Trump, June 2017: From [Covfefe] with Love

the governor who exposed himself while propositioning a state employee for sex, that guy had class

Bill Clinton was a slimy mf but he didn't do this shit in the middle of a press event!

Trump's got all those horrible impulses and the attention span of a toddler

Healthcare victory for USA! USA! \m/

Reminds me of the Longmont Potion Castle bit where he gets into a fight. Some other dude says something like I'll kick your ass, and LPC is like "Well I'll come up there and... succeed.'

Trump still thinks they'll edit that shit out in post-production

Unafraid of Trump, GOP senators feel free to ‘go their own way’

*cues up the Fleetwood Mac*

He's going to ask where Le Pen is the whole time, isn't he.

Trump is heading to Paris for Bastille Day next month.

— Josh Dawsey (@jdawsey1) June 28, 2017

"Great Rush song, the best."

What a popular plan!

Just 12% of Americans support the Senate Republican health care plan, a new USA TODAY/Suffolk University Poll finds. https://t.co/SoTyny6PT2

— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) June 28, 2017

Where conservatives are today
-Rand Paul & Mike Lee as ungettable as ever
-Ron Johnson seems close to yes
-Ted Cruz looks like Tom Ricketts

— Haley Byrd (@byrdinator) June 28, 2017

The last referring to

Great to host Tom Ricketts. Congrats on the World Series. (Should have been the @Astros!) pic.twitter.com/M5FTY59MeJ

— Senator Ted Cruz (@SenTedCruz) June 28, 2017

omfg i completely switched their faces and nothing changed wat is going on here pic.twitter.com/h9FzHt8avt

— darth:™ (@darth) June 28, 2017

lol so do u just pretend Bill Clinton didn't have all those sex scandals and was a slimy mf

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau),

I love your use of the GOP interpretation of "scandal" but continue your otherwise piquant comments on this thread, we're loving them

Who knew! (Everybody.)

FOX News has hired Jason Chaffetz as a contributor

— Justin Green (@JGreenDC) June 28, 2017

Sean Spicer, strategic genius

28.2M Americans are still waiting under #Obamacare and remain uninsured. They need relief now. #RepealAndReplace pic.twitter.com/guEEOiaXDy

— Sean Spicer (@PressSec) June 28, 2017

I love your use of the GOP interpretation of "scandal"

Yes, it was the GOP who perverted the term 'scandal' by making it about affairs and sexual harassment

As another poster said in sharing it, "yeah pretty sure that's not how it works"

JUST IN: Trump’s lawyers are postponing filing a Comey complaint, source says, in a bid to stop antagonizing Mueller https://t.co/V3RULKiOGU pic.twitter.com/wOYoStsEkC

— Bloomberg Politics (@bpolitics) June 28, 2017

If they really cared they would sent Muller an Edible Arrangement.

Hold up, wtf re: Spicer tweet. Is that real? I don't follow, that's some crazy up is down shit.

It is indeed real.

Problems problems

"We just simply don’t know how to govern,” says Rep. Steve Womack (R., Ark.), on the stalled GOP agenda. https://t.co/iW20yjQZle

— Capital Journal (@WSJPolitics) June 28, 2017

what an ass

http://thehill.com/homenews/house/339570-chaffetz-calls-for-2500-legislator-housing-stipend

$174k salary a year isn't enough huh

Meanwhile, of all people

Paul LePage just told reporters at the White House that he doesn't support Senate health care bill

— Ben Jacobs (@Bencjacobs) June 28, 2017

the man whom Charles Pierce calls the human bowling jacket opposes it!

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-06-28/trump-s-commerce-chief-cut-off-in-berlin-as-german-patience-ends

The U.S. commerce secretary was cut off in mid-speech during a video feed to an event hosted by Chancellor Angela Merkel’s party, underscoring how German patience with attacks on the country’s trade surplus is fraying.

Attendees at the Christian Democratic Union’s business conference in Berlin laughed and clapped when organizers faded out Wilbur Ross after about 20 minutes for overstepping his time limit. Merkel, who had been craning her neck on the podium to watch Ross speak on a screen behind her, then took the floor to close out the evening.

“That was the U.S. secretary of commerce, who had promised us a 10-minute statement,” Werner M. Bahlsen, head of the CDU Economic Council, told the audience Tuesday evening. “As you saw, he spoke a bit slowly, so it took a bit longer. Now we look forward to the chancellor’s speech.”

In church/state news, they dedicated a Ten Commandments monument on the grounds of the Arkansas state capitol, and it lasted just a few hours:

http://www.joemygod.com/2017/06/28/arkansas-man-arrested-filming-destroying-ten-commandment-monument-installed-yesterday/

Sadly, the guy who destroyed it is unwell.

Vayss unt meeenss of stopping u talk

A quote from another Kansas senator

Roberts on how do u address differences between mods and conservatives: "Even porcupines make love."

