More terrible jokes - the worse the better

Cos he's got tiny legs!

"Aye," says the leprechaun. "It's drivin' me nuts!"

IT: Good morning, IT Helpdesk. Can I help you?

Customer: Yes, hello. I seem to have lost access to the net

IT: OK. Let’s see if we can sort this out for you. Firstly let me take your name

Customer: Fernando Torres

That's far from terrible!

A store detective sees a lone child in his shop he goes up to them and says "Have you lost your mummy?" Kid says yes. "What's she like?" asks the store detective. The kid replies "Big dicks and vodka!"

did you hear about the award for dentist of the year?

it's a little plaque

remy I lol'd

Have you heard about the new Constipation movie?

It hasn't come out yet.

i was at home the other week watching some LPGA tournament with my dad (on the teevee), and a young korean contender is knelt down on the green evaluating its aspect for her impending putt, when he releases the timeless bon mot, "looks like there's more than one slope!"

you can take the dad out of the 'nam, but...

just about all of the literature that comes out of Iceland these days is about Vikings. Viking novels, plays, tv shows, movies, and comic books are hugely popular there, and while a few of them are the product of historical research, most are pure fantasy. after getting thousands of complaints from confused consumers, the Icelandic parliament recently passed a law requiring Viking-related works to attest to their veracity: today, all Viking fiction must bear the disclaimer, "All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental," and, fittingly, all Viking nonfiction must bear the disclaimer, "BASED ON A TRUE SNORRI."

just about all of the cultural products that come out of Iceland these days are about Vikings. Viking novels, plays, tv shows, movies, and comic books are hugely popular there, and while a few of them are the product of historical research, most are pure fantasy. after getting thousands of complaints from confused consumers, the Icelandic parliament recently passed a law requiring Viking-related works to attest to their level of veracity: today, all Viking fiction must bear the disclaimer, "All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental," and, fittingly, all Viking nonfiction must bear the disclaimer, "BASED ON A TRUE SNORRI."

*fixed* (slightly)

idg the fernando torres one. Is he a soccer player or something?

retired now but yeah

I'm thinking of starting a charity where daring women volunteer their bodies to men who can't get any normally. Its called Women Help (the) Ordinarily Rejected Enjoy Sex

one i came up with:

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Interuppting cow from Jersey
Interuppti-
FACK YOU!

retired now but yeah

Lol