Swiping people left and right: the Tinder/hook-up culture discussion

and you don't praise yourself, you present yourself in an attractive light

let me tell you, if presenting yourself as a decent human being who'd be interesting to talk to is what you view as self-praise, you're probably depressed

(note: familiar with depression over here)

make that the text of your Tinder profile. guaranteed results!

Kentucky Derby ... last updated by sexyhorsepics

(note: familiar with depression

I've heard that

"I don't know what to write about myself but here's a recipe for pancakes:
recipe"

has become a trending profile text

And if there's one thing someone reading ILX wants, it's a trending profile text.

?

I am possibly taking niels too seriously.

I do agree that 'praise' is probably not the most useful lens - as Aimless says you will not be seen as a credible source.

Was not trying to help out, more of an adding to the general discussion type post

i read this and did not get a lot out of it

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/10/the-unbearable-exhaustion-of-dating-apps/505184/

Jesus... people are still writing think pieces on the alienating effects of online dating???

I seem to be locked out of tinder - or it seems unable to send my the sms verification code to register an account, which kind of throws off my plans for the next week -_-

Anyone experiencing this/know how to get around it/want to register an account for me? Tinder's support is, obviously, totally useless.

http://i.imgur.com/UP5cVvj.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/zC49ObZ.jpg

http://www.latimes.com/home/la-hm-la-affairs-giorgio-selvaggio-20161216-story.html

lol

another one for the lulz

http://www.latimes.com/home/la-hm-la-affairs-valentina-valentini-20170125-story.html

has it all rly

irish stereotypes, obvious red flags, clingy desperate oblivious woman

if he's a weed dealer why is he always broke?

I wasn’t so upset that he was in the pot business — I was more upset that he was terrible at it.

if he's a weed dealer why is he always broke?

― Islamic State of Mind (jim in vancouver), Friday, January 27, 2017 2:56 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

bc it's california and anyone who needs weed just gets a medical card instead of calling a dealer? idk

ok nevermind i read the article now lol

I am in many ways a Victorian Spinster, but it's hard to express how o_O I was about:

Amid all this and after about a month of dating, I let him come live with me in my minuscule Culver City studio apartment.

come on guys, we can't blame tinder for this one or hook-up culture

unless it's a weed hook-up she was after and this was all a miscommunication

i didnt know where to put it

didnt seem serious enough for the relationships thread

fair enough

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/26/style/modern-love-wanting-monogamy-as-1946-men-await-your-swipe.html

kind of doubt mich431 liked her the way she liked him

p real representation of dating apps tho

The former goes without saying. It is a good representation probably. The 'why stick around when you can find someone better' thing seems to be legit.

In my experiences with online dating, it's a struggle to find even one person who seems like a good match. The idea that people are going on these apps/sites and finding so many potentially good choices that they're loathe to choose just one is so wild!

Otm, there being a difference between finding a good match for a date or a good match for a relationship though. The former was relatively easy when I was still 'out there'. Having a nice date and/or one-night-stand, that wasn't really a problem. The latter though was extremely hard iirc.

ya that's true

lots of flakes too tho

In my experiences with online dating, it's a struggle to find even one person who seems like a good match. The idea that people are going on these apps/sites and finding so many potentially good choices that they're loathe to choose just one is so wild!

Being in college or your early 20s changes the math

Not for me (I'm 28 and it was the same in my early 20s), but I imagine you're right in general.

'why stick around when you can find someone better'

oh man I wish I had this attitude in my early 20s instead of "they seem to really like me and what if I end up alone forever if I break up today"

truth is somewhere in the middle probably, I don't know, haven't looked into it lately

I had known there were other girls. Once, while lying in bed with my head against his shoulder, he squinted at his phone and I caught a glimpse of the name at the top of a text message: Sophie.

Earlier, I had noticed how he’d become Facebook friends with a Sophie, along with a series of girls from other schools. One had cute glasses and a nose ring, and another looked as if she played guitar better than I did. Michael didn’t share mutual friends with them, so I could only assume he had met them on Bumble or Tinder.

Find all this a bit queasy

We differed in too many ways. I showed up to dates five minutes early, while he sauntered into the movie theater five minutes late. I hate Mexican food, and he worships it.

I.... what?

Like, Michael is way right, you are not ready for commitment. because shit gets a lot realer than that! I mean wow. Good luck with... finding someone who is exactly like you in all respects

She's not serious w that graf. She can't be serious

unless they mean five minutes after the movie starts and she's in the actual theater and not lobby

imo date etiquette is meet in lobby, or if you're still in early dating maybe before ticket booth

then if someone stands you up you can decide to leave or just go see a diff film

Or worse if they SAUNTER in a full FIVE MINUTES LATE like some kind of LOUCHE SLACKER you can just decide WHO TF IS THIS PERSON

"so how's... michael?"

"i dunno ma, we just have too many differences"

"what do you mean honey"

"well for instance, mexican food? i can take it or leave it. but he ADORES it!" *buries face in hands*

"..."

^^ it makes me think of the "we both get nosebleeds!" bit from "the lobster"

Lol @ moonlight trickling in while he plays his jazz records. "Paint me like one of your french girls"

https://theblog.okcupid.com/undressed-whats-the-deal-with-the-age-gap-in-relationships-3143a2ca5178

A 40-year-old woman will have better luck messaging a 25-year-old man than a 55-year-old one, according to the data. And a 30-year-old man is more likely to respond to a message from a 50-year-old woman than a message from any other age group. When women make the first move, the age gap dating norm is reversed.

the self-admitted cougar

Cindy has been dating men in their 20s for the past 15 years. Even though her relationships usually start with sex, her number one criteria for choosing a guy is that “he must be a nice person.” Often these relationships transform into friendships that last for decades. “Yes, the sex is fantastic,” she tells me, but that’s just one of the reasons she dates younger. Working in tech, she sometimes feels she has more in common with 20-somethings than older men. And as someone with an extremely accomplished career in advertising and entrepreneurship, she enjoys acting as a mentor to guys who are just “pulling themselves up by the bootstraps.” Cindy explained that men her own age often have a problem with dating strong, powerful women who make more bank than they do. “Younger men can’t be competitive,” she says, “because we are in completely different life stages.”

When I spoke with women who message much younger men on OkCupid, most of them told me something similar. They’re usually looking for casual relationships with men with rockin’ bods, but also often mentioned that men their own ages can be oppressively controlling.

entrepreneur next to me in the coffee shop is pitching a new dating app to an investor or something via video chat. extremely loudly.

somehow your account is going to be connected to your linkedin profile on this one. or linkedin is part of the "vetting" process -- this might be one of those apps that doesn't accept everyone.

"how do you make a modern, serious dating platform -- a la e-harmony -- for young people. the vetting is just one solution. we by no means think this is *the* solution. it is just *a* solution that we are going to test.... let's go to where our data is pointing us."

why does this conversation make me want to die

Finally someone has spotted that the kids are mad for LinkedIn

"you're already LinkedIn, but have you been... BangedOut?"

omg goole

https://www.forbes.com/sites/janetwburns/2017/06/23/finally-the-perfect-dating-app-for-superfans-stalkers-and-serial-killers/#64d73c1cf166

wasn't sure whether to post this here or in the Silicon Valley thread or what. new app lets you upload photos of people you find attractive and searches across platforms for visual matches - creepy on its face but also rife with serious serious privacy-violation and stalking potential, etc. etc.