When I'm a little older maybe I'll gin up enough courage to tell my parents to back the fuck up.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 15 December 2015 20:48 (eight years ago) link
we lost control of whether santa is a thing a long time ago - it is not up to us - though we are occasionally solicited for advice about his methods and whether he is real, which we sidestep as wryly as possible
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 20:52 (eight years ago) link
i mean we never intended for octonauts and ninjago to become a thing either, but despite their not-realness they play an ever-present part in our lives
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 20:53 (eight years ago) link
BEEPS: "Can Santa read minds?"
ME: Me, playing along with the world's cruel trick on children just one more time. "Why, no, of course he can't."
― pplains, Tuesday, 15 December 2015 21:03 (eight years ago) link
lol ninjago
― how's life, Tuesday, 15 December 2015 21:05 (eight years ago) link
i've recently heard crap parents feed their kids like "santa has a meeting with all the parents"
that's what the santa myth needs. corporatizing. "every year we pay into a fund santa has set up and if you're good mommy & daddy will get a return when you're 18 to pay for college"
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 21:25 (eight years ago) link
"Santa left you this Powerpoint presentation so you can understand your deliverables this season."
― you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 21:26 (eight years ago) link
I kind of want to do that now
― you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 21:27 (eight years ago) link
"don't forget to file your TPS report on christmas eve"
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 21:28 (eight years ago) link
shhhh be quiet for Santa's webex honey
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 21:29 (eight years ago) link
more like:
"Make sure you update your FY16 good behavior goals by Dec 21 so Santa has time to review them and give me feedback before Christmas."
― you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 21:30 (eight years ago) link
do people in the states hang plush santas out their windows, like he's struggling to get inside the house? I think they're hilarious but I remember my son had a stage where he would build gingerbread houses with the chimney loaded with traps to keep santa the fuck away
― droit au butt (Euler), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 21:39 (eight years ago) link
we don't do Santa Claus at our house. presents come from people, people that require thank yous.
yea agreed, though we're fine w/ santa being like a fictional christmas dude who is part of stories we read together, but he is not the one giving presents because he is just a character in stories, he is not real. real people give presents. nobody comes down the chimney in real life but we are fine reading stories where that happens.
― marcos, Tuesday, 15 December 2015 21:53 (eight years ago) link
we definitely got a tree, i am not catholic or christian even though i was raised catholic, but we like having a tree, we have lots of family ornaments and the lights are nice
― marcos, Tuesday, 15 December 2015 21:54 (eight years ago) link
Same here exactly^^^
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 22:31 (eight years ago) link
I clearly remember telling my mum there is no Santa Claus. We were in the kitchen with mum's best friend when I made the earth shattering announcement. They both broke into hysterical laughter and one of them said 'Well there goes half your Christmas presents!! Hahahaha " and I remember think 'oh no! What have I done???'
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 22:34 (eight years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueVPUsyrT0s
― schwantz, Tuesday, 15 December 2015 23:12 (eight years ago) link
We went through this with
BEEPS: Is there really a tooth fairy?
ME: Do you really want me to tell you?
stare at each other for 30 seconds.
BEEPS: My friend from school got a two-dollar bill once.
― pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 00:49 (eight years ago) link
xp Parental death with betrayal frosting. Phoebe wins.
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 00:50 (eight years ago) link
I feel like I've told my tooth fairy story before but here it is: I started suspecting that there was no tooth fairy around 7 or 8 so one day when we were driving somewhere I asked my mom who the tooth fairy was. She said, "Who do you think she is?" and I guessed the name of a woman who used to live in the same apartment complex as us that my two-timing father had been sleeping with. So my mom was like, gritting her teeth and gripping the wheel, "Nope. It's me. I'm the tooth fairy."
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:03 (eight years ago) link
haha oh wow
― marcos, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:06 (eight years ago) link
loooooool
― how's life, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:07 (eight years ago) link
And you're all "You mean dad was sleeping with you too?"
― pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 03:17 (eight years ago) link
He did have a type (women who paid small children for teeth).
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:28 (eight years ago) link
fuck, that's hilarious
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:42 (eight years ago) link
haha carl that's awesome
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 06:01 (eight years ago) link
I'm not sure what my younger kid's take on Santa is. I'm definitely not taking an aggressively pro-Santa stance this time around though.― how's life, Tuesday, December 15, 2015 8:11 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― how's life, Tuesday, December 15, 2015 8:11 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Ok, day after I post this, I come home from work and the first thing I hear from her is "Daddy, unicorns are real!" Because apparently she'd seen this:
http://www.fox5dc.com/about-us/season-of-wishes/57638341-story
I've got a whole different problem now.
