Always a classic: http://www.sbnation.com/2015/4/3/8291561/best-music-video-bartender
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 1 June 2017 17:06 (six years ago) link
6. if you're shaking up a drink make everyone and everything around stop moving so that your motions will form a seamless loop
http://i.imgur.com/L8MAe1g.gif
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 1 June 2017 17:15 (six years ago) link
dude
i posted that one already
― i n f i n i t y (∞), Thursday, 1 June 2017 17:25 (six years ago) link
i was trying to make a joke about making it seamless by fixing the person in the background and the moving computer screen logo
but you're right, as soon as i posted it i thought 'god i'm dumb'
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 1 June 2017 17:34 (six years ago) link
7. Know a little bit about the beers on tap
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 1 June 2017 17:42 (six years ago) link
xp
oh dude
props
i just saw that you fixed it tho
― i n f i n i t y (∞), Thursday, 1 June 2017 17:54 (six years ago) link
A martini is made with gin AND vermouth
― ein Sexmonster (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Thursday, 1 June 2017 18:25 (six years ago) link
9. We're gonna need a bigger cocaine
― Beetle Juice continued to spit all over our drinks (contenderizer), Thursday, 1 June 2017 18:31 (six years ago) link
3. Be somewhat inconsistent regarding when buy backs are initiated. This will keep the willful customer buying, searching for that elusive goal.
― calstars, Monday, 12 June 2017 20:56 (six years ago) link
4. when you're sliding into first, and you feel something burst....
― Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Monday, 12 June 2017 20:57 (six years ago) link
10. The hours advertised as "Happy" as listed on the placard outside the bar are subject to change depending on when a certain number of customers come in.
― calstars, Sunday, 27 August 2017 16:06 (six years ago) link
NYTimes article "how to get and keep a bartender's attention" contains this nugget :"In the event of a free drink, tip for its full price"
― calstars, Thursday, 5 October 2017 15:40 (six years ago) link
Never ask a customer’s name. But be ready to provide yours.
― calstars, Saturday, 6 January 2018 15:47 (six years ago) link
that's....weird.
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 6 January 2018 15:52 (six years ago) link
like...why shouldn't they ask
Horniness on the part of the customer (tinder/AM?)
― YouTube_-_funy_cats.flv (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Saturday, 6 January 2018 17:15 (six years ago) link
the bartender is going to learn your name anyway when you give them your credit card. and your last name.
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 6 January 2018 17:16 (six years ago) link
More accurately: never ask a customer’s name unless they ask yours.
― calstars, Saturday, 6 January 2018 17:35 (six years ago) link
http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2018/01/new-frontiers-post-employment-economy
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 6 January 2018 17:46 (six years ago) link
Yeah, that is creepy if a bartender asks/uses your name. I feel like some super heavy touristy places do that to milk tips from tourists assuming all of NYC is rude.
― Yerac, Saturday, 6 January 2018 17:49 (six years ago) link
The names thing works differently in different places. Big/busy/heavily staffed bars may have different reasons to give and ask for names than a cozy local does.
Bartender to patron: "My name's Kate if you need anything." Okay, maybe this is a management directive intended to make things more personable.
I don't relish it but I also don't mind it, and can see situations where it sometimes makes things easier for when you want something. One can now say "Kate" instead of "Excuse me" or "Miss" (which, ugh) or "Hey Barkeep," or maybe helps avoid "Yo, sugar tits!" And using words is preferable to waiting to catch the eye of a busy bartender, or doing the pathetic raised finger thing.
Also can be handy to know which person is "your" bartender in case checks/tips are being handled separately in that establishment. Sometimes there are non-bartenders behind the bar, and you might be asking a waitron, or a kid who's just refilling the ice.
"My name's Trevor, what's yours?" is a different vibe. Again, it's not necessarily ideal but it's probably not the bartender's fault; they are instructed to ask. I can see why it would be helpful in some places. Some people are running a tab, some people are paying as they go, some are using cash, some are using cards. Some people are sitting still on a stool and others are moving around the bar. Easiest to just get a first name to keep track of each patron.
Maybe their computer requires a name for each order. I have sometimes looked at my check and seen something like "glasses guy."
