Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

this has happened with people i am on nodding terms with around town and prominent SJ-savvy ilxors. it did not end well.

facebook discussions/debates that pull in friends from completely disparate parts of my life, like when some high school friend jumps in with the college friend and the co-worker and the random neighborhood playground friend and they're like not even on the same discursive planet let alone page.

― five six and (man alive), Wednesday, July 22, 2015 10:13 AM (5 minutes ago)

huh, this gives me a mix of irrationally happy & embarrassed

yeah it depends on the mixture

Yeah I kind of love that especially when you get to see like PhDs in econ or biology arguing with mouthbreating ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND STEVE rednecks or whatever.

i kinda like it

except when my super idiotic unfollowed friends chime in & then i'm like (facepalm)

posting on facebook at all makes me feel embarrassed but i do it from time to time anyway to let ppl know i'm still alive

i used the curling iron because i had to get my dl renewed and i'm 99% sure i was embarrassed about my vanity/embarrassed at how little the curling iron did to improve things

taking pictures with famous people

Sometimes it results in uncomfortable political conversations, other times it's just like one person not keyed in at all to some kind of inside-jokey humor sensibility like "Wait, are you guys serious right now?!!!"

are you embarrassed to know these people or embarrassed on their behalf?

I don't know, I'm sort of simultaneously embarrassed from all sides.

i still can't say the sizes at starbucks, all i know is "tall"

for everything else i just say medium or large, i really can't

― surm, Friday, July 24, 2015 12:15 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol me too

― marcos, Friday, July 24, 2015 12:41 PM (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This exchange from the coffee thread reminded me that having to say the coffee sizes at Starbucks is a deeply embarrassing and shame-ridden exercise. Whether you use the special Starbucks' terminology or just s/m/l, you lose either way.

One thing I often found fairly drinkable and satisfying was a "Double Tall Two Pump Mocha" -- i.e. a tall mocha with an extra shot and less chocolate syrup, and of course no whipped cream. I also like the "short" size because you get a better proportion of espresso to milk.

― five six and (man alive), Friday, July 24, 2015 12:49 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Double Tall" is the weirdest fucking way to phrase it, but that's exactly what they call it. Also I think there's an order that they call something like "Iced Tall Unsweetened Iced Coffee" -- they actually say "iced" twice!

not to be all trenchant but the best answer there is don't go to starbucks

lmao

check yr privilege forks

i don't drink coffee!
well, coffee and choc milk (which is a new fave thing) but i do that at home because the world has not caught up

I wouldn't say that I'm a Starbucks regular, but as a dedicated coffee drinker there are going to be times when it is a necessary evil

asking a stranger to make you special coffee drinks in general is embarrassing
i just want a cup of coffee with some milk in it, and then i want another one. the only special thing i like re: coffee is my "thanks i needed that" mug because it's so stupid.

again though sharing personal details about coffee (or anything) consumption: embarrassing

My work neighborhood in the last two years has suddenly blossomed with good coffee places. Before that there was Oren's and Starbucks, although I still mostly went to Oren's. My neighborhood in Queens though has three Starbucks and didn't have anything else until like 6 months ago, and even that place is about 20 mins walk from me.

yea the situation can often be starbucks or gas station coffee for your two choices, sbux is def preferable then

we have alot of good coffee places with their own roasters in Sac now, including a great one right by my house

I work in the suburbs & the only places near work are peets and sbux. always try to opt for peets, coffee is a million x better, but it's further away

I've still never bought a coffee at Starbucks, and if it were the only choice I could go without because TEA.

Sbux is also a welcome presence at many roadside rest areas.

oh yea totally i think of that whole stretch of the nj turnpike, very welcome

Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed: I've still never bought a coffee at Starbucks, and if it were the only choice I could go without because TEA.

That was really unnecessarily rude. Flag posted.

Thanks, NA. I don't expect snide responses to my posts from people I've always been polite to.

We've been here before for this explanation, but I won't go to Starbucks because they're involved in tax evasion on a global scale, make their workers bend over backwards in the name of 'flexibility', and their business practices are extremely predatory. Avoiding them is not a problem for me.

Sounded like snobbery wrapped up in concern trolling. Which is a thing I am familiar with from my boss the rich "liberal hippie" who, e.g., "Uuugh (has) never even seen the inside of a Wal-Mart."

Anyway NA I'm sorry I was rude and I accept my FP w/ grace.

And the apology I'm due? It's not snobbery to withhold custom from a tax-dodging company that's shit to its workers and is not what I'd call a good neighbour - and I'm not responsible for whatever it is your boss does to piss you off. Check yourself, not me.

Sometimes it results in uncomfortable political conversations, other times it's just like one person not keyed in at all to some kind of inside-jokey humor sensibility like "Wait, are you guys serious right now?!!!"

― five six and (man alive), Wednesday, July 22, 2015 3:43 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My man.

I don't know how anyone navigates the minefield of cheek-kissing. Once, twice or three times? Cheek to cheek or lips to cheek? Starting on the left or the right? It's impossible to get right.

Even if you can remember all the different national variations (three for Russians, two in Spain, etc) there's no guarantee the other person isn't going to try to tailor their cheek-kissing to your presumed cultural context (which i guess would be one or two in the UK). It always goes wrong. I leave about 50% of my business meetings feeling like an idiot and not for the normal, justifiable reasons. I just want a handshake.

i once kissed my girlfriend's best friend full on the lips because of this confusion.

also shaking hands with women in the paris office produces an understandable wtf is this guy am i a leper look. italians i worked with just ended up saying "we know, inglese, non toccare" which was about right.

touching cheek or peck on the cheel or gradations in between.

whether to kiss or not is a nightmare, and then how many. if i do one kiss i feel like paddy irishman if the person was about to do two, if i do two and they were intending one it's like i think i'm some deluded europhile.

told this story on ilx already but in a noisy drunken pub situation, a girl i vaguely know once stopped me in the middle of going for the second cheek and thought i was attempting to kiss her - and like actually full-on kissed me in response to this - i was like "whoa that's not where i was going at all!" and she said "that was weird! i suppose it's no harm" - her bf was across the room...

to hug or not in the U.S. is similar, most people I'm friends with, men or women, give a hug and that makes sense and I like that but there are so many couples we know in which the wife gives me a hug but the husband just gives this distant handshake and it is just like wtf dude I have known for years and been to your wedding and shit and am going through parenting together just give me a fucking hug. my goddamned brother in law still just gives me a handshake. gtfo. Makes me both angry and embarrasses when I go for the hug but they just offer their hand. wtf u afraid of dude

yeah hug or handshake is a prob here too. i've seen people act weird about a handshake.

my brother shook my mum's hand once bcos he got confused about the hug.

just realized I went through an entire trip to quebec without anyone doing the kiss greeting. I'd have botched it badly, again, but I need that awkwardness in my life

I don't hug. Not fond of handshakes either. Fist bumps are ok.

Maybe I'll hug if drunk. But nobody wants that.

Hugging is weird and hard to figure out. My brother and I hugged for the first time in about 2007 at the airport after my dad's funeral. It was awkward.

My extended family started hugging in the 90s. When I saw my dad hug his sister it called everything into question. Midwesterners no toccare.

I'm a hugger now.

Love 2 hug

i hug ppl i know but go for handshake if i dont

which, idk i find that ppl think bcz I am a woman that i want to hug.

nuh uh. shields up, buddy

I'm a hugger but a lot of our friends are not so I abstain but sometimes it's hard because I'm just really happy to see you, man.

Unless it's hot in which case don't touch me with your gross damp body heat.