Star Wars 8 shit talk

"production announcement" is a teaser-for-a-trailer too far wtf

― qualx, Monday, February 15, 2016 6:47 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Meh, production companies have been taking out full-page ads in Variety for decades announcing the beginning/end of principal photography on whatever project, it's the internet age, etc.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cbl_t4bUAAAc0ue.jpg:large

those clips above, aren't they from the end of VII or new shots?

gary!!! xp

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CZ1bccLUsAEuDBJ.jpg

Apparently those new shots were grabbed late last year by Rian Johnson on a return to the island. So it looks at if VIII will pick up immediately where TFA left off, which will be a first for the franchise.

new hammill footage:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VFevH5vP32s

AHHH the Force!

So apparently Episode VIII is partly about Draculas driving Ferraris or . . . ?

http://io9.gizmodo.com/see-the-first-photos-of-brand-new-aliens-and-ships-in-s-1764781664

I don't know what that mouth of sauron guy is about, looks ridiculous
BTW I'm going to be a little annoyed if we go this whole trilogy without any twi'leks, togrutas or more than one wookiee.

Who would win in a fight, Draculas or Jedis?

You'd be surprised how much of that type of thing gets covered in the Clone Wars cartoon

I'd vote Draculas, because they can turn into bats, control wolves, and can't be killed by anything but sunlight and a stake through the heart. Hmm, would a lightsaber killer a Dracula through the heart? Would a Jedi even know how to do that, seeing as they exist outside of any Judeo-Christian religious stuff? I guess they could read a Dracula's mind, but I bet Draculas are pretty good at clouding their intentions.

Jedis are remarkably good at figuring out how to kill new and exotic things, so they'd figure it out, and I'm willing to bet a lightsaber would not only kill a vampire, but also do whatever else fire does to vampires.

Jedi can use the force, which flows in all living things.

_LIVING_ things.

Dracula is master of the undead. Force-choking (or any force attacks) would not work on Dracula nor most of the denizens of his castle. The life force is essential to a Jedi so in the realm of undead things The Force would perhaps have no effect. Important to remember that vampires, skeletons, and other undead are not truly alive but only given that appearance (animated if you will) by dark powers.

lightsaber vs vampire just makes me think of buffy pulling out the rocket launcher ("that was then; this is now")

What if Dracula was fighting a Force Ghost?

wait, does force-choking work because the person being choked is a living thing? i always figured it was just straight up telekinesis. i mean, the rocks and crates and things they throw around aren't living.

anyway, the dark animating powers might also be a kind of living things. like we perceive them as dead/undead but cosmically, force-wise, this may be a kind of life.

yeah i guess lightsabers aren't living things either and they can move them at will. so they probably just have regular telekinesis. still i don't think a Jedi could force choke someone, like it is impossible to do if they have followed the training.

then again Dracula probably doesn't need to breathe, hence the tendency to sleep in a closed coffin.

yeah agreed with all that. basically though dracula has a huge disadvantage in terms of ranged attacks. jedis are definitely capable of hurling rocks or random machinery at you; usually they're fighting people who can mount at least some kind of counterattack at a distance (blasters). at best dracula has defensive moves like turning into mist.

he can turn to mist he can also turn into a bat or rat and flee or evade the incoming hurtling rocks. Jedi outmatch him in offensive capabilities so maybe a single one-on-one fight is tilted in their favor.

however, Jedi appear quite susceptible to Force Clouding (them missing all warning signs throughout the entirety of the prequels) and one of Dracula's main techniques is mind control, so it's probably in Dracula's best interest to use that and plan a sneak attack.

yeah tbf dracula is also definitely a long-term plotter, in the original book. lot of ground work being laid for what will ultimately be tension-free and repetitive pseudo-scenes. he has a lot in common with palpatine really. (obviously not dealing here with the obvious dooku/dracula business.) i still think if it comes down to a one-on-one battle a semi-competent jedi could basically take dracula. the jedis only lost in the prequels because they were shittily written garbage yoda couldn't take palpatine in single combat, and i can't see dracula winning the same fight.

