Rolling Chris and Kevin's Bogus Journey 2017

I see the board is as excited for Royal Rumble as I am.

i'm actually always excited about the rumble tbh, it's the funnest dumbest thing. i've actually been watching old rumbles over the past 2 weeks! it was the first thing i cared about as a "casual" because it had ALL OF THE DUDES and to this day i still love the glorious idiocy of it all

i'm excited bc it really does feel unpredictable this year, but i'm sure they'll find a way to disappoint

The Royal Rumble is the WrestleMania of wrestling.

That being said, it's always best to go into the things with low expectations. Even with the NXT show tonight, I'm not holding my breath. And I'm not staying up for it, either; one all-nighter for the Rumble is enough for me.

Im super excited. I think i could make a list of genuinely like 15 potential winners. I dont think it has ever been this unpredictable. The last one i can remember that even came close is the one where edge returned from injury. Even wildcards like joe, nakamura, zayn and balor dont seem out of the question (they also definitely wont happen).

On the other hand I can see them bursting such a bubble with something that will piss fans off like craaazy, like cena winning and orton winning and being like "omg they have never fought at wrestlemania (1 on 1) lets do itttttt" and it being worse than the mega sheamus push from a year or so ago.

way more psyched for the RR (the whole 14-hour event) than takeover

yeah for sure. Takeover was pretty flat on the whole I thought. i like the Authors of Pain and I thought that was the right result, and Nakamura / Roode was as enjoyable and competent as it was always gonna be without ever really being anything special. cba with Nakamura in NXT anymore really, but apparently there aren't any plans in the pipeline to bring him up yet. presumably they need him to anchor the WM-weekend show in his rematch against Roode. meh.

i like all the new women well enough - Asuka is just killing that division now. get her up on the main roster soon too plz

Tye Dillinger is so obviously the man. they're getting away with doing that Tyler Breeze thing to him at the moment but he's seriously the only guy on the whole roster (except for The Revival) who feels like he has that proper organic connection with the fans based on his character and NXT work rather than reputation (i.e. Nak, Roode) He'd make an awesome sympathetic babyface champ at some point. if he gets passed over for Austin Aries or Andrade Almas or (heaven fuckin help us) Roderick Strong this year it'll be a huge missed opportunity.

but yeah, all told a disappointing show.

majorly hyped for the Rumble, p. sure I will stay up to watch. honestly can't think of very many permutations which wouldn't be quite cool (unless it really is Cena / Reigns / Taker all winning in the three big matches, that would admittedly be pretty flat). this would be a good year for a dark horse outsider pick for the Rumble i reckon. although with that said, Jericho's never won it yet has he? I could see him winning, KO retains to set up their thing at WM for the title

lol i have nothing on tonight so i'm actually watching the pre-show shit, making for a grand total of 6 hrs of Royal Rumbling in the Davies household. fuckin A. HBK is on the pre-show panel, unexpected bonus early on.

loooove listening to HBK kayfabing about the 95-96 Rumbles. still to this day THE all-time prick.

wait what, Rosenberg is doing presenting for them now? at least he didnt bring the Masked Man with him i guess

man Jericho is selling the shit out of this shark cage gimmick. this latest run for him ended up being so good.

Roman Reigns, otoh, is still just such a fuckin goof. how is it possible that a guy with so many of the necessary raw materials sucks so much? can it really all be Vinnie Mac micro-management? I'm not the biggest fan of Kevin Owens as a wrestler tbh but the difference between Owens and Reigns in those little "intangible" character moments is like night and day

lol no wai they're actually doing Strowman vs Reigns at Wrestlemania, this is astonishing

tbf though that is a MOUNTAIN of a man jfc

it'll be fun to see everyone cheering for Strowman.

2 minute intervals tonight, sweet.

love both Cena and Styles unreservedly. gotta think Styles is winning here though, potentially with shenanigans. they've made nowhere near enough of a thing in the pre-match out of Cena breaking the world tile record for them to actually do it

fuck though Styles was gonna hit the BURNING HAMMER for a second there

didn't Brian Kendrick hit a Burning Hammer on someone recently? And it only got a 2? That sorta shit should lead to an automatic revocation of all pro-wrestling certificates and credentials for both parties imo

almost as bad as KO barely getting a two count on Reigns tonight off of a Stone Cold Stunner.

welp! shows what i know! totally burned out on these WWE finisher kickout epics now but that rolling AA to finish was flyyyyyyyy

k i would like one Kurt Angle appearance plz, give me that and i don't really gaf what else may happen.

