shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

Iowa Republican Trying to Kneecap State Universities Got His “Business Degree” From a Sizzler Franchise

Before entering politics, Chelgren was best known as “Chickenman,” a fun-loving character who wore a chicken hat, wielded a supersoaker full of beer, and biked naked in Iowa’s famous RAGBRAI bike race.

this is great tho
http://theiowarepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Chelgren.jpg

beginning of the End

http://www.latimes.com/business/hollywood/la-fi-ct-cinepolis-junior-20170302-story.html?123

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/04/06/steve-bannon-calls-jared-kushner-a-cuck-and-globalist-behind-his-back.html

as if anyone needed more evidence that "globalist" is just nazi code for "Jew"

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/20/bring-me-a-proper-pudding-jay-rayner-sick-of-half-hearted-dessert-death-spiral

It’s an endless parade of panna cottas and half-arsed mousses. The kitchen will throw on a bit of granola or a fragment of meringue to make it look like a dessert, but that doesn’t alter the fact. It’s not. It’s a squirt from an udder, set to a wobble courtesy of a boiled down cow’s foot. It’s a failure of ambition.

In recent reviews, I see I’ve lavished praise on various wobbly mounds. But the effect is cumulative.

It’s a squirt from an udder,
It's some good advice,
That you just can't take

Saw this go by earlier today and really took a while to realize it wasn't photoshopped:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C928JErXYAErSXl.jpg

2017 pictures you would've sworn were photoshopped if you were shown them in 2015

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2017/apr/27/tate-asks-staff-to-pitch-in-to-buy-boat-for-departing-chief-nicholas-serota

Teen spots school flag on ground and holds it up until someone can come hoist it back up. abcn.ws/24bTWmf

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DERkpaeXgAAh48h.jpg

well, maybe not quite - but almost...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DFMBmnJVoAIIGuW.jpg

two from my hometown

http://www.htrnews.com/story/news/2017/07/18/man-set-fire-manitowoc-police-had-chest-beard-hair-singed/489902001/
http://www.htrnews.com/story/news/2017/07/20/manitowoc-alderman-mike-howe-tries-climb-cow-arrested-owi/497335001/

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DFWSHvaWsAAr9n1.jpg

lol

amazing

that seems ripe for at least an hour's worth of find-and-replace fun

No actual german expressionism measures up to the ideal german expressionism for which I yearn

has anyone here read Jacobson's fiction and is it as bad as his op-ed pieces might lead one to assume?

O yes

he used the phrase "empurpled" ffs

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/aug/02/bus-seats-mistaken-burqas-anti-immigrant-group-norwegian?CMP=share_btn_fb

:(

Millennials Unearth an Amazing Hack to Get Free TV: the Antenna

http://www.dailycamera.com/news/ci_29509065/dui-suspect-tells-longmont-police-hes-king-Scotland

Texas man shoots armadillo, bullet ricochets back into his face

Uber’s search for a female CEO has been narrowed down to 3 men

that armadillo one is hilarious

The man was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where his jaw was wired shut, according to Rowe.

The status of the animal is unknown.

"We didn't find the armadillo," the sheriff said.

New study shows that chimpanzees of all ages and all sexes can learn rock-paper-scissors

http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2017/08/12/paramount_is_making_a_leonardo_da_vinci_biopic_starring_leonardo_dicaprio.html

http://jalopnik.com/nyc-transit-union-claims-the-mta-holds-dead-bodies-in-w-1797801971

always wondered about that tbh

People who use public spaces/facilities for their suicides are assholes. Walk deep into grizzly/wolf/vulture territory, and if the experience doesn't deter you, then at least you'll get a decent sky burial with no trauma to unrelated civil servants.

uh yeah I don’t think most people depressed enough to commit suicide are thinking rationally

People treated for putting sun cream on their eyeballs to watch the eclipse

Not an article, but while searching for subhumans on twitter condemning Obama's response to Katrina, I came across this photo/window into profound human dysfunction:

Three days after Hurricane Katrina: Where was Michelle Obama? pic.twitter.com/hjwhsxHdq5

— Bikergirl4trump (@TrumpResponders) February 23, 2017

http://www.politico.eu/article/far-right-german-candidate-promises-to-get-rid-of-arabic-numerals/

https://www.premierchristianity.com/Blog/What-do-Lidl-and-ISIS-have-in-common-They-both-remove-crosses-from-churches

ISIS’ genocide against Christians and destruction of religious architecture has been well documented. But what wasn’t so well known (until this week) is that the German supermarket chain Lidl has also taken it upon themselves to remove Christian crosses.

When it came to designing the packaging for their Mousaka, Lidl used the power of Photoshop (other photo editing programs are available) to erase crosses from the roofs of famous Greek Orthodox churches in Santorini (see above photo).

Now clearly there’s a huge difference between the persecution and murder of Christians in the Middle East and what Lidl have done. But whether attempts to remove crosses are violent and bloody, or digital and politically correct, the outcome is the same and a war is (deliberately or unintentionally) waged against Christianity’s most important and most central symbol.

Florida Police Warn People Not to Shoot Their Guns at Hurricane Irma

http://time.com/4935117/hurricane-irma-guns-florida/?utm_campaign=time&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&xid=time_socialflow_facebook

http://thebeehive.bumble.com/bumbleblog/the-dictionary-of-modern-dating

Monster fatberg: Museum of London wants piece for exhibit

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41265408

I would go see that exhibit

Eight workers are breaking up the object with high-pressure hoses.

Looking forward to the movie about these folks

Sign Language Interpreter Warned of ‘Pizza’ and ‘Bear Monster’ at Irma Briefing

IRS awards multimillion-dollar fraud-prevention contract to Equifax

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DL4aVWkV4AAj7YW.jpg:small