Star Wars 8 shit talk

yeah i guess lightsabers aren't living things either and they can move them at will. so they probably just have regular telekinesis. still i don't think a Jedi could force choke someone, like it is impossible to do if they have followed the training.

then again Dracula probably doesn't need to breathe, hence the tendency to sleep in a closed coffin.

yeah agreed with all that. basically though dracula has a huge disadvantage in terms of ranged attacks. jedis are definitely capable of hurling rocks or random machinery at you; usually they're fighting people who can mount at least some kind of counterattack at a distance (blasters). at best dracula has defensive moves like turning into mist.

he can turn to mist he can also turn into a bat or rat and flee or evade the incoming hurtling rocks. Jedi outmatch him in offensive capabilities so maybe a single one-on-one fight is tilted in their favor.

however, Jedi appear quite susceptible to Force Clouding (them missing all warning signs throughout the entirety of the prequels) and one of Dracula's main techniques is mind control, so it's probably in Dracula's best interest to use that and plan a sneak attack.

yeah tbf dracula is also definitely a long-term plotter, in the original book. lot of ground work being laid for what will ultimately be tension-free and repetitive pseudo-scenes. he has a lot in common with palpatine really. (obviously not dealing here with the obvious dooku/dracula business.) i still think if it comes down to a one-on-one battle a semi-competent jedi could basically take dracula. the jedis only lost in the prequels because they were shittily written garbage yoda couldn't take palpatine in single combat, and i can't see dracula winning the same fight.

my sources are telling me that this guy will make a prominent return in VIII

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/b/b6/ArleilSchous.jpg

I don't know, can't Dracula communicate from a distance? Via dreams and stuff? Plus, he can clearly bend people to his will, a la a Jedi. Plus, a Dracula could turn a Jedi into another Dracula, and then you'd have a Jedi Dracula, who would be pretty much unstoppable. Wait, does a Dracula needs to subsist on human blood, or any blood? Sometimes Draculas eat rats and animal blood. The people in Star Wars are just nominally human, but they're really humanoid. We don't know if they're even compatible with a Dracula. But if they were, we might end up with another "Lifeforce."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=de3VsgXZRGw

Er, nsfw.

what the shit is going on here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPfsbGR1Foo

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Anzat_(species)

Once a victim was within their power, the Anzati would uncoil their thin proboscises from their cheek pouches located on either side of its nose and usually inserted them into the subject's nostrils and into the cranium, where the brain was sucked out of the organism(2), though the Anzati fed by drawing soup out of wherever it resided in a victim, as it varied by species. In most humanoid races, it lay within the brain cavity. Almost of their own, the proboscises sought the victim's soup, and began draining it into the Anzat. The victim could struggle, though often the Anzat's attack was so sudden, so perfect, that it was too late(7) This action, however, required time and could not be rushed. This behavior led to the nickname of "snot vampires."(1)

http://mydisguises.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/vampire-princess-leia.jpg

woah

I missed that party.

Prince Harry apparently got to sit in the new A-Wing model the other day. So that means we get A-Wings in this one.

A-Holes

You're thinking Guardians of the Galaxy

I meant Prince Harry, actually

i've never wished harder that a-wings could actually be fired into space

http://i.imgur.com/4nxYhnw.jpg

concept art

http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/images/c_scale,h_405,w_540/t_mp_quality/gpiiopjxyenjy0tybv52/5-majors-signs-star-wars-new-hero-poe-dameron-is-gay-877844.jpg

Oh good they're changing Rey's hair

http://io9.gizmodo.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-with-reys-hair-in-episode-vii-1783201707

http://io9.gizmodo.com/princess-leia-was-going-to-play-a-large-role-in-star-wa-1790796565

why don't they just re-cast the role? I dunno I think the fans would understand.

CGI Peter Cushing in a wig, plz.

she falls into a rejuvenation pit and Billie Lourd plays the role

"why don't they just re-cast the role? I dunno I think the fans would understand."

uh, no, that would be a terrible idea. they're going to have to kill her off between 8 and 9. I don't see any other option.