So long as it isn't Randy Orton, who apparently is the overwhelming bookies favourite :S

ahhhhhh i'm excited this is the best hour or two of the wrestling year. let's dooooo it

fuck man they are properly giving Strowman the main-event push tonight. it's gonna have to be Lesnar to fuck his shit up isn't it

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh they did Tye Dillinger at 10, YES

so at #15 we haven't seen hide nor hair of Y2J for about half an hour, so he's gotta be hiding somewhere for a late return and victory

holy shit Kofi just nearly killed himself on the ring post

or not

My favorite Rumble prediction of those I've read is that this will finally be Kofi's year. As of this writing he's still in, so I hope that's what happens.

this has turned into a pretty shitty Rumble. damn. wouldn't have thought that the first half of it where it was all about Strowman would be the hot half but there it is.

ring all full of dudes now for one of/some combo of Lesnar / Goldberg / Taker to come in and clean house. meh.

Welp, there go Kofi and Cesaro, my sentimental favorites.

ugh is there a person a live that gives a fuck about Dolph Ziggler in 2017? shouldn't he be working second tier indy shows with Cody Rhodes by now?

pretty weird (for me at least, as someone that hasn't watched at all since last summer) that 14 years after his last prominent appearance Goldberg appears to be the most over guy on the roster

hahahaha Goldberg just banged Lesnar AGAIN. it's so crazy that they've taken one of the most historically hilarious main-event programmes of all time and turned into their 2017 Wrestlemania main-event feud

christ almighty i don't wish ill on any man but surely someday soon The Undertaker is gonna be too decrepit to stand up unaided, let alone dominate major annual WWE gimmick matches

tbf they are doing a decent job of setting up multiple WM programmes that would work tonight - Reigns / Taker, Taker / Goldberg, Goldberg / Lesnar, Reigns / Strowman

shit i just realised that i don't actually want to see ANY of those matches

Fatal five-way with all those clowns.

hahahahaha so it was Orton after all. and even now after everything, they felt that the best way to get that shit over was by having Reigns be the final elimination. so
Wyatt wins the belt off of Cena at Elimination Chamber then?

ugghhhhh i hate that after a brief moment of hope in which it seemed like they were setting up various surprising things for WM it really is just gonna be

Lesnar v Goldberg
Cena v Taker
Orton v Wyatt
HHH v Rollins
Reigns v Strowman

all matches which were called months ago

and which on reflection is a pretty fucking sucky card. again.

should have let Jericho win it and pay off the buddies storyline.

To me it looked like Strowman vs Reigns will happen at Fastlane and Taker vs Reigns at Mania.

If they wanted Taker vs Cena then Taker would have/should have won the Rumble.

It's kind of sad that the Rumble has underachieved for so many years in a row. There was way too much laying around while one guy cleaned house or two guys worked in the center of the ring. Jericho seemed to get injured early in the match and didn't play much of a role (and didn't win) so I have no idea why he was in until almost the end. What was the point in having Reigns in there? There also wasn't a single surprise entry -- including no Balor and no Joe. Really disappointing Rumble overall.

Cena vs Styles was great though. I didn't catch Owens vs Reigns, will have to watch it later. Does this free up Styles for a match vs Joe at Mania?

i thought jericho was deviously playing the waiting game while e.g. braun wasted everybody, but i dunno why he gave up on that to then get wasted himself. also there was ONE surprise entry, tye dillinger, and sure fine that's nice for him. maybe jack gallagher counts too.

reigns at #30 and then eliminating undertaker is the most astonishing troll, unless they're finally turning him heel. why would he even be part of it, was his plan to hold both universal and world titles at the same time?

overall the rumble did v little to hold my interest. building it around three guys who then didn't arrive till the end and got what, fifteen minutes of ring time between them, low-key eliminations for a bunch of people who deserved more (e.g. ambrose, zayn), generally v little drama except for when the big lads decided to clear house. maybe i am too harsh, maybe the royal rumble has been ruined for me by aztec warfare.

was really hoping for a jericho win (i can't believe im saying this in 2017), to finish off the team chris and kevin storyline (or at least give it a proper build instead of having them split up every week for a month).

also he was the only person who seemed to have a chance that i can tolerate watching. they have a roster full of amazing workers but most of the wrestlemania matches will have at least one crap worker or be mutiman spotfests

why would he even be part of it, was his plan to hold both universal and world titles at the same time?

