ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

Found a very good flight plus resort deal through Costco. Highly rated though very standard issue looking place, sort of a docked luxury cruise ship with a beach. I just want to not worry about much of anything for four days.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/03/08/dont-post-about-me-on-social-media-children-say/

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/03/09/pout-some-more-and-it-goes-on-social-media-outside-the-family-parents-say/

I only posted two videos of my kids and about 2 dozen pictures last year. Most of this was done so their grandparents (who travel a lot) could see them. But even then, late in the year I just started sending them over via text message.

There are more pictures and videos of my children on facebook than have ever been taken of me. It's totally time to take them down and let them control their own social media presence the best that they can. But it's just one of those arduous tasks that I don't want to do (like all the ilm ballot poll clean-ups that I said I was going to do when I became mod!).

i never ever post my kids on twitter or FB, although i totally do on Flickr! i have no idea why i'm making that divide.

we post like a couple photos a year on FB. twitter is mostly work-related for me, so none there. we have a smugmug site that is not private although it probably would be a good idea to make it private

kids stuff is strictly flickr for us, and p much all of it is set to private

my 7yo was supposed to be doing math homework this morning and when i came downstairs he told me: 'i was watching youtubes of john cena and brock lesnar'

Maybe this subject has been discussed to death, but we were over at the house of friends with a son K's age, and I was slightly jarred by how different boy and girl toys are today, like as much as ever if not more. In particular I thought it was interesting to contrast the talking toys -- Captain America says stuff like "You're going down!" and "It's go time!" in this cold, aggressive tone, whereas K's toys all say stuff like "Can you help me feel better?" and "Let's dance *giggle*"

Hammer's got that mean teddy bear from Toy Story 3, so every once in awhile, I'll hear the disembodied voice of Ned Beatty announce from inside his closet, "Have you forgotten about me?"

― pplains, Thursday, June 19, 2014 10:42 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

We haven't bought very many talking toys for our kids. Just these two, that I can think of.

Bumblebee, who despite being a Transformer, is unable to transform:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpH8-hluyfg

And Princess Twilight Sparkle, who is definitely not voiced by Tara Strong and it doesn't even sound like words that Twilight would say:
https://youtu.be/0xasDji1yG0?t=4m52s

Bumblebee, who despite being a Transformer, is unable to transform:

He must feel insecure about that.

Of course, this Bumblebee is better than the Optimus Prime I bought for him back around 2009. My kid was unable to transform it, so he handed it off to me. It must have taken me about twenty minutes squinting at the instructions and the second time I tried a piece snapped off in my hands.

The boy's also got this Spiderman doll that ... sounds nothing like Spiderman, right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QneBpGlufhs

My kids got a birthday Thomas the Tank Engine that pulls a little cart with a birthday cake on it that plays an abbreviated version of the most recent iteration of the Thomas and Friends theme song. They received this gift on Saturday. We have in the intervening day heard this song about 500,000 times (500,100 once you factor in Youtube views of old Thomas episodes)

yea i have quickly learned to dismantle the battery in most of our singing toys

I'm currently dealing with it by treating it as a neverending vocal exercise and singing along to practice the technique stuff I've been working on in my voice lessons.

lol

my 3 year old loves thomas, building train tracks and connecting the magnetic trains is a genuinely fun thing to do w/ him, he gets very excited

but have you read the books? like the original stories by wilbert awdry? they are garbage imo

yea i have quickly learned to dismantle the battery in most of our singing toys

It's very unfair that I became a parent right at the dawn of the "fastened in place by screws" era of battery covers.

haha I have not read the books, no; our only connection to Thomas-related lit is modern coloring/sticker books

btw I have decreed they will not see the sticker book (OVER 700 STICKERS!!!) until they are teenagers

haha

xxp: Yeah, that's a huge pain in the ass, but I guess kids do swallow batteries and die. I dunno, my kids never came close to eating a battery.

I mean, you've touched your tongue to a battery before, right? What kid is going to eat that thing.

Now the screws, those would seem tasty if they got loose.

The worst is when we get our daughter's hexbug track out. We've bought her a couple dozen of these things and they run on dodgy watch batteries, so I pretty much have to just sit there with screwdriver in hand to replenish them as they die.

http://cdn.ubergizmo.com/photos/2010/3/hexbug-nano_main_468.jpg

but have you read the books? like the original stories by wilbert awdry? they are garbage im

this is so otm - like I'm okay with the train toys and the tracks and stuff but the stories ugh so fucking idiotic. Thomas the Really Useless Engine, Always Fucking Things Up by Not Following Clear and Simple Instructions.

haha exactly

I have multiple times said that the show should be renamed from "Thomas and Friends" to "Those Fucking Stupid Trains"

H and I have a running joke about Percy where we narrate horrible calamities in Ringo Starr's voice: "Oh no, Percy, you've gone off the bridge again and all your passengers are drowning" etc.

