Shady scams and other silly business ideas to take advantage of earnest new vinyl collectors

http://www.stylusvinyl.com/

"Enjoy classic albums on vinyl paired with great wine: a curated experience delivered to your door."

Loooooooooool

http://traxnwax.com/

"Trax & Wax is the first vinyl subscription service focused on Dance Music."

A magazine featuring listening and tasting notes

"take a sip at every D augmented seventh chord"

am sure you get some cool things with trax & wax, but this is all such a weird way to buy music

Stylus Vinyl has to be someone from ILX

here's Hurd, a "vinyl and craft drinks subscription"

weird name for a UK company whose prospective audience may partly be able to recall the 1990s Tory govt but OK

their first release is by a band called Trudy & The Romance who feature no women, called Trudy or otherwise

kindest thing to say about it is probably that it's just somewhat, rather than insanely, overpriced

Not quite getting what this is, exactly, but it probably belongs here: http://repress.qrates.com

if i'm reading this right they'll straight up bootleg anything?! wtf

"QRATES gives artists, labels and brands the tools..."

It's aimed at artists and labels, not just random people. How much checking they do is open to question though.

"One of 2007’s most critically lauded albums, Person Pitch is the Record of the Month at Vinyl Me, Please. Get this special edition 10th anniversary edition with plans starting at $23."

"plans"!!!

http://www.colonytitle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/home-loan-documents.jpg

better get that credit score up!

All you need to do is sit through this 4 hour listening session of unsigned bands and we'll send you home with 6 180 gram LPs.

Did not know this was a thing: http://www.vinylvac.net

It's basically like the arm in a VPI cleaning machine, it looks like. If it works it's not a terrible idea, maybe used in conjunction with a Spin Clean or something, it's like a VPI for $110 instead of $600+

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bchFnudYu5U

nice juxtaposition of nina simone and artisan privilege everything going on in this video

I love this thread, now whenever I go to the thrift store I try to design the world's most unoriginal vinyl set based on the lps that never seem to leave the shelves. So far it's:

Judy Collins - Hard times for lovers
Andy Williams - anything
Anne Murray - anything
Barbra Streisand - Guilty
Firestone xmas

Honorable mention: west side story ost

"Every month, you'll receive one of these classic LPS that collectors the world over know at a glance!"

haha do we have a "in every thrift store vinyl bin ever" thread?

subscribe now for our special holiday-theme collection!

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yogwVuiFoZ0/Tt0mfkCMX_I/AAAAAAAAAIE/McQQtAQU9_s/s1600/smlMitch.jpg

i'm starting a mail order business. we'll send you 20 records per month, but it's all copies of the same common album. if you're lucky, after cleaning them, one copy will be actually playable and only moderately scratched

It's basically like the arm in a VPI cleaning machine, it looks like. If it works it's not a terrible idea, maybe used in conjunction with a Spin Clean or something, it's like a VPI for $110 instead of $600+

― 𝐌𝐀𝐁-BAM-O BAM A – 𝐔𝐒-H US SEIN-U.S.-UNITED STATES (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, January 6, 2017 2:36 AM (eleven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

OK. I was actually looking at getting a basic Spin Clean in their Xmas sale, but ultimately didn't. Maybe I misunderstood the video, but it just seems weird to me that it's being pitched as a supplement to a cleaning process/machine--"You only thought they were clean..." The thought of using a vacuum cleaner on them seems like overkill.

You never had to do this shit with CDs

Unless you attach the Vinyl Van to an analog tube-driven vacuum cleaner, you might as well be listening to an MP3.

Vinyl Vac, even

Hm, but Vinyl Van...like a bookmobile or an ice cream truck...that gives me an idea...

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/f2/aa/61/f2aa61042c02e81e3e830daf9ea69c03.jpg

Shady vans and other etc

Shady vans and other silly bus ideas

haha do we have a "in every thrift store vinyl bin ever" thread?

― sleeve, Friday, January 6, 2017 3:13 PM (thirty-two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Least Collectable Records of All Time

ah, thank you, I see I posted on that 3 years ago...

i think i forgot that simon r. started that thread. before he ran screaming from this place. he's a good dude.

so insane that i've been seeing the same exact records in thrift stores for over 30 years. you'd think all those damn 50's and 60's goopy records would be gone by now.

all I can think is "man, a lot of people bought this stuff, huh?"

it's endless. people still bring me boxes and boxes of that crud. all those records have been in boxes for decades. then someone dies and there you go. thrift store. i don't think i'll live long enough to not see andy williams records in thrifts.

