Star Wars 8 shit talk

well I hope he's not the last Jedi. That would be sad.

actually, my real shit talk in this thread is to try to find out what George Lucas' ideas for 7-9 actually were. I watched a an '83 Carrie Fisher interview right after she died, and she was talking about not only was Lucas already thinking prequels, but ideas for 7-9, which incldued Han, Leia and their kids looking for a new planet to live on. So I'm thinking there is probably a mostly-fledged Lucas story out there somewhere.

it's supposed to be like late '30s kiddie-serial text, you chump. xp

well he did write for Larry Sanders

http://elspethcooper.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/placard1.jpg

actually, my real shit talk in this thread is to try to find out what George Lucas' ideas for 7-9 actually were

iirc lucas handed over some ideas to disney after they acquired lucasfilm and kathleen kennedy was like 'lol no'

x-posts: Yeah. And it does it badly. The texts in the original trilogy is so well-written, both of course nonsensical but also really clear about what happened last week. This is just confusing, leaves so many questions to be asked, and the film doesn't really deal all that much with Luke Skywalker anyway...

He's the plot engine for most of the film!

He really isn't.

I don't think anyone questioned the fact that Luke is, in episode 7 and at the beginning of episode 8, the last Jedi. That much is obvious. But what I was speculating was what the title tells us about the movie if, like the titles of the previous ones, it describes the plot in some way? So that's why I was wondering whether it tells us what it was like for Luke to be the last Jedi until Rey came along, or whether it'll end with his death, leaving Rey to be the last Jedi? I'm thinking the latter, because Star Wars movies have never really used flashbacks.

agreed. Not to mention this is the "no, there is another" franchise

Also, my silly fan theory is that Rey was cloned from the hand Vader cut off of Luke in TESB... If they found the lightsaber the hand was holding, surely they found the actual hand too? Since it was most likely the Empire officers who found it (since they were controlling the Cloud City at that point), I'm sure they did the cloning too. I guess after the fall of the Empire, they decided to make and opposite gender clone to use as a sleeper agent, one who'd infiltrate Luke's new Jedi school and eventually kill him. (If they'd produced a male clone, everyone would notice that he looks just like Luke, so their plot would be revealed.) That would also explain by Rey looks so much like Padme. If she was a clone of Anakin (which is a popular fan theory), she wouldn't look like her.

So in that sense the title is apt, there is only one last Jedi, Luke and his hand, just in two pieces. And Luke has to die so the hand/Rey can create her own destiny,

the hand/Rey!

i would love a cronenbergian star wars movie

http://cdn.gowatchit.com/posters/original/movie_3353.jpg

I'm going to assume that Tuomas's theory is NOT the case, since Luke's hand and saber fell out the bottom of Cloud City when he fell onto the antenna (it's shown on screen); and when asked by Han where she got Luke's lightsaber, Maz Kanata replies "That's a story for another time."

Han Solo is close to "hand solo", like "one hand"

might be something to that

the hand will turn out to be thing from the addams family and the whole saga will be revealed as a 40-year setup for a reboot of the beloved 60s horror sitcom

some star wars fan theories are relatively decent, and by the time a movie comes out all of the small leaks from the million pieces of merchandise gives somewhat of a structure to graft things on to

but 99% of them are worse than Twilight fan fiction

50 Shades of Grey is a low bar I guess

Previous attempts at trying to incorporate Luke's hand into future stories:

https://www.inverse.com/article/21006-luke-skywalker-severed-hand-artwork-fred-palacio

Luke's hand became the prototype for the Terminator hand

since Luke's hand and saber fell out the bottom of Cloud City when he fell onto the antenna (it's shown on screen); and when asked by Han where she got Luke's lightsaber, Maz Kanata replies "That's a story for another time."

I just watched this scene, and this is not what happens! First the hand and the saber fall down the pit... Then, a couple of minutes later Luke jumps down it too, but he gets sucked into some sideways exhaustion tube. Neither the hand nor the saber are nowhere to be seen there, so they must've fallen elsewhere. Then a hole opens at the bottom of the tube, and Luke falls down on the antenna, and something falls down from him into the clouds... But that something is clearly his pistol, since before he fell it was in its holster, and when he's grabbing onto the antenna the holster is empty. So that shot of the falling object was just used to illustrate how long the fall down is, not to tell us the ultimate fate of the hand.

Also, if Rey is a clone, it would explain why he gets such strong PSI-imprinted visions from taking Luke lightsaber: she was literally the hand that used to hold it.

"Wow the Empire really did strike back"
"Wow the Jedi really did return"
"Wow the Force really has awakened"

"Wow the last Jedi really has...uh..."

Sounds like dialogue from Dewey Cox

Looking forward to The Next Last Jedi (There Can Only Be One (one more, that is...))

