thread of getting sw0le

i don't think olympic lifting is for me. my body is 90% made of femurs.

i've been a bad sw0lebro. in frustration at my pathetic bench "progress" i.. i don't know how to say this.. i DID AN ISOLATION EXERCISE AND I LOVED IT OKAY? i did dumbbell flys (properly) and I LOVED THE BURN. I FELT V STRONG. shit. i'm going to hell :(

on the flipside i am ripping up the recordbook with my squats, i honestly think i am going to get to three plates on each side by the end of the year which is frankly ridiculous if you look at me.

i don't believe in not doing exercises because they are not cool with the exception of the ridiculous shit this one former college football player who comes and talks about how much he loves jesus does. do you do dumbbell bench? i love it

after doing a great job for a long time i haven't been to the gym in 12 days. i am v busy at work and just want to sleep. it'll be ok. might go tonight.

i did after you suggested it, it was v hard but it was good and i should do it again

I had a long hiatus basically immediately after signing up for the new gym but made it back the other day

deloaded to 0.9 of my previous worksets and it was good but man was I sore

Maybe once a year, I'll go 7-8 days without going to the gym. But otherwise I'm terrified not to go, because I'm afraid that if I take a break I'll just fall out of the habit and stop going permanently. I guess that's probably not rational, but that fear has been a good incentive to go to the gym even when I don't want to.

if i don't go for as long as this i get anxiety about going back. i'm not going tonight. i will def go tomorrow. it'll be 13 days. it happens to me about 4-5 times per year and it is always easier to start again than i think it will be.

feels good man

probably not going to go consistently until october (the best month). i'm only just about to enter a stretch of getting home very late from work for 3 weeks. lol lawyering.

i went yesterday and genuinely had a good time. now i am sore.

well it finally happened. today i couldn't get out of the hole. my very first rep for what was going to be my max 3x5 and i just crumbled. so i took 10kg off and did my sets. slight bruise to the ego was my only injury. no idea what happened, i just didn't have it. i think i need to work on going lower. i always go parallel but i've been so afraid of "butt wink" and rounding my back that i don't go much lower than that. so if the weight feels particularly heavy and pushes me down past parallel i have trouble getting back up. so i think my plan is to stay 10kg lighter and get lower.

i did some deadlifts after and finally they are starting to feel good again. i've been feeling too far forward, just awkward, but i'm getting back over them properly now.

/seacrest out

i have been 3 times since my hiatus. and my thing is probably getting postponed so i can keep going.

you don't go past parallel??? part of the joy of squats imo is getting as low as possible

a bit lower but not too much, no.

the problem with going too much lower than parallel is flexibility. my lower back rounds a bit. but yeah it's clear i've reached the point where that has to change.

i.e. i also go as "low as possible" but my the definition of that for me is creating a hard limit now. i think.

i don't really believe in going as lot as possible. i'm def below parallel but you need to like, remain tense. no slamming. i've been doing my best squatting lately. my squat is still shameful but i'm not built for it. it hurt me for a long time.

as *low*

fanny pack was in rare form today. i thought i went early enough to avoid him, as the last few times he was there around 5 on weekends, but i was wrong. i heard him grunting and gurgling before i saw him. he comes up to me and says, "are you gonna do any cardio today?" i was like "i don't think so." "oh, i thought i saw you on the treadmill before." "i never use the treadmill." "maybe something else?" "rowing machine?" "yeah" "i dunno i don't do much cardio" "it's ok, that [gestures toward squat rack] burns calories too" "i guess" UGH! as if i give a shit how many calories i'm burning "well whatever you're doing, it's working! [makes flexing motion]"

there is a woman who works at the gym but was just there working out today and he talked to her. she was trying even harder than i was to get him to go away. he was telling her how much stronger he's gotten on weighted dips and she told him she could do without his sound effects. then the pièce de résistance. "when you're done with your set can you spot me?" "just let me do my workout" "i don't want to drop this weight on my toe..." dude how is she going to spot you on weighted dips?

the problem with going too much lower than parallel is flexibility. my lower back rounds a bit. but yeah it's clear i've reached the point where that has to change.

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Saturday, September 9, 2017 4:36 AM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a youtube lift guru named Alan Thrall convinced me to do a mobility and stretching routine before squatting (yes, stretching before lifting). I have similar problems -- mostly hip and shoulder flexibility issues, and it helps a lot with my depth and form. I start by foam rolling the shit out of my hips and legs, then I do a mix of mobile and static stretches, mostly for the hips (if you just google "hip mobility routine" you can find a few decent ones), and a little bit of yoga. It makes my squat workouts kind of long and usually means I can't do too much else that day, maybe just one or two other leg exercises, but it feels really good and helps a lot.

thanks!

there's a guy named mickey who likes to unload, with some note of hope, about all his medical issues. first time i talked to him he said he'd had kidney and liver transplants. don't drink or do drugs, was the message there. he asked me if i knew what kept him young, so i mimed doing curls (he does a lot of curls) and he said, yup.

