Dating With Mental Illness

dumb of me to expect this thread to have any sliver of hope in it

how did we not embed the Magnetic Fields in this thread yet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EP0aEHaeHi8

dumb of me to expect this thread to have any sliver of hope in it

― The Fart in Our Stalls (Abbott), Sunday, November 22, 2015 7:47 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sort of. the ice cream girl was normal in the hospital, though. it was beautiful. we pulled a heist and stole oranges from the kitchen at 10:30pm. I put it in her hoodie. little gorgeous girl and I walked past the nurses' station, with the orange in her hoodie, just to rub it in. we never got caught. there were cameras!

but, yeah. i see her sometimes, now. she only talks about the anti-christ, now.
i'd like to talk more about her better moments, and the special time we spent together in the hospital.

we hugged a lot. when the nurses couldn't see. ok. the nurses could see because there's cameras everywhere. but, i miss hugging her, in the hospital. i miss pretending to break out of the hospital with her, when we were still there! i miss hugging with her.

after we got out of the hospital since, we've hung out a bunch of times, but it isn't the same. she's worse now, without being fed her meds. we're not the same, anymore.

--

i could probably write a romance novel about our time in the hospital, together. there's so much. i frickin' love her. she's my baby! i'll always be there for her. :D

not to sound condescending, but if you wrote a YA romance with this subject, my students would eat it up

wow i was sitting at a bar earlier (shutup) and two people on their first date sat right next to me. i think (?) one of them was this flirty pretty waitress i've had on/off low intensity crush on for awhile and... i feel ok

mm: i think its a mistake to think that if you have lots of problems that you are dealing with, then other people will not want to be around you. a huge aspect of depression, as i understand it, is the inability to see all the things you have to offer others, and the inability to believe them when they tell you that you're in some ways, at least outwardly, doing alright.

one thing you can do i think is to find resources that explain what you're going through to other people in your life. this list is hella cornball but i can't find some of the other stuff i've seen around: http://io9.com/10-comics-that-can-help-you-understand-mental-illness-1576917503

but yeah, i think it might help to send people like the hyperbole and a half comic or something, and ask them to try to just be aware of what its like, and make sure they know that your problems don't have to become theirs, and they don't need to fix everything -- just be understanding. someone i know sent me this stuff and it was very helpful in being able to understand them and how to interact.

i hope this isn't too forward giving advice here, but also there must be some way to medicate besides drinking. like if you find a good doctor you can talk to, they can find medications and control your doses for you. if you self-medicate that just means you have a poor untrained doctor who isn't in the best position to be making decisions about your health. if you need help, you can find people who are trained to help you, and if you need medication you can find people who can prescribe you what you need. the things you're posting to this thread about -- you're not going to find anything more than general advice here, and none of it will be as good as from people you can find and talk to in real life who are trained to understand what you're going through in a much deeper way.

Xp Abbott

Ouch. I always admired you

Also, I thought that if anyone would be understanding of a manic episode it would be you (i was reading the bipolar thread). There's nothing pleasant about getting no sleep and having to call in sick the next day because you feel terrible about your manic postings that hurt other people's feelings.

if anyone would understand unwanted attention, it'd be her, too. if someone tells you to fuck off, you don't tell them "you of all people should understand"

imo

the thing I try to hold to is the belief that if you do good things to the world, and treat others as they should be treated, you'll find things in the world that do well for you.

life will still take a dump on you occasionally, though, especially when you're in a rough spot.

way xps to aps, I will post on a procrastination thread... eventually! :)

When people bring me up and say things about me while I'm not around, I have a hard time saying nothing. Especially if it's something like "he's a walking talking dick that flings his dick in your face and keeps pictures of his dick in his wallet".

your response was basically "you should understand me" when someone told you that you were creepy

finding the door is a good life skill when dealing w/your own shit, imo

people should do whatever they want but it would be sad if they refused to listen to every angle so excuse me for having one

ok sorry to bring up old beefs from years ago
i really did drop a dookie in this thread, heh heh

it's not good to have a bete noire probably
i'm not david tennant; i can't really pull it off

oops meant neil tennant
david tennant couldn't have a bete noire right if he tried
and by david tennant i mean his character on the doctor who show

also i believe people are responsible for their shitty behavior during their mental ill ish and that includes me
i mean i've tried convincing my credit card company otherwise but they're having none of it

<3

mental illness has a hefty tab at the bar

and a shopping list a mile long

zuuhhhhhh.. well i asked a nice woman out on tinder the other day, she said yes, and i basically got all scared and haven't opened the tinder app since (let alone replied). lol at me.

sorry.
i'm sure i really did upset people last time i was drunk-posting itt.
i don't want to re-read it and find out, though.
but, i am sorry.

i'll expel myself from this thread for a while, now. i'm in my late-twenties, living in a small town atm, etc., so it's not like i'm dating/have the possibility to right now, anyway.
also, i know it was uncool of me to assume ownership of this thread, on a sort of broad topic, only because i started it. this thread is for anyone.
sorry about all that.

It's ok, we can all just watch that hard-hitting documentary benny & joon for tips in the meanwhile

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlmtpC2sRC8

sorry, monster mash

I haven't actually been reading this thread, because I'm worried about how badly I've pissed people off. I read very few posts here except for mine. I notice a couple posts, here and there, though. Thanks, brimstead.

Update: Ummm. I've been vegan for 12 years, and am 1/4 Native American (which I hate admitting because of the stigma), and I absolutely hate Thanksgiving (I got drunk all day today and posted a bunch of PETA stuff on Facebook, lol). Part of my family is 2/4 Native American. I feel like celebrating Thanksgiving, for part of my family, is entirely stupid, and akin to Jews celebrating Hitler's birthday.

Anyway: No one should be alone on Thanksgiving. I'm inviting the ice cream girl with schizophrenia over to my family's dinner tomorrow. I don't think she has anywhere to go. She's independently wealthy, but her family is horrible, just fucking horrible, and she lives alone, and her family is too horrible to deal with her.

We've hung out a few times since the hospital. I'd never touch her, for she's even more ill than I. I love her like a puppy. She used to wander outside my door, at the hospital, like a lost puppy dog. I hope my mom will let her come over. I don't know. She eats meat, is white, probably wants to celebrate Thanksgiving. I don't want her to be alone in her shitty little house. She doesn't even have a front door - it's off its hinges, and just leans against the space.

i should actually fix her door, now that i think about it. i guess it just never occurred to me to/or i didn't wanna be too involved or something.

i'll put it on my list of things to do (but fuck if i know if i actually will, the way things go).

xps to Abbott re Benny & Joon, I was going to look for a youtube of a young David Tennant (as mentioned by you elsewhere itt) in romance-in-mental-hospital-related 90s tv series "Taking Over The Asylum", but then I thought 1. I quite enjoyed it in the 90s 2. reading the wikipedia article, it was almost certainly objectively bad 3. keep a little nostalgic joy in my life by not seeing it ever again, why not

monster mash: sorry man. Stop worrying about this thread tho, it's fine and nobody knows who you are and who cares, etc. I know, easier said than done.

And I know drinking makes untreated mental health issues seem more livable-with but in my experience (admittedly of problems of a different size and nature) it also makes treating them harder, so if you are able to get yourself some help for the PTSD it would be worth also seeking help to cut down, but yes again easier said than done

I hope your Thanksgiving is going well; it was nice of you to invite the ice cream girl.

So how about this: the government stops the proper support workers in your region, cos you're in the shire not the city, cutbacks and such, and instead gives you money to hire your own carer. So OBVIOUSLY you hire yon young lassie you know from the pub, the one you have done joint halloween costumes with two years running, but NEVER made a move on, far too young, born in the 90s fucksake. But she works as a carer so she's qualified, right? The main part of the job is to come round, check I've not killed myself, make sure I did the dishes and hoovered the carpet and such, cos IF YOU DON'T MAINTAIN YOUR HOUSE THE GOVERNMENT WILL TAKE IT AWAY and you have to go live in the sheltered housing, right?
Then you decide you are in love with this lassie, but now she won't sleep with you anymore cos professionalism and such, also too young, but she still comes round for the designated sessions, then drives to pub and gets drunk with you (after she is finished working, professionalism mind) and I forget where I was going with this. Also I think wrong monstermash thread. I am not monstermash btw. I guess my question is... I donno. I forget. (was asking for a friend anyway)

too true m8

keep hoovering the carpet mind u

My goodness, forget all the cricket vocab, if any one post highlights the difference between the UK and US, it's this one. :O

Oh I'm sorry, I was trying to keep this universal, if it makes you feel better I feel as foreign from certain English posters on here as I do the Americans. All I really want is to return to the west coast of Sweden but I am am banned from there for OUTSTANDING CRIMINAL CHARGES. I mean, I could return, but they reckon they will arrest me if I do. But they say I'm not worth deporting, or whatever the Swedish for that is, don't make me find the paperwork. Ach, I donno what I'm doing with my life. I want to build a blanket fort, but I got INSTITUTIONALIZED last time I did that. I'll just lay on my sofa under a duvet til yon lassie comes back around...

Uhh

I have one small request, you stop saying 'yon lassie'?

All I really want is to return to the west coast of Sweden but I am am banned from there for OUTSTANDING CRIMINAL CHARGES. I mean, I could return, but they reckon they will arrest me if I do.

You're not c/o the Ecuadorean Embassy atm, are you?

i think there's a difference between 'dating' and getting mad your social worker (or whatever?) won't fuck you anymore but i'm old fashioned that way

^^^^

lol

i hope jonathan hellion mumble is just doing some ill advised schtick. if not, best of luck to you and please stay away from both sweden and that social worker.