In some places having my name allows them to ostentatiously show that they remember it, and the associated drink. "Another Maker's Mark, Patrick?" I don't usually mind, unless I am in a grumpy "leave me alone and keep the booze coming" mode. And when in that mode I generally choose a bar conducive to it.
Another wrinkle is if one intends to become a regular. Names come in handy then.
― failsun ra (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 7 January 2018 11:16 (six years ago) link
i want to give my opinion on this, having worked as a bartenderif there is some connection or the person probably wants you to use their name in the future 99% of the time, they will at some point say: "hey, i'm katie" or something similar. definitely never ask.
― XxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxXxxxx (dylannn), Sunday, 7 January 2018 20:09 (six years ago) link
not really required and i stopped doing this at some point when my memory for regulars got better but i would make a note in my notebook with a few details about katie (drink notes, GLASSES, AUSTRALIAN, JW ANDERSON JACKET) (without her name, i would still add the notes with description) and when she comes in again and orders her drink, i can if necessary discreetly flip open to my notebook. 2ND time she comes back: "it was katie, right?" + maybe some followup on our last conversation: "how did that work trip go, to... boston?" if no pushback, next times: use name. if they never gave their name, do not attempt to do callbacks to earlier conversations as they probably aren't into that, unless they follow up on previous conversations themselves.
― XxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxXxxxx (dylannn), Sunday, 7 January 2018 20:13 (six years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7U3lo80YrQ
― failsun ra (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 7 January 2018 20:18 (six years ago) link
I only go to bars where everyone wears name tags.
― Jeff, Sunday, 7 January 2018 20:31 (six years ago) link
I wear a name tag whenever I go to a bar
― Choco Blavatsky (seandalai), Sunday, 7 January 2018 20:34 (six years ago) link
I have a couple places where my wife and I are regulars, I know all the bartenders' named and they know ours, but none of us ever use them.
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Sunday, 7 January 2018 20:36 (six years ago) link
Just in case there’s a customer enamored with you (yeah but no), never invite your SO to the bar
― June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Friday, 12 January 2018 22:19 (six years ago) link
When an old regular comes in after a hiatus, buy the first round. Or the third.
― calstars, Monday, 23 July 2018 20:13 (five years ago) link
- Establish a first name basis ASAP- emphasize in conversation what you have in common with the barfly- give equal facetime to everyone at the bar
― calstars, Sunday, 12 August 2018 02:51 (five years ago) link
- Establish a first name basis ASAP
erm...
― calstars, Saturday, January 6, 2018 10:47 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 August 2018 03:30 (five years ago) link
there are ways to solicit information without asking
providing your own name, or making enough small talk that someone gives their name works well
if you've made enough small talk, you can give your name again like "hey, I'm Travis, I work here wednesdays and saturdays, it's been nice talking to you"
if they don't introduce themselves at that point you've failed rapport
― mh, Sunday, 12 August 2018 03:47 (five years ago) link
never visibly react negatively to something the customer says in a neutral or positive way, unless you have a good rapport and it's part of a real conversation
for instance, if you see someone who was a longtime regular and he says "hey, I'm gonna have a kid!" do not mumble "jesus christ" and wander off disgustedly
― mh, Sunday, 12 August 2018 03:50 (five years ago) link
"my wife just died"
"oh, congratulations!!!"
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 August 2018 03:55 (five years ago) link
I have a lot of "don'ts" from a longtime bartender around town but I won't do them all at once
the best part was that he had (has?) a blog where he recounted stories and in half of them he seems horrible. and it's not a shtick, he really does act like that
― mh, Sunday, 12 August 2018 04:00 (five years ago) link
I personally don't love it when bartender asks for my name.
Some qualifiers, though. I might make an exception when it's done _instead_ of swiping or keeping a credit card. That seems kind of homey and nice and trusting.
In most places, they have to put _something_ in the system to keep tabs separate. I'd rather have the check say "Patrick" than "weird guy at end of bar."