yesterday i was getting set up and he was the only other guy there so i said hi and we small-talked about the weather. i said it was going to stay nice all the way through the 4th. he said something like "yeah, and the 3rd, too, i always think about the 3rd. you know, july 3rd, that's the day i got hit by that jet ski."

he told me the story; i couldn't really make sense of it. the conversation moved to the medical system generally, and he testified that the new Hep-C drug works really well. "i was on it before it was out, experimental. it works like magic. it just went through me like pac-man, eating it all up, mowmowmowmowmowmow"

― goole, Wednesday, July 1, 2015 3:01 PM (two years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this guy told me a couple doozies. i honestly love this guy.

i can't think how this one started off, he's not a super coherent storyteller. he said he ran the bar at one of the local strip clubs in the 80s/90s. on xmas day (!!) a guy came in, looking like he was homeless. after a couple drinks the guy said he had to go home and tend to his cats. mickey asked how many cats he had, and the guy said, 30-some and i mean big cats. the guy was some kind of tiger breeder. mickey made it sound like they went into business together after that? supplying siegfried and roy and animal segments on johnny carson and stuff. he gave me the guy's name and the supposed address of this compound, but i can't remember it. i've been googling and i can't find any trace so far.

then we were talking about houston, he said he was a bartender down there in the early 80s. he was a bartender. his boss was named jim something, but everyone called him chango. chango said he had a birthday present for mickey, show up at this nice restaurant. he does, and, chango's there, the other guy in the booth was billy gibbons. they partied hard.

this could all be "canadian girlfriend" style bullshit but i don't care!

anyway i had an mri on my right hip. despite lingering soreness along my iliac crest for like 2 years, apparently i'm medically fine. peace.

alan thrall, three days ago: long mobility routines are a waste of time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1zLTBudY6c

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ha! Well he doesn't really say don't do it, he just says he's evolved on the necessity of it and thinks you can skip it when time is limited. As an aside, dude looks like he got fatter.

yeah he is a rippetoe cultist now

I did really like his earlier video about stretching, in which he breaks down how the myth of "don't static stretch before a lift" got started -- it was actually a pretty smart bif of analysis of how a single study mushrooms into a kind of fitness urban legend.

Rippetoe's method is for strength at all costs afaict. Regardless of whether it's actually best for that goal, it has nothing to do with what I want out of life. Also I've noticed that Rippetoe and his acolytes get fat. He basically just advocates dumping as many calories down your throat as possible.

i like the part of starting strength where he breaks down strategies on how to successfully consume a gallon of whole milk a day, which is the entirety of the book's nutrition/diet content

yeah he's def turned the powerlifting lifestyle into a whole worldview

not to stan for the guy too much but he's said the GOMAD thing is meant only for young men who are underweight and in training.

yeah, the GOMAD thing is really just for people training to be linemen or whatever

the SS "routine" (alternating days of barbell routines with linear progression) is otherwise pretty fool-proof in my limited experience

that said: does anyone here mess with periodization (like 5/3/1 or something)?

my stint as a besocked powerlifter was sadly short-lived. i got told off for the second time now. "where are your trainers?" i didn't bring em man, got my timberlands back there in the changing room. "you have to wear trainers to protect your feet, what if you dropped one of these big weights on your toe?" reader, i didn't just think to myself "a trainer's not going to help much if i drop 200 pounds on myself" i went ahead and said it, i don't really give a fuck mang. i then got told about the RULES OF THE GYM that i signed several years ago. i explained myself a little, breaking it down, one might even say bro-ing down, but got told that i need flat-soled shoes at a minimum. oh well. let's see how it goes with my vans. it's just annoying that i have to tote around another pair of shoes.

i'm liking going a little deeper on the squats. probably just 1-2cms different but i do feel pretty badass. i'm taking it real slow. i stripped about 15kg off and working back up.

have been trying wide-grip benches but have hit the wall pretty quick. i'm going to give the dumbells a try again.

i love you guys' stories. i think we should all name the characters in our respective gyms. most of the more colorful dudes i don't see much anymore. there's a churn. there's a woman who comes in to pedal the stationary bike with a comical slowness, just endless reserves of lethargy in this woman, and she reads a novel while she does it. she's been doing this for at least 3 years now. the novel nut. speaking of nuts there's a guy who sprays his nuts with aerosol deodorant after he dries off from the shower. i find him hideous. there's another guy, mid-50s, who runs around regent's park and then does kickboxing and a little bit of useless lifting and chats everyone's ear off. he always gives me compliments though so he's alright with me, more or less. when he gets out of the shower he dries off and poses in the mirror. puffs up his chest, flexes his arms, kind of turns to one side, then the other, examining the bod. he's absurd but has no illusions. he's just ploughing his furrow.

i've seen a few people i work with in there. not often but it happens. there's a shared grin, slightly furtive. what is that? like we shouldn't be seeing this intimate side of each other. i dunno. i've been doing this long enough now that it doesn't bother me but i think it bothers some of them.

there's a woman who comes in to pedal the stationary bike with a comical slowness, just endless reserves of lethargy in this woman, and she reads a novel while she does it. she's been doing this for at least 3 years now. the novel nut.

