ilx posts with striking imagery

amazin

yeah, bravo

there was a even more in the original thread iirc

oh shit

― leigh exodus (country matters), Saturday, 21 March 2009 19:54 (6 years ago)

the tilapia, baked first with lemon, oregano and olive oil, then in red wine, with a chopped tomato, onion and spring onion garnish, was not the problem

the cockles, cooked in the red wine sauce, were not the problem

the fresh crab was not the problem...it was in fact very nice

the problem

the problem

oh shit

― leigh exodus (country matters), Saturday, 21 March 2009 19:56 (6 years ago)

shoot me

― leigh exodus (country matters), Saturday, 21 March 2009 19:56 (6 years ago)

the problem was the fact i drizzled everything

everything

with a sauce

this sauce was made by

oh god

it was made by putting an entire box of thornton's luxury chocolates into a saucepan

yes

into a saucepan

and adding

shit

adding an entire wheel of camembert

pungent, ripe camembert

and then melting the lot over a low heat

adding quite a lot of cognac in the process

and yes

the fish and the seafood

was coated

in this unspeakable concoction

― leigh exodus (country matters), Saturday, 21 March 2009 19:58 (6 years ago)

this was to feed a family

a FAMILY

― leigh exodus (country matters), Saturday, 21 March 2009 19:59 (6 years ago)

all time

so good

lol

omg is that real?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcaxrqhUJ4c

The Rebeca Nodier bookstore is tended by Rebeca Nodier herself, an old woman in her eighties who is completely blind and wears unruly white dresses that match her dentures; armed with a cane and alerted by the creaky wooden floor, she hops up and introduces herself to everyone who walks into her store, I'm Rebeca Nodier, etc., finally asking in turn the name of the "lover of literature" she has the "pleasure of meeting" and inquires what kind of literature he or she is looking for. I told her that I was interested in my poetry, and to my surprise, Mrs. Nodier said all poets were bums but they weren't bad in bed. Especially if they don't have any money, she went on. Then she asked me how old I was. Seventeen, I said. Oh, you're still a pipsqueak, she exclaimed. And then: you're not planning to steal any of my books, are you? I promised her that I would rather die. We chatted for a while, and then I left.

― j., Tuesday, December 22, 2015

passages from los detectives salvajes with striking imagery

loool

^easily amused

I think about that Thorntons Luxury Camembert Salmonella far more frequently than I'd like

didn't he also make a pizza once?

the pizza seemed fine to me, it was grilled shrimp and arugula ... totally acceptable

lj had a whole tub of vanilla ice afterwards too

https://www.zomato.com/beirut/snack-center-al-jazira-verdun/menu

Everyone in America rushing to buy their four dollars worth of breakfast before the inevitable breakfast inflation that would occur as a result of everyone in America having four dollars to spend on a finite amount of breakfast would lead to scenes of considerable panic and almost certainly widespread outbreaks of violence.

Once it becomes apparent that the unfastbroken police force is woefully inadequate in addressing the issues presented by the nationwide hordes ravenous, the national guard are called in. The national guard are queueing at Denny's. The army? The army have gotten a hot tip from their network of quartermasters that the only bacon that's gonna be left in what remains of the one nation that was under God until approximately 7:02 this morning is stockpiled in military mess pantries- they're locking that shit down and aren't coming out this side of armageddon.

8am central time and the domino effect has already ensured that the bunkers are filled with the best and the brightest and the final units of cinnamon crunch to be found on the continental US. rumours abound in the (now underground) corridors of power that Hawaii has stockpiles long set aside for just such an eventuality, but attempts to reach the navy are futile. They've en masse mutinied and are converging on Belfast, having placed the largest advance order of ulster fry in history.

The airforce don't really eat breakfast as a rule, but seem content to watch everything crash and burn, in a dont-give-a-fuck-we're-the-airforce kind of way.

But yeah. Yeah, comrade brownie. You go ahead, buy everyone a breakfast. It's a free country, right? RIGHT?

