Star Wars 7 shit talk

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i like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1pn4bTAQWA

a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 18:53 (eight years ago) link

I also am interested in the voice talking to Ren at the beginning and end "Who are you?" "The force, it's calling to you. Just let it in." Do we know who that voice is?

It's Disney telling you to open your wallets. You know you want to see this movie anyways, just let it happen.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 18:55 (eight years ago) link

honestly Lucas should have done this after Empire. we would be on the 2nd reboot of the entire franchise by now.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 18:56 (eight years ago) link

man there are a lot of characters in this movie, huh? i mean there are enough new actors to fill equivalents to all the roles in the original trilogy... plus the actors from that trilogy as well. seems like it'd be overstuffed along the lines of a lot of contemporary franchise films. i predict lots of manic cross-cutting.

wizzz! (amateurist), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 20:12 (eight years ago) link

as long as they give Ello Asty a proper arc

Number None, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 20:39 (eight years ago) link

those old-timey serial wipes better be doubletime

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 20:41 (eight years ago) link

they could alternate left- and right-wipes, and then parody the fast-paced nature mid film by doing both at the same time and meeting in the middle

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 20:45 (eight years ago) link

the wipes in the trailer really bothered me actually, they don't really achieve an "old-timey" effect for me and look power-pointish

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 20:50 (eight years ago) link

is Lobot in this

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:00 (eight years ago) link

finally the only question that matters

a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:09 (eight years ago) link

Best part of that RLM bit was the background chatter where they are trying to identify the character based on the ... feminine garb? And then one guys says "you know, there might be more than one girl in this movie." And the other guy goes "well, it is Star Wars."

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:18 (eight years ago) link

Lobot is in that Lando comic series

it is sad, though

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:18 (eight years ago) link

don't cry, Lobot!

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:19 (eight years ago) link

one of the many cool things about Kershner's direction of TESB: no explanations. Here's a weird bald mute dude wearing headphones who sleeps standing up and awakens suddenly when someone calls. Maybe it was a cool New Wave tune idk

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:31 (eight years ago) link

big Gary Numan fan iirc

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:32 (eight years ago) link

collect em all

http://theswca.com/db/stephane/lobot_mecc_esb.jpg

wizzz! (amateurist), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:32 (eight years ago) link

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/what-if-the-new-star-wars-sucks-too-1737539377

this is a pretty on point article.

nomar, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:34 (eight years ago) link

those dr dre headphones are a real eye opener for sure imo

nomar, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:35 (eight years ago) link

I used Lobot often during the eighties, often as fleet commander/human collaborator with Transformers, Thundercats, etc.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:35 (eight years ago) link

Best part of that RLM bit was the background chatter where they are trying to identify the character based on the ... feminine garb? And then one guys says "you know, there might be more than one girl in this movie." And the other guy goes "well, it is Star Wars."

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, October 20, 2015 4:18 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The original trilogy is kind of fueled by a subtext of everyone sexually competing for Leia -- Luke, Han, Vader, Jabba, Lando, even the Storm Troopers.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:36 (eight years ago) link

were you a teenage lobotomy?

wizzz! (amateurist), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:36 (eight years ago) link

xpost

wizzz! (amateurist), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:36 (eight years ago) link

and three of the worst major motion pictures ever made.

oh come on

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:36 (eight years ago) link

Identical all-white drones, more like Sperm Troopers amirite?

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:36 (eight years ago) link

that part is probably overstated since ROTS is legit solid for the most part, but i also remember the rictus grin i wore at the end of phantom menace and for most of AOTC

nomar, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:38 (eight years ago) link

Further symbolisim in the x-wings running down a shaft in order to penetrate a giant egg. I could really run with this.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:38 (eight years ago) link

ROTJ is inert for reasons that have nothing to do with Ewoks.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:41 (eight years ago) link

my favorite part of Jedi is when obi-wan's ghost sits down on a log

nomar, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:42 (eight years ago) link

Alec Guinness, exhausted by the doggerel.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:44 (eight years ago) link

I've a childhood memory of three quarters of the audience bursting out laughing when Obi-Wan gives Luke his "what I told you was true...from a certain point of view" and Luke says A CERTAIN POINT OF VIIIEW?

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:45 (eight years ago) link

lol

Also, the Leia-as-sister thing is a fatal mistake, too; it forces us to understand both Vader and Obi-Wan as complete idiots. Vader stood face-to-face with his own daughter at multiple junctures of the first film and never once noticed a resemblance to himself or his dead wife—the woman with whom, according to the prequel trilogy, he’d been in love since he was eight years old? He never once detected that the Force was strong with this one? A random astromech droid shows up at Obi-Wan’s hut in the company of Darth Vader’s secret son, spits out a video recording of that son’s secret sister, and Obi-Wan doesn’t even blanch or bat an eyelash at this? Doesn’t even notice that Darth Vader’s secret son clearly has the hots for his own fucking sister? These people are fucking morons!)

