This is the thread where we judge other people's parenting

but seriously if one of your boys said "please don't post this on facebook!" I assume you would respect his wishes...

Not if it was hilarious.

but seriously if one of your boys said "please don't post this on facebook!" I assume you would respect his wishes...

That's true.

standard line I hear from childcare professionals (ed directors, Kaiser pediatrics, etc.) is that any screentime prior to the age of 2 or so is not recommended

more science: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/05/170504083141.htm

Still did it. Judge away!

Infant Hercules happily strangled a pair of snakes that slithered into his crib at night, still, no one ever criticizes his parents, Zeus and Alcmene, as bad parents.

Are you sure about that

A google search on: Zeus Alcmene "bad parents", returns 15 unique results, none of which include criticism of their bad parenting. The top search result asserts that the quack of a duck cannot echo, so you can see the high quality of these results right there. So, coupled with my never having heard a peep of criticism directed at Zeus and Alcmene as Heracles parents, I'm reasonably sure. Not positively, though.

IDK if this is the right thread, but an acquaintance's two sons (maybe like ages 6 and 8) are currently "live" on facebook playing with random snap filters, and the whole thing just creeps me out. Don't know if it's parent-sanctioned or not.

i'm always perhaps not-irrationally humiliated on behalf of any kids who are bullied and whose parents subsequently step forward to talk to news organizations about the bullying going on. or a story where "so and so was bullied, so a hundred big rig drivers escorted her to school." i mean i tell ya, i there are arguably some circumstances where it's certainly called for, but as far as the others after the 24 hr news cycle passes i'm not sure it does much good to say the least. but then again i'm also always shocked at how parents don't talk to other parents about issues between their kids. i guess that shit does get awkward.

Not really judging. Just observing.

Two friends recently adopted two children, a brother and a sister. They're older, 6 and 8, and have been going through the foster care system for much of their lives.

For obvious reasons, they're required to be mum about the children's identities on social media, at least until everything gets final some time this summer. The mom usually posts either the boy or the girl icon from her phone instead of their names when she mentions them in her posts. One instagram post was "Playing with the dogs! Fido and Bowser having the time of their lives with their new friends!" --- and the photo was of the dog looking at someone off-camera.

The girl's birthday was the other day, and the shots posted were from the back. There was a blurry shot of a shadowy figure blowing out candles, but you couldn't see her face.

I can't say anything to my friends, but it's really interesting to watch this. It's like watching home movies of Mohammad growing up. And yeah, I kinda wish more people would do this too, for their kids' privacy and also because they're not as cute as mine.

A whole lot of people I know really do seem to think: "hey, this marriage/relationship has been under tremendous stress since we had our first kid; I think a second one will sort everything out just fine"

There's a super sweet girl who takes the bus with K (both are in kindergarten) who I am fond of because she was the reason K calmed her anxieties about taking the bus, and they always sit together. The mom is a lawyer and the dad I'm not sure but apparently unemployed rn, and they have a nanny but the nanny has to take their younger one to preschool/pick her up so the dad handles the bus. He's already slept through pick-up time twice this year, so that our babysitter wound up having to bring the girl home with K, and it's really fucking sad. He seems like a harmless but losery older guy (for a dad of two small kids, like maybe 50), and I'm assuming he's some kind of benign drunk bc how the fuck else does that happen.

mom is v nice too. It's just, jesus fucking christ, you are unemployed, your wife makes enough to pay for a nanny and preschool for your younger one while you sit at home, all you have to fucking do is PICK UP YOUR OWN DAUGHTER AT THE BUS

*i am not a parent*

former coworker has a daughter that started college in Arizona recently (mom is still in Sacramento).
but it seems like every time the daughter gets any kind of ailment, however minor, she calls her mom ...her mom googles webmd etc, then her MOM calls around doctor’s offices in AZ to find out if there are appointments, then her MOM gives her directions to the doctors office etc

it’s insane.

if i had called my mom in college with a cold/rash/allergy it would have ended with her telling me to go to the doctor. sure she’d check if i was ok later but still

the whole point of yr kid going away to college aside from getting an education is to gain independence etc. how the fuck are you going to do that if you are 18 and cant make your own doctor appointment ffs... and if you as a parent won’t set a boundary to HELP her do that on her own?

ugh

Bit surprised doctors will deal with the parent of an 18-year-old because patient confidentiality.

I don't have any kids that old, but I wonder how far HIPPA goes when the parent's insurance is covering the adult "child".

man alive that guy sounds like maybe hes in the grips of depression?

i recognize this thread is more for low-level disagreements about parenting, but i wasn't sure where else to link this story and discuss it. maybe it belongs more in a true crime type thread but idk it's related to this as well. it seems like there were so many warning signs of abuse and neglect and cruelty, and it all led to this.

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/mystery-surrounds-hart-family-that-plunged-off-california-cliff/

I wonder about recognizing those signs in other families.

