Swiping people left and right: the Tinder/hook-up culture discussion

the whole Tinder Social thing makes Tinder more into a 'let's get drunk and party'-app and less of a date-app.

uh according to all impressions of youth culture ever all kids do is get drunk, party, and fuck. tinder's market is finding ppl for that third part, makes sense they'd be in on the first two

yeah i'm definitely not going to be using it but i can see the point of it

brb going to gbx's location, we're gonna make a tinder social team. going to be playing in the tinder social finals by year end.

uh according to all impressions of youth culture ever all kids do is get drunk, party, and fuck. tinder's market is finding ppl for that third part, makes sense they'd be in on the first two

yeah ok i see the point as well, yet, it still makes me feel like, if you're already out there on the dance floor, with a group of friends, do you really need to hook up with ANOTHER group of friends, i mean.. the social situation ís there already.

anyway, i must be old. :P

yes because your friends are all dudes and you are a hetero man

and you want to fuck

I thought the millenials didn't want to fuck anymore. I think I read that somewhere.

Aimless, yeah, sure, I think many people would choose the person, but in a world where you are not going to ever meet 99.99999% of the people in your city that are in your age range or whatever, there are some kind of filters in play anyway. Why not this?

if I can't come up with a compelling reason to meet me in a couple minutes and a few sentences I'm sure as hell not going to able to make the case in a long-form dating profile (and definitely not in person)

it's not like I have pheromones spewing from my body that make people think "whoa so much better, the real thing, I'm swiping right!!" *makes swipe motion in air*

I'm awful at these new dating apps. Mostly because I don't like texting or typing on my phone. Acrylic nails are a bitch.

I am just waiting to meet someone IRL someday, somehow. Although maybe I should try; my sister, after years of Tinder-ing, just finally met her dream man and is very happy.

if I can't come up with a compelling reason to meet me in a couple minutes and a few sentences

the dilemma is that in order to do so, you must figure out how to praise yourself, while sounding credible as a witness to your own virtues. out of curiosity, what few sentences do you think would be appropriate in your own case?

Kentucky Derby ... last updated by sexyhorsepics

you realize people workshop dating profiles and how they present themselves in that manner with friends, right?

sarahell otm

and you don't praise yourself, you present yourself in an attractive light

let me tell you, if presenting yourself as a decent human being who'd be interesting to talk to is what you view as self-praise, you're probably depressed

(note: familiar with depression over here)

make that the text of your Tinder profile. guaranteed results!

Kentucky Derby ... last updated by sexyhorsepics

(note: familiar with depression

I've heard that

"I don't know what to write about myself but here's a recipe for pancakes:
recipe"

has become a trending profile text

And if there's one thing someone reading ILX wants, it's a trending profile text.

?

I am possibly taking niels too seriously.

I do agree that 'praise' is probably not the most useful lens - as Aimless says you will not be seen as a credible source.

Was not trying to help out, more of an adding to the general discussion type post

i read this and did not get a lot out of it

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/10/the-unbearable-exhaustion-of-dating-apps/505184/

Jesus... people are still writing think pieces on the alienating effects of online dating???

I seem to be locked out of tinder - or it seems unable to send my the sms verification code to register an account, which kind of throws off my plans for the next week -_-

Anyone experiencing this/know how to get around it/want to register an account for me? Tinder's support is, obviously, totally useless.

http://i.imgur.com/UP5cVvj.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/zC49ObZ.jpg

http://www.latimes.com/home/la-hm-la-affairs-giorgio-selvaggio-20161216-story.html

lol

another one for the lulz

http://www.latimes.com/home/la-hm-la-affairs-valentina-valentini-20170125-story.html

has it all rly

irish stereotypes, obvious red flags, clingy desperate oblivious woman

if he's a weed dealer why is he always broke?

I wasn’t so upset that he was in the pot business — I was more upset that he was terrible at it.

if he's a weed dealer why is he always broke?

― Islamic State of Mind (jim in vancouver), Friday, January 27, 2017 2:56 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

bc it's california and anyone who needs weed just gets a medical card instead of calling a dealer? idk

ok nevermind i read the article now lol

I am in many ways a Victorian Spinster, but it's hard to express how o_O I was about:

Amid all this and after about a month of dating, I let him come live with me in my minuscule Culver City studio apartment.

come on guys, we can't blame tinder for this one or hook-up culture

unless it's a weed hook-up she was after and this was all a miscommunication

i didnt know where to put it

didnt seem serious enough for the relationships thread

fair enough

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/26/style/modern-love-wanting-monogamy-as-1946-men-await-your-swipe.html

kind of doubt mich431 liked her the way she liked him

p real representation of dating apps tho

The former goes without saying. It is a good representation probably. The 'why stick around when you can find someone better' thing seems to be legit.

In my experiences with online dating, it's a struggle to find even one person who seems like a good match. The idea that people are going on these apps/sites and finding so many potentially good choices that they're loathe to choose just one is so wild!

Otm, there being a difference between finding a good match for a date or a good match for a relationship though. The former was relatively easy when I was still 'out there'. Having a nice date and/or one-night-stand, that wasn't really a problem. The latter though was extremely hard iirc.

ya that's true

lots of flakes too tho

In my experiences with online dating, it's a struggle to find even one person who seems like a good match. The idea that people are going on these apps/sites and finding so many potentially good choices that they're loathe to choose just one is so wild!

Being in college or your early 20s changes the math

Not for me (I'm 28 and it was the same in my early 20s), but I imagine you're right in general.

'why stick around when you can find someone better'

oh man I wish I had this attitude in my early 20s instead of "they seem to really like me and what if I end up alone forever if I break up today"

truth is somewhere in the middle probably, I don't know, haven't looked into it lately

I had known there were other girls. Once, while lying in bed with my head against his shoulder, he squinted at his phone and I caught a glimpse of the name at the top of a text message: Sophie.

Earlier, I had noticed how he’d become Facebook friends with a Sophie, along with a series of girls from other schools. One had cute glasses and a nose ring, and another looked as if she played guitar better than I did. Michael didn’t share mutual friends with them, so I could only assume he had met them on Bumble or Tinder.

Find all this a bit queasy

We differed in too many ways. I showed up to dates five minutes early, while he sauntered into the movie theater five minutes late. I hate Mexican food, and he worships it.

I.... what?

Like, Michael is way right, you are not ready for commitment. because shit gets a lot realer than that! I mean wow. Good luck with... finding someone who is exactly like you in all respects

She's not serious w that graf. She can't be serious

unless they mean five minutes after the movie starts and she's in the actual theater and not lobby

imo date etiquette is meet in lobby, or if you're still in early dating maybe before ticket booth