start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

people who have their phones UP TO THEIR FACE yet talk on speaker, please die

cosign

when u order something online and they start sending u catalogs in the mail

people who have their phones UP TO THEIR FACE yet talk on speaker, please die

Close kin to the people who have conversations like so:

1) Hold phone up to face horizontally, shout directly into bottom of phone
2) Move phone around skull so bottom of phone is pointing directly at ear when other person is talking
3) Return phone to shouting position

yes that is actually what this person was doing! what the fuck!

and this girl was like 25 so i'm not buying the hard of hearing defense with which some brave captain will surely swoop in to save her

My kids have discovered Facetime.

Nothing like hanging out, socks up on the desk and looking at weird tumblr, when lo and behold, it's the floating head of my mother next to me, being held aloft by one of the brats.

1) Hold phone up to face horizontally, shout directly into bottom of phone
2) Move phone around skull so bottom of phone is pointing directly at ear when other person is talking
3) Return phone to shouting position

Is this some kind of "I wont get cancer this way, so there!" stupidity?

...which reminds me, my bf's kids mother wont let the 2 kids have phones, why because cancer. nrrrrgh.

Trying to woodturn in a limited space in a classroom with a lousy layout. So there's a not very wide space 3 or 4 feet deep that you're occupying and trying to coordinate holding a gouge properly to cut with. Other people keep trying to walk through the same space for no apparent reason, suddenly appearing inches away from you either in front or behind you and expecting you to move out of their way or jogging your elbow. So you can't concentrate on what you're trying to do.
Otherwise, bad enough that I keep catching the wood with the gouge as I try to take my hand away. Gouging a surface that I thought I'd mainly finished. So having to go back and trying to smooth off an area that now has a trench cut into it. Took up time I should have spent elsewhere and meant I totally reshaped what I was cutting.
Also sneezing for ages from the sawdust in the air. Or glasses steaming up when I put on a nose/mouth mask. There were points yesterday when I couldn't see at all.

1) Hold phone up to face horizontally, shout directly into bottom of phone
2) Move phone around skull so bottom of phone is pointing directly at ear when other person is talking
3) Return phone to shouting position

You don't know her life. She could have been a contestant on the Apprentice

She coulda been a contenda!

Traffic controllers who a) seem distracted and disinterested and/or b) give contradictory signals to easily-confused motorists and/or c) are working an intersection with functioning lights. The ones I encounter generally seem to encompass all of the above criteria. Cue IA.

it's a lost art

yeah the apprentice is where i first spotted that kind of behavior xps

- People who request a read receipt for EVERY EMAIL including replies. Yeah thanks you pompous mothereffer.

maybe they have attachment issues

sat down with half an hour to finish off the last 20 pages of the book i was reading this morning. hadn't figured on the last dozen pages being 'thank you' from the author. left high and dry after 10 minutes.

worse imo: 300 page book ends on page 280 on a cliffhanger, next 20 pages are a "preview" of the next book and an assortment of adverts for other books

(I read some crap-to-mediocre SF book which did this; the second half of the book I was limping along going "well I've got this far, I may as well finish it to see what happens" but noooo)

(I don't remember what the book was but it turned out to have been published on the same industrial estate I work on; they're lucky I was reading it as a Christmas holiday take-on-family-visits book or I might have been tempted to drop in)

Aaggghh fuck you kindle books "27 mins left in book" "87%" ... "read on for a preview of his next book!"
I want to know when i'm near the end goddammit

― kinder, Thursday, July 23, 2015 10:09 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes! though the cliffhanger "read the next two not-yet-published books to find out what really happens!" last sentence was an extra kick in the should've-stopped-reading-on-page-30 pants

especially when I have so many other books lying around which I really did stop reading on page 30 for no particular reason

attention spans are difficult

i will know better for next time

i usually read public domain stuff which i reformat myself - no surprises. actually, part of the reason i started reformatting things before reading them was the 8 pages of legal bumpf at the end of gutenberg texts (and their shitty tocs and cover pages)

my kobo seems to have stopped telling me percentages when asleep. it still puts the crappy banner saying 'sleeping' over the cover, but now it contains no useful information.

people who insist on instantly stopping dead in their tracks when they're right in front of you at a theme park

being at a theme park

theme parks

When it's science fiction, assume it's a trilogy. I swear they're not even publishing stand-alone books anymore unless you're, like, Neal Stephenson.

Yeah that shit has totally ruined the pleasure of picking up a random SF book at a thrift store or used book shop. I have to track down two more volumes? No thanks

mysteries are the same way now too, loads of detective series of every stripe

Mystery series I don't mind 'cause they're usually stand-alone enough that you don't need to read them in chronological order. I've been dipping into John Sandford's Prey books for a year or so now, and there are like two dozen of those, and/but the only real way to tell where each one falls in the series is that occasionally he'll drop in a mention of something that happened in a previous book, or he'll tell you how old a given character is at that point. But the stories themselves are always single-serving.