I remember posting somewhere about exactly this phenomenon -- there's a special kind of passive aggressiveness to it.

there's a few people who do that on an elliptical at my Y. should start a new group class fad that's just 40 mins of siberian trudging

"Ok fine, society, I'll go to the gym, but don't expect me to get anything out of it!"

oh, fanny pack was back yesterday. i again changed the time i went. about 2 hours later than on saturday. he did the same. there is a guy there who is friends (?) with him and he is hearing impaired, and they talk to each other, both loudly but for different reasons. he says, "oh, it's great to see you bench pressing! let me know if you need a spot. any time. i mean it." NO. he and his friend did seriously the worst deadlifts i had ever seen. he was telling the friend, "no, squat down lower." because they were squatting down so low it was a struggle to get 145 pounds off the ground. there was lots of loud grunting. the only serious powerlifter in the gym was there and he was telling him something, and fanny pack said "thanks for the tips, man," not having internalized any of these tips.

something weird i have observed, is there is an elderly korean man who does that same kind of aimless lethargic cardio and talks to himself. it's fine, he's old. but fanny pack, who is also korean (though born in the u.s. or came here as a child) has these brief interactions with him where he talks to him as if he doesn't think anyone is watching, and i think he may be being mean to the guy. i cannot figure it out. he said something to him just before leaving yesterday.

i don't remember how to increase dumbbell bench press. trying to get more reps with the 45s and i can only do 2 or so, maybe 3, and they feel impossibly heavy. but that's how it felt to start with the 40s, iirc. i just can't understand how to do it. i can row the 45 a bunch of times pretty strictly. dumbbell row is my favorite thing lol.

i've been doing 1-arm rows with the bar in one of those lever socket things. getting your feet right is kind of a trick, since you have to row through an arc and not a straight line against gravity.

harbl: can you like stair-step it? if you're in a 3x5 mode, say, do the first set with 45s at however many you can, then finish the last 2x5 at 40?

that said: does anyone here mess with periodization (like 5/3/1 or something)?

― gbx, Monday, September 18, 2017 3:13 PM (three days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm doing this on a few of my lifts now, and i don't think i like it much? take it w/ a big grain of salt bc i'm v deloaded and rebuilding on a couple of them, but:

1. it's fun to pull heavy triples and singles but idk if it's enough work
2. the working set is really supposed to be "as many as possible, with 5 or 3 or 1 the minimum for success" and i really just don't have that kind of mind, i like a specific target
3. set-aside deload weeks are nice every month (instead of doing one when you get stuck) but again i can't tell if these are well timed relative to 'progress'
4. i'm still a 'novice' and might be forever; the program is prob best geared to someone whose maxes are already pretty high where something more linear is just impossible.

my plan is to stick w/ it for the rest of the year and see how i feel then.

yes goole that sounds good. could do like 2 sets of 2 and 2 sets of 5 or something. i am improving very much at my negative chin-ups now. verrrrrrry verrrrrry slowwwwwwww descent.

i'm gonna try a couple months of the 5/3/1 "boring but big" template, which is the 5/3/1 working sets followed by 5x10 at a much lighter weight. i share goole's concerns about volume but i think i've been pushing too hard and compromising recovery this summer, to the point where my linear progress has slowed to a crawl (and i'm not lifting that heavy).

anyway i wrapped up my current program today and start the 5/3/1 on monday, i'll let yall know how fuckin jacked i get

i also want to try his "building the monolith" 6-week program at some point purely b/c it's a good name

today fanny pack asked why don't use whatever that bar pad thing is when i squat. then he was helping some women on the machines.

this guy is really something else

oh yeah also he was on his weighted dips again. a guy came and asked if he could do dips too. he was like "yeah, i'm lifting some heavy weights, i need a lot of time to recover." a simple "yes" would suffice, you ass.

in non-fanny pack news i squatted the most i have ever for 5 reps and it was after 2 other sets of 5 where i also squatted the most i had ever, at the time

*applause*

Builiding the Monolith diet -

all ate at least 1.5 pound of ground beef a day and ate one dozen whole eggs a day

oh god the farts

today fanny pack asked why don't use whatever that bar pad thing is when i squat. then he was helping some women on the machines.

― assawoman bay (harbl), Saturday, September 23, 2017 3:46 PM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://media.giphy.com/media/Jlsz81x2c62Vq/giphy.gif

this is unholy.

Meal 1

8 whole eggs
4 pieces bacon
4 pieces toast
2 bananas
Meal 2
1 pound ground beef mixed with marinara sauce and some kind of pasta
Meal 3
2 Double Cheeseburgers
French Fries
Meal 4
6 whole eggs
.5 pound of taco seasoned ground beef
Cheese/lettuce/tomatoes/taco sauce
Combine all of this and make egg/meat burrito