― Saoirse birther (darraghmac), Monday, January 11, 2016

good lord

Hypocrite.

Of all ilxors this will not have been news to. For shame that it falls on non national civilians to out this threat.

the richard and levon vincent records feel a bit leaden to me, Ive not liked very many of these records so far, its reminding me a bit of a time I got locked in a house in Liverpool when my dad went to look for some tintin comics from a man and all there was was a snooker table with no cue. The pablo record has probably been the best

― saer, Wednesday, January 27, 2016 12:21 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i sometimes wonder if saer is an old-ilx poster come back to bestow joy upon us

saer is a gift from the universe

that one about public/private dichotomies and asda a couple of months ago might be the best post of the decade so far

Poll!

nominate!

I've got at least ten nominated on yr house party thread, fuck off

i thought of a game where you have to maintain eye contact with faces contorted into expressions of grotesque agony and pain, thus causing them, gradually, to grow peaceful and content, and as you successfully progress the game keeps adding more and more faces in greater and greater excruciation until they are appearing too fast for you to look at any single one of them for long before your line of sight is obscured by a cluster of new, screaming faces, and you either a) quit or b) stop trying to process/heal every face and instead swerve your neck around trying for no particular reason to hold onto one or two specific ones until the game abruptly ends with no score or "achievements"

second idea: mario in the boo house

― denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Thursday, March 17, 2016 9:29 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(Re: the...divisive theme song to TV's Gilmore Girls)

it v purely distills just the cosy sweater smalltown snuggle vibe the gilmore girls promises & delivers. just the leafiest jam, you're humming it while you prep for guests, plumping cushions & shuffling your butt, days passing with neither event nor dissonance, reassurance conferred by the shoulderly laying on of feminine hands. i would say that i listen to the gilmore girls theme tune - really listen to it, front to back, with the lights off, my bathroom alive with the coruscating lightplay of the dozen candles i have delivered each morning - maybe nine or ten times a day, just as a regulator, a lift, truly as a kind of friend

― schlump, Wednesday, August 20, 2014 11:25 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha, inspired

masterpiece

schlump is v good at this, wonderful poster

^

Y

v nice ty

a lot of people watch everything with subtitles. idk i find it impossible cuz i can't stop reading the subtitles and it tends to obliterate the performances. i also watch everything w giant headphones tho, partly because i am surrounded by tiny, extremely loud frogs, so i sympathize w audio problems. but as for the slang, yeah, yr obv supposed to pick it up. (idk how subtitles are supposed to help w the slang. i was disappointed that independent article's guide wasn't a grunge-style joke.)

― denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Wednesday, April 13, 2016 6:18 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In the first movement of The Mars Volta's song "Miranda That Ghost Just Isn't Holy Anymore", 4 minutes of coquí frogs can be heard singing (credited as "The Coquí of Puerto Rico" on the album sleeve).

the first time i ever heard one it was all by itself in a plant that my parents had brought home from the walmart garden section, and they insisted it had to be some kind of electronic beeper until i finally discovered the frog

must've been about three years later:

Coquí population density in Hawaii can reach 20,000 animals per acre and affects 50,000 acres (20,000 ha). Eradication campaigns are underway on Hawaiʻi and Maui.

there is a pair of these living nearby; they are a common normcore avian, though i have seldom seen them so close. they tend to flit around hyperactively in the trees, not yet quite in leaf. they look raffish without being either lowering in the manner of higher corvids, or delinquent in the manner of magpies which they otherwise resemble. the differences with the latter are instructive; swole rather than hench, less agitated though probably more agile. their footwork for a comparatively large avian is extraorindary, they seem to float above the branches as if cushioned by miniature air max 90s. they resist anthropomorphization more than the other corvids. they do not seem to have any affective idiosyncracies; their colouration may be lurid but they are otherwise neutral, typified by a sort of motivic listlessness that allows them do very little in any purposive sense, while seldom settling athwart any particular branch for very long.

