wrong and the data won't bear me out, but it seems like you could do more for your kid if they were right there in your arms than strapped into the back of the bike if it goes flying.

NB ianap

Kinda hard to react to a situation while holding a kid, I would think

Yeah I meant they're usu not holding the kid, the kid is holding on by him or herself (!!!!!! I KNOW!!!) while the adult has hands on the handlebars. It just doesn't surprise me anymore, I guess.

this kid wasn't old enough to hold himself up/hang onto handlebars (a practice I would be more forgiving of if the child is above-toddler age, ie, probably able to jump off to safety in the event of an accident)

This feels like a 'hey I could walk outside tomorrow and get hit by a bus. Crazy, horrible things happen all the time' attitude which is def one of IA hot buttons.
Firstly, you're not getting hit by a bus tomorrow because you won't be idly standing in a bus lane because you know it will increase your chances of getting hit by a billion percent. Can you not give your kid the same courtesy? Yes, horrible, crazy things happen everyday, a good chunk of which could probably be avoided by a simple choice like getting your ass on the sidewalk or not dodging through traffic on a bike with an infant on the back.
Secondly, I understand this 'any of us could die at any second' is probably a mental safety mechanism to keep one from losing their mind thinking of what could happen but it always seems to be paired with the certain(ly false) belief that 'nothing truly bad will ever happen to me'.
I don't know. It's just all so complementary and contradictory and flippant as fuck

Thirdly, install your kids car seat correctly, buckle both of you in correctly, wear a helmet if you're on a bike. These things will in no way comprise your constitutional liberties.

wife and I feel like we are watching a slow motion trainwreck with this friend of hers that is 6 months pregnant and exhibits zero signs that she is emotionally/psychologically capable of raising a child. She is prone to long blog rants about how she "doesn't even like babies!" and hates being pregnant and feels crazy all the time (she was p crazy before tbh) and it's like ... uh honey you have no idea what you are in for

is she doing it alone?

No, thankfully. She does have a partner, they've been together a lil over a year i think. He's a spock LARPer

She sounds like she could use counseling? Not that that excuses her for being a brat about becoming a parent but "feels crazy all the time" sounds like more than brattiness.

The final line of Οὖτις's response quickly undercuts the mild relief brought by the first.

haha

Oh she's in therapy allright

I would link to her blog but then I'm afraid she might find this

let me see if I can do this googleproofing thing

Change thread title to "This is the thread where we prejudge other people's parenting"

heh

Doesn't even like babies / hates being pregnant / feels crazy all the time pretty accurately describes our birth mom's pregnancy experience and is why she went with adoption.

A friend of mine boasted after their baby announcement, "It's cool - I'm up at five anyway getting ready for my daily bike ride."

And I was just all quiet and heh.

Oh cute, he has a daily recreation routine he likes to follow?

lol

tbf his routine does not appear to have changed at all (if 5am bike trail facebook photos are to be believed) but this guy is totes high on life

I wonder if the mom's routine has changed...

hmph.

My kids have both decided that they like to stay up late this summer. REAL FRICKIN' LATE. I mean, what are you gonna do, tell an 11-year-old he has to go to sleep at 9 o'clock in the summer? He's up until the wee hours watching Netflix. The 4-year-old isn't much better. She'll just sit there giggling and yodeling in her bed until like 9:30 or 10. I have to wake up between 4 and 5 every day for work, so trying to stay up later than these guys is like crawling through the desert on my hands and knees in search of water. It has put a serious cramp in downtime with Mrs. Life.

I give your post a D- for lack of judgmental content