my sources are telling me that this guy will make a prominent return in VIII

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/b/b6/ArleilSchous.jpg

I don't know, can't Dracula communicate from a distance? Via dreams and stuff? Plus, he can clearly bend people to his will, a la a Jedi. Plus, a Dracula could turn a Jedi into another Dracula, and then you'd have a Jedi Dracula, who would be pretty much unstoppable. Wait, does a Dracula needs to subsist on human blood, or any blood? Sometimes Draculas eat rats and animal blood. The people in Star Wars are just nominally human, but they're really humanoid. We don't know if they're even compatible with a Dracula. But if they were, we might end up with another "Lifeforce."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=de3VsgXZRGw

Er, nsfw.

what the shit is going on here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPfsbGR1Foo

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Anzat_(species)

Once a victim was within their power, the Anzati would uncoil their thin proboscises from their cheek pouches located on either side of its nose and usually inserted them into the subject's nostrils and into the cranium, where the brain was sucked out of the organism(2), though the Anzati fed by drawing soup out of wherever it resided in a victim, as it varied by species. In most humanoid races, it lay within the brain cavity. Almost of their own, the proboscises sought the victim's soup, and began draining it into the Anzat. The victim could struggle, though often the Anzat's attack was so sudden, so perfect, that it was too late(7) This action, however, required time and could not be rushed. This behavior led to the nickname of "snot vampires."(1)

http://mydisguises.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/vampire-princess-leia.jpg

woah

I missed that party.

Prince Harry apparently got to sit in the new A-Wing model the other day. So that means we get A-Wings in this one.

A-Holes

You're thinking Guardians of the Galaxy

I meant Prince Harry, actually

i've never wished harder that a-wings could actually be fired into space

http://i.imgur.com/4nxYhnw.jpg

concept art

http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/images/c_scale,h_405,w_540/t_mp_quality/gpiiopjxyenjy0tybv52/5-majors-signs-star-wars-new-hero-poe-dameron-is-gay-877844.jpg

Oh good they're changing Rey's hair

http://io9.gizmodo.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-with-reys-hair-in-episode-vii-1783201707

http://io9.gizmodo.com/princess-leia-was-going-to-play-a-large-role-in-star-wa-1790796565

why don't they just re-cast the role? I dunno I think the fans would understand.

CGI Peter Cushing in a wig, plz.

she falls into a rejuvenation pit and Billie Lourd plays the role

"why don't they just re-cast the role? I dunno I think the fans would understand."

uh, no, that would be a terrible idea. they're going to have to kill her off between 8 and 9. I don't see any other option.

I guess the easiest option would be to have Leia die in Ep. VIII, then bring her back in Ep. IX for a couple of crucial scenes as a Force ghost? That'd make the CGI feel less jarring, and there's already a presedence with Obi-Wan.

obviously the already-dead jedi devised some sort of force-based safety net to catch non-jedi after death, so they can bring han solo back as a ghost

A la Nancy Marchand's posthumous scenes in The Sopranos, they should have characters awkwardly responding to repurposed Leia footage from previous movies.

do they finally blow up the death star in this one

Yes but it's filled with tiny Death Stars.

Obligatory jeez where's my spoiler warning joke

here you go star wars 9 grim resignation thread

This was so turgid, there was no tension (aside from 'is this where Leia dies? no? okay. that lasts twenty seconds), bad CGI, stilted dialogue, bad jokes. Rogue One and TLJ forgot that they're supposed to be fun adventure movies.

https://slate.com/culture/2018/06/star-wars-fans-campaign-to-remake-the-last-jedi-explained.html

Who’s behind the remake effort?
An individual or a group that’s channeling the imagination-capturing heroism of Luke, Leia, Han, Rey, and Finn by … staying anonymous.

What do they want?

Another version of The Last Jedi—one that, according to the campaign’s Twitter account, isn’t “juvenile,” “unconscionable,” or “blasphemy.” The remaker(s) don’t have a storyline or even a protagonist in mind—they’re just certain that their fantasy version will be better than the movie that already exists. Per their plan, the remakers “will be consulting with Star Wars fans directly throughout the writing of the remake … to make a version of TLJ that is as close to universally accepted as possible.” They do acknowledge the impossibility of pleasing everyone, so they might have to prepare for a potential Remake the Remake of The Last Jedi campaign, and the Remake the Remake of the Remake of The Last Jedi campaign, and so on. Because that’s how fandom works!

rewatching this on netflix. imo this movie is cool

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/b/b9/Dobbu_Scay_and_BB-8.png/revision/latest?cb=20180620045010

but really though man, that red room fight

It was something.

