ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

I can tell you from anecdotal observation that the singers are stoked to have a gig

"i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP)
Posted: April 4, 2016 at 10:03:03 AM
My kids got a birthday Thomas the Tank Engine that pulls a little cart with a birthday cake on it that plays an abbreviated version of the most recent iteration of the Thomas and Friends theme song. They received this gift on Saturday. We have in the intervening day heard this song about 500,000 times (500,100 once you factor in Youtube views of old Thomas episodes)"

This is why electrical tape over the speaker grill is the most important tool in the parental toolbox IMO.

The thing I hate most about children's television is watching children's television, and the thing I hate second most about children's television is the way your kids start talking like children's television.

I want to start a parental hit list for terrible shows but I fear I would run out of letters or die of old age.

Chuggington is way better than Thomas. For starters, the Mayor of Chuggington is a black woman...

Also I type this as I am sitting at the kitchen table with the kid on my lap watching the 20 trucks video series which if you have not seen it is worth looking at for both horror and amusement.

http://youtu.be/MXhhXXsxSfE

do you guys read this?
http://deadspin.com/tag/why-your-childrens-television-program-sucks

This is why electrical tape over the speaker grill is the most important tool in the parental toolbox IMO.

man why didn't I think of that before

toys that make noise are the worst

Pray to your chosen gods that your child never finds the Pinkfong channel on YouTube. Do it with all your heart.

Every morning Daniel Tiger gets up, sings a song, puts on his red sweater and then has an emotional breakdown. More so than most children, Daniel Tiger is singularly unequipped to do the things that children do every day, like going to school, going to the doctor, and brushing his teeth. These simple things are all emotional journeys for the young tiger; fraught and meaningful experiences that require the strong, guiding hand of adults who are all an endless well of patience and support. Mom and Dad Tiger are eager to equip their beloved son with the emotional armor, usually in the form of a song, that he needs when his wrist watch breaks or artisanal birthday cake is accidentally smashed. His friends are all there to help Daniel in his journey, eagerly ready to supply a witty catchphrase whenever the occasion arises.

If all of the stereotypes found in a New York Times style section piece on wealthy, overprotective Brooklyn parents became an animated television show, it would be Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.

lool joygoat xps

I'm p fascistic about what TV they get to watch - Thomas was a concession (also Bob the Builder, which is similarly populated with idiot protagonists that don't follow directions yet are routinely praised for how great they are), Sesame Street is still tolerable. Thankfully kids are way into old cartoons, of which I have a fair amount (Warner Bros, Donald Duck, etc. I really want that Goofy Disney DVD box set). Also 60s Batman TV show and Pee Wee's Playhouse.

xp

great video xp

somehow we have pretty much avoided TV, he is only three though, having an autism diagnosis has also made us extremely fascistic about TV (& electronic toys for that matter) in a way that i imagine we would not have been otherwise, the only thing he's really watched is a "very hungry caterpillar" DVD that is basically just someone narrating the book w/ the camera moving ken burns-style over the images, he was kind of bored and preferred to look out the window

our younger kid though is fascinated by tv

oh we watched The Very Hungry Caterpillar during our last hospital stay, it was awesomely soothing

oh yeah and one of my kids had to stay overnight in the hospital for observation of another RSV-related bout of bad breathing, he's been home and doing much better for a couple of weeks now though

oh wow glad to hear he is doing better

respiratory shit is very scary, i had pretty severe childhood asthma and while i don't remember it being that bad (it was just a part of my life) it scared the shit out of my parents whenever i had attacks. when my son had croup and seemed like this tired shell of his normal self and the doctor said his blood oxygen levels were too low i then knew how they felt

We were originally those parents who talked about not having TV at all until like age 4 or 5. Part of the problem is that it is the ONLY thing that K will do for more than 10 minutes without asking for something or seeking attention. When I used to cluck at people who "used television as a babysitter," I didn't realize that something as simple as cooking a meal or organizing laundry might require a babysitter on a bad day.

Use TV every morning to get Help her ready. No regrets.

We basically have two times when we mainly allow it -- (1) weekend mornings so we can sleep in (2) afternoon after school/playground/afterschool activity when she is kind of tired and cranky.

yeah we p much restrict viewing to the weekends (Friday evening + Sat/Sunday morning, 90 minutes max each). and then they have video games we let them play on long car rides (ie anything outside the city)

Also there are approximately 10 billion variations on 5 little x jumping on the bed and I have heard all of them.