― how's life, Thursday, 17 December 2015 00:37 (eight years ago) link
Ella borrowed this book from the library in Septemberhttp://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/91KpE2-3cpL.jpgand it's been non-stop Father Christmas/Santa pretty much ever since, with occasional returns to the hardcore Betty Boop obsession she developed in seconds after watching a single old cartoon on our local community TV station
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Thursday, 17 December 2015 04:42 (eight years ago) link
wooooah, big image, sorry
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Thursday, 17 December 2015 04:43 (eight years ago) link
though, frankly, that's how big it looms in my life, so the rest of you can deal with it too
Kids get to open all their presents a day early, due to having actual xmas day at their mums. Open dozens and dozens of boxes of lego, skylanders, lego dimensions etc etc.
Kid 1 immediately goes to the WiiU and, ignornig all his new Skylanders, fires up Splatoon which he's had for ever.
Kid 2, when he realises he has to wait for the Dimensions game to update on the PS4, wails "I have nothing else to play with!" while surrounded by piles of new toys.
>:|
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 23 December 2015 22:56 (eight years ago) link
Welcome to parenthood, Trayce!
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Thursday, 24 December 2015 03:04 (eight years ago) link
*cries*
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Thursday, 24 December 2015 03:33 (eight years ago) link
"What was your favorite part of our trip to Thailand?"
"Playing video games in Bangkok with [friend's kid] Joey."
― schwantz, Thursday, 24 December 2015 04:04 (eight years ago) link
lol
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 24 December 2015 04:09 (eight years ago) link
I have witnessed a decade of Christmasses if my niece being a goddamn asshole about presents
:/
After she came back from summer vacation I asked Beatrice's best friend what she liked most about the Alaskan cruise she had just come back from. 'I got to see 'Inside Out'!' LOLXpost
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Thursday, 24 December 2015 04:15 (eight years ago) link
youth is wasted on the etc
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Thursday, 24 December 2015 04:18 (eight years ago) link
stealth/non-stealth parenting tips for getting a little one to eat vegetables? have a 14-month old that just learned the valuable skill of saying "no." currently cooking up greens (kale/spinach/etc.) and dumping them into grilled cheese sandwiches (minimal cheese, healthy bread) and that seems to work.
― Western® with Bacon Flavor, Thursday, 24 December 2015 05:06 (eight years ago) link
Yeah I sneak chopped up veg that he didn't eat earlier into a pita with cream cheese. You can make big matches of pasta sauce with loads of veg in but apart from that I don't think you can really force it so I try not to make a big deal out of it
― kinder, Thursday, 24 December 2015 08:48 (eight years ago) link
My wife grew an herb garden in the window as a little mother/daughter project. Once the leaves grew she was allowed to eat as much parsley etc. as she could. That's not "sneaking" per se, but she became invested in it. After that it wasn't hard to add other veg to her plate at meal time, although she's still particular about which ones.
― how's life, Thursday, 24 December 2015 10:40 (eight years ago) link
12 hours! 7 to 7! Fucking hell!
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 30 December 2015 08:16 (eight years ago) link
dunh dunh duuuunnhhhhhh!!!!!!
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 30 December 2015 08:47 (eight years ago) link
No fair, M is still coming through to our bed, waking through the night, then waking up before 6am most mornings. (she's almost 4.5)
― vickyp, Wednesday, 30 December 2015 12:44 (eight years ago) link
I think we've had about two solid weeks of solid 12 - 13 hour sleeping and it's amazing. He also started walking on Christmas Eve - like really walking, more than three or four steps - and talking a lot more and I swear he's just exhausted at night from all this learning and doing.
― joygoat, Wednesday, 30 December 2015 16:47 (eight years ago) link
Sneaking foods into things dont work with the 7yo. He's celiac so has developed a real distrust of food generally, and if *anything* changes in taste or texture from expectations he outright refuses it. His list of foods is getting narrower by the day and I really worry he aint eating right (being also vegetarian on top of that) but... its not my kid, so not much I can do. Also he's a stubborn little &*%&^
― Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Thursday, 31 December 2015 00:40 (eight years ago) link
He once refused to eat a zooper dooper iceblock because daddy cut it open upside down.
Last ten days or so we've got into a really nice groove of sleeping from just past 7pm through until 5-7am; most days it's about 6am. This is after 13 months of pretty much every two hours. We'd got to 1-2 wakings a night and then Em got a cold and conjunctivitis and went into the back bedroom, so I did all night wakings, and, by necessity, a little bit of controlled crying. And that seems to have done the trick. As others have said, this has coincided with serious walking and gobbledegook talking since she turned 1, so I suspect she's also just knackering herself out. It is a blessed relief, because we were pretty broken. I also have no doubt that once she can get herself out of her cot / bed that we will have night time visitations!
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 1 January 2016 08:04 (eight years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/article/parents-crying-child-must-not-be-any-good-50322?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=InstantArticles:NA:InFocus
― Mordy, Wednesday, 6 January 2016 23:15 (eight years ago) link
Switching from a crib to a toddler bed. What age did you do it? How did it go?
― Jeff, Friday, 8 January 2016 14:30 (eight years ago) link