?!?!
"the boys" / frat mentality extends way beyond actual frats.otmi foolishly thought if i stayed away from broey fratty people, i could escape it. wrong!
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:15 (six years ago) link
yea i agree w/ man alive. probably a better thread for all this btw but whatever
i was extremely averse to all-male situations after going to a boys' catholic high school which was frequently toxic, homophobic, misogynist, crude, awful. after that experience, when i went to college i sought out friendships mostly with women, and i now work in a profession that is 80% women.
but eventually i've found great value in cultivating close, intimate friendships with other men and that sometimes that intimacy can be facilitated by male-only environments. they don't have to be toxic.
in the past decade, i've been part of a few all-male things, all of which have been super healthy, positive, and rewarding, and have never gone into that kind of toxic gross shit mentioned itt: 1) a men's group to talk about healthy sexuality in the context of being a man; 2) a regular "dad's night out" for special needs dads (mostly autism parents) organized by a local autism/special needs non-profit; 3) a regular friday night group w/ some of my childhood male friends, mostly we talk about music, politics, food, art, film, sex too but ime some men are able to talk about sex without being fratty creeps.
though i have talked to male friends and family members that work in male-dominated professions and tbh it sounds fucking horrible
― marcos, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:15 (six years ago) link
Rolling No Girls Allowed Treehouse Thread (All Gender Identities Welcome)
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:16 (six years ago) link
that's exactly what bob pollard said"no girls in the treehouse"
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:17 (six years ago) link
I could've sworn there was already some "masculinity" thread
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:19 (six years ago) link
i would like to add, perhaps relevant to this thread, that my bad-vibes groups are men who work in the entertainment industry. not all of them are these bad dudes, most are not, but the conversations which wind up occurring are often...not the greatest.
― nomar, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:19 (six years ago) link
there's a few xp
plus like...... most of ilx sadly
― marcos, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:19 (six years ago) link
lol, my wife had her 40th in Vegas
Ha! Well, women do their own shit in groups, but defending this from afar, I doubt large groups of women get together and turn into assholes the way men often do. Or at least certainly not the same way.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:20 (six years ago) link
I doubt large groups of women get together and turn into assholes
lol sometimes I think there is nothing more terrifying than a gang of 10yo girls, the level of real emotional cruelty can just be insane
we're wandering rather far afield here...
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:23 (six years ago) link
(ftr my wife made me go to Vegas with her for her 30th birthday - it was just us though. also I hated almost every second of it apart from the Star Trek experience thing)
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:24 (six years ago) link
Don't get me started on kids.
BTW, per "locker room," back when the Access Hollywood tapes came out, the same friend who was anti-"dudes only!" in Vegas didn't defend Trump but did observe that the shit he was saying wasn't that different from the shit any one of us (guys) might say in private. My first thought was, not me! But my second thought was that I at least understood what he was talking about. One man's ironic quip ...
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:25 (six years ago) link
The last time I was in Vegas, for a wedding (bride was from Vegas), was actually fine, but after that my wife and I basically breathed a sigh that we would never have to go to Vegas again.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:26 (six years ago) link
Rolling Maleness and Masculinity Discussion Thread
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:30 (six years ago) link
Bourdain is ready to kill someone i think, he has been going hard after Weinstein and wants to also nail those who helped him along the way. Meanwhile there are a lot of people on his twitter feed going after him for not speaking up sooner (or speaking up about things like CNN hiring Lewandowski, or because he had Nugent on his show.) I mean i guess?? considering his gf was raped by Harvey Weinstein i'd personally be willing to let all that slide or not even think about it!
― nomar, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:48 (six years ago) link
wait waht who is Bourdain's gf now? (I know he separated from his wife awhile ago)
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:55 (six years ago) link
I work in teh cyberz, I'm fucked if I can't get along with a room full of white dudes around my age.
