Anticip--er, Dreading KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE (Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson, Matthew Vaughn, Mark Millar)

I'd heard about the obviously risible anal sex bit but not the Obama thing, Also, Vaughn came off as a huge asshole in a recent EW interview I'm too lazy to link to.

I saw thus it was entertaining and utterly awful and yeah there were bits so obviously out to shock that they immediately didnt matter this will happen when u have ppl who make kick ass 2 without meeting with serious personal consequences afterwards.

Goldman and Vaughan didn't do 2

there are movies where you research yr takedown info there are movies you dont bother this is decidedly in the letter bracket so mea culpa but

our Joel thought this was the greatest movie he'd ever seen tbh

im not saying I'd have disagreed at his age neither

sure, i just have to gently explain to him why i don't give much of a shit at my age

wait, is this a 12A or is Joel older than I thought. or did you break the LAW

the trailer for this looked like the most amazing junk obv

Joel is a few months shy of his 18th birthday

time makes fools of us all huh?

fuck

the hero is called 'eggsy' ffs

NV's post serving as uncomfortable reminder of when I judged Ben Elton's 'Stark' the best book I'd ever read.

The anal sex gag is actually "empowering," you know:

http://www.avclub.com/article/kingsman-director-matthew-vaughn-says-films-final--215474

Obvious, but if you liked First Class or Kick-Ass this is definitely in the same vein - fun, stupid-but-kinda-clever stuff.

Did we ever get to the bottom of this

i started watching this on a plane and it was so terrible i thought it was a parody and then it slowly dawned on me i was watching an actual movie

I watched it on a plane and then I watched a couple parts of it again. It is a parody, very much in the Starship Troopers vein. Maybe not quite as subversive as Verhoeven taking a crap on his own movie in the middle of making it, but I think it's pretty clear his attitude towards action films and their tropes heavily informed this film. It serves its purpose, and pretty well.

FWIW I think First Class and Kick-Ass both think they are actual movies with stories. This one knows better which is why I was able to enjoy it. First Class is a series of generally weak set pieces with a cast that is far, far too good for the material. Kick-Ass just seems actually hateful and "subversive" in the perverse, performative, "I'm going to poop in a graveyard and call it actionism" sense.

That last bit is like the highest praise I can give Kick-Ass actually. The first sentence above, that it thinks it is a movie with a story, is more than it deserves.

Honestly the sequel should have just been this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFZkoNJ3DxE

not really buying it Tomboto

Same

imo kick ass was more of that movie than this was.

ha, amusing

Finding out Vaughan was a dyed-in-the-wool Tory made my uncomfortable feelings about this film suddenly make a lot more sense. Especially the weird attitude to class.

In the comic the it's the main character's uncle who recognises his potential and inducts him into the Secret Service. In Vaughan's version, someone of lower class can only rise above their circumstances if a member of the establishment, the elite, takes pity on them.

The fact it casts an environmentalist as the main bad guy(wot a bunch a'loonies, eh!) should've also raised a few alarm bells. Again, not the case in the comic.

I don't think it's a parody so much as a blatant propaganda exercise.

Yep

Like I hate political analysis of movies as much as anyone on ilx but Vaughan's politics are pretty blatant throughout

It's ok tho. Movies as political vehicles are just long, expensive opinions.

Yeah, Birth Of A Nation, Triumph Of The Will, those films were just some guy's opinion, right?

Not that Kingsman is anywhere near that level obviously, but I feel like when this kind of thing is masquerading as harmless popcorn fluff it can have an insidious effect. Like it's normalising those shitty opinions by slipping them in between all the wacky spy antics.

It made me feel decidedly grubby about enjoying some of Vaughan's work in the past, that's for sure.

didn't know that. what a shame! wouldn't have guessed it necessarily from the maker of Stardust and X-Men: First Class. still, his movies are fun and i'll continue to enjoy them until he goes aging Frank Miller

This movie is sorta reprehensible garbage

sorry neil and "music begins with you", the word "stardust" must always be followed by "the super wizard"

Hey the sequel

Is the worst thing ever made

Talk about vaporware hype. Two weeks of overdrive ads here and then silence.

Vaughn has stated that he and Goldman have a third Kingsman film planned.[55] In the September 2017 edition of Total Film, Egerton revealed that his personal choice for the role of the villain of Kingsman 3 is Dwayne Johnson.[56] He also went on to suggest that this sequel may be the last, as he envisions the Kingsman franchise to be a trilogy.[57]

Vaughn has also revealed that with the success of the Kingsman films, he is interested in making a Statesman spin-off.[58]

great...

can't believe the sequel to this terrible movie sucks wtf

the trailer was terrible.

General reservations about tone and content aside, I look at this as I have every Millar property/adaptation from the past 15 years or so and ask: who wanted this?

Kick-Ass is honestly the worst, most unpleasant book I've ever read. I think the answer is disgusting, miserable misanthropes.

the movie was a lot better and more enjoyable than the book because it greatly toned down the shittiness of the characters. at least the first one, didn't see the sequel
and kingsman was good dumb fun, the way james bond movies used to be

The first one has enough charm imo to get over the disastrously shitty parts

The second one is shitty parts all the way down

the movie was a lot better and more enjoyable than the book because it greatly toned down the shittiness of the characters. at least the first one, didn't see the sequel

agree on all of this. Goldman and Vaughan didn't do the sequel

and kingsman was good dumb fun, the way james bond movies used to be

nah. too pastiched, too smug, mainly concerned with saying that shooting lots of ppl = the moral upper hand, and the "Hello Mr Man, save the world and you can, 'ow you say, do me up the pooper?" ending ruined what goodwill was left after a fairly incoherent climactic act

the dumb fun felt hollow early and evaporated quickly. if it's on TV and you turn it off 60-90 minutes in you can probably come out of it OK

Yeah I'd agree with all of that

This....is so much worse. So much worse. I walked home in a daze tbh.

the trailers for this made it seem like it would be really big with an alt-right crowd.

a refreshing change from other comic book movies

ding!

