England won't get relegated from the World Cup - anticipate two years of The Big Sam delivering the international module here

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-3764178/Sam-Allardyce-wants-players-bit-fun-new-England-boss-invites-comedians-training-camp.html

perfect

https://vine.co/v/5ePDJHrAvvg

Small details make a big difference, according to Allardyce. Little things like rebranding around St George’s Park with graphics - including slogans like The Journey Begins Here in the main foyer- and the Three Lions crest on the lifts in the hotel in the Burton HQ.

Allardyce was chatting in the Ron Greenwood Room just after giving a press conference to name his first squad. “The Ron Greenwood Room? All the names here inspire me. I am staying in the Sir Bobby Charlton Suite,” said Allardyce.

“Do you think there might be a Sam Allardyce Suite here one day? I hope so. You never know do you? I suppose it depends on how well I do over the next two years."

"I didn’t call [Barkley and Wilshere], no. I think that I have always been the type of manager who has made the selections.

"You then think about how much time do you spend on the phone? Will he answer the phone, should I leave a message, should I WhatsApp them?"

I love that he actually asked himself whether he thought there might one day be a suite named after him, then answered with modest uncertainty.

So far it's looking like this is going to be every bit as funny as expected.

“Then we’ve got the Club England, which is the business end of what we do before we get to training, then we go down to the facility, two identities where they are can chill out, relax amongst themselves, play table tennis, pool.

Think Sam has a future in the leisure industry.

I don't even care about the results, I just hope he never gets fired from this job.

^^^

he's always been a Sports Science Bro at heart

is it really such a big deal that there's fucking table tennis and a pool in the new big sam modular relaxation unit? didn't they always stay in a fucking hotel? you'd have to assume the fa have tended to break the booking.com bank out for a hotel with at least a small swimming pool?

I don't even care about the results, I just hope he never gets fired from this job.

There really is such an air of Cameron-pig-day-revelation joy to the whole thing. I hope he's manager forever.

i kind of like him. i mean he's obv a bellend but i guess i'm 51 to 49 in favour of him doing really well, if he doesn't do really well i guess i'd like to see him do horrendously badly. i don't want him to go gently into that good night either way.

No fear of that given the job

id love to see big sam do tremendously well as England manager, basically anything shy of a championship

https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2016/aug/31/sam-allardyce-england-fa-nuclear-disarmament#img-1

whoops that was just meant to be the image..haven't read the article yet

why would england not pick an england-qualified player for their team based on... his not being english is it? the colour of his skin? feels incredibly post-brexit. don't recall people talking this way when januzaj was supposed to be good.

There was some difference in views on whether Arteta should have been picked for (or rather offered a place with) England a few years ago IIRC, but it seems like a non-issue to me (ie you should pick the best available team, obv).

i am against over-18 residency qualification, it is my Uncool Conservative Belief sorry

just international football wise i mean

tbh i do like how it's just part of sam firmly having his bolton wanderers hat back on though. if he can find mario jardel's english great great nan then i'm on board

never too late to call up manuel almunia as i recall was on the cards for a while

Alex McCarthy replaces Fraser Forster in England squad

members-only club england at its finest

wait

the one who played at the valley the other day for southampton u23s and who didn't save a penalty in the shootout

A whole 10 league appearances in the last two seasons, England's future is in safe hands.

"Winning is what we want. If the nation thinks that's the only thing we can have to make us feel better, we'll try. But personally, if we get a draw from the most difficult game of the group, I'll be happy."

expectation management at its finest

30 minutes into Big Sams first match and England have not had a shot. Beautiful.

lovely bit of skill from Danny Rose for Slovakia's first goal

lol. he is having a Torrid Time

Ian Wright's whiny voice, surely one of the most offensive things in football.

Five minutes of discussion about Wayne Rooney playing in the wrong area of the pitch and getting in everyone's way. A reassuring constant in an uncertain world.

Could conceivably have been sent off at least three times.

Skrtel, obvs.

lovely bit of skill from Skrtel for England's first goal shot on target

Slovakia instantly look 20% more up for it

Jammy fuckin' bastards.

The good times are back.

lucky cunts, no improvement on any of their Euro games

Archetypal England World Cup Qualifying Stages performance/victory - they usually are victories after all.

gotta love a ref who waits for Skrtel to club Kane to death before meekly issuing a second yellow then sticks a load of Fergie time on. chip on both shoulders

where is rooney's position

"today e was were e wanted to be. cos e were brilliant"

sam's got the first big hurdle out of the way. gabriel clarke didnt fancy a straightener outside

Can someone explain to me how club managers all think rooney as CM is ok when literally the whole world knows better? I'm not talking a situation where something is a risk or a trial either, plenty of managers have tried it and we've all seen it be dumb each time. And yet?

obviously does wonders off the ball

There are dark forces at work. I can't really say more

oh my god his 33rd birthday is drawing closer

the notice of resignation in 2018, it all fits

Everything Allardyce said post-match suggested Rooney will be retained regardless of form. It had begun with a television interview in the bowels of the stadium. “Wayne played wherever he wanted,” said the manager. “He was brilliant and controlled midfield. I can’t stop Wayne playing there.”

That demanded further clarity upstairs. “This is the most decorated outfield player in England. He’s won everything at Manchester United, at Champions League and domestic level. I think he holds a lot more experience at international football than I do as an international manager. So, when he is using his experience and playing as a team member, it’s not for me to say where he’s going to play.

Wayne Rooney strives for impact but Adam Lallana looks like England’s creator
Read more
“It’s up to me to ask whether he’s doing well in that position, of course, and contributing. If so, great. We’d like to get him into goalscoring positions more. He’s been a goalscorer all his life and I want him to do that again, but he reads a game as he reads it. He read it very well, we won and dominated. I must admit, he did play a little deeper than I thought he’d play. But I was pleased with his performance.” As a glimpse of what awaits, that was intriguing. Allardyce had bemoaned the slow nature of England’s build-up play, and yet Rooney’s passing can actually be identified as slowing this team down.

You cant

Walcott hasn't walker's consistency

cue frantic phone calls to Bruce this morning before he takes the Villa job

https://twitter.com/JohnSalako/status/798643534202974209

Worst tweet since Piers Morgan on the day OBL bought it.

merciful god

his deflected shot saved us from losing at home to non-league daggers when we were premier league tho so he's a bit forgiven

Remembrance Sunday. Thank you for paying the Ultimate sacrifice for us. God Save The Queen.

Gets bodied in stan collymore's autobiog iirc

collymore is CARD's press champion too, weirdly. the white knight to save us all