UK terminology wd be "care worker" here as far as i can read it but y'know the other points stand

Yeah I think it says "personal assistant" on the contract but care worker is probably accurate. She works in the old peoples home the rest of the time. And there's nothing inappropriate about dating her, lots of people have their spouses/partners receiving money as official carers. The fact that she is only 21 is inappropriate to me tho that doesn't seem to bother her so much. Most days when she comes round I serenade her from the piano, which gets tough after a while cos I only know three chords and there aren't so many words that rhyme with her name, switching time signatures only covers up my deficiencies briefly.
I realised I miswrote in that last post, I meant "extradited", not "deported", does that make the situation any more acceptable? Everything I do is ill advised, but there is no schtick involved. Tho yon lassie that girl did laugh at me when I accidentally set myself on fire on Thursday. I'm sure she would have tried to extinguish me eventually if it had got out of hand. She is professional if nothing else.

Having someone you are in an established relationship with care for you is not the same as dating/sleeping with someone who is employed to care for you. A house-husband and a cleaner may perform the same tasks, but one is your spouse and one is your employee. Your ethical map may say it's okay, but don't be surprised if others disagree. Even without the ethics of the situation, it sounds like a recipe for nothing but distress on at least one side, probably both, and really really won't help you.

Sensible advice coming courtesy of someone who never does anything sensible, here.

Well, I was kinda in an "established relationship" with her, not like a romantic co-habiting relationship, but she was my drinking buddy and really my unpaid carer for like a year and a half, which is why I hired her, for the job interview I was looking for (in order) 1. someone I trust, 2. someone who is ok with cats, 3. someone who is ok with me smoking inside my tiny house. Most of the pre-designated carers I have had in the past have fell down on one or more of those criteria (and there have been a bunch, for some reason they kept quitting? One of them on his way out called me a "shallow-minded monster" and said that's why I'd never achieve anything in life. Imo THAT's the sort of carer I should be avoiding).
Oof, I have a feeling I will not be convincing any of youse on the wiseness of my path. But I shall probably continue down it anyway, cos when did I ever follow sensible advice? It is all appreciated nonetheless, mind.

I p much thought that's what you'd said but yknow ilx

it's going to make things worse if i say i was imagining you as ricky gervais in 'derek' which i watched one episode of because it was clear he was going to start some romance with the nice helper
sorry 4 judging

I have to get some thins off my chest, and I want to talk about my new (kinda) crush.

I've already had around 15 shots, today.

Here goes: The psychiatrist told my mom I have schizophrenia, ptsd, and depression. It's cool, but I don't think I have schizophrenia, or at least not much of it. I'm cool with the other two diagnoses, though. I've been to the mental hospital three or four times this year. I also have an alcohol problem. I normally wash my pills down with alcohol. I'm on Effexor, Paxil, Neurontin, and Risperidone. None of them do a fucking thing for me. I wish I could get benzos or lithium. But, I'm OK at hiding my mental illness, and I dress well, so psychiatrists don't always take my troubles seriously.

I have a crush on the girl, behind the counter, at the liquor store.

The time before last, I asked her what her tattoo said, she told me it said: "perfectly imperfect".
I know, don't judge.

I'm in a small town, though. This is what people are like.

She probably has a boyfriend.

I was there again today, and she said she hadn't seen me in a while. It seemed warm.

She turns me on, honestly.

So, next time: I'm thinking of making more small talk with her (like we already have), and being a little left-field and showing her my University ID and saying: "yeah, i drink a lot, but I went to a good school". (I went to an elite University). Maybe it will impress her. After that, and small talk, maybe I can slip her a small piece of paper with my number and full name (for Facebook)?

I don't know. She likes me platonically, but she probably has a boyfriend.
She really turns me on, honestly.

Anyway, even if she does have a boyfriend, I've been the other man a few times (I'm surprised I've not been killed yet), and I have a penchant for it.

So, next time I go to her liquor store, I'll have a good shave, haircut, and a nice sweater on. I'll show her my school ID during small talk, ask her more about her tattoos, and slip a note to her with my number and full name for Facebook.

I'm sure she'll contact me after that. But... It's... I don't know.

PS: I get away with things because I'm good-looking.

hey buddy we have a wdyll thread to figure out that kind of thing

I get away with things because I'm good-looking.

So you keep telling us.

Ha (xp)

Ignoring whether or not you should go for this girl (you have a drinking problem and she sells you booze -> this is probably not healthy), I should say that this -showing her my University ID and saying: "yeah, i drink a lot, but I went to a good school". (I went to an elite University) - is such a bad idea. You'll come across like an up-yourself douche. Bring up university if you want, but bring it up in conversation rather than flashing an emblem of it like that means something in itself. Where you went to university isn't important, what you got from it and what you're interested in is important. Does she study as well as work? What does she like?

its embarrassing but just be like i think your cute and seem cool would you like to go out with me? and see what she says? and if she says no then cool and if she says yes than even better

no defense.

i just think i can get away with it. (i'm gonna do it, next time).

i'm a fucking creep, and ill, but i have advantages.

i will probably not respond to the last few posts coherently, ever. but, i did read them.

thank you. especially emil.y

i'm a creep. i like talkin' though.