on board
― Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 4 August 2017 04:21 (six years ago) link
2 year old walking around the dark apartment with sunglasses on yelling I'M CONFUSED making me feel like i'm in twin peaks
― na (NA), Saturday, 5 August 2017 23:39 (six years ago) link
went hiking with my three-year-old. she picked out a walking stick, immediately hunched over, and tottered along the trail saying, "i'm an oooold man! i'm an oooold man!"
― wmlynch, Sunday, 6 August 2017 22:59 (six years ago) link
This morning my 2.5 YO told me that boogers grow into mustaches.
― President Keyes, Monday, 7 August 2017 17:55 (six years ago) link
It's how i got mine
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 23:29 (six years ago) link
not my child but a lil dude I know (5yo) has come up with three names for his band:- haunted castle- fart kids- no noggin
im stealing at least one of these
― gbx, Wednesday, 9 August 2017 00:51 (six years ago) link
fart kids 4 lyfe
― Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 9 August 2017 02:48 (six years ago) link
My 4 year old daughter who just found a Bible in a hotel room:
"I want to read this book! Is it a pirate book?"
― silverfish, Wednesday, 9 August 2017 13:00 (six years ago) link
short answer: yes
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 9 August 2017 15:31 (six years ago) link
"wot yooo meeeen?"
I love this so much. Especially given the facial expression that goes along with it.
"Where ice cream come from daddy"?"It's made from milk, actually. Milk is very versatile""Milk!""Yeah. And the really crazy thing is that cheese is also made from milk.""CHEEESE! WOT YOOOO MEEEEEN??!!"
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 4 September 2017 10:57 (six years ago) link
haha, we got asked where ice cream comes from yesterday. Today he wanted to know where lettuce, cars and tissues come from.he's started replying in the negative as 'no, I don't think.'
― kinder, Monday, 4 September 2017 12:01 (six years ago) link
"cars?""also milk"
― mark s, Monday, 4 September 2017 12:13 (six years ago) link
Stock responses = 'factories' or 'farms' depending on the query.
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 4 September 2017 13:03 (six years ago) link
I put on Eric Dolphy's "Out to Lunch" last night when we were eating dinner. I don't listen to a whole lot of jazz, so my kids aren't really exposed to it much.
4yo daughter: "Is this Halloween music?"Me: "This sounds like Halloween music to you?"
We continue eating. About 10 minutes later:
4yo daughter: "I think this is Halloween music!"
― silverfish, Thursday, 7 September 2017 16:05 (six years ago) link
:)
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 8 September 2017 00:05 (six years ago) link
"do the ninja turtles have penises?"
― gr8080, Friday, 8 September 2017 17:00 (six years ago) link
Told Nora we were going to HMV on Saturday as we walked through town. She loves going in there so hot v excited and started shouting "HMV! HMV!"
Only she mispronounced it as "HIV".
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 12 September 2017 05:34 (six years ago) link
lol
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 12 September 2017 05:50 (six years ago) link
Excitedly singing and dancing along with Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars, both of my sons loudly and determinedly sang, "Up! Town! Fuck you up! Uptown fuck you up!"
Being the stellar parent I am, my immediate response was "SAY WHAT??????"
― this iphone speaks many languages (DJP), Tuesday, 12 September 2017 17:58 (six years ago) link
haha
― kinder, Tuesday, 12 September 2017 20:08 (six years ago) link
"I'm going to kill you daddy, then I'm going to kill the bathtub and kill the towel and kill the potty and kill the toothpaste"
jfc calm down kid it's just a bath
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 12 September 2017 20:19 (six years ago) link
Has he been reading bill o'reilly?
― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Thursday, 14 September 2017 06:02 (six years ago) link
Or a bootleg of The End.
― Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Thursday, 14 September 2017 09:15 (six years ago) link
HB - Think I'm going to be a wrestler when I grow up.
ME - Oh yeah? What's going to be your signature move?
[Thinks]
HB - Punching people in the nuts.
― pplains, Thursday, 14 September 2017 17:48 (six years ago) link
kid's gonna go places
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 14 September 2017 17:52 (six years ago) link
I mean, I was never that big of a wrestling fan anyway, but I'm pretty sure that move's illegal.
― pplains, Thursday, 14 September 2017 17:57 (six years ago) link
illegal, but hilarious
― this iphone speaks many languages (DJP), Thursday, 14 September 2017 18:10 (six years ago) link
important code deciphered: "it's a baby" is apparently 18-month old speak for "i've done a poo". (i think this is due to pee/poo functional confusion & pee-pee/bay-bee vocal confusion.)
― angelo irishagreementi (ledge), Saturday, 16 September 2017 16:44 (six years ago) link
I think he's trying to tell you he dropped the kids off at the pool
― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Wednesday, 20 September 2017 04:46 (six years ago) link
Food baby amirite
― DJI, Wednesday, 20 September 2017 05:01 (six years ago) link
given that she shat in the bath three times that week that is probably exactly right.
― angelo irishagreementi (ledge), Wednesday, 20 September 2017 08:01 (six years ago) link
Me to 4yo daughter: ... And so you're made of the dust of old stars.Her: That explains the black stuff I get behind my ears.
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Thursday, 21 September 2017 03:34 (six years ago) link
:D
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 21 September 2017 05:17 (six years ago) link
LOL
― how's life, Thursday, 21 September 2017 09:20 (six years ago) link
“My poop is an otter because it’s brown and swimming in the water”
― joygoat, Thursday, 21 September 2017 12:40 (six years ago) link
aw
― how's life, Thursday, 21 September 2017 12:44 (six years ago) link
"The night is all the shadows squished together."
― how's life, Thursday, 28 September 2017 23:19 (six years ago) link
emotionally and scientifically true
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 28 September 2017 23:48 (six years ago) link
^^^
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 29 September 2017 01:37 (six years ago) link
thats really awesome!
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 29 September 2017 05:19 (six years ago) link
My five year old, while listening to the new Brand New album:"Why are they singing so much? It's driving me nuts!"
― ArchCarrier, Friday, 29 September 2017 08:55 (six years ago) link
Your 5 yo OTM
― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 21:22 (six years ago) link
― how's life, Thursday, September 28, 2017 6:19 PM (five days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
I love this
― the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 21:27 (six years ago) link
"i want to be a journalist. or a ballet man"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 22:16 (six years ago) link
faster than a speeding pirouette, stronger than a cabriole, look! up in the sky, it’s a plie, it’s a barre, it’s BALLET MAN
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 22:35 (six years ago) link
Me: What do you want to listen to in the car?
2 Year Old: I want rock and roll. I want faster music. I want louder music. I want a man singing. Not a lady.
― President Keyes, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 18:35 (six years ago) link
K: Dad what's history? Me: Well, it's learning about things that happened in the past. K: Oh, kind of like, you know how there's chocolate at the bottom of king cone and the ice cream doesn't drip out? Grandma told me they didn't have that when she was a kid.
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 18:37 (six years ago) link
excellent
― kinder, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 18:39 (six years ago) link
> how there's chocolate at the bottom of king cone and the ice cream doesn't drip out?
y'know, i've never realised before now that this is EXACTLY WHY there's chocolate in the bottom of a king cone.
― koogs, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 21:00 (six years ago) link
President Keyes, your 2yo > my 5yo :(
― ArchCarrier, Thursday, 5 October 2017 07:32 (six years ago) link