And why Reigns and not AJ Styles? Did Sheamus and Cesaro want to lose the tag titles so they could focus on winning the Rumble? I guess we're not supposed to use logic and stuff when thinking about this.

Thinking about it some more, it really was a boring Rumble. They didn't even bother with all the usual Rumble tropes -- guys fighting in groups near the ropes and trying to throw each other out, timing updates from the announcers ("Sami Zayn has been in the Rumble for over 26 minutes!" "Rusev has been in the Rumble for over 31 minutes!"). Two thirds of the match was literally guys lying around waiting for their cue to stand up and take somebody's finisher, and then lying around waiting for the next entrant.

On the other hand I can see them bursting such a bubble with something that will piss fans off like craaazy, like cena winning and orton winning and being like "omg they have never fought at wrestlemania (1 on 1) lets do itttttt" and it being worse than the mega sheamus push from a year or so ago.

― plums (a hoy hoy), Saturday, 28 January 2017 14:14 (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Man this company knows how to make a great thing into a turd. Strowman was boss but... the Kofi spot was crap, the announcing was bad (notimebeforetime otm), the half hour or so of watching people lie on the floor was inane as hell, the "old guys are the only ones who can eliminate anyone" thing just sucks, especially when it makes guys they are trying to build as legitimate like corbin and ambrose and rusev etc. look like chumps, taker looks like my nan, the only surprise entrant was the least over guy on the roster who had already lost a match (when it could have been joe or angle or someone)...

But the worst part is fucking mr. headlock himself winning. How the fuck can a guy who can't cut a promo or wrestle an interesting match be main eventing again? If you count taker matches and title matches the guy has been in the main event 6 times in 12 years. Its fucking obscene. He's more boring than Ziggler. He's got some kane/big show PLEASE RETIRE *clapclapclapclapclap* heat over here but at least Big Show does shit. He's just the absolute opposite of what I want to see in a pro wrestler. He's fucking BLAND. I can't remember the last time he even had a character (and I don't think being wyatt or triple h's bitch boy counts) 2009? Legacy was 8 years ago. You had Zayn and Jericho sit on the floor for an hour for that?

That AJ-Cena match was legit tho. As good as any 6 star matches i've seen recently.

Wrestlemania could have been the greatest card, full of guys who had an excellent year and they could have easily built feuds built on passion and heat.

Instead guys like AJ Styles might have to hope they make it into the Andre Battle Royal I guess, so Lesnar can get his win back from a guy who debuted 20 years ago and Roman Reigns can be a fan favourite beating up a grandad who wrestled his first match 4 decades ago.

The rest of the show was really fun though. I liked Bayley-Charlotte, they are building this ppv streak thing so well. The finish on the side of the ring was great, its nice for them to use something thats always described as being more painful to actually win and not as a bridge before the real finisher. The shark cage thing was pointless and that was just a big mess, but I liked Owens just deciding to CZW it up anyway. And yeah, Cena-Styles was fucking excellent, Cena's best match since Bryan as SS13.

There's no way Orton main events Mania. Maybe Bray Wyatt wins the belt from Cena at Elimination Chamber and faces Orton in a match 4th from the top at Mania, but that's it. But I would bet on him losing the title shot at some point in the next month.

I still don't get why they won't do Taker vs Cena (with or without the belt on the line, it doesn't really matter). That match was set in stone last year before Cena got injured, but for some reason they've decided against doing it this year (although Vince may change his mind another ten times about it).

Man this company knows how to make a great thing into a turd. Strowman was boss but... the Kofi spot was crap, the announcing was bad (notimebeforetime otm), the half hour or so of watching people lie on the floor was inane as hell, the "old guys are the only ones who can eliminate anyone" thing just sucks, especially when it makes guys they are trying to build as legitimate like corbin and ambrose and rusev etc. look like chumps, taker looks like my nan, the only surprise entrant was the least over guy on the roster who had already lost a match (when it could have been joe or angle or someone)...

I pretty much agree with all of this. Definitely the bit about making most of the active roster look like chumps. I've been so tired of that since Brock came back last year. I don't care if he's over, it's too harmful to the long term health of the company. The message it sends is 'why give a shit about any of these guys when the old farts will rag doll them around as they please'. And then they wonder why they haven't repeated the Rock or Stone Cold magic. I've said this before but it bears repeating.

As for Orton winning: I've always found him bland and boring too. I've literally fallen asleep during his matches. The only good moment I can remember from his entire career is thanks to Seth Rollins. But he has his fans, inexplicably. And I popped too, as a reflex, but it was a relief pop. I would have cheered for anyone but Roman at that point as my cynicism took over as soon as he walked out.

One more thing: that teasing of a Rollins run-in from TakeOver and then only ever making reference to it on the Rumble preshow - I feel like there was a clip during the main PPV too but they more or less pretended it never happened. That's some WCW level 'let's pop the Monday rating' shit.

Oh and the Undertaker is an embarrassment to himself at this stage. Props to him for staying under the ring for however many hours (unless there's a trap door under the Alamodome floor) but he's so clearly not anywhere near in ring shape. He looks like when Jake the Snake was strung out on indie shows.

Two weird things about Randy Orton:

1) As a kid, I loved it when DDP would hit the Diamond Cutter from various angles. And yet Orton doing an even more varied and athletic version of the same bit has never been all that exciting to me.
2) Other wrestlers seem to love Orton. Karl Anderson, for example, who's worked with all of your main New Japan critical darlings, regularly cites Orton as one of his favorites. And he's far from the only one! Yet Orton remains mysteriously bland.

They hyped Stephanie coming to RAW on Monday to deal with the Rollins situation. But it was a bit strange that the supposed #2 face on Raw didn't appear at all on the #2 PPV event of the year.

Undertaker looked horribly immobile and out of shape, yes, and it was sad.

It's beyond ridiculous to even say it at this point, but I still can't understand the booking of Roman Reigns would make anyone want to cheer for him. He lost his championship match when Strowman interfered, fine. According to booking 101, he should get revenge on Strowman later and screw him during the Rumble. Did anything like that happen? Hell no! He was nowhere to be seen when Strowman was out there, and got a second chance for a title shot by entering the Rumble even after losing his match. Did he have to fight through hell to make it to the end? No, he had the biggest advantage of anyone in the match by getting to come in at #30! And then he lost anyway! To a glorified tag team wrestler!

undertaker's immobility and goldberg struggling to run the ropes does not bode well for wrestlemania's marquee matches

imo the worst thing is that the only real rumble storylines going in were based around part-timers, who were all introduced at the very end and did nothing of note before getting cheesed. and then randy orton, the guy who was blood sacrificed to make brock lesnar's return to a different company seem more important, wins, and who could possibly give a shit. the gulf between the part-timers and full-timers is so massive right now it's like they're not even in the same universe. and it's even worse when 2 of them are feuding with each other.

and this was the second year in a row there were no surprise entrants (excepting legitimate debuts) which is honestly 90% of the fun of the rumble

To be fair I've not actually seen him recently - missed the Goldberg, Samoa Joe, strowman stuff - and I gather he's been consistently phoning it in harder than ever this year while still being the super protected end-game boss baddie the whole time, which certainly isn't great from an entertainment perspective.

WWE house show attendance / business health generally is pretty high on the list of things I don't gaf about, makes no odds to me if they wilfully tank their own company

Anyone watch the njpw big shows? Is there anything actually interesting enough going on in wrestling for a rolling 2018 thread title? "Rolling Samoa joe is the only really interesting wrestler in 2018"? "Rolling young bucks sell all the merch to people who have never watched them wrestle 2018"?

i'm excited about the mixed tag challenge, but i'm more excited about rusev day

http://www.wwe.com/shows/wwe-mixed-match-challenge/article/rusev-to-team-with-lana-at-wwe-mmc

Rolling 2018: Where Every Day is Rusev Day