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:56 (six years ago) link
Asia Argento xp
― flappy bird, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:57 (six years ago) link
enjoyed reading a bunch of ilm posters say how uncomfortable they were in overly-male spaces
― ogmor, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:19 (six years ago) link
lol
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:21 (six years ago) link
LOOOOOOOLme too
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:25 (six years ago) link
I didn't know Anthony Bourdain is married to Asia Argento! That explains a lot.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:26 (six years ago) link
sorry gf
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:27 (six years ago) link
xposts Yes, I recognize the irony of that discussion, but ILX is as butch as it gets for me. And I wish lots more non-dudes posted here.
― the scarest move i ever seen is scary move 4 (Old Lunch), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:32 (six years ago) link
― nomar, Thursday, 12 October 2017 17:48 (forty-three minutes ago) Permalink
Well yeah, and I also think you have to defer to the victim on whether to speak out or not, no?
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:33 (six years ago) link
Like if it happened to someone I know, I don't think they would want me coming forward without their approval?
if she is his gf, i'd imagine he has her approval? i agree it's kind of embarrassing but a few short years ago people were still using the term save-a-__ when men stood up against piggish behavior so every bit of progress helps.
i am not a dude fyi for anyone unclear
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:36 (six years ago) link
i've long cherished the black and white blankness of ilx as a place i can exist without having to announce that but i felt it was worth noting under these circumstances
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:37 (six years ago) link
No I mean in re the people criticizing him for not speaking out sooner. I assume if his wife said "please speak out about this" sooner he would have?
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:37 (six years ago) link
oh ok i don't follow the criticism of the criticism -- that's too much for me to follow. i only have energy to fight the real enemy and that is not "the timing of anthony bourdain".
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:39 (six years ago) link
Yes, your presence as a non-dude ILXor is def noted and valued, LL.
― the scarest move i ever seen is scary move 4 (Old Lunch), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:40 (six years ago) link
And I wish lots more non-dudes posted here.
They did. Oddly enough, a number of them got a lot of shit and felt like they needed to leave.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:41 (six years ago) link
100% agree, i think i mentioned how jessica chastain on twitter said she had known about Weinstein for years and warned other women in the industry to steer clear. someone (of course they did, bc it's twitter) went after her for not coming forward and she said it was up to them to step forward or give permission to talk about it.
― nomar, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:41 (six years ago) link
A spokesperson from Twitter confirms that it put limits on McGowan's account because she tweeted a phone number:
We have been in touch with Ms. McGowan's team. We want to explain that her account was temporarily locked because one of her Tweets included a private phone number, which violates of our Terms of Service. The Tweet was removed and her account has been unlocked. We will be clearer about these policies and decisions in the future.
― President Keyes, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:43 (six years ago) link
save-a-__
wait, what is this LL?
― flappy bird, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:46 (six years ago) link
jessica chastain otm
__ = ho iirc? sometimes replaced with another word but i thought that was the original usage.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:48 (six years ago) link
check out E-40 discography
― President Keyes, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:48 (six years ago) link
smh that the ilx goons haven't done enough to put everyone on game to forty water by now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7vQSPBtwyc
― sic And Mordy’s worst fans don’t deserve sic And Mordy (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:49 (six years ago) link
yah looking back on the noize dude era of the board is something i look back on and regret being apart of regularly
― kurt schwitterz, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:51 (six years ago) link
Meantime, Ms. McGowan to Twitter
when will nuclear war violate your terms of service? https://t.co/72FiiyoZ59— rose mcgowan (@rosemcgowan) October 12, 2017
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:52 (six years ago) link
thought is was captain save-a-luna
― (•̪●) (carne asada), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:52 (six years ago) link
i think it's great that behind the scenes in Hollywood you had all these women banding together to help each other out and steer each other clear of a predator, though obviously not as great as the scenario where a predator was never allowed to roam free and enlist all kinds of help to cover up his crimes.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: people should never forget the names of those in the media who helped smear Weinstein's accusers. god knows how many of these women chose not to step forward because of the attacks in the press.
