start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

I've also sang on Broadway.

Pretty much everyone I work with has titles and degrees in their sigs but they're all academics and dammit you better understand I'm not only an assistant professor but also the undergrad coordinator; god forbid you think I only have an MFA and not a PhD.

Also yes, the email signature thing gets me riled up too. Thought I was just trying to find some tiny self-righteousness in being a total no-career going-nowhere bum, but I do feel a delicious shiver of disdain when someone new has been in the seat for approx 3 seconds and has already set up an elaborate email signature announcing PhD, MSc, Senior Rock Star Universe Designer & Reality Architect.

Possibly unfair, especially since at one point we were actually told we should all put our job titles in our signatures. (Most of us resisted. Nobody noticed.)

Extra disdain points for new people who jump in to answer all the questions about how everything works in meetings, even though someone less curmudgeonly/socially inept probably thinks hey, that new guy's great, it's totally great that he's already taking control and understanding the business and letting us have his fresh perspectives, because hey, that's what we employ him for, right? (I dunno what anyone employs anyone for. Still waiting to be paid just to sit on the sofa and hate everyone, personally.)

I invite you all to publication in this years' The Who's Who of ILX. The fee is $500.

HOOS HOO

77 Under 77

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

after all these years, couldn't internet radio streaming work a little better? It's always 2004 when I try to stream. Constant drop outs. Why.

Coworker is sniffing every 2 min

The sniffing, humming, talks-to-his-email coworker who sits right behind me is off sick, which I have antisocially been delighted by, but I guess he arranged cover for his unnecessary noise duties as the guy slightly further behind me has been whistling for the past half hour.

Also my computer rebooted itself for updates last night and I forgot to save a file before going home, which of course was in the one piece of software I use daily which doesn't auto-save.

i hate people that squat in conference rooms cos their desks are near them so they assume they own them. book them appropriately - tired of booking em and seeing people already in them and having to bounce them.

i hate stiff cotton crewneck tshirts that strangle you

read "squat" literally and had a visual of some guy squatting down in a meeting room (possibly doing a shit, to get meta)

part of a three part series on GG Allin's performance art philosophy

'squat in the conference room / i'd like to suck on some of that / ilxor: nooooooo!!!!!!!!!!' etc

i hate stiff cotton crewneck tshirts that strangle you

Yessssss and why can we not, in 2015, have clever screen printed tshirts in women's cut, true plus sizes? Why am I always reduced to buying horrible strangle-y cotton crews and cutting the neck out?

YES

I despise crew necks. V-necks 4evah.

hi-5

Agh "women's cut" t-shirts. They are all wrong. All.

I got given a free t-shirt by a work project and it's a women's "large" and, you know, I am a large woman so how appropriate, except I probably still couldn't fit in it even if I lost half my body weight. I felt bad about this but even the super-skinny woman in the office said she didn't want it because it was too small, and then a male coworker remarked that even his 11y/o daughter wouldn't fit in this allegedly large t-shirt, so eh.

I wonder where I put my Stars of the Lid t-shirt which I was so excited to buy except the lady-cut sleeves were basically non-existent and revealed basically all my pale, flabby upper arms and armpits. Not a good look imo, so I've never worn it. (Also it's a light baby blue and pale colours don't work on me at all for the aforementioned pale and flabby reasons.)

Crew neck fine for tops but I like a v-neck sweater and this past year I have been totally unable find a plain black goes-with-everything looks-smart-if-necessary v-neck sweater in the shops because everything is bright colours and with unnecessary frills or dangly bits or buttons stuck to them or w/e.

(Hmm is "crew neck" any round neck-hole or only the horribly tight strangly ones? If the latter then ugh, not fine. But too low and scoopy also annoying because, oh hey thanks, now I can't lean forwards, or basically ever wear this top unless I find another top to go under it.)

I have mixed feelings about v-necks because of being bludgeoned by the "wisdom" that fat women need to wear v-necks to elongate our fat, stumpy necks, which I find reductive and insulting. Although I have found that American Apparel v-neck t-shirts are a reasonable option if available.

In fact, I am now the proud owner of this shirt in that cut:

https://d2v48i7nl75u94.cloudfront.net/uploads/0417b627b5000f550708c849794ed789.jpg

Oh man, aps, I feel you so hard on the too small t-shirt thing. My firm is involved in a lot of volunteer/pro bono endeavors and the last one I participated it involved sorting canned goods at the central Chicago food donation warehouse. They gave all of us firm shirts in gross technical fabric (whyyyyyy) that we were supposed to wear so that we would all match and the "unisex" XL was so tight. I could get it on but it was uncomfortable and with my boobs, just looked way too sleazy* for the environment. So I just didn't wear it and basically spent the entire evening prepare to be SUPER DEFENSIVE if anybody said anything, but I think people figured out what was what and didn't mention it. Oh also I was the fattest person involved in the event so it was pretty emotionally taxing.