There was an old episode where the trains were being taunted by a bunch of lorries who were threatening to take their jobs away and delighting when calamities struck the lorries down and they could continue hauling freight.

One of the calamities that Thomas watched and laughed at was one of the rude lorries DRIVING OFF OF A CLIFF AND EJECTING HIS DRIVER DURING THE FALL/CRASH

Also Sir Topham Hat is a total capitalist pig taskmaster.

sorry, it was Toby who was the total psychopath rather than Thomas:

http://ttte.wikia.com/wiki/Horrid_Lorry

We are not at the full-on Thomas stage yet but I believe it's coming soon.

My wife and I are kind of up obsessed with the songs on all of Cecil's toys. Like are the singers stoked to have a gig, or horribly depressed that this is what they have to do for money? One of the toys he has has a male singer who sounds like a total theater kid type and you can hear the shame in his voice when he starts singing about counting.

I can tell you from anecdotal observation that the singers are stoked to have a gig

"i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP)
Posted: April 4, 2016 at 10:03:03 AM
My kids got a birthday Thomas the Tank Engine that pulls a little cart with a birthday cake on it that plays an abbreviated version of the most recent iteration of the Thomas and Friends theme song. They received this gift on Saturday. We have in the intervening day heard this song about 500,000 times (500,100 once you factor in Youtube views of old Thomas episodes)"

This is why electrical tape over the speaker grill is the most important tool in the parental toolbox IMO.

The thing I hate most about children's television is watching children's television, and the thing I hate second most about children's television is the way your kids start talking like children's television.

I want to start a parental hit list for terrible shows but I fear I would run out of letters or die of old age.

Chuggington is way better than Thomas. For starters, the Mayor of Chuggington is a black woman...

Also I type this as I am sitting at the kitchen table with the kid on my lap watching the 20 trucks video series which if you have not seen it is worth looking at for both horror and amusement.

http://youtu.be/MXhhXXsxSfE

do you guys read this?
http://deadspin.com/tag/why-your-childrens-television-program-sucks

This is why electrical tape over the speaker grill is the most important tool in the parental toolbox IMO.

man why didn't I think of that before

toys that make noise are the worst

Pray to your chosen gods that your child never finds the Pinkfong channel on YouTube. Do it with all your heart.

Every morning Daniel Tiger gets up, sings a song, puts on his red sweater and then has an emotional breakdown. More so than most children, Daniel Tiger is singularly unequipped to do the things that children do every day, like going to school, going to the doctor, and brushing his teeth. These simple things are all emotional journeys for the young tiger; fraught and meaningful experiences that require the strong, guiding hand of adults who are all an endless well of patience and support. Mom and Dad Tiger are eager to equip their beloved son with the emotional armor, usually in the form of a song, that he needs when his wrist watch breaks or artisanal birthday cake is accidentally smashed. His friends are all there to help Daniel in his journey, eagerly ready to supply a witty catchphrase whenever the occasion arises.

If all of the stereotypes found in a New York Times style section piece on wealthy, overprotective Brooklyn parents became an animated television show, it would be Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.

lool joygoat xps

I'm p fascistic about what TV they get to watch - Thomas was a concession (also Bob the Builder, which is similarly populated with idiot protagonists that don't follow directions yet are routinely praised for how great they are), Sesame Street is still tolerable. Thankfully kids are way into old cartoons, of which I have a fair amount (Warner Bros, Donald Duck, etc. I really want that Goofy Disney DVD box set). Also 60s Batman TV show and Pee Wee's Playhouse.

xp

great video xp

somehow we have pretty much avoided TV, he is only three though, having an autism diagnosis has also made us extremely fascistic about TV (& electronic toys for that matter) in a way that i imagine we would not have been otherwise, the only thing he's really watched is a "very hungry caterpillar" DVD that is basically just someone narrating the book w/ the camera moving ken burns-style over the images, he was kind of bored and preferred to look out the window

our younger kid though is fascinated by tv

oh we watched The Very Hungry Caterpillar during our last hospital stay, it was awesomely soothing

oh yeah and one of my kids had to stay overnight in the hospital for observation of another RSV-related bout of bad breathing, he's been home and doing much better for a couple of weeks now though

oh wow glad to hear he is doing better

respiratory shit is very scary, i had pretty severe childhood asthma and while i don't remember it being that bad (it was just a part of my life) it scared the shit out of my parents whenever i had attacks. when my son had croup and seemed like this tired shell of his normal self and the doctor said his blood oxygen levels were too low i then knew how they felt

We were originally those parents who talked about not having TV at all until like age 4 or 5. Part of the problem is that it is the ONLY thing that K will do for more than 10 minutes without asking for something or seeking attention. When I used to cluck at people who "used television as a babysitter," I didn't realize that something as simple as cooking a meal or organizing laundry might require a babysitter on a bad day.