VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

beautiful story morbs

Realised my flies were undone at the office and tried to zip them up without anyone noticing, but instead they made a slapstick ZZZZZZZIIIIIIIPPPPP! noise at five times the regular volume of trousers. Embrassing.

Later in the day I was taking my sweater off and accidentally took my t-shirt partway off as well - no big deal, just a beer belly - but then I somehow reinserted my head in the arm sleeve, got stuck and had to excuse myself.

If you ever need to make a significant adjustment to your clothing at work - any vertical zipping on a non-jacket item counts, any removal of a pullover layer counts - just do it in the bathroom.

Boys aren't taught this by their mothers. That's why I used to adjust my belt in front of people for years, like I was about to whip it out, but no, I'm just gassy, which is also TMI.

lol wait what

I have, in the past, not for years, semi-consciously unbuckled and buckledy belt in the middle of a conversation because I get lost in my shitty ideas a lot and I used to not understand all the manners

Or frankly give two fucks about manners - this was also when I wore Docs every day. Believe it or not chuck taylors at the office are an upgrade

Disagree about the toilet thing! Come to our office, adjust your buckle all you like.

I do a lot of random shit at my desk but I'm a slob. Actually in front of people, or in the hallway, I think I do less of it? Scared now.

I am about 90% sure my fart control mechanism is broken. I'd only chance silently farting at my
office desk, but I think having headphones on (and having them cranked up to music levels) somehow renders my brain incapable of remembering not to fart loudly?!?

so we're talking belt adjustment in the restroom, but I'm probably singing out loud and farting even more
loudly at my desk

Dont think this is just a boy thing (erm. Unless I'm just an uncouth dork>?). I have more than once undone my jeans button under my desk for comfort, then completely forgot I'd done so and got up and strode off across the office with my button undone :(

my manager takes his shoes off at his standing desk and walks up and down our row that way but idgaf

I do my part by taking folks over to an unoccupied room, or closing the door to my office, and then, only then, quietly painting a word picture of the unzipped pants, or the dry cleaning tag, etc.

Best approach imo

Better than the complete stranger who lunges at you in the lift and yells TAG DAG! and tucks in your sticking-out shirt tag >:|

that is the most australian thing i have read this week. it's like one of three men in the whole country is "that dude who tries to be the aggressive bro in your friend group"

it was a woman who did it!

doubly aussie, then

Haha, yes I suppose it is :)

two out of three women iirc

i'm bad with shoelaces. and then the women on the street have to tell me to tie them. it's like a public health hazard, like what if their kids trip. on my shoelaces.

I don't want to live in a world where adjusting your belt or button is frowned upon.

That said, I've my own office. Door's usually open but I can close the door which signals to my colleagues 'do not disturb', so I realize I'm privileged.

i once, as i left the flat to visit the shops, went out to put a binbag in the downstairs big bin on the way. forgot all about the bins and ended up at the door of the local shopping centre still carrying a great big black sack half full of rubbish. it's the sort of detail that, were it ever used as evidence in some kind of crime at which i was a bystander or whatever, no jury in the land would ever believe.

Thats awesome.

i mean how long were you walking along with the bag in your hand!?

oh i mean maybe only 5 minutes or so. but still..

I'm imagining Obama writing his memoir and all of it just being this stuff but Obama. I'd buy that book

Speaking of bins, recently spent a while sorting out the rubbish into recycling and landfill, rinsing out recyclable food containers, taking apart packaging made of different materials to go in separate bags

took it downstairs and threw the recycling into landfill and the landfill into recycling

I considered just leaving it, but felt bad and also intimidated by the signs everywhere saying that if landfill ends up in recycling tenants may be fined and they might stop collecting our rubbish etc etc. So, being too short to reach into the giant bins and fetch the bags out by hand, I went and found a nice sturdy stick which had fallen off a tree and eventually managed to hook the bags and fish them out. Some teenage boys went past the bin store door as I was doing this and looked disdainfully at me, the mad bin-hoking bag lady.

and then two days later I made the same mistake again.

At our old condo, I took at least a couple of bags full of clean, folded, gently used clothing that was to be donated and chucked them in the garbage bin.

Having communal bins with some being recycling and some being landfill and the locations of them being down to the bin men wasn't brilliant. Had large dumpster things that only fit in the shelter in certain ways. Did swap them around a couple fo times when I noticed they had been reversed and was thinking that people had been going by location not colour.
Don't think that ever sorted things out though. & had heard the thing about the cost about sorting out landfill going into recycling as in that sorting things back out of it was a costly business.
New landlord changed over to a new refuse firm where everything is going to landfill whioch is not something I'm really into9. Especially after hearing that the compost system with the old local council bin set up had been very successful. Hat eto think about all the waste food going into rubbish tips when they could be dealt with more sustainably.
But have no say in my refuse arrangement. Apparently that's all the landlord.

no recycling centres near you? we have curbside collection but also skips at some street corners / supermarket car parks.

Only for glass as far as I can see.

Got on a bus and when I missed my stop I raised a ruckus to the driver, "Hey, you passed the last two stops". I was quickly (and deservedly) corrected that it was an express bus, so I apologized and felt like a first class heel

<3

I was totally sure that next Monday was a Bank Holiday, and even managed to convince several people that it was. Turns out that, in England anyway, it isn't a Bank Holiday and also hasn't been since 1971.

It is in Ireland, if that is more/less confusing.

I passed my driving test today, then immediately left my credit card in my driving instructor's car.

Briefly struggled to recall which pullover I had put on this morning, neglecting the fact I was still wearing it at the time.

What does "pullover" mean in your local dialect again?

It's the second-last command in the driving test.

I did once manage to go one step further than snoball, and only turn up in work at lunch on a regular work day, because my Google Calendar told me it was a bank holiday ... in Scotland, where I wasn't.

I have my Google Calendar set to one-week-per-page view and next Monday has the heading 'Summer Bank H' (cut off because lol-res display). Clicking on that brings up a page that reads 'Summer Bank Holiday (Scotland)'.

yeah that's been bugging me top

scotland in my mind

i just pulled my keys out of my pocket and proceeded to hide them under a pile of clothes on my futon while daydreaming about something

i am glad i caught myself otherwise tomorrow morning would most likely not have gone well

I recently put a banana in the wash with my laundry. By the time I figured out where the missing banana must be, it had mostly disintegrated except for the peel and some bits of banana slime still clinging to my shirts.

I've put two Kindles through the washing machine in the past 18 months. It didn't end well for either of them.

Both times put my Kindle on top of a basket of washing to carry downstairs and by the time I got to the washing machine half a minute later I'd forgotten about the Kindle. The second time I was even thinking as I was walking downstairs, "Ha! Won't make that mistake again." :(

I was just getting over the banana one, but two Kindles is truly astonishing

I have hearing damage and wear rubber earplugs at work - they cost about £25. Every so often I give them a rinse and pat them dry with a kitchen towel.

Unfortunately I keep forgetting that I've just washed them. I look at the mysterious wet kitchen towel in my hand and throw it in the bin. Ten minutes later I'm on my hands in knees in the garbage trying to get my £25 earplugs back.

Today I had to trawl through the bins at the back of a staff meeting, to confused looks.

oh jeez what a nightmare... i can picture myself doing the same thing

Then later I was twirling my lanyard and smacked myself in the balls

It's been a day