shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/techmeme-slambook/

oh nevermind that's all inside baseball

Wealthy Chinese man buys two gold Apple Watch Editions for dog, prompts bizarre controversy

Tuhao is a derogatory Chinese term that refers to people who are rich, but lack corresponding social graces. Were it around at the time, Americans might have used the word to refer to the Clampett family from the Beverly Hillbillies.

Yes, I think Americans are familiar with the concept, thanks.

But that said, this is an entertaining tag page: http://shanghaiist.com/tags/tuhao

Tuhao dude tries to win girl's heart via drone, she attacks it with a broom FTW.

http://i.imgur.com/7L59MQ8.jpg

http://www.jpost.com/Arab-Israeli-Conflict/Post-writer-attacked-at-Jerusalem-coexistence-hug-event-404423

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2015/05/31/jack_warner_arrested_ex_fifa_official_cites_onion_article_to_defend_himself.html

??

hoo boy

http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2015/jun/11/board-member-had-longstanding-doubts-about-truthfu/

These matters aside, unlike elsewhere in the world, Australia's black and brown coal resources are low-sulphur and hence pollution-free. In contrast to windfarms they do not require vast tracts of land and disfigure the natural environment. Nor do they impose the detrimental health effects from low frequency noise and infrasound that, according to the Senate Committee on Wind Turbines, appear to affect 10 to 15 per cent of the population.

From here: http://www.afr.com/opinion/columns/green-energy-generates-big-costs-for-little-gain-20150621-ghtluw

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/history/2014/08/john_hancock_s_declaration_of_independence_signature_was_it_too_big.html

These Are 13 Of The Best Trading Floor Pranks Of All Time

http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20150713/downtown/chicago-moves-ban-gun-shaped-cellphone-cases

shit that looks like an onion article and is:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CKDsDyyXAAAcBIQ.png

omg

http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/nearly-40000-demand-south-carolina-remove-slave-memorial-because-it-shames-whites/

“The African American Monument depicts slave ships, mistreatment and words such as ‘segregation’ and ‘Jim Crow,'” the petition states. “This being the case, it is undeniable that this monument can and does serve to invoke in the white community feelings of shame, humiliation and offense, serving as a constant reminder of the dark history of slavery.”

http://www.texasmonthly.com/daily-post/almost-half-texas-believes-military-invasion-likely-coming-and-finally-conspiracy-crowd

sometimes im like "tx isn't so bad"

this isn't one of those times

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-07-22/these-superhumans-are-real-and-their-dna-could-be-worth-billions

A friend and I discussed on FB yesterday the fact that you could easily switch the text of these two articles and nothing would change. It's Poe's Law in action.

http://www.theonion.com/article/man-already-knows-everything-he-needs-to-know-abou-17990

http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/michigan-town-blocks-muslim-mans-secular-scout-camp-over-fears-its-a-secret-isis-training-ground/

Was kind of briefly wondering if rawstory.com is even a real news site, since on the side panel there was also this story:

http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/man-dons-knights-templar-costume-to-scare-away-muslims-from-new-york-military-recruiting-center/

Accompanied by his wife, the former Marine also brought along a bow and a quiver full of arrows, saying he doesn’t have a permit to carry a handgun.

Wyoming Man Found with 30 Eyeballs in His Anal Cavity : http://crazed.com/wyoming-man-eyeballs-in-cavity/

http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/07/womens-museum-becomes-womens-killer-museum.html?mid=twitter-share-thecut

https://www.yahoo.com/music/heres-1000-people-playing-the-foo-fighters-125469380086.html

Headline in Norwegian paper just now: "Prisoner escapes from Bastøy [prison island] on a surfboard"

the thing about lenny kravitz's dick falling out after he split his pants
http://www.buzzfeed.com/kimberleydadds/lenny-kravitzs-dick-wants-to-fly-away#.yvGpy9jm1

Too obvious for The Onion, but nevertheless:

http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/madd-chapter-president-charged-with-impaired-driving-resigns-1.2503162

Man Sues Restaurant Known for Throwing Dinner Rolls After Being Hit by Bread

I mean...

http://i.imgur.com/oVsLMsV.jpg

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/morris-dancers-blind-footballers-brawl/
"Morris dancers and blind footballers in mass brawl"

Aw crap I didnt read that one closely, its a satire. NM.

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/aug/21/jonathan-franzen-considered-adopting-iraqi-orphan-young-people

needs to give his editor a raise imo

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/aug/25/never-date-a-man-who-hates-beyonce?CMP=twt_gu

plausibly this is intentionally Onion-esque in its delivery, at the least I think this dude is adopting a persona, but it's presented as sincere so

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/08/us/politics/hillary-clinton-to-show-more-humor-and-heart-aides-say.html?&moduleDetail=section-news-3&action=click&contentCollection=Politics®ion=Footer&module=MoreInSection&version=WhatsNext&contentID=WhatsNext&pgtype=article

"And there will be new efforts to bring spontaneity to a candidacy that sometimes seems wooden and overly cautious" is just a taste of the comedy within

Chris Brown bails on gay pride appearance because gay men were present

While totally applicable to the thread on title alone, I bet the onion would reject that article if a writer pitched it to them becuz it requires accepting that chris brown has a lesbian segment of his fanbase

Like this could be an onion headline and "Chris brown entertains lesbian dance party at pride" could be an onion headline

http://www.vox.com/2015/9/9/9275611/victorian-era-life

can't wait til they die of consumption

Gabriel's workout clothes were copied from the racing outfit of a Victorian cyclist, and when he goes swimming, his hand-knit wool swim trunks raise more than a few eyebrows — but this is just the least of the abuse we've taken. We have been called "freaks," "bizarre," and an endless slew of far worse insults. We've received hate mail telling us to get out of town and repeating the word "kill ... kill ... kill." Every time I leave home I have to constantly be on guard against people who try to paw at and grope me. Dealing with all these things and not being ground down by them, not letting other people's hostile ignorance rob us of the joy we find in this life — that is the hard part. By comparison, wearing a Victorian corset is the easiest thing in the world.

btw, "kill...kill...kill" is not a single word

I take some small comfort in assuming she doesn't vote

so this is a trending topic now; feeling trolled

I love my fantasies so much I decided to live in them. Nothing new in that.

She's got a website

" The late Victorian era was an incredibly dynamic time, with so many new and extraordinary inventions it seemed anything was possible. Interacting with tangible items from that time helps us connect with and share that optimism."

ah but then who is the real Victorian, someone who wears woollen Speedos or the businessman with his iPhone and Eggmaster?

optimism & innovation was the Victorian era's death knell

Oh man my colleague is a Victorianist and just posted on Facebook that he's set up an interview with these people.