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:46 (eight years ago) link

Trailer doesn't reveal if they're bringing back Ice Cream Maker Guy.

http://threads.rebelscum.com/photogallery/data//1451/willrow3.jpg

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 21:47 (eight years ago) link

Incest is more or less acceptable in the star wars universe

The Once-ler, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:11 (eight years ago) link

the thing with beating up on jedi is, yeah, it's not as good as empire but to move it down to the level of the prequels is basically like saying "i have never seen any other movies." specifically any other 80s fantasy or sci-fi adventure type movies. it towers above all of them, at the very least by virtue of the craft of an enormous design/effects team running basically round the clock and pulling out every trick in their toolbelts. okay, it's not blade runner, and it's not raiders of the lost ark... but everything else you could plausibly pitch it against, i think it comes out looking really good. it's not super focused and lucas/marquand (but seemingly mainly lucas) don't really have any big new ideas - hence such bad moves as "another death star" (but damn, that space battle, lando's big bombing run) and "leia's your sister" (i don't really care about this but sure, yeah, it creates pointless plot holes)... but it's fine, it's all fine, and in its best moments it produces star wars ~feelings~.

so even though we all agree the ewoks aren't so good now, it seems clear to me that if the new movie were as good as return of the jedi, that would be basically the rousing best-case scenario, return to classic old-school filmmaking etc. etc. nobody is seriously imagining something as good as empire being made in 2015; that unique mix of 70s hollywood and special-effects super-adventure is not coming back. the main thing it has to achieve is not just feeling like a disposable 2010s remake where everybody either immediately forgets it happened (like new total recall, new robocop) or hates it forever (like... the star wars prequels). getting past that point is the bare minimum for this to not feel so empty and hollow that it's as damaging to our impressions of the franchise as the prequels. somewhere between that minimum, and the "feels of a piece with return of the jedi" point could be about what i was hoping the prequels would be, back in 1997/98.

who knows? it's not impossible even with the bajillions of dollars sloshing around that it could be decent, good, or even very good. they'll never be necessary but the integrity-of-the-series ship already sailed with the prequels, so like i said when these new movies first got announced, the worst case scenario is actually a good one: a glut of bad latter-day star wars movies de-centers the prequels and detaches everything post-Jedi as "the later ones" that you really obviously don't have to watch to experience star wars. it'll be like the Oz books or the Boxcar Children, or direct-to-video sequels to kids' animated movies. the more Land Before Times there are (13, with #14 coming next year), the more clearly the first one comes into focus as the only Land Before Time.

Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:12 (eight years ago) link

rotj does not "tower" over conan the barbarian or the road warrior

balls, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:17 (eight years ago) link

Casino

https://media.giphy.com/media/ehnBGPgDOusUM/giphy.gif

Number None, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:22 (eight years ago) link

so even though we all agree the ewoks aren't so good now,

No. We don't! The biggest problems are pace and editing, which are the same problem. Thanks to the decision to hurry through basic plot points, none of the characters interact. Lando and Han? "Good luck -- you're gonna need it!" Leia and Han? "I love you. I know," pt. 2. The Vader-Luke scenes are awful, the Luke-Palpatine atrocious ("Soon I'll be dead. And you with me" -- huh?).

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:27 (eight years ago) link

okay i did forget the road warrior. conan, i dunno. it's good though. maybe "towers" is a bit much. it's definitely better than return to oz and the neverending story... though there's a lot good in both, especially in terms of the creepiness of the first and the sheer bleakness of the latter, which petersen clearly got from empire and from which jedi could have taken some cues. it's WAY better than labyrinth, "towers" is fair there. haven't seen dark crystal. it's better than dune, even if the design work and a few performances in that could have really helped it out.

Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:29 (eight years ago) link

https://instagram.com/p/9DN_LbsCtp/
okay, i like this guy

a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:30 (eight years ago) link

it seems clear to me that if the new movie were as good as return of the jedi, that would be basically the rousing best-case scenario, return to classic old-school filmmaking etc. etc.

ROTJ is garbage school filmmaking. The first Star Wars is classic whatever.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:30 (eight years ago) link

Best bit of Ewok trivia is that not once in the film are they ever referred to as Ewoks, and yet, we all know they are called Ewoks. Hmm ...

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:30 (eight years ago) link

No. We don't! The biggest problems are pace and editing, which are the same problem.

^^^^ otfm

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:31 (eight years ago) link

lonely guy just angry baout things

https://twitter.com/TexanDMVLyfter/status/656596931251183616
https://twitter.com/TexanDMVLyfter/status/656597088361435136

goole, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:33 (eight years ago) link

Biggest prob I have with "Jedi" - apart from everything else - is that the film stock has shifted from that cool, gritty '70s look to that gross '80s look.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:33 (eight years ago) link

yeah everything bad about the ewoks came in the stuff after rotj, plus most of that is fanboys angry they didn't get some wookiee action. well they can take that wookiee and stick it up their yeah!

balls, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:34 (eight years ago) link

I liked the pace

The Once-ler, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:35 (eight years ago) link

like I don't think there's really that much conceptually wrong with any of the "new" stuff that showed p in ROTJ - Jabba and his crew, the ewoks, general lobster, new death star = sure why not, they're not any more or less ludicrous than stuff in the first movie (ewoks are basically cuter ugnaughts, which are basically just a riff from the Wizard of Oz), it's that storywise it's a slapped together mess. events just sort of happen in the clumsiest manner imaginable.

xxp

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 22:36 (eight years ago) link


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