ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

Feel like a deluded fool for posting here as I don't have kids, but have seen situations with a nephew where just ignoring him worked. He would kick off, keep going for maybe 30-45 mins. During that time he wasn't removed from the room or put on time out, just ignored (unless he took a break from the performance and asked a normal question or something, in which case he would be answered normally). He would taper off and go back to normal very slowly, adults would start interacting with him again, and usually try to have a little giggle with him to reassure him that he wasn't cast out. But I have no idea whether you've already tried something similar or feel that it doesn't fit what's happening with you guys.

I just don't like the person I become when I'm mad at my toddler (or at my infant when he literally wakes up every 30 to 60 minutes like he's been doing the past couple days)

Yeah this really bums me out too, I hate when I get mad at an almost 9 month old for things that are done without malice or planning on his part because he's a baby.

We made dinner for a friend last night as his wife is in Japan and he's home alone for almost a week with a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and a 3 month old baby. The middle kid was not doing well - just overtired and out of sorts and a toddler and was repeatedly going off on the 6 year old who wasn't really doing anything wrong, but wasn't really trying to stay out of it either. I'm really humbled and impressed at how my friend handled the repeated screaming time outs without losing his shit - he's definitely mellower than I am in general but I thought this might have broken him.

In other news, my kid went to bed at 8:45 or so and is still asleep almost 11 hours later, and didn't wake up during the night - I don't believe this has ever happened before and I've had to confirm he's still breathing several times now.

http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2015/06/Surprise-Dance.gif

I've had two decent nights (and a nap of my own omg) but he's been NOT NAPPING when he usually is like clockwork. I might go back to work early if this becomes permanent...

6, 3, and 3 months man I can't even comprehend what that must be like

dammit try again
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2015/06/Surprise-Dance.gif?gs=a

Matilda's new thing is waving hello/goodbye, if you wave at her she will wave back, or sometimes if you just say hi she'll wave. The cutest was when we were in a hotel room the other night and Sarah was holding her in front of the mirror and she was waving at herself for like five minutes and grinning really big. Then later Sarah was trying to nurse her down and Tilda would pop off and turn around so she could wave at herself in the mirror more.

we have six teeth now, really hope that's it for teething for a little bit. He's actually a sweet little thing when the teeth aren't terrorising him.

One of mr veg's cousins had their teething toddler at a family gathering - that kid was made of drool, but it was so damn cute

*grin* *drool*

Whoa where did this "MINE" thing come from???

"I'm a tiger slug. You have to pick me up and throw me into the garden."

starting Ferber method tonight please pray for me and my family thank you very much lol

trying to do things differently this time around, the boy is 5 months almost, with his older brother we did a prolonged and agonizing series of mistakes until he was 15 months and then did launched a gradual process of encouraging self soothing over a three week period. this time we want to get this bullshit out of the way early

he finally fell asleep on his own eventually tonight which was exhilarating but I am scared to fucking death about having to deal wi another episode in the middle of the night with him in our room

marcos how did it go?

Did/do any of your kids pinch as part of their self-soothing? Ivy is relentless with this, and sometimes pinches really, really hard, kind of a pinch and roll move. She prefers the skin on hands, but I've woken up in the middle of the night to find little toddler fingers pinching my elbow skin (unpleasant) and earlier today when I was trying to hide my hands from her she had a go at my face. She's not doing it to be mean, and if we say "No pinching!" and pull our hands away she'll stop for a second, or pet us or tap her fingers on us but inevitably, the pinching starts again. It's maddening. Absolutely maddening, and we have no idea how to get her to stop. I've looked online and the only takeaway from everything I've ready is that I should just be happy she doesn't like to pinch nipples.

Not to discourage you at all Marcos, but we just decided to let K be in our room for a while on a little travel bed -- she's been in her own room for like 2 years and never goes a night without wakings, but the wakings have dramatically increased since the baby was born and we finally got to the point where we realized no one was getting enough sleep and it was harming everyone. It's a little demoralizing to bring her into our room but I at least hope we'll all get some rest!

However I do sometimes wonder if my own past inconsistency is partly to blame -- OOH insisting she sleep the night in her own bed but OTOH going and giving her water/comforting her when she woke up, which maybe prevented her from really learning to go back to sleep on her own? I just was never able to do the "shut the door for the night" concept because it seemed so counter-instinctual.

CA My 8-month old constantly pinches our faces, grabs flesh, pulls my hair and absent-mindedly bats/scrabbles at me - it is indeed maddening. He's too young to do much about it afaik and he's often looking at his hands and opening/closing them/scrabbling at the table so I guess that bit is a developmental thing.

The places that kills me is that she'll pinch the flesh between my thumb and my index finger. Just grab it with her little claws and pinch and roll, pinch and roll. I've tried wearing gloves, drove her insane that she couldn't find any skin to pinch. So it's really just a constant game of moving my hands, moving her hands, etc, which makes the going to bed process quite lengthy at times.