― сверх (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 19 April 2016 23:02 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that were good

their footwork for a comparatively large avian is extraorindary

Veered into parody almost with this tho

From I Love Hoops (very slightly edited):

i just saw a gif of #hardendefense from the 2014 playoffs, someone passes a ball right past him and he sort of turns and paws gently at it like he's sitting on a couch, trying to pet a dog running past, but he doesn't really want to lean too far forward because it's so comfortable where he's at. then it leads to a basket and he just literally scratches his head like, "huh weird."

― nomar, Tuesday, April 19, 2016

To quote myself on this subject:

How To Write A Really Really Good Posting

No one likes to be called "uninteresting", whether or not they know what that means. That's why so many people who might post here don't. If you think about how many people there are, and then you think of how many people post here, I think you'll see what I mean. Fear of being "uninteresting" keeps a lot of people from letting their light shine and that's a shame.

That's why I want to help all of you write things you can be proud of, things you want to show off to the whole wide world wide web. So, let's get started, ok?

First, use small words. No one likes big words, so use lots and lots of small words. Don't use any words that most folks can't figure out right off. With big words they have to read what you wrote more than once to see what you meant. If you put a lot of big words in there, there is a good chance they'll just get all balled up any way, even if they read it over and over. Then they'll just get mad at you or give up. Short words are easy. Every one likes them. They are good friends. Use them.

Make your sentences short, too. Lots of people run out of breath when a sentence is too long. Then they have to stop right in the middle for a while and that's not a good place to stop. They can lose their place or forget what came before. Using lots of short sentences lets their minds rest a tiny bit while they pause in between. This helps. I don't know about you, but my mind gets tired real quick and maybe yours does, too!

Don't be clever. Most folks like new ideas to be simple, the kind they can get a good grip on right off the bat. But what people really like is to read ideas they have already thought before. That makes it super easy to think them again. Thinking a thought for the first time is always the hardest. So keep those new ideas out of your posting if you can help it. This works out great for Reader's Digest and it will work for you, too.

By now you might be thinking, "Hey! This is easy!" And you'd be right! But if you want to write the best you can, keep reading because there's even more to come!

I bet you never stopped to think how much more exciting it is to read a posting where the writer is real excited about what they're writing. But it's true! Excited writers write exciting stuff. And the best way to let the reader know how excited you are is to use lots of exclamation points! They're cheap, so don't worry!

Here's another smart tip from the writing pros. Write about what you know best. That way you don't get all tangled up with looking for new facts about things you don't already know. That's just hard work and you might even get mixed up and write it all wrong and not even know it! Why should you risk looking stupid, when you can write about something where you know all there is to know about it? That way you don't even have to think twice about what to say. You can just say it, and that's that.

Write like you talk. Good talkers just grab you by the ears and don't let go. The same goes for good writers, except they grab your eyeballs. If you write like you talk, you'll find the words will just come squirting out of you and onto the page. And right up into your reader's eye, too! That's what you want.

Use colorful words. It's hard to say what words are colorful, but I think you'll know them when you see them. They're the words that zap you and make your teeth hurt, that float as pretty as butterflies, that make your mouth water and your gums tingle. Think of as many colorful words as you can and fling and hurl them all over what you write. Your readers will be hypnotized.

The last thing I have to say is - have fun! Writing doesn't have to be so hard it makes you sweat like a pig. It can be a breeze! So, what are you waiting for? Let your juices flow and you'll write the kind of real good postings that won't be pushed off into the Dunce Corner. So, lick that pencil and get started today! I can guarantee, you won't be sorry.**

**The author of this piece does not actually guarantee that you won't be sorry.

― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Thursday, June 2, 2016 1:39 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

jfc end ilx

interesting choice of thread to post that in

not sure what the context was but that seems very unlike advice on How To Write Posts Like Aimless. guy writes every post like he's fn John Stuart Mill or some shit

Possibly I was confused when I wrote that.

i got some in my eye and now my gums are all atingle

cmon flopson

it actually didn't clusterfuck me the way other posts do on ilx

Willingness to attack aimless is a dece inverse test of ilxor moral fibre ime