― Your momma is so ethically praiseworthy (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 12 August 2018 12:39 (five years ago) link
Yeah sometimes it’s a good idea to ask (from the bartender’s POV) and sometimes not. Wrote that yesterday though when I was getting along well with a new bartender and her giving her name and asking mine probably swayed toward having another round there
― calstars, Sunday, 12 August 2018 18:09 (five years ago) link
I hasten to note that in a lot of places it's probably not the bartender's choice, but rather his or her manager.
I don't think my local barkeep is personally thinking "Wow, that enigmatic yet weirdly handsome guy with the glasses who does advanced crossword puzzles while getting sloshed alone is extremely compelling. How I wish I knew his name!"
More likely the decree comes down from management or corporate, saying "EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, ALL BAR STAFF WILL INTRODUCE THEMSELVES, SHAKE HANDS, AND ASK THE PATRON'S NAME."
― leica bridge over troubled cameras (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 12 August 2018 18:15 (five years ago) link
Like Barbershop
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 August 2018 19:23 (five years ago) link
If there’s a group sitting at a table, instead of waiting for them to order rounds at bar, clear their empties and take the next orders. Keep them drinking.
― calstars, Wednesday, 20 February 2019 23:14 (five years ago) link
So these vertical IDs for minors these days, c or d
― calstars, Saturday, 20 July 2019 19:22 (four years ago) link
makes sense
― alomar lines, Saturday, 20 July 2019 20:36 (four years ago) link
When you run out of music to play, put on Mothership Connection
― calstars, Friday, 2 August 2019 01:36 (four years ago) link
Serve a group before a single
― calstars, Saturday, 28 September 2019 02:59 (four years ago) link
A cig is the perfect break
― calstars, Sunday, 29 September 2019 00:39 (four years ago) link
When serving, if possible, set the glass down on the bar with an audible “pop.” This augments the overall auditory experience of the customer and is a reminder of the impending rush of pleasure, potentially leading to a larger tip
― calstars, Sunday, 20 October 2019 01:35 (four years ago) link
calma starstra
― Tart Prepper (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 20 October 2019 02:18 (four years ago) link
"What's your name?" should only follow "Wanna start a tab?"
― pplains, Sunday, 20 October 2019 02:37 (four years ago) link
If you sense a new patron is impatient or irritable, take his payment when you take his order. That will dissuade him from bolting while you’re pouring or otherwise engaged, leaving you one down on the count.
― June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Sunday, 3 November 2019 18:47 (four years ago) link
How garrulous to be ? Pluses and minuses on both sides. I think overall if you’re talkative and boisterous it’s to the benefit of the bottom line
― calstars, Sunday, 1 December 2019 03:44 (four years ago) link
Dad of a friend was a pub landlord and was found by the authorities (cant remember how) to be watering down his spirits and beer. Received a fine
― frederik b. godt (jim in vancouver), Monday, 17 February 2020 00:22 (four years ago) link
If you have a regular who’s established himself as someone who will come to your bar no matter how he’s treated, you can safely take some of your aggression resultant from other dumb customers out on him safely in a plausibly deniable, passively aggressive way
― calstars, Saturday, 27 June 2020 18:29 (three years ago) link
if you own a bar, close it. right now.
― I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), Saturday, 27 June 2020 18:40 (three years ago) link
If you have a customer you know the name of that is about to pass out or is otherwise excessively self-engaged, and that has finished their current drink, discern whether they want another by maintaining your distance and waking them from their reveries by shouting their name at them
― calstars, Saturday, 14 November 2020 18:45 (three years ago) link
When taking an initial order for which the customer pays with a credit card, say “keep it open?” (instead of “close it out?”). It’s easy for the customer to just say “yes,” and puts the burden them to affirm that they are leaving after one drink. Bummer
― calstars, Saturday, 20 February 2021 21:33 (three years ago) link
If you’d like to engage with a customer but don’t want to disrupt them if they’re on a solo mish, approach slowly and put it in neutral just incrementally within their range of spatial awareness.
― calstars, Saturday, 27 February 2021 21:37 (three years ago) link
If you have a customer who’s alone but you think might not want to give that impression, serve a glass of water next to them at the bar or across from them at their table.