Shout out to grandparents for being awesome and majorly sucking at the same time.

Tilda pinches too but I think it's just part of her figuring out her hands. It hurts though.

I actually told my MIL this weekend "You know she throws those tantrums because she knows she'll get what she wants." Pretty sure it just bounced off her.

My pleas for "gentle hands" at bedtime haven't really worked, because now F just tenderly strokes my eyelids for a moment before prodding my eyeballs hard and digging his nails into my cheeks.

LOL for real at "tenderly strokes my eyelids"

You can totally tell when the tender stroking is about to turn into painful jabbing.

There was one amazing ten minute period when Ivy stroked my hair as part of her quiet time routine and I was so excited because that's way better than pinching and also felt really nice. But it didn't last and never happened again.

I was carrying both boys to the nursery to change them and J was happily chattering away and then he turned his head and BIT THE FUCK OUT OF MY NIPPLE THROUGH MY SHIRT

lol

Usually the signal that my kid is about to fall asleep is that she'll wrap both arms around my head, but last week at bedtime she tried to add "grinding her foot into my crotch" as part of the routine.

D's current signal that he's about to fall asleep is to scream like someone it currently digging a knife into the back of his knee

J's signal OTOH is "haha fuck sleep, I'm in it for the long haul; brew some coffee, chumps"

Ivy bit Jeff on the shoulder yesterday when they were horsing around, but I think she was just overstimulated. We had a talk ("talk") about how important it is not to bite our friends or people we love, and she gave Jeff a hug and kiss, then ran over to give me a hug and kiss, so I think maybe on some level she heard us? (That's the kind of hubris that almost guarantees I'll get a note about her biting a kid at daycare today...)

We only bite our enemies.

we ESPECIALLY bite our enemies.

That's the way they put it at her old daycare - "We don't bite our friends" - so I went with it for consistency's sake.

http://youtu.be/U6UWNA-WQgI

I have no idea if that will embed, but it's a Yo Gabba Gabba classic.

Ahhhhhh I see!

YGG is the best

he's often looking at his hands and opening/closing them

C did this a lot a couple weeks ago, we referred to it as "stoner hands", like "oh man have you ever REALLY looked at your hands before?"

Also he was pinching the backs of my arm quite a bit when feeding but it only lasted for a couple weeks and it's been a while since he's done it.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BKkHWhaCMAAPET9.jpg

lol yeah that's exactly it! He went through a phase a few months ago where he'd practice moving one hand around and the other hand opening and closing, but hadn't realised they could both do both.

carl/jeff i dont have anything to bring to the table except OMG THE PINCHING WOULD DRIVE ME INSAAAAANE

wtf ivy, cmon girl

my niece is an armpit pincher, i've just discovered. but she also giggles all day and has cutest little face in the entire history of the universe, so it's ok.

As I told my mom after she declared Ivy's pinching wasn't too bad: talk to me around minute 45.

stevie there are two sisters on this bus about age 2 and 4 who could seriously be older versions of Marin.

Anybody else have routine diaper changes turn into full-on epic wrestling matches? Like he's not angry or sad, just squirmy and trying to get away. It takes like three times as long and routinely ends with half-applied diapers.

Yes, although Ivy is often angry and sad about it, too. Distraction works for the wiggles - giving him a toy or something particularly enticing (a clean diaper, a pack of wipes, matches, I don't know) - and to avoid angry/sad especially in the morning, I've taken to changing her diaper while she's watching Daniel Tiger or whatever.

Mine always uses it as an opportunity to flip onto his front then turn round and grin at us. He looks so proud I can't be too cross (until the 5th, 6th, 7th time...)

diaper changes are like a baby's version of Jazzercize AFAICT

Lol yes. The diaper comes off and it's like "wait, whoa, LEGS, I have LEGS"

Most nappy changes, once they'd mastered coasting round the furniture, were done standing up. Couldn't face the endless wrestling

Are any of your kids facetiming relatives/friends yet? Our kids are huge fans of it but it is getting a little out of control. Just the other night I busted Hank facetiming his grandfather with the camera pointed in full close up of his balls that were, thankfully, covered in Avenger underwear. He looked so pleased with himself. Like a broken record i said once again 'Henry, please try to remember, FACEtime is for FACES.'

We've been doing Facetime/Skype since Evie was little since our families live elsewhere. The biggest problem is Evie always gets super hyper and crazy and starts yelling and wants to grab the iPad and run around with it instead of talking. She often wants to Facetime with her friends from school too, we've only let her do that a few times.

Kindergarten orientation yesterday was making me emo. I think Evie will be fine once she gets into it but she was being shy at the orientation and sitting by herself reading instead of talking with other kids. It's a big change from a small day care to a big school with 65+ kids in kindergarten alone (split into three classrooms).