The new really did hope so hard, in your face

I think we can all agree that the Phantom truly Menanced

the Phantom being the ghost of a good film, of course

I stand by my stance in the prior thread, Luke should at some point say, "I don't recall ever owning a droid" when R2 shows up

there was an early draft of the Force Awakens which started with a shot of Luke's hand plus saber floating in space

sabers and jedihands we are floating in space

So please put your sweet hand in mine
And float in space, lightsaber time

Fwiw I think TFA's crawl is fine, it's just that the film doesn't do anything to clarify the things it leaves distractingly unclear - specifically the nature and scope of the First Order, and the relationships between it, the old Empire, the new Republic, and the confusing new Resistance. The whole thing would make far, far more sense if the First Order was a much smaller splinter cell of the Republican army, seeking to Make the Galaxy Imperial Again (hence their kinship with Kylo Ren, seeking to make himself Vader), or the last, radicalized holdouts of the Empire who have yet to be put down (less interesting but maybe more tenable in terms of their resources and the fact that Finn seems to have been raised entirely within longstanding Imperial military culture, not some recently-cobbled-together neo-fascist movement). Neither one squares with them already having a superweapon overwhelmingly larger and more elaborate than the original Death Star, or the ability to project troops and spies anywhere in the galaxy at will. Nor would it really explain why there'd need to be a Resistance.... but it'd be a step towards the basic setup making sense.

As it is, the 'search for Luke Skywalker and discovery of Kylo Ren' version of the plot, hooks in well to all the character arcs I think, sometimes gets completely lost in the 'Oscar Isaac blows up the death star' version. As with Rogue One I suspect there's a draft somewhere that made much, much more sense (both as a plot and as a story) before someone insisted it needed X-wing battles and something big blowing up.

So, my speculation for episode 8 is that for every paragraph of fanfic reaching for the tale of Luke and Rey and the Last Jedi, you should subtract one to two sentences chosen at random, and add some X-wing stuff and probably a Death Star just to be on the safe side. Assume it will be designed by committee for (very good) minute-to-minute entertainment, not that it will all make sense once you leave the theater.

they never followed up on the Leia Has The Force stuff from ROTJ! if that isn't in this movie then cry cos it will be too to make her a secret Jedi.

someone above asked about Lucas's original plans for 7-9. i don't think he had any. at one point there were going to be spinoffs a la Young Solo/Kenobi and those were included in the large numbers of potential Star Wars movies. that Secret History of Star Wars site was very comprehensive and even they couldn't find anything.

I read somewhere, very recently, that they were going to be about Luke's children fighting the Emperor (who was originally slated to survive RoTJ, though Vader was always going to die). Could've been made up I suppose.

I think the difference between the original crawls and the one for episode 7 is that the original ones really sounds like something from a serial. They explain what happened on the last episode (Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. etc) Even the prequel trilogy manages to do this (and they're pure shit otherwise. I always want to defend them, but they truly are indefensible. For all that Episode 1 sucks, the episode the crawl summarizes sounds even worse...). The crawl for Episode 7 wants to explain what happens in the gap between 6 and 7, and doesn't even manage that. Luke Skywalker has vanished was not the thing that happened last week. It happened ages ago.

They've done some legwork establishing groups like the "Church of the Force" thing or w/e that Lor San Tekka (the guy who gets killed at the beginning of TFA) is part of and the non-jedi Guardians on Jedha. The whole Snoke/Ren thing is going to be some realization of the dark side that believes in power and control (with all the fascist underpinnings) without visibly taking the role of Emperor.

The whole Jedi order got routed because it became a militant organization but one that basically did the work of the Republic without questioning whether the Republic was in the right. There were enough moments in the non-movie media establishing that the Jedi were there to support rightful governments and help train others to do the same. The only direct action was against the (urgh) Trade Federation's army.

So the narrative was that the galaxy fell into conflict because the jedi commanded an army in an extended war and twisted the purpose of the Republic. After the jedi were all killed off, the war ended -- they were prolonging the battle and stopping the peace process! The Empire brought order, with direct command, and a hierarchy to put down internecine squabbles. Sure, localized crime existed, but surely the Empire would have put an end to that if it weren't for ongoing rebellion.

Now, if you wanted a better Empire, and you had a jedi-like group of dark siders dedicated to the new order and galactic peace....

At least one of those pale Palpatine advisor dudes in the robes and funny hats made it out of the Empire alive

Has everyone seen the anti-cheese prequel edits? If not, and if adding a half-star to each one makes you, as a desperate Star Wars fan, very very excited, search them out.

guys what if snoke is vader's dick

you're on to something

sry for spoiling ep vii everyone

and ep viii i guess

Roman numerals are hard

if adding a half-star to each one

read this as half-hour, physically recoiled.

Luke Skywalker has vanished was not the thing that happened last week

It... happened since the "last" episode.

Right Morbs. You're misunderstanding how the scrolls work. The whole stylistic conceit is that there's a bunch of episodes in-between what we see, as in Empire Strikes Back: 'Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth.' That's not just a description of what has happened since the last film, that's a whole different adventure that we didn't get to see. That sounds fun! Force Awakens just sounds like a recap.

after this one the Jedis change their name to the Djedis. Title is a total red herring

Wait did we just trade Fred and Morbs politico for Fred and Morbs comic book guy? This is great

I think we're both film-geeks first and foremost. But you can't know about film without being a researcher and interested in everything filmable. There's a fine line between Ming the Merciless and Trump.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wtXkD1BC564/maxresdefault.jpg

That is literally my haircut. And scarf.

Fred is indeed David St. Hubbins

And why not?