― calstars, Saturday, 17 April 2021 21:16 (three years ago) link
Lol what
― P-Zunit (Neanderthal), Sunday, 18 April 2021 01:49 (three years ago) link
"Bartender duty #2: make sure yet customers don't appear to be saddos"
― P-Zunit (Neanderthal), Sunday, 18 April 2021 01:50 (three years ago) link
much obliged. my friend stepped out to take a call, but I just received a text (after talking to someone wanting to take that seat) that they had to head home after an emergency popped up at home. I am sure they will be fine. How you doing?
― mh, Monday, 19 April 2021 02:42 (three years ago) link
This more a tip for bar owners, but if your establishment brands its own glasses with its name or logo, instruct the servers to serve the customers with the name on the glass facing them. This will augment brand / establishment exposure in case the customer takes a photo and posts it on their MyFace
― calstars, Monday, 10 May 2021 00:05 (two years ago) link
Never tell customers the tip is included
― calstars, Saturday, 29 May 2021 18:12 (two years ago) link
In the summer, set up a water station on the side, so patrons can serve themselves
― calstars, Saturday, 26 June 2021 22:45 (two years ago) link
When you have a customer that leaves borromean condensation rings in their wake, assume they’re a pro
― calstars, Saturday, 17 July 2021 23:47 (two years ago) link
Diarrhea
― making splashes at Dan Flashes (Neanderthal), Sunday, 18 July 2021 00:29 (two years ago) link
Aim for an inch of foam on draft beer orders. Assuming you own the place
― calstars, Sunday, 25 July 2021 02:45 (two years ago) link
File under bar owner best practices:Regarding the selection of an initial seating arrangement during construction or renovation, eschew chairs with backs. Instead, choose benches or bar stools to prevent the customer from getting too comfortable — an uncomfortable customer is one eager for a drink. An adjunct benefit to this arrangement is that it discourages extended lingering.
― calstars, Thursday, 14 October 2021 16:46 (two years ago) link
When it’s time for another round for the group, be direct and ask the alpha first. They are the most likely to order another, and chances are the others will follow suit. In any case, do not ask the group as a unit (“can I get anyone here another?”) which makes it easier for all to decline and not be identified singularly as the buzzkill.
― calstars, Saturday, 23 October 2021 17:31 (two years ago) link
If a barfly asks your name it’s a fair bet to assume they want to be remembered by theirs
― calstars, Saturday, 27 November 2021 22:19 (two years ago) link
If a customer says “thank you so much” or is otherwise overly verbally gratuitous, you can probably safely tack on a couple extra bills to the bill
― calstars, Saturday, 15 January 2022 19:08 (two years ago) link
If your establishment doesn’t serve food but is takeout-friendly, keep a leather- or otherwise nicely bound book of delivery menus handy to keep the customers in-house
― calstars, Saturday, 15 January 2022 19:10 (two years ago) link
A friendly bartender showed me this beautiful old book - Bartender’s Guide by Trader Vic — which they keep for reference (4/5 of the book is recipes), but the first section is comprised of salty best practices. https://i.imgur.com/Gez9xRo.jpghttps://i.imgur.com/ykcFhfd.jpghttps://i.imgur.com/loqM0gL.jpghttps://i.imgur.com/A12JkJ0.jpg
― calstars, Sunday, 16 January 2022 02:37 (two years ago) link
I was just looking up used prices for that book this afternoon; out of my range. I would like to find a PDF of it until I'm rich enough to buy one.
― Everybody Loves Ramen (WmC), Sunday, 16 January 2022 03:07 (two years ago) link
https://bookos-z1.org/book/5308150/5dd96d
I don't know if this link will work for you, but hey ho!
― calzino, Sunday, 16 January 2022 03:16 (two years ago) link
Also here, but this is revised version from ‘72. Original was published in ‘46 iirc. From what I can tell it looks like the recipes were “updated” but the short essays in the front are the same. The writing is dated in a humorous way … “ Later on, we had a guy who could mix drinks like hallelujah holy toledo. This fellow was hot and a good friend of mine before I went into the saloon business. His name was Frank Pult.”
https://www.scribd.com/document/467774673/1972-TRADER-VICS-BARTENDERS-GUIDE-REVISED-US-pdf
― calstars, Sunday, 16 January 2022 13:37 (two years ago) link
Nice, thanks!
