ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

Judah is in a strange phase lately. We were having tons of trouble getting him to go to bed/stay in his room/go to sleep, but then we got rid of all his pacifiers and now he goes right to sleep. wtf.

on the downside, he has also recently "discovered how strong he is" (as his pre-K teacher says) and now he's realized that it's actually kind of really hard for one of us to physically restrain him if we need to do - so now he's throwing shit, hitting people, scratching etc. I mean not all the time, but when he's upset or doesn't want to do something this is a thing he's now discovered he can do. fun times...

nb: I am not always great at following my own advice to never take my eyes off them, in spite of having a rowdy 3.5 yr old and a fragile 5 mo old.

I'm much better at it than my wife is, which is part of what is currently worrying me

shakey: start lifting bro

start with the kid

eh I'm just getting one of these, tell him to "punch the clown" whenever he feels like hitting something
https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fkidtimes.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fbozo-and-boppers.jpg%3Fw%3D460&f=1

bouncer is part of your job description, they don't tell you that at the hospital

it is kind of alarming how strong a 2 1/2 ft tall 3yo can be

oh yes. I remember a morning when I literally could not get her into her stroller to go to school and just kind of gave up until she calmed down.

right? Not long ago if I needed him to do something/go somewhere and he refused well I could just pick him up. nowadays if he doesn't want to go up the stairs and insists on lying on the landing instead I just wait til he gets bored.

you also have to develop special holds/carries to avoid getting kicked

That's the thing, he might only weigh like 40lbs, but it's 40lbs with momentum in all directions at the same time. I sometimes think they should develop a dynamic workout based on a device that moves like a tantrumming toddler.

Not re tantrums, but I know that in one study they got athletes to lie down next to pre-walking babies, and copy all their arm/leg movements, and the athletes got exhausted waaay before the muscle-building babbies did.

all of you with the little one, I hope you don't get the combination of newly grasped strength + teething-related love for biting that my littlest called the "Old Buffet", in which she'd yell those words and chase us in order to bite us hard, like we were the buffet. some of us still have scars.

When J is tired, he wants me to pick him up. When I do so, he bites my collarbone. This is not actually cute.

baby teeth second only to baby nails in list of World's Sharpest Things

omg those fucking nails, and they are so hard to trim

I let E (teething) gnaw on my index finger like it was a chicken bone sometimes -- it sort of hurts and is adorable at the same time.

I used to cut beatle's nail while she was asleep

the same dad who said the weird stuff about how it was bad for girls to be one of the oldest ones in the class and how girls need to be held back a year just told me tonight that Europe should just build a wall to keep the muslims out. Racism aside, I just can't even fathom the stupidity.

Old Buffet! Is a great line

Holy fucking shit it's expensive to have an out-of-home kids' bday party.

Yeah, we spent nearly $200 to have one at my son's kung fu school once.

lol $200, this is NYC

And I mean even in Queens, it's like, relative shitholes cost $400 for a package that may or may not include everything you actually need.

for J's birthdays we've always done playgrounds, brought our own snacks or ordered a bunch of pizzas. his bday is in september though so weather has always been nice. F's birthday is in march so idk what we'll do

I wonder how much my parents spent to have our parties at chuck e cheese back in the day. we always halfass our birthday parties, except the year we went to one of the world's best restaurants (tm) in a rural basque town. that was more than $200 too.

Yeah, ours is February so a picnic is out of the question, and we don't want to do it at home because apartment/problems with downstairs neighbor.

Yeah it also makes me wonder how much my Chuck E Cheese and gymnastics center bday parties cost.

When I say relative shitholes, I mean these dinky little rooms where the paint a piece of plaster as their activity, and everyone gets a headache because there is nothing to absorb sound on any surface.

We haven't done one like that since, but attended one at a place called MyGym that was really fun. The base cost is $275.

yeah birthdays are tricky - ours are in the winter, which means odds are free/outdoor spaces are just not gonna work. But renting some space out and having a ton of people over is $$$. So we've made a deal with Veronica that we'll alternate celebrations: one year she can have a big party w all her friends somewhere (chuck e. cheese etc.), the next year she gets to choose something special to do with just family or 1 or 2 friends. Kinda minimizes the damage.

Oh wait, that varies by location and I was looking at North Carolina. No idea on what our friends paid.

in the past we've done PumpItUp (inflatable playspace), Chuck E. Cheese, and bowling. all have cost several hundred dollars.

Not to be a buzzkill or a jerk or a "back in my day" person but you don't have to have a birthday party, either. Like, growing up we always had something I liked a lot for dinner, plus cake, and some presents. Happy birthday to me! I am pretty sure I had a slumber party or two when I was older, but no kid's parties.

Which isn't to say that they aren't fun but it's clearly really stressful and expensive and there's nothing saying you have to have one.

We had a joint "party" for Ivy and NA's youngest last Sunday (their birthdays are the 17th and 18th) that consisted of NA, wife of NA, their two kids, and the three of us. A few balloons, some cupcakes, beer for the adults, macaroni and cheese bites for the kids. It was really nice.

Yeah, our kung fu party was like, his ONE big party when he was 5. Every time since then, we've gone for a small family party or a shared experience with a friend instead.

xp: and happy bday to Ivy and NA's kid!

:D Thank you!

Which isn't to say that they aren't fun but it's clearly really stressful and expensive and there's nothing saying you have to have one.

yeah I totally agree, the "competitive" parenting thing tends to obscure this

do not "get" competitive parenting. we just don't give a fuck.

very true, u don't have to have a party. as a kid i remember only a handful of parties w/ my friends over, usually it was just family.

since we've done J's parties at playgrounds we've never had alcohol but let me tell you i am SO grateful when there is alcohol for adults at kids parties

not doing a bday party but our NCT group is having a general 'the babies are 1 and it's nearly Christmas' party at a PUB THAT HAS SOFT PLAY !

I think of it more as insecure parenting than competitive parenting, not really interested in outdoing anyone but I definitely feel a sense of "If my daughter doesn't have what other kids have I will have failed her."

Cecil's first birthday is tomorrow and the party will consist of three babies crawling around our house, two laying motionless, snacks and wine for the parents and a dog eating whatever scraps fall on the floor. Which is pretty boring but now feels extravagant since our power finally came back after being out since Tuesday evening.

i am SO grateful when there is alcohol for adults at kids parties
ha yeah, i'm just glad that my kid has reached the age where i am not really expected to hang around for other kids' b-day parties. just drop the kid off and slip away ...

yeah that's a blessing

Ohman I didn't have a party or even a cake for my son when he turned one this fall because I had a cold and was feeling overwhelmed by work and life. And my partner made a really good "trial" cake the week before so it felt like we'd pre-celebrated? Lol. We sang happy birthday and had a good dinner and I got him some wood blocks he really likes and grandparents sent presents of course. I feel guilty anyway and blame stupid Facebook for that. People just go all out! Seeing it all makes me feel like an emotional yet unsentimental alien :/

I plan on making it up to him when he's old enough to go go-carting and indoor climbing on his birthday.

1yo bday parties are for chumps - 1yo can't eat cake/has no idea what's going on

if by chumps you mean parents then otm