Things That Would Be Improved If They Were Read/Narrated by Werner Herzog

The phone book

"Werner Herzog Reads the Torah"

you could have a DVD of this, with bonus material featuring Marc Anthony the stoner from the White Diamond reading the same stuff

all kinds of names in this phonebook yeah this phonebook's real niiiice

ay does anyone know a good place to buy Klaus' autobio online for cheap? Amazon is all 5 new and used from £stupid and Ebay's not much better

the specials board

Again...

"Green Eggs & Ham"
"Fox in Sox"
"One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish"
"The Sneeches"

by coincidence, 'encounter at the end of the world' arrived in my mailbox today. laughing so much already.

"i asked them why is it that a sophisticated animal like the chimp does not utilize inferior creatures. he could straddle a goat and ride off into the sunset."

<3<3<3<3

"doctor, is there such thing as insanity in penguins?"

9. "Life After People"

Finally got around to watching this series and completely agree.

1. The Three Little Pigs

"The third little pig looked through the window and into the wolf's eyes. His blank stare spoke only of a half-bored interest in food."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvWh6PMi9Ek

http://vimeo.com/9880377

1. The Three Little Pigs

"The third little pig looked through the window and into the wolf's eyes. His blank stare spoke only of a half-bored interest in food."

― Bay-L.A. Bar Talk (Hurting 2), Sunday, 13 December 2009 17:04 (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A++++

Would love to hear this directly narrated from the man or have been at the scene in person (also re: #4, the stewardesses point):

Some years ago, Werner Herzog was on an internal flight somewhere in Colorado and the plane's landing gear wouldn't come down. They would have to make an emergency landing. The runway was covered in foam and flanked by scores of fire engines. "We were ordered to crouch down with our faces on our knees and hold our legs," says Herzog, "and I refused to do it." The stewardess was very upset, the co-pilot came out from the cabin and ordered him to do as he was told. "I said, 'If we perish I want to see what's coming at me, and if we survive, I want to see it as well. I'm not posing a danger to anyone by not being in this shitty, undignified position.'" In the end, the plane landed normally. Herzog was banned from the airline for life but, he laughs, it went bust two years later anyway. Herzog tells this story to illustrate how he'll face anything that's thrown at him, as if that was ever in any doubt.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/apr/14/werner-herzog-into-the-abyss

some of the comments on this are just :-O

http://www.sabotagetimes.com/tv-film/werner-herzogs-note-to-his-cleaning-lady/

http://magazine.good.is/articles/herzog-inspirational-posters