― Everybody Loves Ramen (WmC), Sunday, 16 January 2022 15:01 (two years ago) link
When a customer orders a subsequent drink, take care to place it in the exact spot where their last was
― calstars, Saturday, 30 April 2022 16:45 (two years ago) link
A lot of my customers carefully get a cocktail napkin ready while I'm working on their drink and slide it forward for me to finish the operation.
― If you were really hard core, you'd have thrown a full bottle (WmC), Saturday, 30 April 2022 17:00 (two years ago) link
Bar pros
― calstars, Saturday, 30 April 2022 17:15 (two years ago) link
i went to a bar by myself yesterday, first time in forever. i was killing an hour and a half waiting for my car to be inspected down the street. i went to an irish sportsbar, and was definitely the most awkward weirdo in the room. my instincts are horrible. in this giant sportsbar, there were about 8 customers. 4 were sitting at the bar, and the remaining 4 were sitting at a pair of tables a few feet away. but this room was huge, and i had a headache, so i thought i'd just go sit at a table by myself about 100 feet away. but i had to order a drink first. 3 of the 4 people sitting at the bar were old guys, and they were all staring at me. i made eye contact with one of them and he immediately looked away, and then the bartender asked me what i wanted. she called me honey and then turned away and her jean shorts exposed like half of her ass-cheek, and then i made eye contact with another old guy and he immediately looked away. i realized i didn't know what kind of draft beers they had, so i marched around to the other side of the horseshoe-shaped bar to take a look at the little knobs. i ordered a shocktop and was immediately disappointed with what i had done, and then i asked if it was ok to sit in the other, completely empty, part of the room. it looked like it might be closed off due to no customers entering it for the past 5 years. she said you got it to my beer request and of course to my question about sitting alone. i walked back around to the other side of the bar, waiting for my beer, and then realized i needed to sit down at the bar instead of walking 100 feet away. so i sat down. it got worse from there, i assume when i left they were like wtf
― Karl Malone, Saturday, 30 April 2022 18:50 (two years ago) link
i’m sure it was fine, if there are just old dudes at a bar mid-day they’re either locked in to their own thing or desperate for conversation. probably with their own kind, but you sit three seats away and they start making small comments at the tv or grunting noises to try to lure you in
― mh, Sunday, 1 May 2022 03:09 (two years ago) link
Also don't smoke pot just before you go to an Irish bar. Just sayin'.
― Josefa, Sunday, 1 May 2022 03:13 (two years ago) link
Karl Malone cruisin’ old guys at a dive.
― DAMAGED by Black Flat (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 1 May 2022 03:53 (two years ago) link
they will talk about this day for months to come
― maf you one two (maffew12), Sunday, 1 May 2022 12:47 (two years ago) link
If the bar is loud and a customer has a bill of $50 or less, express the total with your fingers. Round 6 up to the next ten.
― Diarrhea of a Madman (calstars), Saturday, 29 July 2023 20:20 (nine months ago) link
End every description of a drink with “it’s very distinctive”
― calstars, Thursday, 10 August 2023 00:28 (eight months ago) link
When pouring a pitcher, let the brew fall on the lip to break its fall, thereby preventing half a pitcher of foam
― calstars, Sunday, 13 August 2023 20:45 (eight months ago) link
Buy back calculation: customer must have ordered at least two rounds and have tipped half the price of their drinks
― calstars, Sunday, 10 December 2023 19:02 (four months ago) link
I prefer sellbacks, where I drink as much of the beer I want, and give the rest back for a prorated refund
― STUPID CRAP FACE (Neanderthal), Sunday, 10 December 2023 19:06 (four months ago) link
This is all very intimidating and confusing to me.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 10 December 2023 19:11 (four months ago) link
Are you a bartender?
― calstars, Sunday, 10 December 2023 19:58 (four months ago) link
When there are customers in hearing range, and the bar is quiet, and the customer tells you that they should be at work, don’t ask about the details of their employment
― calstars, Thursday, 28 December 2023 20:52 (four months ago) link
i mean
― Disco Biollante (Neanderthal), Thursday, 28 December 2023 20:59 (four months ago) link