I guess the easiest option would be to have Leia die in Ep. VIII, then bring her back in Ep. IX for a couple of crucial scenes as a Force ghost? That'd make the CGI feel less jarring, and there's already a presedence with Obi-Wan.

obviously the already-dead jedi devised some sort of force-based safety net to catch non-jedi after death, so they can bring han solo back as a ghost

A la Nancy Marchand's posthumous scenes in The Sopranos, they should have characters awkwardly responding to repurposed Leia footage from previous movies.

do they finally blow up the death star in this one

Yes but it's filled with tiny Death Stars.

Obligatory jeez where's my spoiler warning joke

I'm Snoke

Reports are that as of the next trilogy the series will be retitled Death Star Wars and will document a future world where sentient Death Stars of various sizes and alignments have supplanted all life in the galaxy and now spend their days evaporating one another.

(And I remembered halfway through typing out that utterly ridiculous scenario that, thanks to the EU, we know that the original Death Star HAD technically achieved sentience just before it was destroyed. Dear, dear lord.)

Your scenario sounds like Phantasm 6.

xp i don't recall the original death star achieving sentience but i do recall that bounty hunter droid mind-melding (apologies for geek terminology crossover) with the second death star moments before it was destroyed. and i resent my brain for maintaining that piece of information while discarding so much more useful stuff.

Oh sorry, you're right, it was the second Death Star. But, yeah, IG-88 uploading himself was what I was referring to and why I said 'technically'. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my affliction.

can't they just use a different actress?

apparently not given the attitude upthread and in the nerdverse in general

Kinda feel like the attitudes noted here re: recasting Leia are not reflective of the nerdverse writ large.

wtf they cannot 'recast' leia. carrie fisher isn't david prowse or something.

Lily Tomlin is...Leia

they're bringing in the second mom from Fresh Prince to play her

maybe we can just overhear her from offscreen and only see shadows or she will conveniently be on the can every time she's in a scene

always holding something over her face

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i_wsoEXkmeI/Uz_LPr-9n2I/AAAAAAAAA9A/cpKkJGFhwzE/s1600/boguslugosi.png

Someone find that Leia = Snoke thread on the jedi boards and report back please

We have a title: http://www.starwars.com/news/the-official-title-for-star-wars-episode-viii-revealed

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C23gmNXUAAEuQhC.jpg

oh shiiiiiit

So either Luke will die in this, so that Rey will become the eponymous character, or it'll have lots of flashbacks to the years when Luke literally was the last Jedi?

The Poe/Leia/Finn/Rose storylines are a mess. I only really enjoy the Rey/Luke/Kylo parts, and even that gets pretty shakey the more they intersect with the rest of team towards the end of the film.

it says a lot that boyega, tran and lazy-cosplay laura dern keep that storyline watchable.

they could kill literally everyone in the resistance except rey/finn/poe and have poe be like "when it rains it pours huh buddy" and it still wouldn't be as bathetic as "starkiller base"

The redlettermedia video complains it's too much like a madcap comedy but isn't the real problem that it's not madcap comedy enough?

I forget where I posted my thoughts after my first attempt at a second viewing but I totally agreed with you

okay I said dark comedy but y'know

star wars 9 grim resignation thread

I like how in Luke’s fantasy oh himself at the end his hair is a lot less grey

― calstars, Saturday, December 16, 2017 12:49 PM bookmarkflaglink

yeah when he pulled off his hood at the end i was like ‘wtf I guess he stopped off for some grecian 2000 and a quick haircut on the way’

― dipso inferno (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, December 16, 2017 1:21 PM bookmarkflaglink

Can the Force be used for haircuts?

Once you start down that dark path, forever it will dominate your grooming regime

Lightsaber manscaping, hmm

don't make me post the jar jar lollipop again

Stop trying to implicate us in your sexual fetishes.

implicating ilx in my sexual fetishes IS my sexual fetish

It's just a slow slide into full-bore degradation once you've become inured to the pleasures of Jar Jar's sugary tongue.