― nomar, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:53 (six years ago) link
smh that the ilx goons
ilx goons are an echo chamber
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:57 (six years ago) link
re: the Kate Beckinsale story, this is the full one:
I was called to meet Harvey Weinstein at the Savoy Hotel when I was 17. I assumed it would be in a conference room which was very common.When I arrived ,reception told me to go to his room . He opened the door in his bathrobe . I was incredibly naive and young and it did not cross my mind that this older ,unattractive man would expect me to have any sexual interest in him .After declining alcohol and announcing that I had school in the morning I left ,uneasy but unscathed.A few years later he asked me if he had tried anything with me in that first meeting .I realized he couldn't remember if he had assaulted me or not .I had what I thought were boundaries - I said no to him professionally many times over the years-some of which ended up with him screaming at me calling me a cunt and making threats, some of which made him laughingly tell people oh "Kate lives to say no to me ." It speaks to the status quo in this business that I was aware that standing up for myself and saying no to things,while it did allow me to feel uncompromised in myself,undoubtedly harmed my career and was never something I felt supported by anyone other than my family.I would like to applaud the women who have come forward , and to pledge that we can from this create a new paradigm where producers,managers,executives and assistants and everyone who has in the past shrugged and said " well, that's just Harvey /Mr X/insert name here " will realize that we in numbers can affect real change.For every moment like this there have been thousands where a vulnerable person has confided outrageous unprofessional behavior and found they have no recourse, due to an atmosphere of fear that it seems almost everyone has been living in .I had a male friend who, based on my experience,warned a young actress who said she was going to dinner with Harvey to be careful. He received a phone call the next day saying he would never work in another Miramax film ;the girl was already sleeping with Harvey and had told him that my friend had warned her off.Let's stop allowing our young women to be sexual cannon fodder,and let's remember that Harvey is an emblem of a system that is sick,and that we have work to do.
― nomar, Thursday, 12 October 2017 19:25 (six years ago) link
she never did work on a Harvey Weinstein production afaict, with the sole exception of The Aviator (like Brad Pitt w/Tarantino, maybe bc she wouldn't have to deal with him, or inversely maybe because he couldn't tell Scorsese not to hire here?)
― nomar, Thursday, 12 October 2017 19:27 (six years ago) link
I had a male friend who, based on my experience,warned a young actress who said she was going to dinner with Harvey to be careful. He received a phone call the next day saying he would never work in another Miramax film ;the girl was already sleeping with Harvey and had told him that my friend had warned her off.
JFC, "hey I know I fucked up but those were different times, it was totally normal for people to blacklist anyone who interfered with their habitual rape back then"
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Thursday, 12 October 2017 19:45 (six years ago) link
like the complete bullshit of his "apology" just becomes more and more disturbing with every detail I read. "Aw shucks I guess I'll talk to a therapist and donate some money for gun control."
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Thursday, 12 October 2017 19:46 (six years ago) link
his half-assed video apology today (to a camera crew):
Harvey Weinstein, in his first public response since multiple women accused him of sexual misconduct, said “we all make mistakes."
“Guys, I’m not doing OK, but I’m trying,” Weinstein told reporters on Wednesday as he entered an SUV parked outside his daughter’s Los Angeles home.
“I got to get help,” the former film executive said.
“A second chance, I hope,” Weinstein, 65, added.
― nomar, Thursday, 12 October 2017 19:48 (six years ago) link
...what
.@PageSixEmily says Weinstein told her he'll be back in a year w/new financial backing & winning Oscars againhttps://t.co/0H4eMlW3Qr— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) October 12, 2017
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 October 2017 19:57 (six years ago) link
He’s not sorry - he’s just sorry he got caught.
― kim jong deal (suzy), Thursday, 12 October 2017 19:58 (six years ago) link
Otm.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 12 October 2017 19:59 (six years ago) link