shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

http://brotherhipster.com/2015/01/06/heres-why-selfie-sticks-arent-a-big-deal/

something abt the tone really reminds me of an Onion op-ed

https://meduza.io/en/news/2015/03/05/russia-s-only-gulag-memorial-is-redesigned-to-celebrate-the-gulag

Wow:

“Now Perm-36 will be a museum dedicated to the difficult and noble work of the Gulag’s valiant workers, and about the technologies they used to protect the great [Soviet] people from the fifth column and various Nazis from Ukraine.”

wow

solzhenitsyn is rolling in his grave

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B_1jlN3UIAALtAI.png

http://www.salon.com/2015/03/12/rudy_giuliani_i_wish_president_obama_were_more_like_bill_cosby

hooooooly shit

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-hot-sauce-seizure-met-20150313-story.html

Man credits hot sauce with saving his life.

http://i58.tinypic.com/bg75dv.png http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2399141-evander-holyfield-to-fight-mitt-romney-for-charity-event

i wonder if holyfield knows he'll be up against a robot. here's what happened to the last guy who tried to romney on

http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2015/03/18/lottery-loser-plans-to-keep-losing-at-lottery/

http://www.12newsnow.com/story/28566302/new-hampshire-students-hawk-bill-provokes-abortion-comment

Omg what

Haha, I just posted that on the American Right Wing thread!

http://judiciary.house.gov/index.cfm/2015/3/at-the-flick-of-a-switch/

shit that looks like a clickhole article but isn't

That lottery story is deeply sad.

that judiciary page is mindboggling

"Girl Dancing With 30 Hula Hoops Looks Like She's About to Get Teleported"

http://sploid.gizmodo.com/girl-dancing-with-30-hula-hoops-looks-like-shes-about-t-1628255133

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2015/03/23/voices/spare-thought-western-men-trapped-japan/#.VRew89qRUup

http://i.imgur.com/OQZfsL8.png

thinkin baout things

read that as LOLCAL GARDOVA

http://nypost.com/2015/02/12/i-dont-regret-my-office-romance-and-neither-should-you/

"TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS AFTER SAYING “I DO,’’ I STILL THINK THAT MY HUSBAND IS THE CUTEST THING IN PANTS."

cheesy as fuck, but not onion level parody

http://ww2.kqed.org/news/2015/04/02/new-luxury-bus-lines-roll-into-san-francisco

“When I work late and I can’t take the express bus home — how do I say this — it’s uncomfortable the amount of passengers and the type of passengers. Sometimes I don’t feel safe,” Schiermeyer says.

https://vimeo.com/122275278

“I get triggered when I think about all of the people who don’t have access to Leap.”
Ilyse Magy, San Francisco Transit Riders Union

alol

http://www.hopesandfears.com/hopes/future/science/168959-mysterious-deep-space-signals-revealed-to-be-rogue-microwave-ovens

amazing

http://fusion.net/story/118657/the-worlds-first-hologram-protest-held-in-spain/

Kelley Paul says husband Rand Paul not a sexist

http://www.indyweek.com/indyweek/what-its-like-to-be-a-grown-man-whose-favorite-band-is-three-women/Content?oid=4374935

jesus motherfucking christ

couldn't scroll past the photo

But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male.

A balding ranga no less.

Stephen Hawking tells fans Zayn Malik could still be in a parallel One Direction

http://gu.com/p/47pth

http://thoughtcatalog.com/sarah-larson/2014/01/i-think-people-without-kids-have-empty-lives-and-im-not-sorry-about-it/

I Think People Without Kids Have Empty Lives And I’m Not Sorry About It
Sarah Larson
1764 Comments

lol

as a second article in this series i would like to see I Think People Without Spinning Light-Up Bowties Have Empty Lives And I’m Not Sorry About It because 1. it's true, 2. everyone in this instance has a choice about it, and 3. it is just a more compelling topic

I’m not saying you can’t have a happy life without kids. Of course you can. You can be happy making all kinds of choices, because people are adaptable and have a remarkable ability to make the best of things. You can also be happy as a racist, but that doesn’t make you an especially great person. I’m not saying that kid-free people are bad like being racist is bad. I’m simply illustrating the point that happiness does not equate to living a great life.

such a shame all her kids have empty lives

was thought catalog even still relevant in 2k14 let alone 2k15

shit that looks like a clickhole link but isn't:

http://www.lifehacker.co.uk/2015/04/28/video-shows-off-three-best-ways-roll-sleeves

a 5 minute(!) video showing you the best three ways to roll up your sleeves.

Fortune's report on $80,000 fashion-forward assault rifles

http://fortune.com/2015/04/28/ridiculously-expensive-guns/

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/sylvia-driskell-nebraska-woman-files-lawsuit-against-every-gay-person-in-the-world-10230379.html

I'm OK if we all chip in one penny and then have her settlement dumped down on her from above.

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2015/may/07/the-patriots-still-won-the-super-bowl-whether-tom-brady-is-a-or-not

Odd how the URL is missing the word 'cheat'. But still contains the is a or (which normally get stripped from 'readable' URLs)