NV thinking My Friend Dahmer is an instructional guide

woo this is astonishing

a coke-addled, down-and-out elton john watching a guy get torn to shreds by robot dogs was probably my favourite part

i hated it, obv

the hero of this movie goes on a mission to finger a woman and the audience watch in awestruck horror as the camera follows his fingers down her torso and into her vagina, where his techno-condom-clad finger deposits a little tracking device

what the fuck

product placement for fox news and the sun ffs

It was horrific

A movie is either well or poorly made and all that except for this one which should see all involved hanged over the thames

taron egerton is such a weaselly little shit, how did anyone think he could carry a movie

this movie has keith allen in it fer cryin out loud

Yeah this film was weapons-grade hot garbage. I didnt see it by choice or pay to see it mind you but ugh. The worst part was seeing Pedro Pascal humiliate himself by being in this crap.

I dunno can one be so blithe about just throwing out a nomination for worst part with this one tbh

You'd want a panel of experts watching it again and making empirical arguments.

Gluck getting volunteers for that gig wha

well I know what I’m watching the next time I’m on an airplane

if you all hated it this much it really must be something

This is one of those times tb and look I know I've done you wrong in the past but this is utter

And unlike the first one fwiw

Good post that

This and Baby Driver are great if you dig "genre film"/Fantastic Fest-style exploitation stuff, idk

lol there is no way this is in any way as good as baby driver.

nah, it's not, but I enjoyed myself

the church sequence, Christ, I'm legit appalled a movie got made that contains a scene of that level of gleeful brutality visited on anonymous everypeople who aren't even ostensibly bad guys

How the fuck is this a franchise

Xp yo I love fantastic fest sploitotrash but idk this felt leagues removed from say Hobo With A Shotgun

i mean, the movie is so gleefully ott that i don't think of it as *that* diff than Hobo with the obvious exceptions of the budget and marketing and lack of a moral center

Baby driver was total shit but in a much less offensive and awful way that the kingsman sequel

Ya I guess I feel like proper exploito needs a paper thin moral center and that without it you've just got a bloodfeast that for me went unredeemed

The moral centre of these movies is particularly British successful/'it' crowd maybe

It's there but it's absolutely impenetrable to anyone human

Ya, to echo upthread that whole Glasto scene (and ugh, the fingerbang part no no no no) comes to mind.

The fingerbang scene isnt far off a logical follow-on from reward stranger anal in first movie

But lookit this is rly overanalysis because it's charmless dreck of a type that sits on the lowest rung alongside...imma say the Eiger sanction yes that bad

I’m never going to watch the Kick-Ass movies fwiw. It sounds like the Kingsman sequel is more in that vein?

Yep that's pretty accurate imo

Someday we'll both like a movie I promise

The Eiger Sanction was kind of fascinating as I recall. I watched it when I was probably 14 though

ITT Deems and Tombot agree on a movie

Nice

if you all hated it this much it really must be something

The sequel was so long they called back the "save the world/get butt sex" line twice.

i cant remember the last time i hated a movie this much. i didnt like the first one much at all, but this was egregiously horrible and stupid and annoying

The first one was passable (although way too violent imo).
I have just watched the sequel yesterday (yeah, I know, I was bored and wanted dumb sunday evening entertainment...).
What a bad bad movie. At some point I had enough and wanted to switch it off then thought I must be near the end so why not watch it all at that point... but I was actually only halfway through !

the hero of this movie goes on a mission to finger a woman and the audience watch in awestruck horror as the camera follows his fingers down her torso and into her vagina, where his techno-condom-clad finger deposits a little tracking device

what the fuck

― h.p. minecraft (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 December 2017 20:26 (eight months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

god i'd forgotten all about this

what an appalling, hateful movie

I think there was ONE moment that I found a little funny : when the robodog is about to kill Colin Firth and suddenly Elton John gets in the way on the sound of "Rocketman".
so that was around 5 nice secs in a 5h long movie...

yeah the "fingering" mission was wtf !

I haven't seen either of the movies but having read the work of Mark Millar, the only thing surprising about any of the WTF-ery ITT is that Hollywood keeps adapting the work of Mark Millar.

Or, rather, why Hollywood doesn't follow Marvel's template of loosely adapting the work of Mark Millar with all of the hardman edgelord content extracted.

i had the misfortune of seeing the sequel in the theater (got free tix & mr veg was keen to see it)

i dont think i’ve fully processed what i saw that evening even now. bad bad bad BAD NOPE BAD UGH

This movie watching experience is PTSD level horrible !

why Hollywood doesn't follow Marvel's template of loosely adapting the work of Mark Millar with all of the hardman edgelord content extracted.

since Wanted didn't have any hardman edgelord content in the film, it seems that Hampstead, not Hollywood, is the actual site of your ire.

So the Doral Trump Massacre video is literally a digitally adjusted version of the "Freebird" scene from Kingsman I.

:(