Also, *nobody* wants them. I mean a handful of course get picked up by newbies seeking cheap laffs and irony, but that's gotta be a drop in the bucket versus the sheer quantity produced and still washing around, never ever getting actually listened to. Anything anybody likes gets picked out and the bins grow ever lamer. I was 18 in the year 2000 and someone born that year is now old enough to be a vinyl fan, walk into certain enduring Goodwill stores, and be annoyed at having to thumb past the same damned copies of the same damned Andy and Mitch records that plagued my own college years. Mind you, I think this builds vinyl character, but.... man.

what's terrible is how goodwill stores at least around me have become hip to the vinyl craze and have started selling everything for $3, and most of it is the aforementioned unsellable dumpster fire of '50s and '60s LPs. if you're lucky enough to see a VG- copy of 'heart like a wheel' or 'pickin up the pieces' it'll set you back a fiver.

https://www.discogs.com/label/956425-Jazz-At-3313-rpm

This jazz series seems to have slowed down, or is it that this Discogs page is not being updated enough?

Orange County Goodwill does $1.99 for vinyl. I still think it's too much.

i've lucked out. Goodwills here run 77cents for a LP. all the Andy Williams you can handle!

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/85/Williams-Days.jpg/220px-Williams-Days.jpg

Vinyl Me, Please

Person Pitch, Panda Bear’s landmark 2007 album that inspired all of Chillwave, has been out of print since it came out. Thanks to Vinyl Me, Please, you can get it for as low as $23.

"One of 2007’s most critically lauded albums, Person Pitch is the Record of the Month at Vinyl Me, Please. Get this special edition 10th anniversary edition with plans starting at $23."

"plans"!!!

http://www.colonytitle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/home-loan-documents.jpg

― scott seward, Tuesday, January 3, 2017 2:52 PM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

all I've had for ages is a DiscWasher brush, but it definitely doesn't get the deep-down trouble stuff. Something is oddly tempting me about the Spinclean today.

― Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Monday, August 10, 2015 2:26 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Thanks muchly to those who encouraged me on this; I finally bought a SpinClean this week and am soooo happy with it. It can't work magic on records that really got their dirt worn into permanent damage to the grooves, but what it does for your average kinda-dirty record is like an infomercial gadget in its prepared ideal-circumstances demonstration where, holy cow, the stain is gone! The bits of crackle that remain are nice warm coloring, the kind I like in my vinyl listening, but the top-level scratchiness/distortion/fog is gone. With albums that I've only ever known from my one vinyl copy of them it's revelatory, comparable to discovering that a beloved record is a great 'headphone album.' Makes me kick myself for all the dirty records I've unthinkingly listened to over the years!

The only bummer is now I basically want to SpinClean every record I own before listening to anything again... which is kinda daunting since the two cloths that come with it really get soaked through way before the 20-50 records you're supposed to be able to clean with a single batch of wash. Will any old lint-free cloth work? Should I shell out the twenty bucks for five extra cloths, or what?

IMO yes, they are handy to have - I bought some kind of set that had extra cleaner and 7-8 cloths, it is so worth it for records that have actual surface dirt and/or fingerprints. I personally wouldn't waste it on anything that doesn't have actual visible dirt of surface noise.

what the hell is this goddamn thing

https://comingsoon-tech.com/love-the-first-intelligent-turntable

Love Turntable redefines and simplifies the way music lovers interact with vinyl through smartphone control. Also completely eliminates the need to buy a bulky & expensive record player.

The World's First Smart Turntable

Provides the intimacy of vinyl with modern day convenience. Pairs with any bluetooth audio device including speakers, headphones, & stereo systems.

aahahaahaaha now THAT is the kind of shit this thread was made for, if it's not a parody. love that one of its features is displaying the album art. gee I always thought there was something missing from the vinyl experience. besides "if only this could be made digital somehow," of course.

it has no wired outputs and only does streamed audio via Bluetooth/wifi, looks like.

I mean, if you have a small place and a Bluetooth speaker and no inclination to buy anything else but want to listen to records, it'd probably be fine.

the forced artisanal quirkiness of every ad for every vinyl scam is really something to behold

it looks like a japanese stapler

Once LOVE is synced with your audio device, put any size vinyl on one of the two complimentary 7" record bases. LOVE then scans the vinyl to determine its size and number of tracks. If you'd like to start your listening experience with track 3 simply Press LOVE's top shell three times or select the track through the app. From there, sit back, relax, and enjoy your record

or you could skip all that and drop a needle on track 3 like a caveman

Press LOVE's top shell three times and whisper "there's no place like home"