ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

Yeah highly recommend safety latches and burner knob covers.

Of course she knows how they work but she lacks the finger strength to push the buttons at the same time.

Yeah, we have one of those on the oven, plus burner knob covers, a toilet lock, those things you put on top of a door to keep the door from closing on tiny fingers, a different kind of cabinet lock on the TV cabinet (which she nearly tore off the other day because she thought the DVD cases were books, so she's pulling on the lock with all of her weight screaming "ABCs!!!! ABCs!!!!") and nothing that we care about 40 inches or less from the ground.

We keep the bathroom door closed, but have duct tape over the inside knob lock in case we forget to close the door because she loves to run into the bathroom and close the door (and then shout "KNOCK KNOCK" from inside).

We're trying to figure out what to do about our nice, high pile shag rugs now (they disguise little tiny coins and beads and parts REALLY well). We're thinking just cover with some playmats and vacuum frequently.

We put padding on our TV stand to protect the boys from its sharper edges. It lasted all of 36 hours before it was all pulled off and chewed upon.

Of course, the reality is, whatever childproofing you have or don't have, NEVER TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THEM, so the childproofing stuff is secondary backup.

I do think the padding around the sharp edges/corners of our coffee table was worth it though, K has run into it a lot of times.

also get some kind of playpen and/or gated area that you can leave them in for rare times that you do have to take your eyes off.

Oh yeah, I forgot about the corner bumpers and the TV strap - http://www.diapers.com/p/kidco-anti-tip-tv-strap-black-2-ct-25138?noappbanner=true&utm_source=Diapers_SG&utm_medium=PDP_SG&utm_campaign=di-sg-to-mobile&utm_term=tv%20child%20safety%20strap

If you don't do anything else, lock the cabinets with poison in them and secure your TV to the wall with one of those TV straps.

Yeah those tv straps are gold. We have a newish tv in a spare bedroom that we havent strapped down and i watched it almost topple over the other day.

We wanted to mount the TV anyway so we just went ahead and did it once the boys (really D) chewed all the padding off of the TV stand

We also inherited a giant play yard from friends that has been a GODSEND, also we got one of these which has been a portable GODSEND: http://www.summerinfant.com/popnplayportableplayard

my wife and kids are currently at my in-laws' house in OH where the kids have:

- received new All-Stars
- learned how to say "crab cake"

we already have to watch everything J does as he can crawl like lightning. We have one room we set up as pretty 'safe' for him to be in if I need to go downstairs (plus we have a playpen next to the kitchen which I could not live without). Anyway he was in the safe room (oh yeah, we now have nowhere to hang laundry on racks) and I thought I'd closed the door well enough to keep him contained but lo and behold about 10 seconds later I checked on him and he'd escaped to the bathroom and had his hands in the toilet OF COURSE

- received new All-Stars

YESSSSSS

- learned how to say "crab cake"

YYYYYESSSSSSSSSS

I have more or less mastered the classic dad move of napping through kids' movies.
I am also bizarrely proud of this milestone!

Crucial skill imo

Dont ask me what happens in those harry potter movies all i remember is ian brown cameo

ohio crab cakes?

To hear my mother tell it, she once took her eyes off my then-a-toddler little sister for five minutes and the next thing she knew the kid had scaled the antique upright grand piano using the music rack and wooden carvings as footholds, pushed all the piles of sheet music onto the floor 5 feet below, and was wailing because now she's bored and wants down.

I of course never did anything of the sort.

Ok, you guys know the one about stepping on a lego (or any other toy really) in the dark? This morning I was blithely bounding down the steps, ready to greet the new day, when I came down hard on the edge of a rolled up slap bracelet.

http://www.partypalooza.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/HalloweenSlapBracelet.jpg

You guys remember slap bracelets? Flexible stainless steel covered by a thin plastic sheath. Last seen in the wild circa 1989, getting confiscated in class by my fifth grade teacher. Well, those are back apparently. It was like stomping on a cookie cutter.

yow

:(

shit ow ow ow ow

Yeah, I took off my socks for the first time since I left for work and still have a circular bruise. It broke the skin slightly in just one little spot. When it happened, I had to double-check to make sure it hadn't sliced right into my foot.

took the wee one for a first visit to nursery today (one hour with me). He hated it and I feel awful... he's a shy type and it's so noisy and chaotic...

How's life: ouch! That sucks.

kinder: don't feel guilty yet. The first trip is going to be traumatic but it will get easier on him.

So we have friends who are from abroad and have no family and not many friends here and we offered to watch their son (3) when the mom goes into labor with baby #2. It just happened, and he's gonna stay in our apt tonight after he gets out of daycare. I keep thinking that it's weird that I'm gonna have to wipe the butt of some kid I don't know very well, although I guess that's what preschool teachers do all day.

Do you know how to speak his language??

update: may not happen after all, the dad may just come to stay with him for the night. FWIW he speaks some English bc he's in an English preschool, but my wife also speaks his language.

designated butt wiper

Everyone in our house has just had the flu, but it doesn't slow Ella down in the slightest.

can i just say, i LITERALLY have no idea how any of you who are single parents do this. especially if you have more than one kid.

Um, some dad at K's preschool today started talking about how it was important for a girl not to be the oldest in the class, but ok for a boy. Has anyone ever heard this before? I have no idea what he was talking about, and he probably didn't feel like explaining after I was like "Um, my daughter is the oldest."

She's actually not literally the oldest, but she's like #2 or #3. And she's also tall for her age -- is this some kind of a height/different development speed thing? I was the youngest in my class and hated it, but it never occurred to me that there would be some gender aspect to this.

that is bizarre

Is it some kind of dating thing? I mean she can date someone a little younger imo (I'm 6 mos younger than my wife) and she can also date someone a grade up, like plenty of people do, so I am really perplexed, yet obviously anytime a parent drops shit like that on you you start to worry about it.

preschool does seem to be about the right time to sort out dating rules

my thoughts exactly

I'm just confused. Never heard anything like that.

lol djp

fwiw I don't know this dad well but always got a douchey vibe from him, including having noticed him ogling/hitting on moms at the school.

btw D figured out how to climb out of the portable play yard today

RIP D, it is only a matter of time before you find a way to kill yourself at your grandparents' half-childproofed house

Just be proud of his talents, and never take your eyes off him ever.

also wrap him in bubble-wrap

I will pass that all on to my wife, who is there with them while I'm back home working

Judah is in a strange phase lately. We were having tons of trouble getting him to go to bed/stay in his room/go to sleep, but then we got rid of all his pacifiers and now he goes right to sleep. wtf.

on the downside, he has also recently "discovered how strong he is" (as his pre-K teacher says) and now he's realized that it's actually kind of really hard for one of us to physically restrain him if we need to do - so now he's throwing shit, hitting people, scratching etc. I mean not all the time, but when he's upset or doesn't want to do something this is a thing he's now discovered he can do. fun times...

nb: I am not always great at following my own advice to never take my eyes off them, in spite of having a rowdy 3.5 yr old and a fragile 5 mo old.

I'm much better at it than my wife is, which is part of what is currently worrying me

shakey: start lifting bro

start with the kid

eh I'm just getting one of these, tell him to "punch the clown" whenever he feels like hitting something
https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fkidtimes.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fbozo-and-boppers.jpg%3Fw%3D460&f=1