*big boobs aren't sleazy, nor are tight shirts, but a work-related event sponsored by a law firm held in a place that sent out a dress code to volunteers that included instructions on covering tattoos and removing piercings seemed like not the place for tits aplenty.

I'm far from the fattest person at the firm, though, so I find it rather obnoxious that the largest size shirt available was so small. And usually unisex XL shirts are a little big on me, so this was definitely a small cut. Dumb.

Yeah in printing shirts for my dance group we've found that there are, like, American Apparel-style XLs which will just about fit a human-sized man, and then there are, like, Fruit of the Loom-style XLs which will fit much larger people. Vast sizing disparity.

Those Fruit of the Loom shirts are the exact strangle necked crew shirts that VG is talking about ime.

Hey, off topic, but what's the deal w/ tattoos in big(ger) firms? Strictly, 100% all of them always covered?

I feel like my firm is a little more casual than, say, where Jeff works, plus as you know I'm on an "alternative" career track insofar as I'm a staff attorney with no interest in presenting myself as partner material, so I don't know how universal my experience is. I also, as usually happens in office environments, am typecast as "quirky" as far as what I wear to work.* I will wear sleeveless shirts when it's really warm out but I generally put on a cardigan once I get into the office. I'll also work in my office with the door closed in tattoo showing clothing (nb the hall-facing wall of my office is all glass so people can see in even with the door closed). So I don't care if somebody sees my tattoos when I'm coming or going or minding my own business, but I cover them if I'm going to interact with coworkers in any substantial way.

*not NOT me IRL... http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-01/enhanced/webdr02/16/17/enhanced-buzz-12699-1389911219-9.jpg

But weirdly I think exposed armpits are unprofessional for a legal professional, so I'm not sure whether it's the tats or the pits that drive my decision.

Why did you get your armpits tattooed in the first place.

https://s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/lmooweb-media/images/515a0eb3-ea75-41ec-b87d-1aa8bbf3ce74.jpg

I just think they're classy.

http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2014/163/8/4/pittoo_for_ssb4_by_elemental_aura-d7m5kg6.jpg

i have a crew-neck heavy cotton unisex NASA tshirt & not only does it strangle me, it's cut so weird! the shoulder seams slant down at like 45 degree angle. i tried cutting the neck out but it still sits weird :(

fkin stupid

*not NOT me IRL... 

I probably should not have expected that image to work. Computers are hard.

Hmm, image inside block quotes

I was lazy, on my phone. Should've noticed it didn't pick up the URL

i was at the laundromat this morning and i don't usually fold there (or anywhere, lol) but i had wanted to EXCEPT this early-20s-ish (ugh so young) couple had put all their clothes into one dryer forever (put stuff in multiple dryers for shorter time idiots) and were sitting on the nearest folding table in front of the sign that says "please do not sit on folding table"

like the dryer was stuffed so tight with clothes just going around as if it was a washer. think about it.

Just take em home and put yr wet clothes inside the oven.

Said to them, not you, h.

when i have an ilx thread bookmarked but i can't read it because it's regarding the one of like two tv shows i watch and i haven't seen the latest episode

so it just sits there, blaring at me

ilx needs a bookmark sensitivity feature

My solution is to not read TV show threads since they are always awful.

Breaking Bad thread is one of my all time favorites

I just wiped out the Better Call Saul bookmark.

The Wire thread hung over me for like a year.

I read the Better Call Saul thread for awhile, even though I haven't seen an episode.

but I also read Nintendo Power in the Super Nintendo and N64 eras, even though I only had an NES at the time.

when i was an early-80s kid i got flight simulator for xmas and i read the shit out of that manual even though we didn't have a computer capable of running it

i could tell you some stuff about the minor airstrips surrounding the chi/nyc/sea/lax areas. miss u 4 eva meigs field

when i have an ilx thread bookmarked but i can't read it because it's regarding the one of like two tv shows i watch and i haven't seen the latest episode so it just sits there, blaring at me ― mookieproof , Tuesday, 21 April 2015 00:18 (1 hour ago) Bookmark

Lol this is my entire life. I have 6 threads currently like this, including University Challenge, wtf me
Worst is when you finally finish the season and open the thread to join the
glorious discussion and below your bookmark is just one post going 'wow great season' yes i'm looking at you Homeland s4

Ha I identify strongly with that last bit there.

Carefully navigating the dangerous waters between the Community and GoT threads on my phone in order to read Rolling Is This Racist