SF novels of the young adult variety, are all trilogies now cos these authors want their stories to get picked up as a movie franchise. now that crap like Divergent and Maze Runner are also getting multi-film deals like Hunger Games.

To the extent that this "omg Starbucks cups are only red and green this season and do not feature intensely religious iconography like snowflakes and reindeer, it is another assault on Christianity!!!" thing is a legitimate outcry, it makes me want to burn the earth down to its molten core.

When you do, write three books about it.

irrational, and more a bit irritated than angry, but:
One of my NCT (new mum group) friends was telling someone about my house while I was there, and said 'ooh, you invited us over and said you weren't sure you'd have enough room but it's massive compared to ours!' I'm lucky enough to have a fairly spacious living area and really feel conscious of this as most of my friends are in small apartments, so I never ever would have said this - other mums said it a lot, what I had said was 'there's plenty of room at ours, you're welcome to come when we have sofas', which we didn't have for a while after building work, and then we did get some and everyone came over. I'm a bit annoyed that she thought I was so blasé about it when I've always been conscious of it being roomy enough.
eh, it doesn't matter.

This new thing that websites do where a screen-filling popup emerges when you're on the brink of leaving, vomiting 6-12 additional links at you in a desperate "Don't leave! Look at this, and this, and this!" move, drives me BERSERK.

Ha, our pub family recently put these on our sites too. We were all impressed that they don't pop up until your cursor starts flying northwest back to the top.

They do suck, but at least you don't have to click OK like the real pop-ups.

the google tensorflow logo. the top of the F isn't in the same plane as the crossbar of the F.

To the extent that this "omg Starbucks cups are only red and green this season and do not feature intensely religious iconography like snowflakes and reindeer, it is another assault on Christianity!!!" thing is a legitimate outcry

Well it isnt really, as it transpires.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/11/10/1448007/-Simply-Red-The-Con-Man-Behind-the-Rightwing-s-Starbucks-Cup-Freak-Out

People who live and work in the city, get married, move out of the city to the biggest McMansion they can afford, then complain about their work commute. CAUSE AND EFFECT, MOTHERFUCKER.

this was probably already covered but...

when a web page is loading (slowly) and you try to click on a link, but then new content loads that causes your link to shift and you click on something else instead

the absolute worst. think i mentioned this sometime in recent years.

nothing worse than this has ever happened to anyone.

I'm clearly suffering from Early Onset Grumpiness. I find myself more and more frequently IA about all kinds of things. I think my patience for nonsense in general has basically bottomed out.

me too, I got IA in Boots today (big drugstore chain) at the amount of 'gift' bath & body stuff. aisles of it. and I say this as someone who quite likes beauty products. I just think the world would be better if only the best 10% of them existed.

people who sit at the goddamn vending machine poring over every product as if they're at a Michelin star restaurant poring over world-class dinner options and not merely deciding if they want their M&Ms with or without fucking peanuts

"Your estimated delivery date is:
Sunday, November 15, 2015"

not going to happen, because that is obviously a work address and the office is closed at the weekend. LIKE IT WAS THE PREVIOUS 3 TIMES.

it's a complete waste of their time but i can't see a way of pointing this out to them.

Online grocery delivery substituted 2 items due to them being out of stock. But subbing them with COMLPETELY DIFFERENT THINGS is not how its meant to work, ffs. I ordered celery salt. you gimme another brand, or you dont gimme it. I dont want or need garlic salt, wtf even is that. Likewise, thanku for subbing my requested hard/high proteien flour with THE EXACT OPPOSITE (00 cake flour which I already had).

Oh and no thanks also for not even sending the bag of rice, which you had advertised as a big ticket sale item, but were completely out of. Thanks for telling me.

F U ColesOnline :(

When people justify really bad, implausible writing in biopics/historical fiction with "artistic license" or "reality doesn't always make good fiction."

"Abraham Lincoln's childhood reads better if his parents were both run over by a train engineered by Gavin Booth"

I get up to get off at a bus stop that the bell has been rung for. Some woman in too tall heels sits back down after realising this isn't her stop but sticks her foot right across the walkway, so it's not easy to get past while the bus is moving. Another large woman starts telling the bus driver she doesn't want to get off at the stop, blocking the walkway past the driver while she does so so the bus takes off again without stopping long enough at a stop that several people normally get off at.
& it's pissing down with the rain one might probably expect at this time of year.

But at least I'm not in a European capital city so I guess I'm otherwise safeish.

& my washing machine has decided to pack up right at the time that the building I'm living in is being sold. So really hope I'm going to get another one. Otherwise would be sticking my soaking clothing into wash.

seriously: fuck you, autocorrect on my phone. you think I typed 'shane' and of all the alternative suggestions you don't include 'shame'. THE M IS RIGHT NEXT TO THE N

lol. i hate when my phone suddenly autocorrects every word into beginning with a capital letter. it's arbitrary when it decides to do this