— Robert King (@rking_19) June 28, 2017

Hm hm hm

Walking into the Senate GOP lunch just now: CMS chief Seema Verma

— Phil Mattingly (@Phil_Mattingly) June 28, 2017

Of note here: Verma met earlier w/ Alaska Senators Murkowski and Sullivan. She closed the deal w/ a lot of wary House Rs.... https://t.co/4AgimodZdK

— Phil Mattingly (@Phil_Mattingly) June 28, 2017

The Mouse has spoken (I think)

WHOA. Vice is **retracting** that story on Trump and the Disney Hall of Presidents. https://t.co/ohClDOazVG pic.twitter.com/djWej9nDpX

— Sopan Deb (@SopanDeb) June 28, 2017

don't fuck with the Mouse House

vice sucks

Sounds like today is immigrant criminal scapegoating day at the white house

every day is immigrant criminal scapegoating day

^^^ the best Sheryl Crow song imo

Were those Vice pieces edited by the guy who was using interns as drug mules?

The Mouse has spoken (I think)

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 28 June 2017 17:44 (eighteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Time what it takes to type WHOA. Assume caps lock for efficiency. Assume you have your every need met from the minimum age at which you can type WHOA such that all of your days are spent attaining a type speed for that one phrase that outstrips any known human keyboard interface achievement otherwhere recorded or observed. Assume in this that you are fed, watered, thirdparty toileted at the relevant stance the better to constantly batter out this one awed expression second following minute following hour following day following season following life. Assume keyboards swapped into place with the practiced aggressive ruthless sterility of formula one tyre changes, assume steroidal implants into wrists and caffeinated dietary patterns and artificial lighting and the minimum of sleep required and supernormally elongated lifespan needed in order to be able to definitively state to the satisfaction of the mcwhirter apotheosis that in your terrible, artificial, bloodless and idiot existence you had eked out the greatest possible number of typed instances of WHOA not just on record but that could in any posited reality be realised.

Work out, from the total, what the least of these WHOAs was worth as an individual WOAH taken against all of the WOAHs possible in this imaginary WOAH maximising existence. Take this WOAH as a base standard for utter insignificance against all the WOAHs possible in a lifetime.

The WOAH at the start of the tweet posted above is that WOAH administered via homeopathy, the shittiest, least deserving WOAH of ours or any other time, truly a WOAH that will do the opposite of echoing through the ages, a WOAH that will exist in history as the complete blackhole absence of the meaning it presumably intended to convey, the typing of WOAH as an intro to such a radically underwhelming mousefart of nothing content is the work of a master satirist operating on a quantum physical scale and one can only fear what magic and havok might be wrought if the worst implications of such inversion of meaning and language can be brought to bear on the natural plane of existence inhabited by all known matter.

Man, "Campus Utility Meter Data (2017 WHOA Remix)" fucking sucks.

how confident are we that mcconnell doesn't have some kind of secret back-door loophole where they're gonna pass bcra at 11:59 friday night

dmac you have unresolved inner WHOA v WOAH conflict

in awe

Ffs xp

11 activists have just entered Tom Cottons office to demand TrumpCare meeting in Russell Senate building pic.twitter.com/ALEWAlWpdy

— Jeff Stein (@JStein_Vox) June 28, 2017

Also my friend Marta, who I've mentioned on here before who has a daughter, Caroline, with Rhett Syndrome, appeared and spoke yesterday at a press conference with Nancy Pelosi and other Congressional Democrats: https://www.facebook.com/marta.conner/posts/10155726701044410

Here is a video of a raven tearing the beating heart out of a pigeon on an NYC subway platform. Feel free to use it as a metaphor for something legislative.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlog3s9QAeI

http://i2.cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/170627151838-0627-sarah-huckabee-sanders-large-tease.jpg

perfect cross between Trump and a Melanie Hutsell SNL character

I feel great!

Trump's own advisers are struggling to convince him Russia still poses a threat, senior admin officials tell CNN.https://t.co/xsnRqbhLD4

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) June 28, 2017

"NSA Director Mike Rogers expressed frustration to lawmakers about his inability to convince the President to accept US intelligence." https://t.co/wjp2tZFgba

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) June 28, 2017

Negotiation!

Sen @RandPaul says he spoke at GOP lunch about how he wants to change bill.

Q: How was it received?

Rand: "Not very well, lead balloon"

— Frank Thorp V (@frankthorp) June 28, 2017

But the huckster's gotta keep on

Trump promises "big surprise" on stalled health-care bill https://t.co/1wD27AjtKL

— Washington Post (@washingtonpost) June 28, 2017

Surprise in this case being the satisfying fart he appears to be letting out.

but if Russia annexes more countries or gains allies counter to the US, I can still build more Trump hotels in those countries because Russians like me, right?

But the donors!

NEW: Key Republicans want to remove tax cuts for top earners from their health care bill. https://t.co/hdUllXyfz2

— Sahil Kapur (@sahilkapur) June 28, 2017

but the tax cut IS the bill. do you see?

Weird scenes inside the goldmine

Ann Coulter: Hannity Would Endorse Communism If Trump Implemented It https://t.co/RIeyXe4N1k pic.twitter.com/g2TOScNre8

— Mediaite (@Mediaite) June 28, 2017