God, that's all so fucked.

ugh

Don't know how widespread this is, but a coworker was lamenting that a number of the parents in her social circle have Amazon's Alexa read to their children at bedtime.

jfc

lol, a few months ago I showed up to chaperone a field trip and my daughter's first grade teacher had pulled up a youtube of someone else reading a children's book to keep the kids occupied while she took care of some other task. I kinda judged.

we read books to our younger daughter at bedtime but then after a few books i'll put on a story on spotify and let it play while she falls asleep. it's just background noise to help her keep quiet and go to sleep. we did the same thing with our older daughter except with music.

Oh, my daughter can't fall asleep without Neil Degrasse Tyson's Cosmos on in the background. I'm sure I'm judgeable for that.

I have had Alexa read bedtime stories. It’s great.

https://bedtime.webguild.com/

I use this skill, you can write your own custom stories and put in your kids name.

Huh - when she was talking about it I was imagining a digital voice reading in a flat tone which seemed a little creepy; for some reason it didn't occur to me that they could just be asking Alexa to play an audio version of a story. That doesn't seem quite so bad as a supplement to (not replacement for) human interaction.

I listened to audio books all through my childhood and don't think it was a bad thing

My terrifying daughters left audiobooks on in their rooms the whole time they were doing other stuff INCLUDING READING. I once asked and yes, they were following both stories.

Our daughter listens to audiobooks when she goes to sleep, but we always read to her ourselves first. I have fond memories of doing the same when I was a kid--I had the absolutely splendid Nicol Williamson reading of The Hobbit on cassette, and the 8-hr radio play version of the first Star Wars movie, on cassette, and listened to them until the tapes broke.

Wow: the Nicol Hobbit is on Internet Archive: https://archive.org/details/NicolWilliamsonHobbit

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/16/well/family/reading-aloud-to-young-children-has-benefits-for-behavior-and-attention.html

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/dont-want-attention-mother-6-year-old-boy-whose-birthday-party-guests-no-shows-speaks-185110033.html

i judge a bit here, i feel like if one thing is going to be traumatic and bad for the kid it's the damned viral news story (somewhat related to what i posted upthread about parents going to the media and putting their kid front and center regarding bullying situations.)

I am judge jury and executioner for the no-shows though

When the boy turned 8 last year, we had one kid show up at the party. They were half an hour late and hadn't RSVP'd.

Kid had told his mom that he had been invited to a party. He wasn't sure of the time, wasn't completely firm on the location. But his mom threw caution to the wind and managed to get there - with present- before it was all over.

We printed out invitations and everything. I think it's just kids being unreliable (because they are kids.) Goodness knows how many times I've found a crumpled invitation in the back of the backpack, inviting him to a party three weeks ago.

(This year, we had 3 officially RSVP. One of them cancelled at the last minute, but one of the other guys brought his brother with him.)

My son is seven and has had one (1) birthday party. He's disabled and nonverbal, but so are a lot of his classmates. We did evites, physical invitations, and reminder emails. We rented a fucking moon bounce, yo.

Almost no one rsvpeed. Almost everyone came to the party. But that "almost everyone" arrived 30 to 45 minutes into a 2-hour party.

I am judge jury and executioner for the no-shows though

― stet, Wednesday, October 24, 2018 4:16 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

agree on that

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/father-makes-10-year-old-daughter-walk-five-miles-school-punishment-bullying-163440797.html

the walk, the news story, the kid being named....i feel like this is all legalized child abuse.

that road seems a little unsafe to walk along for 5 miles in the half-light

wonder where she could have learned to be a bully

lol

btw the woman ref'd way upthread that hating pregnancy/babies and married a Star Trek LARPER is now a divorced single mom because the LARPER cheated on her and is moving to Arizona to be an actor. :( so now my judgment has been transformed into simple pity.

People who are already stressed out and their marriage crumbling after child #1 should not try for #2 in the vague hope it will somehow fix things.

So many parents failed to dress their kids for a field trip to a muddy farm in 45 degree weather and I am judging. There are kids in t shirts and shorts with no socks. And apparently no one ate enough breakfast either.

Xpost do idiots like these exist? I mean srsly.

I see parents bringing their kids to school in the freezing drizzle in winter here, and the kids are wearing shorts while their parents are wearing several layers of insulation.

My wife, who has our children wear longjohns if the temperature drops below 20°c, has to be persuaded not to tell them off in the street.

It is very possible that this is the result of a long negotation between kid and parent where the kid is like "It's not cold out, I don't want to wear a coat" and the parent ls like "it's 40 degrees and drizzly, you need a coat" and finally the compromise is that the kid goes to school with a coat stuffed in their backpack, the coat never leaves the backpack, other parents silently judge

I have a friend, who is me, who that happens to every day

I am pretty ok with kids wearing lighter clothing than what other parents would demand. My 14 yo didn’t want to wear a jacket the other day. She’s rarely cold.

It snowed here last night and I had to explain to my almost five year old in great detail exactly why he couldn't wear shorts and a t-shirt to preschool today.