EXCELSIOR is the second solo album by British musician LOLZ Coombes.

Didn't even realize this was the new excelsior thread until just now. I presumed it was just something else from the AFL crew.

the AFL crew operates in a higher spiritual plane, one that is way beyond my ability to comprehend

I thought the AFL broke up years ago.

i hope bey uses a legit old school hot sauce and not one of those new boutique dr. diahrrea's nuclear habanerogeddon sauce

― uptown garfunkel (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, February 10, 2016 5:00 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

AFL is just a bit of fun... Happy to come along for the ride... leave comprehension for onion av club

I don't know who this Tyra person is, but her makeup and facial expressions combined make her look quite scary!

― Tuomas, Tuesday, October 7, 2008 8:32 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

okay youre fake

― Bright Future (sunny successor), Tuesday, October 7, 2008 12:25 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

v old but so funny

(Removed a couple in between)

that's right, you weren't engaging. sorry, my thoughts are deeper than others'.

― Comprehensive Nuclear Suggest-Ban Treaty (benbbag), Monday, February 15, 2016 8:25 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I mean, I guess if I gaf about what other people (pretend to) think is the spirit of the thread i just would have laughed at a bunch of the inclusions(/omissions) and moved on

― Comprehensive Nuclear Suggest-Ban Treaty (benbbag), Monday, February 15, 2016 8:27 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

how deep are your thoughts? I really mean to learn

― gaz coombes? yo he don't got NUTHIN ta prove! (Neanderthal), Monday, February 15, 2016 8:27 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/02/16/sleep-well-baby-boomers-the-millennials-arent-taking-over-politics-yet/?tid=sm_tw

The aforementioned race being that for the presidency, and the unsettling referring to the disruption that's been unsettling baby boomers the country over: The decreasing demographic dominance of America's once-largest generation. "For the first time," reporter Janet Hook writes in her lead, "millennials will match baby boomers as a share of the electorate." Oh my God, boomers think, as they try to catch their breaths. What is this country coming to? Will they elect ... a selfie stick??
― flappy bird, Tuesday, February 16, 2016 2:19 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yes. Yes they will.

― its subtle brume (DJP), Tuesday, February 16, 2016 2:20 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Selfie Stick/Eyebrows On Fleek '16

― its subtle brume (DJP), Tuesday, February 16, 2016 2:21 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Every time I see this thread I'm reminded of Lee Coombs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTvdiBT4Zho

i feel like spielberg is sometimes too quick to clarify things that might be better left uncertain for a few more scenes.

― wizzz! (amateurist), Tuesday, December 15, 2015 1:31 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i actually watched a screener of this & it's weird but at the bottom it didn't have the standard PROPERTY OF SONY PICTURES or whatever disclaimer it just said DO U SEE ??? in caps lock

― bloat laureate (schlump), Saturday, January 23, 2016 12:11 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You'd have thought God's Not Dead would have been a definitive statement unto itself. The fact that they needed a sequel casts some doubt on the veracity of their argument. God's Not Dead 2: No, Seriously, Just Hear Us Out

― maybe my clam is just more toxic (Old Lunch), Saturday, February 20, 2016 11:42 AM (15 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

An older one I just saw:

The song is about being young and discovering sex. You need to look a bit deeper in the lyrics to find the meaning.

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it till my fingers bled
Was the summer of '69

MEANING - he is talking about masturbation here. the six string is his "guitar" and the reference to 5 and dime refers to his hands (5 and 10 fingers). he "played it" till his fingers "bled" means he really got after it in that he masturbated so much it like hurt.

Me and some guys from school
Had a band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit, Jody got married
Shoulda known, we'd never get far

MEANING - here he has discovered group masturbation. "had a band" refers to his little group "tried real hard" means they really went after it. two of his friends move on and they no longer do it. he seems a bit sad that they did not progress or "get far" which probably means he was looking for a little something more.

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenings down at the drive-in
And that's when I met you

MEANING - he keeps a positive attitude because he has a "job" to do meaning he needs to touch himself again. so he spent his nights at some "drive-in" and it is unclear here if he is talking about drive in movies that might very well be pornographic or he is talking about a drive in fast food place where he sits in the car watching.

Standin' on your mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life

MEANING - once again he has found someone to masturbate with. apparently this person reaches climax faster than he does so they reassure him they will "wait forever" but wait what happens next ? that person then holds his "hand" (penis) and he knew he could no longer wait and climaxes - wow those were great times he thinks the best days of his life.

Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever, forever, no

MEANING - they were "killin' time" and were "young and restless" because they were basically bored and did not have cable television or the internet or anything so what did they do ? then "needed to unwind" meaning they needed to masturbate so that is how they killed time.

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Sometimes when I play that old six-string
Think about you wonder what went wrong

MEANING - they grow up and get older and he reflects on things that have "come and gone" but sometimes, probably when he is alone, he whips out "that old six-string" and thinks about his buddy or buddies.