Huh. My Pinkfong YouTube nightmare doesn't show up on mobile. I would hate for you all to miss out, so here you go

http://youtu.be/R93ce4FZGbc

oh you know what else I'm glad my kids are into - NATURE SHOWS! Planet Earth, Wildest India, Man vs. Wild all a big hit

oh my god, jjj

have you heard

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTlkKHqo2DI

because appu series is the best & I hope all your kids get way into it, it is the best, for instance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60k0xNhw05g

so far the clear winner for "most enjoyable kid's series to watch as a parent" for me is Peg + Cat, largely based off of their episode that was an extended riff of The Magic Flute

(and yes, they did the big Queen of the Night aria with at pitch with a legit actual coloratura soprano)

We watch Peg/Cat, Daniel Tiger, the Sesame Street roku channel which basically just ends up being all Elmo clips, regular episodes on Hulu, Backyardigans, Pocoyo. I think that's it. Sometimes she'll want to watch some random crap. I put it on and it's so awful.

I long for the episode of Sesame Street where they go into Elmo's World and set Mr. Noodle on fire

Ours never cared about video of any type until maybe the last month and now will point at our laptops after breakfast and yell "puppy!" or "trucks!" depending on what kind of youtube clips he wants. And the Sesame Street roku channel is great and buys us a good ten solid minutes of not having to pay 100% attention.

That truck video upthread reminded me of this ad we used to see. It's basically the Girls Gone Wild format adapted for trucks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EimkV5MYJjk

lol. I remember those ads, but I hadn't made that connection before.

Ever since Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey came to Netflix, it has been the only show my little girl will watch to go to sleep. There were only 13 episodes and I really wish there would be a follow-up series.

The single funniest moment in an episode of children's programming I've seen so far is in the episode of Peppa Pig where she is trying to learn how to whitsle:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI8KSgx418I

(The sequence in question is 2:43 - 3:43)

Haha.

That reminds me - the boy has been watching these videos of an English dude playing Minecraft incessantly. Like, the only times he doesn't watch these things is when he's actually playing Minecraft.

Anyway. We're at the city park a few weeks ago, where they've got this decommissioned tank set up. He's rambling around on top of it with a bunch of other kids, and I tell him, "Just think, if you can get that hatch open, you'll be able to drive it around the parking lot."

Boy plays along and says, "I'd do it, but I can't find the LEE-ver."

This chubby redheaded kid with freckles near the gun turret stops what he's doing, looks up, and says in the thickest Sling Blade accent to no one in particular, "Did he just say LEE-ver?"

J isn't into TV but LOVES nursery rhymes on youtube. Really have to ration it. That and videos of buses just driving around.
Re toys, we have this octopus thing that you drop plastic balls into and you have to find which shoe it's under. It's second-hand and the sounds are all screwed up and sometimes in the middle of the night I hear it going 'red. red.'
'want to play?'

Recycle it before it kills again.

There's a kid in our neighborhood who worries my wife and I a lot. He's very quiet, keeps to himself, always scowling and speed-walking around the neighborhood, and has a history of punching other kids around the neighborhood. We learned a couple weeks ago that he apparently pushes my son and calls him "bitch" when they see each other in the hallways up at the middle school. So my son was walking home from school today and this kid apparently punched him in the face and ran off.

Trying to sort out what to do here. Go over to the kid's house and talk to the parents? My wife apparently has met both the parents from when the boys were younger and they would meet up at the bus stop. Or would you think this is something to call up to the school about? Talk to the principal or a guidance counselor or something?

How old is your son? Do you have any sense of what he'd want done about it? My impulse would be go to the school once it reaches the level of a physical assault, as long as I didn't think it was going to put him in a bad situation (depending on school culture, responsiveness of admin, etc.)

school's not gonna deal with something that happens outside the school ime - and even if they were to intervene the first thing they would do would be to get the parents together. So if you have a communication line open to the parents, I would recommend going that route.

yea talk to the parents

My gut instinct response would be to murder the child's immediate family in front of him and say "if you EVER touch anyone in my family again, I will destroy everyone and everything you have ever touched"

My actual, rational response would be to notify the kids' parents that the physical altercation happened and that you are notifying the school about the hallway harassment that led up to it (which obv also means notifying the school that this kid is harassing your kid on school property and highlighting the off-campus assault as an outcome of it)

Fwiw my school reacts ASAP to things that happen off school property because they know perfectly well it's going to continue ON school property because junior highers are morons with no impulse control. So you might get help from that quarter depending on yr school?

oh are we talking jr. high age here? I wasn't sure

I remember that when I was in 3rd grade and a couple of older kids were bullying me, it made me feel good to see my dad come into the school to deal with it. When I was older I felt less like I wanted my parents stepping in, and I didn't tell them about some occasionally pretty bad stuff as a result (e.g. a kid following me after school, shoving me, and saying he was going to bring a knife to school and stab me).

do we have a books about childhood / children thread?

Yes

Wait, no. I misread that as children's books.

Timesaving tip: they are all terrible

anyway i thought this - http://carcinisation.com/2014/10/04/the-last-of-the-monsters-with-iron-teeth/
- was really interesting and mentions a lot of books i'd like to check out particularly this one:
http://www.nybooks.com/media/doc/2010/02/16/lore-language-introduction.pdf