So is this movie three acts or five? I’m actually interested in the structure because there are so many moving parts and almost all the ones that have soured, for me, come in the “beginning,” but I have a hard time figuring out when the beginning ends, scriptwise.

Particularly to casino’s mention of the fight with the praetorian guards - is that act 2? Or act 3? It seems like it matters because if this movie is supposed to be a three-act blockbuster tentpole then they really did fuck up, but if it’s a five-act epic like I suspect are director was going for, then some of the story choices make more sense, particularly regarding how useless Rey is for most of the film.

Lately newer Star Wars have been disturbing to watch for me. Something about how they always take a handful of seconds to show an overly gung-ho group of good guy soldiers all chiming in with a "let's do this!" and a smirk, then a mere few seconds later they're each getting blown up so effortlessly... They're literally burning to death in horrifying space explosions because they've thrown themselves into yet another space fight that almost guarantees death. There's just such a big discrepancy between their willingness to jump into old rusty fighters and die for their cause in what they probably know is a pretty inconsequential battle VS. the amount of technology in the universe that implies driverless (or robot driven) fighters could do the same job. It gets to me. Now here's a ragtag cast of colorful-ALL DEAD! Gone! Sorry! Now charred corpses floating through endless space forever.

it’s called Star Wars not Star Cuddlepuppies

it’s called Star and Wars, not Adam and Steve

https://image.ibb.co/c31W5K/Untitled.png

I'm not complaining I've just been creeped out in this specific way lately.

That juxtaposition! Or it's just exploding in space. Or both.

i think it's fair to expect that in a war movie (and a disney movie at that!) that death has meaning for the good characters. sometimes the new movies rise to that (and quite nicely) and sometimes they brush past incredible losses.

That’s where this one fell down on second viewing for me. The resistance gets reduced to platoon size over the course of about, what, 20 hours? And in the theater, when I didn’t know it was coming, I got distracted by the fun stuff; later, on a small screen, I just wanted to strangle every person in a leadership position.

I mean at least in this one it's clear people are upset about these deaths, but they oddly never seem to fully rebound on Poe, whose fault they pretty much all are, even though Johnson does seem to intend us to recognize this (via the whole Finn/Rose storyline). By rights he should have ended the film broken and wracked with guilt, going off to do penance or something.

The Poe/Leia/Finn/Rose storylines are a mess. I only really enjoy the Rey/Luke/Kylo parts, and even that gets pretty shakey the more they intersect with the rest of team towards the end of the film.

it says a lot that boyega, tran and lazy-cosplay laura dern keep that storyline watchable.

they could kill literally everyone in the resistance except rey/finn/poe and have poe be like "when it rains it pours huh buddy" and it still wouldn't be as bathetic as "starkiller base"

The redlettermedia video complains it's too much like a madcap comedy but isn't the real problem that it's not madcap comedy enough?

I forget where I posted my thoughts after my first attempt at a second viewing but I totally agreed with you

okay I said dark comedy but y'know

star wars 9 grim resignation thread

I like how in Luke’s fantasy oh himself at the end his hair is a lot less grey

― calstars, Saturday, December 16, 2017 12:49 PM bookmarkflaglink

yeah when he pulled off his hood at the end i was like ‘wtf I guess he stopped off for some grecian 2000 and a quick haircut on the way’

― dipso inferno (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, December 16, 2017 1:21 PM bookmarkflaglink

Can the Force be used for haircuts?

Once you start down that dark path, forever it will dominate your grooming regime

Lightsaber manscaping, hmm

don't make me post the jar jar lollipop again

Stop trying to implicate us in your sexual fetishes.

implicating ilx in my sexual fetishes IS my sexual fetish

It's just a slow slide into full-bore degradation once you've become inured to the pleasures of Jar Jar's sugary tongue.