Back in the summer of '69
Un-huh
It was the summer of '69, oh yeah
Me and my baby in '69, oh

MEANING - This is a reference to the sexual position "69" where two people come together for oral sex and resemble the letters 6 and 9 together. look at the number 69 and imagine two people facing each other but turned 180 degrees. the position allows for mutual direct access to each others sexual parts for mutual gratification. So there it is "the summer of 69" has nothing to do with 1969 it is basically a fond reflection on group masturbation.

― ship who you wanna ship (flamboyant goon tie included), Friday, August 23, 2013 11:47 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

basically every genius page

haha I forgot that post but it was great

When I Was A Child, I Spoke As A Child, I Understood As A Child, I Thought As A Child, But You Won't Believe What Came Next (VIDEO)

― Lisa Welchel's Madcap Macrame Adventure for Windows 2000 (Old Lunch), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 10:32 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha bravo

I sent some chocolate to a girl from the internet once

― Soon all logins will look like this (darraghmac), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 4:12 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a guy from the internet sent me chocolate once

― nomar, Tuesday, March 1, 2016 4:13 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

When I Was A Child, I Spoke As A Child, I Understood As A Child, I Thought As A Child, But You Won't Believe What Came Next (VIDEO)

― Lisa Welchel's Madcap Macrame Adventure for Windows 2000 (Old Lunch), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 10:32 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Option ARMs and de Man (s.clover), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 3:54 PM (6 hours ago)

Basically this whole thread has taken an excellent turn towards EXCELSIOR (I have tried to play my part in it but other posters have set a high bar):

"and that's okay" / "and here's why"

u are doing quite well imho

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CchcB-aW0AAx5Oi?format=pjpg&name=large

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, March 2, 2016 9:31 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

1) 10 dads
2) there are 10 of them
3) if u count the dads, u will count from 1 to 10
4) they are 10 times as big as regular dads

― get a long, little doggy (m bison), Wednesday, March 2, 2016 10:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Haaaaa wtf even is a 10x dad.

Well, m bison already answered that, I guess.

http://www.amazon.com/The-10X-Rule-Difference-Between/dp/0470627603

Oh, okay, so a 10x dad is a living nightmare.

Trump is not really a template one can copy, and if future GOP fields are just a little stronger it will be harder for a personality cult like his to dominate. Even if Marco Rubio comes back in four or eight years looking less like a joke, which I think is probable.

Ah what the hell I jumped threads.

I don't know, the idea of Marco Rubio not looking like a joke is pretty funny

Maybe he'll grow a mustache or something.

Dress up like little old lady and go to Trump rally to heckle

we should poll ilx and see how many secret trump voters we have

― Mordy, Thursday, March 3, 2016 11:44 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Morbs is, right?

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, March 3, 2016 11:46 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

congrats Mordy and Sotosyn, for beating Pollitt, Steinem & Co to the lib-fascist punch

also go fuck each other

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Thursday, March 3, 2016 12:02 PM (49 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's not a no

― Mordy, Thursday, March 3, 2016 12:04 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

not lolzy but tbf to Morbs, he promptly provided an emphatic "NO" afterward

misread that and thought they were saying "that's not a no" to fucking each other

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Jzdylh0vz-U/hqdefault.jpg

another Chuck Tingle tingler

Secret Trump Voter Accuser Reamed In The Butt By His Twin Secret Trump Voter Accuser And A Living Billionaire Hairpiece

Yeah that was my first reading

"and that's okay" / "and here's why" has a seriously seriously excellent lol:non-lol ratio. it's reminding me of another thread i can't place that also involved a lot of excellent english major jokes, riffing on something besides clickbait articles though. rrrrgh what was it.

Wasn't there an ilxor poetry thread or something?

I want to do another poetry contest tbh

The sheer WTFness of how this concluded has actually had me laughing out loud for the last five minutes:

i think if you live to be 400 you might be 20% as witty as you think you are.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius),

You've already made it to 40 and are 100 percent as predictable as you hoped to be.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, March 3, 2016 8:30 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

DID YOU KNOW YOU ARE BALDING?

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Thursday, March 3, 2016 8:33 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Full convo is funny to me.

i think if you live to be 400 you might be 20% as witty as you think you are.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius),

You've already made it to 40 and are 100 percent as predictable as you hoped to be.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, March 4, 2016 1:30 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Also I'd consider The Big Short, though not very good, to be a far more interesting film than Clouds.

― Insane Prince of Fals

Nah. If I want people shouting obvious things to me in a witty way that I'll eventually tune out, I want Morbs to do it, not characters written by the director of Anchorman.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, March 4, 2016 1:31 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

DID YOU KNOW YOU ARE BALDING?

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, March 4, 2016 1:33 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*sips wine*

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, March 4, 2016 1:37 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yes.

http://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/Pictures/2015/1/23/1422018496061/WILLIAM-BUCKLEYGORE-VIDAL-011.jpg

oh well sorry the guardian

http://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/Pictures/2015/1/23/1422018496061/WILLIAM-BUCKLEYGORE-VIDAL-011.jpg

doc casino: the lysol douche thread?
vadge horror stories

hrmrrmmrm.... no.... damn, what WAS it?

the AV Club thread?

the more "alive" frampton is, the more dead i feel

― Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Monday, July 2, 2018 1:31 AM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink